It can really suck to discover that your ex doesn’t seem to care that you’ve broken up, while you’ve been suffering from a serious case of a broken heart.
You miss her, you love her and you want her back.
Yet, she’s not really worried about it and seems to be doing just fine without you.
Don’t worry, you can change things and make her care.
Here are 4 ways to do that…
1. Reactivate her feelings by letting her experience the new and improved version of you
Right now, your ex is probably trying hard to disconnect herself from any remaining feelings she still has for you.
For example: She might be going out with friends, partying and trying to convince herself that she’s fine and doesn’t care that you’ve broken up.
Essentially, behaving like that is a woman’s way of making it easier for herself to move on and open up to meeting and falling in love with a new man.
Naturally, that’s not what you want her to do.
You want her to feel the same way that you are feeling (i.e. sad about the break up, eager to fix things between you and her so that you can get back together again, still in love).
So, how can you do that?
Use every interaction you have with her from now on (e.g. via text or e-mail, on social media, over the phone and in person) to show her that you’re no longer the man she broke up with.
You really have changed and more importantly, she really does feel differently about you now.
Her feelings are coming alive again.
There’s that warm feeling of love in her heart, the beginnings of sexual desire and the potential for a romantic, intimate relationship once again.
She can feel it.
She might try to ignore it, but if you’ve sparked those feelings inside of her, they will begin to grow on their own.
She will be thinking about you, missing you and imagining what it would be like to get back with you.
So, what are some ways that you can make her feel some respect, attraction and love for you when you interact with her?
- If you displayed unmanly behavior too often and turned her off, you’re now more emotionally mature and masculine.
- If you lacked self-belief before, you’re now so much more confident and self-assured.
- If you were a jealous controlling guy before, you’re more emotionally balanced now.
- If you placed her needs ahead of your own, despite her bad behavior, you are now able to stand up to her in a loving, but dominant way.
- If you made her feel neutral and more like a friend around you before, you are now able to make her feel surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
When she can see for herself that you’re at a very different level now as a man, she will struggle to hold on to the idea that she doesn’t care about the break up and not being with you anymore.
This is why it’s so important to take action and actively get her back by focusing on making her have feelings for you.
In other words, you’ve got to do something about it.
In most cases, a guy can’t make his ex woman feel attracted and in love with him by sitting back and hoping she assume he has changed, come running back to him and want another chance.
The truth is that these days, women are usually experienced enough with break ups to know that it doesn’t take long for the pain of a break up to fade away.
Women also know that they can speed up the process of getting over their ex by having sex with a new guy and allowing herself to fall in love with him a little.
When she does that, she doesn’t feel an urgent need to get her back because her emotional needs are pretty much being met by the new guy.
This is why you’ve just got to make a move and get her back now, before you lose her to another guy.
Unless a woman is still secretly in love with her ex and is afraid that he might meet another woman, or she’s really struggling to find a replacement guy, she usually won’t make all the moves to get him back.
Instead, she will focus on getting over her feelings for him and trying to move on with her life before he gives up and finds a new woman.
That way, he can be the one who is being left behind, not her.
So, if you want your ex to care that you’ve broken up, you need to make her care.
You need to take the lead in the ex back process and begin making her reconnect with her feelings for you by letting her experience the new and improved you every chance you get.
Don’t waste time waiting for her to give you some kind of sign that she cares, so you can then feel confident enough to make a move.
If you want her back, you need to make sure that in every interaction you have with her (especially when you’re talking to her over the phone, or meeting up with her in person), you make her feel some respect and sexual attraction for you again.
When you trigger feelings of respect and sexual attraction inside of her, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to keep telling herself that she doesn’t care that you’re broken up.
Her protective walls begin to come down and she opens herself up to the possibility of getting back together again.
Another way to make her care is to…
2. Approach interactions with her as though you’re just friends now, rather than trying to get her to care about a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship
Act like you just want to be friends with her and then use any interactions that you have with her as opportunities to re-attract her and reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Don’t push for a relationship.
Let her want it, so she seduces herself back into being with you naturally.
A common mistake that a lot of guy make is thinking that a woman should care that they have broken up because they were so in love before.
For example: A guy might say, “How can you not care about what we had together? We were so in love. We even talked about getting married and growing old together. How can you switch off your feelings like that and be so cold towards me? Have you forgotten what we used to have?”
He’s likely hoping she will say something like, “You’re right. Our love is something really special. The truth is, I’m only pretending not to care, because in reality, I care so, so much. I can’t eat or sleep properly because I’ve been constantly thinking about our perfect love. Let’s forget about what happened and get back together again.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if she said that?
Well, as wonderful as that would be, real life just isn’t the same as a scripted a Hollywood romantic movie.
In the real world, even if a woman talked about wanting to be together for life, she can change her mind if her man stops making her feel the kind of respect, attraction and love that keeps a relationship together.
It doesn’t matter if she said she wanted that before.
That was then and this is now.
A woman doesn’t have to stay with a guy just because she used to care about him in the past.
She will only stay with a guy who has the ability to maintain and build on her feelings over time.
So, rather than trying to convince your ex care about the relationship by bringing up your past feelings for each other and have her say things like, “No. It’s over between us,” or “Forget about it. I’ve already moved on and you need to do the same,” you have to get her to be more open to interacting with you, without having her guard up so high.
How can you do that?
