Ignoring your ex’s texts isn’t going to prove anything if you actually still are needy.
The only thing that is worth doing is varying your response times to her texts, so she doesn’t feel like you’re sitting around waiting for a text from her at any time of the day or night.
For example: When you get a text from her, sometimes reply immediately, sometimes after a minute or two, after 10 minutes, or even an hour or two.
The reason why is that it’s completely normal and natural to do that.
However, completely ignoring your ex’s texts as a way of showing her that you’re not needy usually backfires, because a woman thinks, “Oh yeah? You want to play games? You’ll see how it feels when I ignore you now,” and she then plays really hard to get.
It then becomes difficult to reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you because she’s ignoring your texts, refusing to answer your phone calls and may even unfriend you on social media.
So, don’t bother playing games with your ex to the point where you completely ignore her attempts to reach out to you.
Instead, if you want to show her that you’re no longer a needy guy, the best way to go about it is to:
1. Become emotionally independent
When you’re busy living a full and productive life (e.g. hanging out with friends, pursuing your big goals and ambitions in life, enjoying a fun, outdoor hobby and interest), it becomes almost impossible to be needy at the same time.
Note that I said ‘outdoor’ and didn’t say ‘indoor’ because I’m not talking about playing video games, reading novels or watching TV alone.
I’m talking about getting out and doing something, especially when it involves you being around other people.
So, rather than sitting around feeling sad and lonely without your ex and thinking things like, “My life is so dull and boring without her. She’s the one who made everything feel fun and exciting,” make sure that you’re focusing on being happy, with or without her.
If you honestly do that, she will sense it when you next interact with her and it will make her feel some respect and attraction for you.
How will she sense it?
- By the confident way you talk about things when you chat to her on a phone call or in person.
- By looking at your social media pages and seeing photos of you doing fun things friends and acquaintances.
She will know (without you having to put on an act, or play games) that you’re not needy anymore.
As a result, she will automatically feel some respect and attraction for you for making positive, attractive changes in such a short space of time.
2. Take action to fix your issues
A guy can try to hide his neediness from his ex, but it will come across eventually, no matter how good he is at acting or lying.
For example: All she has to do is pretend to show interest in getting back together again to make him excited and happy that he’s getting another chance.
Then, she can change her mind by saying something like, “You know, I’m just not sure about this. I think it’s better if we stay broken up. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up. I’ve changed my mind. Please accept that.”
If the guy then starts pleading with her and saying things like, “No…don’t say that. Please baby, just give me another chance. I can’t handle the thought of losing you again when we’ve come so close to getting back together again,” she will instantly know that he hasn’t changed and is still needy for her.
Alternatively, a guy might try to hide his neediness by ignoring some of his ex’s texts or phone calls, but she can tell that he’s just doing that to try and show her that he’s not desperately missing her and is potentially losing interest.
She knows how much he wants her back, so she feels turned off by his insincere, manipulative attempt to get her back.
Soon enough, he finds out that she has moved on and when he tries to contact her, she gives him the silent treatment to get revenge for the games he tried to play with her.
So, if you want your ex back ASAP, I don’t recommend that you play games with her.
Instead, take quick action to fix your issues and become the emotionally attractive guy that will make her open back up to you.
For example: Although neediness might be the main issue that needs to be fixed, in most relationships there are also secondary issues that a guy has no idea about.
Some of these issues can include jealousy, controlling behavior, or the inability to make his woman feel girly and feminine in his presence.
So, not only do you need to focus on becoming more emotionally independent to get over your neediness, you also need to start improving on some of the other problems as well.
If you stopped being able to make her feel girly and feminine (i.e. because you became too emotionally sensitive and weak), you need to man up right now and get ready to let her experience that when you interact with her.
When you interact with your ex and she can see that you have been man enough to identify your issues and fix them immediately, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
3. Get her on a phone call with you so she can experience the new you for herself
You can spend weeks and even months texting back and forth with your ex, but that’s not going to stop her from moving on with another guy if he comes along and triggers her sexual and romantic feelings.
