Here are 5 ways to get your ex to respect you again…

1. Stop saying and doing the things that will make her lose even more respect for you

A woman’s respect for you is changeable and is based on what to say and do around her and in life in general.

For example:

  • When you interact with your ex, are you confident and emotionally strong, or are you being insecure and self-doubting?

If you’re being insecure and self-doubting, she won’t be able to respect you.

Women only respect and look up to men who are confident and believe in themselves no matter what a woman says or does.

So, make sure that from now on, you always remain confident and believe in yourself around her regardless of how challenging she is being.

  • Who is the more dominant one in the relationship?

If you let her dominate you, push you around and control you with her confident personality, she won’t be able to respect you.

For example: She blames you for everything and you keep apologizing and trying to please her.

Women don’t respect that.

In cases like that, a woman wants a man to laugh at her (in a loving way, not in an insulting way) and her idea of everything being his fault.

She also wants him to be able to bring the interaction back to feel good emotions, laughter and love, rather than him taking her drama and false accusations so seriously.

For example: He remains calm, laughs and says, “Oh, we’re talking about this again, are we? Wow, I haven’t heard you blame me for that before. Please tell me all about it!” and then has a laugh with her about it, rather than taking it so seriously.

Alternatively, he says, “Yes, it’s all my fault. I’m the worst boyfriend (or husband) in the world. I should probably win a prize for that. Where’s my trophy?” and then have a laugh with her about that.

  • Do you complain about how difficult things have been for you since the break up, as a way of making her feel pity for you, or do you show her (via your actions) that although you still care for her and would love to get back together again, you don’t need her to feel happy and fulfilled in your life?

A woman can’t respect you if she senses that you need her to love you, approve of you and give you attention in order for you to feel good about yourself.

Women respect men who are happy, confident and forward moving in life (e.g. about his big goals and ambitions) with or without her approval.

A woman wants a man to love her, care about her, respect her and appreciate her, but she doesn’t want to be his reason for living or the person who needs to constantly lift his spirits and make him feel confident and happy.

  • Are you going after your big dreams and goals in life, or are you hiding from your true potential as a man because you’re afraid to take a risk or afraid to spend time on anything other than her?

Are you following through on your dreams and goals?

Women hate it when a guy is either too afraid to follow through on his dreams, or too needy of her attention to spend time on his dreams and goals.

Women respect men who have the balls to stand up and go after their big dreams, goals and ambitions in life.

Men like that make women feel safe, proud and respectful because he is someone that she can look up to, rely on and feel happy to be associated with in life.

So, if you’re asking, “How can I get my ex to respect me again?” you’ve also got to ask yourself, “Have I been continuing to turn her off by what I’ve been saying and doing?”

When you start being the sort of man that she can look up to and respect, she will naturally begin to look at you differently and feel a renewed sense of respect for you.

She will then begin to feel attracted to you again, even though she previously thought she was over you and wouldn’t ever have feelings for you again.


Attraction is a natural, automatic reaction that humans have to each other under the right conditions.

When you display traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, determination, emotional maturity), attraction happens automatically.

Women don’t have to think about it because it’s an automatic, instinctive reaction to attractive traits.

She may wonder why she is feeling attracted to you all of a sudden, but she won’t be able to to control it.

She will look at you as being an attractive man and as a result, her thought process about you will be influenced by that attraction.

She will look at things about in a more positive light and look for reasons why she is feeling so attracted to you all of a sudden.

In the case of getting an ex back, this is what works.

Another way to get her respect back is to…

2. Let her experience the new and improved you on a phone call and in person

Make her laugh and smile on the phone before suggesting a catch up

Sometimes, when a woman is being cold, distant and even little bitchy to her ex guy, he might decide that he needs a way to get through to her that will make her listen.

For example: He may begin to…

1. Send texts or e-mails to explain what he has learned since the break up

For example: He may text or e-mail something along the lines of, “I know I messed up badly. I was too immature/needy/insecure/took you for granted. I understand that now and I really have changed. I know that you feel like you can’t respect me anymore, but if you just give me one more chance, I promise you that things will be different this time. I’ve really learned from my past mistakes and I’m not that guy anymore. Please believe me. I have honestly learned my lesson and have changed. Let me prove it to you by giving me one more chance.”

Although the guy might be 100% sincere and honest, it just doesn’t work on most women.


If he has ruined her feelings of respect and trust for him, she’s not going to believe him.

Instead she’s going to just roll her eyes and think, “No you haven’t. I don’t believe you.”


A woman is only going to believe it if she can experience it herself on a phone call and in person.

If a guy is trying to explain how much he has changed, the woman can actually refer to that as being selfish.


It’s all about him, what he has learned, how sorry he is and his need to get her back.

To get a woman back, you have to focus on making her have feelings for you, rather than on explaining how much you’ve learned, promising to change and asking for another chance.

If you make her have feelings for you again, she will want to give you a chance for her own reasons (i.e. she is attracted to you again, she wants to be physical with you, she doesn’t want to lose you).

Another mistake that guys make is to…

Ignore her for weeks or months to show that he’s not desperately chasing her

A guy might say to himself, “I’m in her bad books right now and anything I seem to say or do just sets her off. It’s probably a good idea for me to back off for a while and give her some space to cool down. Then, not only will she respect me again for being a gentleman and giving her time to figure things out, but she will also feel respect for me for not chasing her like a desperate, needy guy.”

Yet, that approach almost never works.

