3 possible reasons why your ex replies to some of your texts, but ignores most of them are that:
1. You’re texting her too often
Some guys believe that the best way to prevent an ex from moving on and get her back, is by staying on her mind via text.
So, a guy will often send his ex girlfriend (or wife) texts about random things, as a way of staying in touch.
For example: He might text things like, “Hey, I was just thinking about you. How was your day?” or, “On my way to work and I just wanted to say hi. Have a great day!” or, “Having coffee in that little coffee shop you used to like and thought of you. How has your day been so far?”
He’s hoping that she will think, “This is so sweet. I’m always on his mind and he’s always on mine. It must be a sign that we are meant to be together.”
Yet, that’s just not how a woman thinks or feels after she’s dumped a guy and no longer wants to be with him.
In reality, when a woman doesn’t have strong feelings for her ex anymore, getting endless texts from him about random things is usually just going to annoy her.
She will think something like, “Why is he texting me all this crap? I don’t care that he’s thinking about me, on his way to work or having coffee at my favorite coffee shop. Is this his way of trying to get me back? Does he honestly believe that if he keeps texting me I’m just going to forget what happened between us and go running back to him like it doesn’t matter? How pathetic. He doesn’t even have the balls to call me and talk to me in person, so he hides behind text. He’s just wasting my time. I’ve got to start ignoring more of his texts, or he will keep going with this approach.”
Even if she responds to some of his texts to be polite, most of the time, she will just roll her eyes and decide to ignore him.
Getting constant messages from her ex who is trying to make conversation doesn’t show her that anything about him has actually changed.
It doesn’t solve any of the core problems that they faced in their relationship, and it doesn’t make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for him.
It’s just a bunch of texts from her ex, who she assumes, is still pretty much exactly the same and if she gave him another chance, wouldn’t even know how to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants in a relationship.
So, if your ex has been replying to some of your texts, but ignoring most of them, it could be because you’re just texting her too much about random, unimportant things and she’s now feeling annoyed and turned off by your approach to getting her back.
Even if you think she won’t be pleased that you call her, you’ve just got to do it.
When you get her on a phone call, you can quickly reignite some of her original feelings of respect and attraction for you and make her feel attracted in new ways.
On a phone call, it’s a lot easier to break through her walls and get her to open up to you again, because you can make her laugh and smile and show her that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.
More importantly, she can feel differently right now and realize that things really are different between you and her now.
She is now feeling attracted to you and open to you.
Then, when she gets a text from you, rather than rolling her eyes and thinking, “It’s my ex again. Why won’t he just leave me alone? I hate getting texts from him” she may think, “Oh, it’s him. I had a good chat with him the other day. It was actually fun. He sounded so much more confident and self-assured than he used to be when we were together. I wonder what he’s up to now? Maybe he’s going to ask me to meet up with him. I think it would be so nice to see him face-to-face again.”
Then, the process of getting her back becomes so much easier.
Another reason why your ex might be replying to some of your text, but ignoring most of them is that…
2. Your Texts Are Too Emotional
Sometimes, a guy will use texting as a way of pouring his heart out to his ex.
For example: A guy might text something along the lines of, “I know I stuffed up and I’m really sorry for that. I want you to know that you mean the world to me. Nothing feels the same now that you’re gone. I can’t even eat or sleep properly. Do you realize how much I care about you? You were the most precious thing in my life and I ruined it. Can you ever forgive me and just give me one more chance to prove to you how much I love you and care about you? I don’t know what I’d do if you say that you can’t. I miss you so much and I want to make it up to you. Will you please give me a chance to show you that things can be different between us from now on?”
When a guy is feeling lonely and missing his ex like crazy, pouring his heart out to her and being overly emotional might seem like a good idea to him at the time.
He may even think, “If she realizes just how much I still care for her and that everything I’m doing is because I want her back, she will stop being a hard case and agree to see me again. She will know that no other guy will ever feel the same way about her as I do and be willing to do anything to make her happy. Then, she will decide to give me another chance.”
Yet, that’s not how it usually works.
Unless a woman is still in love with her ex (which means she would probably be replying to everything he’s texting her and even suggesting they meet up), when a woman has lost respect and attraction for a guy, she’s not going to really care when he texts her about his feelings.
Instead, she’s going to feel even more turned off by him and what she perceives as his emotionally wimpy and needy behavior.
Rather than making her think, “Oh my…I am so lucky. I never realized how much he really loved me. I’m being way too hard on him. Most women would kill to find a guy like him and here I am ignoring his texts and being difficult. I need to make it up to him before I lose his love,” she will be thinking something like, “Isn’t it interesting how all he seems to talk about are his feelings for me? Not once has he thought about how I feel. Instead, he just wants me to care that he cares and wants me to give him another chance because he wants it. Well I don’t care and I won’t give him another chance. I stopped caring when I broke up with him and now that he’s being all emotional and acting like a woman via text, I only get more determined to cut him out of my life and move on. Doesn’t he understand that I’m not going to care how he feels about me, unless he does something to actively make me have feelings for him again? The feelings have to be mutual. Why doesn’t he understand that and do something about it?”
Here’s the thing…
If a guy has turned a woman off and she is no longer connected to her old feelings for him, she’s going to feel turned off when he pours his heart out via text to tell her all about his feelings for her.
Also, because she can’t see his body language, hear the tonality of his voice, or assess his state of mind in the moment, she will just assume the worst of him (i.e. that he’s so insecure, needy and desperate right now), rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt and assume he has changed and is a better man now.
So, if you’re going to tell your ex how much you still care about her, leave it until after you’ve re-sparked her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Then, when you do tell her, she will be happy to hear it because the feelings will be mutual and as a result, it will bring you and her even closer together.