So, don’t waste time playing games with your ex (e.g. ignoring some of her texts to show her that you’re not needy) and just take real action like the confident, self-believing man you have become.
Get her on a phone call with you and reactivate some of her feelings for you by letting her experience the new and improved you.
How can you do that?
Not by saying, “Hey, I’ve really changed. Believe me, I’m different now,” because that doesn’t work.
Telling a woman that you’ve changed is completely different to interacting with her, letting her experience the changes and allowing her to decide for herself.
For example: If a guy got broken up with for being insecure, needy and clingy in the relationship with a woman, he has to talk to her and let her see that nothing makes him feel insecure or unsure of himself anymore.
He’s so confident now, he believes in himself and he has the balls to joke around with her and not worry so much about how she is going to react or respond.
It’s not about being rude or arrogant, but it is about being a confident, self-assured guy, which is what all women want anyway.
So, when getting an ex back, a guy will fail if he puts on an act and pretends that he’s not needy anymore (e.g. by acting like he’s really happy without her, acting doesn’t have feelings for her anymore, saying that he doesn’t want her back).
Why won’t that work?
No matter how much he tries to hide it, his neediness will inevitably come through in the subtle ways he communicates with her.
All she has to do is say something like, “You seem so different now. I was recently wondering if we could actually get back together again, but clearly you’re not interested anymore. Pity…I guess we should both move on and find someone else then.”
If he then sounds hurt and says things like, “How can you suggest something like that? Didn’t what we have mean anything to you? How can you move on so quickly? Of course I want us to get back together again. I still love you,” she will instantly know that his newfound confidence and emotional independence was completely fake.
On the other hand, if he just laughs at her attempts to make him feel insecure and responds to her by saying something along the lines of, “Sure, that sounds like a great idea. Maybe sometime soon we can even double date!” she won’t be able to deny that he really has changed.
So remember: If you want to prove to your ex that you’re not needy and have truly changed, you need to show her via the way you talk and interact with her over the phone and in person.
For example: How do you react when she tests you by telling you how happy she is without you, or talking about all the fun she’s been having with other guys or with her girlfriends?
Do you maintain your confidence and turn it into something you can both laugh about together, or do you feel hurt, get upset, or start doubting your chances with her?
That’s what really matters to her.
She wants to see if your newfound confidence is real, or if you’re just putting on a fake front to hopefully trick her into giving you another, brief chance at a relationship with her.
If you want her back for real, you’ve got to do this for real.
It can’t be fake.
So, are you going to do this for real?
Are you going to do what it really takes to get a woman back in your situation?
If yes, then great – I am going to continue helping you until you get her back.
4. Focus on making her smile, laugh and feel so good that she wants to meet up with you
The more you make your ex smile, laugh and feel happy to be talking to you again on the phone, the more she will be thinking, “What’s going on here? He’s so different all of a sudden. I was expecting him to be nervous and insecure on the phone, but instead he’s so relaxed and confident now. I’m actually having such a good time talking to him. This is really fun. He’s so much sexier now. This is what I wanted from him before.”
Then, if you suggest a catch up, she is a lot more likely to say “Yes” because you’ve already been making her feel so good that the idea of seeing you in person actually sounds like something she wants to do.
On the other hand, if you’re way too serious over the phone and are constantly trying to make a good impression on her (e.g. by being extra nice and polite, trying to show her that you’re not needy), then she will be more likely to say “No” when you suggest a meet up.
So, make sure that when you call your ex on the phone, you focus on making her feel positive emotions for you (e.g. respect, attraction, love), rather than negative emotions (e.g. anger, annoyance, disgust, boredom).
Here’s an example of how you can do that…
Imagine you’re on a call with you ex right now.
You could say something boring like, “Hi Mary. I just wanted to say hi. So how are you doing?” but that’s not going to do anything to spark her feelings for you.
