If your girlfriend currently isn’t interested in giving you a second chance, you can make her interested by getting her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
For example: If you and her feel more like friends now (rather than lovers or boyfriend and girlfriend), then you need to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction by making her feel girly and feminine when you interact with her.
On the other hand, if she isn’t interested because you became insecure in the relationship (e.g. jealous, needy, controlling, too protective), you need to interact with her and let her see that you’re now confident and emotionally strong.
Once you create a spark, the door will then be open to rebuild her feelings and guide her back into a relationship.
However, make sure that you don’t ask your girlfriend for a second chance until you know that she is attracted again, because she will just keep pushing you away and saying things like, “I’m not interested,” or “Just accept that it’s over between us. I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
It can’t be about you wanting her back because you love her so much or because you promise that things will be different this time around.
It has to be about you making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you, so she can then believe that things really are different now and a relationship with you would feel good to her.
The truth is, contrary to what some guys might believe, getting a woman to give you a second chance is actually pretty easy when you focus on changing how she feels when she interacts with you.
Watch this video for some examples…
As long as you are actively making her feel some respect and attraction for you, she will begin to feel interested again.
You can make her feel that way.
However, if you make one or more of the following mistakes, she’s just going to keep saying that she’s not interested…
1. Asking her for another chance before her feelings have been reactivated
One of the most common reactions that guys have when they get broken up with is to quickly try and convince their ex to give them another chance.
For example: A guy might explain what went wrong in the relationship, offer to change whatever she wants and promise her the world if she changes her mind.
Yet, if he doesn’t first spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him, she will usually just keep saying, “Look, I know you mean well but I’m not interested in you anymore. It’s over between us. You need to let me go and move on with your life.”
Essentially, what she’s not coming out and saying is, “I know that you’re sorry we broke up, but that doesn’t change how I feel. Sorry is about how you feel. You still don’t understand what caused me to stop having feelings for you and you’re just hoping that if you apologize I’m going to forget about all the things that have been turning me off. You’re also hoping that we can then go back to the way things used to be. However, I’m not interested in going back to that, because I don’t believe that you can change. You need to accept that it’s over and stop trying to convince me to change my mind. You don’t even know how to quickly become the man that I want you to be, so I’m going to just move on unless you can somehow make me feel differently.”
Sometimes, a woman will give a guy another chance when he convinces her that things will be different, but if she’s given him chances like that before, she will eventually get tired of it.
So, don’t waste your time trying to get her to give you another chance based on you promising to change.
Instead, just sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love by behaving in some of the ways that are attractive to women (e.g. by making her feel feminine and girly when she’s interacting with you from now on, making her smile and laugh, showing her that you’ve moved past the level you were at when she broke up with you, being emotionally masculine).
When you re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction, she will be more open to the idea of getting back together with you again.
On the other hand, if you just keep saying and doing the types of things that were turning her off before and interact with her in a neutral way (rather than an attractive, masculine way), she’s going to keep saying, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not interested.”
2. Trying to make her feel sorry for you
Sometimes, it can be difficult for a guy to accept that even though he’s still truly in love with his girlfriend, she’s not interested in giving him a second chance.
All those good times, the hugs, kisses, sex and loving moments are all gone now and she no longer feels the same way.
Some guys just can’t deal with that kind of rejection, so they try to make the woman feel pity or guilt for making him feel so sad, depressed and rejected.
He might then begin to beg and plead for another chance only for her to keep saying, “No. I’m not interested.”
Feeling worse than he ever has in his life, he might then say something like, “How can you do this to me? I love you so much. How can you be so cold-hearted after everything we’ve shared together? Don’t you care that you’re breaking my heart? You mean the world to me and you’re acting like I mean nothing to you. Yes, I messed up, but doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? You might not think so, but I believe that what we had is worth fighting for. Obviously my love for you was real, while you were only pretending to care about me. If you loved me for real, you wouldn’t do this to me.”
Yet, rather than make her think, “Oh no! My ex must really love me if he is so sad about our break up…maybe I’m being too hard on him. Maybe I should just give him another chance and see if things can be different this time,” his behavior makes her lose even more respect and attraction for him. Why?
It’s a woman’s natural instinct to be more attracted to the kind of guy who has the emotional strength to cope with the random problems and challenges that life throws at him.
So, when a guy is looking for pity and is making himself look desperate and emotionally weak in a woman’s eyes, she actually feels turned off by him.
Her instincts tell her, “See, you were right to break up with him. He’s not emotionally strong enough to be able to cope with his problems and take care of himself. If you give him a second chance, you will probably end up having to take care of him and teach him how to be a man in his life. You need a man, not a boy. Go through with the break up. He’s the sort of guy who will lean on you for emotional support and never grow up. Leave now while you can.”
Even if the guy has the ability to be a man and handle the challenges of life, her instincts are going to be telling her otherwise because it’s based on his current behavior.
It doesn’t matter if a man has been emotionally strong around a woman for a year; if he becomes emotionally weak, that’s who he is in the woman’s eyes.
Women want to be able to feel safe with a guy who can handle the challenges of life, rather than getting stuck with a guy who needs her to make him feel safe.