By treating her like she’s a female friend who really likes you and is happy to see you.
Even if she acts like she’s not happy to see you, don’t let it get to you.
Remember: If she’s meeting up with you, she wants to see you.
She might act cold, rude or distant, but that’s either because she’s testing your confidence, or you’re trying to get a relationship before you’ve even re-attracted her.
By the way…
When you’re being her “friend,” I don’t mean that you should act like a nice, neutral friend and not make her feel sexually attracted to you.
You’re simply accepting a “friendship” with your ex as a way of keeping the channels of communication open, so that you can then reawaken her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
Remember: Don’t make the classic mistake of acting like just a friend when you’re being her friend (e.g. you don’t flirt with her, you fear joking around and making her feel attracted).
You’ve got to use your friendship with her as a stepping stone to making her reconnect with her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you again.
If you’re only being a nice friend, she’s not going to feel sexual and romantic attraction for you.
So, make sure that you do it right.
Make her experience rushes of sexual and romantic attraction for you when she interacts with you.
Then, when her feelings for you are reawakened, she will automatically start caring about you and the relationship again because it will feel good to her.
Another way to make her care is to…
3. Let her see that you are happy and emotionally independent now
When you’re missing your ex and feeling the pain of being broken up with, the idea of being happy and fulfilled without her might seem impossible or just something that you don’t even want to consider.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you want to make her feel emotionally attracted to you when you interact with her, so she actually feels compelled to give you another chance, you first have to reach the stage where you are happy and emotionally independent without her.
It’s totally fine to care about her and want her back, but you have to sincerely know that you don’t need her to feel good about yourself.
You have to know that you can get on with your life without her (e.g. go after your big goals in life, do all the things you’ve been putting off, hang out with friends and have lots of fun, find another woman) and everything would be totally fine.
Of course, you want her back and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
I’m here teaching you how to get her back, so clearly, I’m on your side.
However, you have to make sure that you don’t need her to give you another chance, so you can then feel good about yourself again.
If you need that, she will pick up on it and it will turn her off.
Where some guys go wrong is by trying to get an ex woman back by making her feel guilty for breaking his heart and leaving him behind in ruins.
For example: A guy might say to her, “Can’t you see how this is affecting me? You are my everything and now there’s no point to my life. Everything I did was for you. How can I go on from here? Can’t you see that I’m falling apart without you? How can you not even care that we’ve broken up? Where is your heart? How could you be so heartless and just turn your back on me?”
Yet, rather than make her feel sorry for him and think, “How sweet. My ex must really love me if he can’t get on with his life without me. Being a man’s purpose and reason for living is every girl’s dream. I think we should get back together again because no other guy will ever feel this way about me,” she, instead, feels turned off by his emotional weakness and dependence on her.
Instinctively, a woman knows that if a guy falls apart after a break up, he is probably going to struggle to handle the challenges of life as the years go on (e.g. climbing through the levels of life like a real man, maintaining a happy family, raising children, paying off a mortgage, dealing with challenging people at work).
A woman doesn’t want to find herself stuck with a guy that she has to carry through life, or constantly encourage so he doesn’t lose confidence in himself.
She wants to be with a man who always remains confident and emotionally strong no matter what happens to him in life.
So, if you want to make your ex care that you’ve broken up, focus on genuinely feeling happy, content and emotionally fulfilled without her.
Then, interact with her and let her pick up on it.
What you’ll find is that you have now automatically become more attractive to her and she can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you more and more.
Women are naturally attracted to men who feel happy and confident with or without their support, while also being able to make her feel good during an interaction too (i.e. by using humor, being confident and playful, creating a light hearted vibe).
Another way to make her care is to…
4. Make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you on a phone call, but don’t try to get her back right away
This makes her feel drawn to you and also feel a desire to be closer to you because you’re not trying to get anything from her.
You’ve made her feel what she wants to feel (i.e. respectful of you, attracted, feeling sparks of love), but you’re not even asking for another chance.
Instead of asking for another chance, you’re just asking for her to catch up with you to say hi.
She feels attracted and drawn to you, so she agrees.
When you catch up with her, you then need to focus on making her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you.
Don’t try to talk her into having a relationship with you right away.
Focus on breaking down the barriers she has put up to protect herself and make her feel attracted and feel good around you again.
By the way…
One of the best ways to do that is through using humor to create smiling and laughter.
When you make a woman laugh and smile, she simply cannot continue to feel defensive or closed off around you for very long.
Even if she tries to mess with your head by acting cold or distant towards you and by saying things like, “You need to leave me alone. I don’t love you anymore and I’m never going to love you again,” if you maintain your confidence and continue making her smile and laugh, eventually she will find herself feeling good and her walls will start crumbling down.
So, if you want to get your ex back, the best approach is to avoid getting too serious about a relationship too soon and instead focus on building her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you every time you interact with her.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is by not understanding that a relationship needs to have mutual respect, sexual attraction and love.
It’s not just about the guy loving, respecting and feeling attracted to a woman.
It has to be mutual for it to work.
If a guy only focuses on his reasons for wanting her back or tries to explain his feelings to her, a woman won’t feel motivated to get back with him, because the feelings just aren’t mutual.
So, don’t make the mistake of assuming that just because you love your ex and want her back, she’s going to feel the same way about you.
You’ve got to MAKE HER feel the same way as you do about her.