However, it you tell her all about your feelings before that (especially if you do it via text), she will likely just shut herself off from you even more.
If you’ve already made that mistake, don’t worry.
From now on, only text your ex as a way of getting her on a phone call with you, where you can actively make her have feelings for you again (e.g. by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you again) and then get her to meet up with you in person.
Stop trying to use text as a way of slowly getting her back because it just doesn’t work on most women.
Most women get annoyed and turned off by texts from their ex because she doesn’t have any real evidence that he has changed and can now make her feel differently.
Another reason why your ex might be replying to some of your texts, but ignoring most is…
3. You’re trying to convince her to give you another chance via text
If a woman is being closed off and is making it difficult for her ex to interact with her (e.g. she refuses to meet up with him in person, she is cold and unfriendly over the phone), a guy might decide that his best chance of getting through to her is via text message.
He might then text her things like, “Please forgive me. I know that I stuffed up, but I can make it up to you if you just give me a chance. Please think about it. I really think we can work things out,” or “I know you don’t think I could ever change, but I promise you, if you just give me one more chance I’ll be a different man this time around. Just tell me what you want me to do to make you happy and I’ll do it. I promise. Please just agree to give me this chance.”
Yet, rather than make her think, “Well okay then. Since you put it that way, of course I’ll give you another chance,” she will think something like, “Is he seriously asking me to give him another chance via text? He just thinks I’m going to drop all my negative feelings for him and give him a second chance based on what he says in a text message. He must think I’m naïve enough to fall for his requests via text. If he doesn’t even have the balls to talk to me face-to-face and apologize for his past behavior, I’m not going to make an effort to reply to his texts. Yes, I’m being a bitch about meeting up with him, but he needs to be able to deal with that. He’s got to be confident enough to make the meet up happen. If not, he’s not man enough for me.”
A guy might think that she is being unreasonable or selfish by not being easy about the ex back process, but a woman has her reasons.
Sometimes, she doesn’t make things easy because she wants to test his confidence.
Other times, she doesn’t make things easy because he’s not even saying or doing anything to make her feel rushes of sexual and romantic attraction for him.
He’s just texting her!
…and as you may know now, texts just don’t work very well on an ex.
Texts are great when the feelings are mutual, but if one person isn’t interested, texts become an annoying form of communicating very quickly.
So, I recommend that you save any requests for a second chance with your ex until after you’ve reactivated her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you in person and have gotten to a kiss.
However, when re-attract her and get to a kiss, you most likely won’t have to ask her for another chance, because she will probably be the one saying to you, “I think we made a mistake breaking up. Let’s try again.”
On the other hand, if you try to convince your ex to give you another chance via text when the feelings aren’t mutual, it’s more than likely that she will ignore most of your texts and possibly even be thinking, “If this is the best he can do to try and get me back, then I definitely made the right decision to break up with him.”
If You Don’t Reactivate Her Feelings First, She’s Not Going to Feel Motivated to Reply to All of Your Texts
If your ex has been replying to some of your texts, but ignoring most of them, it’s because you’re just texting her and hoping that it will be enough to make her want to get back with you at some point.
However, that approach rarely, if ever, works and usually results in the woman moving on with a new guy and then no longer replying to any texts from her ex.
So, if you want your ex to reply to your texts and more importantly, want to get back with you, you need to make sure that you reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you by showing her that you really are a different man now.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by:
- Understanding her real reasons for breaking up with you and taking some steps towards improving those things about yourself (e.g. If you were insecure before, you’re confident and self-assured now. If you were too wimpy or weak-minded before, you’re emotionally strong now. If you let her dominate you and get her way all the time, you’re now more emotionally dominant and stand up for yourself).
- Making her smile, laugh and feel happy during interactions with you, rather than being too serious or emotional.
- Getting to the point where you want her back, but don’t need her back to feel content and fulfilled in your life.
You don’t have to be perfect to reactivate your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you to get her to open up to you.
Instead, you just need to show her (via the way you think, act, behave and interact with her) that you are no longer at the same level you were at when you and her broke up.
When you reactivate her feelings for you, everything changes automatically.
All of sudden, she wants to be in contact with you and see you in person.
On the other hand, if you don’t reactivate her feelings for you first, she’s just going to be thinking, “Why won’t he leave me alone? Can’t he see that I’m not interested anymore? He’s just wasting my time.”
The Easy Way to Get Her to Feel a Strong, Renewed Sense of Respect and Attraction for You
I know that you probably prefer texting your ex, but you’ve just got to understand that it doesn’t really work when getting an ex back if the feelings aren’t mutual.
The truth is that there’s the easy way to get your ex back and there’s also the hard way.
The easy way is on a phone call and in person.
The hard way is via text.
So, why waste time and energy trying to get her back the hard way when you can just pick up the phone, reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. by making her smile and laugh and feel happy to be talking to you again) and get her to meet up with you in person, where she can see for herself (via the way you talk, behave, act and interact with her) that you’re a different man now?
It might feel easy to just text your ex and wait for her to give you a sign that she’s open to getting back together again, but in reality it’s not easy.
Mainly because you can waste weeks or even months trying to get some kind of positive response from your ex, only to find out that while you were waiting, she was moving on and has now hooked up with another guy.
Don’t let that happen to you.
As the man, it’s your responsibility to take the lead in the ex back process and guide both you and her back into a relationship.
So, don’t make the classic ex back mistake of hiding behind texts in the hopes that she will make it easy for you or that she will make all the moves to get you back, so you don’t have to risk the possibility of being rejected.
Just pick up the phone, get her to feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and then meet up with her in person.
When she sees you face-to-face and experiences the new man you’ve become, everything inside her will change automatically.
She will feel naturally attracted to you and drawn to you and as a result, getting her back will be simple and straightforward.