A woman wants to be with a man who is confident, self-assured, determined and able to take care of her, not her have to take care of him.
Rather than her taking pity on him, his behavior actually causes her to lose even more respect and attraction for him.
Of course, it’s sometimes possible to make a woman feel enough pity for a guy that she gets back together with him for a few days.
However, she will just break up with him again when she realizes that he’s the same as before and that he doesn’t have what it takes to change what she needs him to change.
So, don’t waste a lot of time trying to make your girlfriend feel sorry for you.
Instead, just start saying and doing the types of things that will cause her to stop and think, “Hey, what’s going on here? This isn’t the way I’ve been expecting my ex to behave. He’s so different now. He’s actually being so mature and emotionally strong. I like the new him. Maybe it’s not too late to give our relationship a second chance.”
When you reactivate your ex girlfriend’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again, you won’t have to resort to making her feel pity for you to get her to give you a second chance.
Instead, she will want to give you a second chance because it feels good to her; not because you’re attempting to manipulate her feelings for you by making her feel sorry for you.
3. Saying that you will wait for her no matter how long it takes
Often, when a woman is saying things like, “It’s over between us. I’m just not interested in getting back together again,” a guy might decide that the only way to show her that he’s really serious about getting her back, is by making it clear that he will never, ever get over her.
He might say to her, “Even though you say that you’re not interested in giving me a second chance, I want you to know that I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes. I don’t want any other woman. I want you. You’re the only woman for me, and eventually you’ll see that no other guy will care for you the way I do and that our love is worth saving.”
He may think that by showing her how committed he still is to her, and that no other woman compares to her, she will feel flattered and open herself back up to giving him another chance.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Although a woman appreciates a man who is totally loving and devoted, she doesn’t want to be his purpose for living and she doesn’t want to be responsible for taking care of his will to live or happiness in life.
She also doesn’t want to feel like he can’t attract other women and only wants to be with her because she originally gave him a chance to be with her.
She wants him to be confident enough to move forward and enjoy his life with, or without her.
If a guy sits around waiting for his girlfriend to hopefully one day give him a second chance, it usually means that he’s neglecting other areas of his life.
For example: A guy might decide to avoid going out socially and interacting with any other women, in case his girlfriend finds out and thinks that he’s moved on.
He might neglect his career, or give up on his purpose in life.
Yet, that’s not attractive to a woman.
Of course, there are some women out there who will enjoy an ego boost when they discover that their ex is waiting around for them and going nowhere in his life.
However, the majority of women like the idea of being with a man who can be happy and fulfilled in his life with, or without her.
So, if you want to ask your girlfriend for a second chance, make sure that it’s because you sincerely love her and because she adds value to your life, not because she is your life and you have nothing else going on without her.
Then, when you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) and she gets a sense that you are happy, confident and getting on with your life without her, she will begin to see you in a new light.
You will seem more attractive to her and she will feel drawn to you again.
4. Being extra nice to her to show how much you care
Another common mistake that guys make when they are trying to get a girlfriend to give them a second chance, is to be extra nice to her.
For example: A guy might lavish his ex girlfriend with gifts and tokens of his affection, help her out financially by paying her rent, buying her groceries or paying her bills and make himself available to her 24/7.
He may think, “If I’m really nice to her, spoil her and make myself an essential part of her life, she will realize that I really care for her and that she can’t live without me. Then, even though she’s been saying that she isn’t interested, she will change her mind and give me a second chance.”
However, what a guy like that doesn’t understand is that when a woman is saying things like, “Go away. I’m just not interested in getting back together again,” it’s because she doesn’t have sexual and romantic feelings for him anymore.
Even though she might appreciate that he’s being extra nice to her, it’s most likely not going to make her think, “What have I been thinking? This guy is such a gem! I want to kiss him and have sex with him right now! Look at the way he’s spoiling me and doing everything I want. I better give him a second chance before he gets away and some other lucky woman takes him,” because all he’s doing is being nice to her, without renewing her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him first.
So, don’t waste your time being nice to your ex girlfriend and then feeling hurt and dejected when she keeps saying “Thanks, you’re so sweet, but I’m not interested in being in a relationship with you anymore.”
Instead, you need to make her interested by getting her to feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When you re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. via the way you think, talk, behave and interact with her), she will naturally drop her guard and appreciate that you care about her.
Then, giving you a second chance will actually feel right to her.
Making Her Go From Not Interested to Very Interested and Then Getting Her Back
When you started off wondering how to ask your girlfriend for a second chance even though she wasn’t interested, you may have been thinking, “If she’s not interested, nothing that I say is going to make her change her mind, so it’s probably a lost cause. I’ve lost her forever. I guess I just have to accept that and let her get on with her life without me. I’m just not good enough for her.”
Yet, hopefully by now you’ve realized that getting her to change her mind is actually a lot easier than you might have thought.
When you re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, something interesting happens…
She stops focusing on all the negative things about your relationship and she starts to see you in a new, more positive light.
From there, it’s up to you to continue sparking those positive emotions inside of her (i.e. respect, attraction and love) and guide her back into a loving, sexual relationship with you.