Instead, she’s likely just going to respond with something like, “Fine,” or “Okay,” which then leaves an uncomfortable gap in the conversation.
On the other hand, you can use humor to make her smile, laugh and start thinking to herself, “This is nice. Talking to him again is better than I imagined. I’m actually having fun.”
For example: You could start the call off by saying something like, “Hey Mary, I just wanted to say hi and share some really awesome news with you.”
She will likely feel curious and respond by asking, “What news? What’s happened?”
You can then say, “I getting married!”
She might then say, “What?! Oh, okay, well, congratulations then.”
You can then say, “No, I was only kidding. The real news is that I just won the lottery! Isn’t it great?”
She might then smile and respond by saying something like, “Wow, that’s awesome!” or “Get out of here! You’re just pulling my leg!” or, “No way!?”
You can then say in a joking way, “No, seriously! I won $20! I’m a rich man now” and let her have a laugh.
Then say, “So, how about you help me spend all the money? Let’s meet up at Starbucks. You can order anything you want, as long as it’s not over $5. After all… I don’t want to blow all my winnings in one go!” and have a laugh with her about that.
At this point, she will most-likely be laughing and will be impressed to see that you’re confident enough to joke around with her in that way.
When you make an ex smile and laugh again when talking to you, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling good about you.
Even if she tries to resist it, she won’t be able to hold on to her negative feelings about you for long because you are actively replacing her negative memories of you (e.g. of being needy, insecure, self-doubting) with new, positive feelings.
When that happens, her guard comes down and she becomes open to meeting up with you and seeing where it goes.
So, after a bit more laughter and smiling, you can say, “Seriously though, it would be nice to catch up in person to say hi and grab a coffee as friends. How about getting that coffee tomorrow? 1 or 2pm is good for me.”
By that point, she should be feeling so relaxed and happy that she will agree right away.
If not, just maintain your confidence and arrange a time that suits you both.
At the meet up…
5. Show her that you’re now emotionally stronger than before and then confidently guide her back into a relationship
For your ex to open herself up to the idea of getting back together with you, she first needs to be able to look up to, respect and feel attracted to you.
So, when you meet up with her, make sure that you don’t undo all the great work you’ve done up to that point by being too serious, nice or polite.
Don’t worry too much about what she’s saying or doing, don’t give her too much power over the interaction and don’t try to suck up to her.
Instead, focus on maintaining your confidence around her (regardless of her behavior towards you) and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new, stronger man that you’ve become.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that is by…
- Showing her your confidence by not feeling nervous or unsure of yourself when she is being distant, or saying things like, “There’s no reason for us to get back together,” to be hurtful towards you.
- Using humor to lighten the mood and get her laughing, smiling and feeling good about her decision to meet up with you.
- Standing up to her (in a loving, but dominant way) if she tries to dominate you during conversation.
- Reacting differently to the way she’s expecting you to (e.g. she tries to make you jealous by telling you about other guys she’s been seeing since you and her broke up and rather than getting upset, or doubting your chances with her, you laugh and say, “That’s great! I always knew you had it in you to lighten up and have fun for a change. I’m glad to see you’re finally doing it. You go girl” or, “Ohhh, no…I’m so jealous. Haha…not! Good for you. I hope you find Mr. Right, rather than ending up with a Mr. Wrong like me. I was the worst boyfriend ever”).
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than being a good little boy around her who is on his best behavior.
When you interact with your ex in those ways, you are showing her that you are now the kind of man she can truly look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love.
You really have changed and are now a better man than you were before.
As a result, she will automatically feel attracted to your confidence and emotional strength and won’t be able to stop herself from looking at you with new eyes.
At that point, you won’t even have to ask her if she wants to get back together again.
The hug, kiss and potentially sex should then happen naturally, because it will now feel wrong to her to let you slip through her fingers and be the one who got away.