Here’s why…

Ignoring a woman who doesn’t have strong feelings for you for weeks or even months is usually a waste of time.

In most cases, rather than miss a guy who is ignoring her, a woman will think, “Cool, thanks for giving me space to move on! Now I can finally focus on getting on with my life and finding a guy who can give me what I want.”

Why does she react in that way?

Essentially because she doesn’t have feelings for him anymore and he’s not doing anything to make her have feelings again.

He’s just ignoring her and hoping she will one day realize how much she still loves him and come running back.

Yet, instead of coming back to him, a woman will usually use the time apart to get over him and find another guy to hook up with.


He ruined her feelings, she broke up with him and he hasn’t even done anything to reactivate her feelings again.

He’s just hoping that ignoring her will do the trick, but what he doesn’t realize is that trick usually only works on women who still have feelings for their ex.

It rarely, if ever, works on women who break up with a guy because they no longer have feelings for him.

So, if you want to get your ex to respect you again, don’t waste a lot of time over-texting her or ignoring her and hoping that she will change her mind.

You have to get her on a phone call and then meet up with her in person, so that she can hear, see and experience the new and improved you for herself.

3. Tell her that the mature thing for her to do is to forgive you for her own benefit

Getting your ex to forgive you is a very important step to getting her respect back.

So, when you interact with her (preferably over the phone or in person), you need to let her know that forgiving you is something that will actually benefit her as much as it will benefit you.

For example: Say to her, “I know I stuffed up, but I’m taking responsibility for my actions and doing whatever I need to do to change and improve myself as a man. Not to get you back, but because I know it’s the right thing to do. I don’t expect you to believe me that I have changed and are no longer the guy you broke up with, but it’s important that you forgive me so that we can both move on with a clean slate. If you hold on to your anger and other negative emotions towards me, you’ll just be taking all that baggage to any future relationships that you might have. Doing so will only cause more problems for you because you won’t be able to open up your heart again. However, if you can forgive me now and are sincere about it, you will feel lighter right away. You will be able to see that I did make mistakes and I did learn from them, so it’s okay to forgive me and move on, rather than holding it against me for life.”

Important: When you say this to her, it actually makes her start to feel respect and attraction to the new you.


When she forgives you, she stops looking at you in a negative way because she separates the old you and new you in her mind as two different people.

If you the new you is a man who is worthy of her respect, she gives that to you and as a result, she can then easily feel attracted to you when you display attractive traits (e.g. confidence, humor, emotional masculinity, charisma).

4. Make her smile, laugh and feel good when interacting with you, especially when she is being cold or distant

One of the quickest ways to melt a woman’s resistance and make her begin feeling respect and attraction for you again, is by making her smile and laugh when she’s interacting with you.

Laughter takes the edge off any bitterness or negativity towards you and it stops you and her from acting like or feeling like strangers.

When a woman is smiling and laughing while talking to her ex guy, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to think, “I don’t respect him anymore. It’s over. I don’t want to talk to him.”

Instead, she begins to think, “This is nice. I can’t believe I’m enjoying myself talking to him again. I actually feel positive emotions for him again, rather than wanting to be as far away as possible from him like I used to.”

When she begins to feel like that, she is open to being guided back into a relationship.

So, make sure that you focus on making her laugh and smile, rather than trying to have serious, deep and meaningful conversations about the relationship.

By the way…

Here’s an example of how to make her laugh when she’s being cold and distant towards you.

Imagine that you call her and she says something rude like, “What do you want?”

Rather than let that throw you off and make you feel uncomfortable, simply turn it into something that you can both laugh about.

For example: When she says, “What do you want?” you can say in a joking way, “Some of your delicious, home made lasagna, garlic bread and a cold beer please” or, “A large pizza and a bottle of coke, thanks” and have a laugh with her about that.

She will feel attracted to the fact that you have the confidence to joke around with her, even tough she was being cold and unfriendly towards you.

She will also realize that you’ve changed (i.e. because you’re not reacting in the ways she is expecting you to), which will make her feel respect and attraction for you again.

5. Be a self-approving, masculine man

Women naturally respect men who don’t seek the approval of women or anyone else to feel good about themselves.

This doesn’t mean that you should be arrogant, rude, behave badly or look down on anyone.

Instead, just decide that you approve of yourself, you love yourself and you know that you are a good man who is worthy of love, attention and respect.

You don’t need the love, attention and respect of others to feel good about yourself, but you deserve it.

As a result, you will naturally exude the type of confidence that makes women and people in general respect you.

People can sense that you’re not a self-doubting, confused man who needs people to say, “Hey, you’re okay” or, “Hey, you’re cool” in order to feel good about himself.

He knows that he’s okay. He knows that he’s cool.

That’s a self-approving, masculine man.

So, while you do want to get your ex to respect you again, you shouldn’t actually need her respect to feel worthy, good about yourself or secure.

When you become your own man in this way, not only do you automatically become more attractive to your ex, but you also realize that you don’t need her to feel happy or fulfilled in your life.

That is attractive to her and to other women.

When your ex notices that you are being respectful towards her, but that you don’t need her to show you respect to feel good about yourself, she will respect you.

It’s pretty cool how it works.

All of a sudden, she can’t stop herself from thinking about you in a more positive light because you are now behaving like the kind of man she can actually look up to and respect.

She then feels drawn to you in a way that feels good to her and becomes open to the idea of reconnecting with her old feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.

So, if you want to get your ex to respect you again, start by respecting yourself.

Be a self-approving, masculine man.

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