She will completely give up on the love if you can’t get her to reconnect with it.
The way to get her to reconnect with her original feelings of love for you is to focus on making her feel surges of respect and attraction for you whenever you interact with her from now on.
For example: Get her laughing and smiling, let her see that you’ve moved beyond the level that you were at when she broke up with you, give her the attraction experience she wants.
If she can see that you have already begun to change and as a result, her feelings for you are changing from negative to positive, then she will stop thinking that there’s no chance for you and her anymore.
You can change how she feels.
You can do it.
Convincing your ex to try again rather than giving up on your love is actually easier than you might think.
Right now, she might be saying, “It’s over. I just don’t feel like we can make things work anymore,” or “It’s time we faced the facts and realized we just aren’t meant to be together,” because she’s not feeling attracted to you at this point.
She doesn’t have feelings (e.g. respect, attraction and love) for you, so it feels easy for her to give up on the love that you have her have shared.
Since she doesn’t have much or any feelings for you anymore, she just doesn’t care; it doesn’t matter to her.
However, when you focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you every time you interact with her, she becomes more open to feeling that love again.
One of the best ways to start triggering her feelings again is by making her smile, laugh and feel happy when she interacts with you.
For example: Imagine you’re talking to your ex on the phone and she says something like, “Look. Let’s face it… what we had is gone. Our love is dead.”
A common reaction that a guy might have is to get upset and possibly even beg and plead with her.
He might say, “No, don’t say that. You know that our love is special. Why can’t you see that anymore? Don’t you remember how good things used to be between us? Why are you so willing to just give up and forget about everything we had? Sure we’ve had our problems but we can make this work. Don’t give up on our love like this. Please.”
Yet, even though he’s trying to reason with her, she’s usually going to say something like, “I know you mean well, but it’s just too late.”
Essentially what she’s saying is that she just doesn’t have feelings for him and that he doesn’t even know how to make her have feelings for him.
That’s why she’s not interested.
He’s just begging and pleading and trying to reason with her, going on and on about the same old things, but that’s not triggering her feelings for him.
It’s all about how he feels and what he wants, not about how she feels and what she wants.
He needs her back, but she’s just not feeling it.
On the other hand, if you ex says, “Look. Let’s face it… what we had is gone. Our love is dead,” you can use that as an opportunity to trigger some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
So, rather than get upset, you can jokingly say something like, “Okay, fine. I agree. Our love is dead. We can hate each other now. This will be good because I get to delete you off my birthday list. No more presents for you! That trip to Tahiti… gone! Those gold earrings you always wanted… gone! Wow! I feel better now… all that love stuff can be exhausting. I feel so much lighter without it. Please, let’s not get back together! Please give up on our love” and then have a laugh with her about it.
Saying something like that to her in a joking manner will take the seriousness away from the situation and it will likely make her smile.
She will then relax and be more open because she can see that you’re not pushing her to change her mind in a needy way.
Instead, you’re being a confident, emotionally strong, socially intelligent man who has the sense to joke around in a serious moment like that to ease the tension and bring things back to smiling, laughter and feelings of love.
When you do that, her guard comes down and before she realizes it, she’s feeling some positive emotions for you again.
She starts wondering, “Why am I smiling so much? I’m not supposed to be having so much fun. We’re broken up now, so I’ve got to stop smiling and laughing. Why does it feel so good talking to him again? What’s happening to me? Is this a sign that we should get back together? Maybe he is the one after all.”
On the other hand, if you say and do the types of things that turn her off (e.g. “Please give me another chance! Please don’t give up on our love! I need you in my life,”) she will just say something like, “No. It’s over. Just accept it.”
3 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Keep the Love Alive
Here are some rookie mistakes to avoid making when convincing your ex to try again, rather than give up on your love.
A lot of guys make these mistakes because they don’t really know what else to do, so make sure you read through the entire article to ensure that you understand the right way to approach her from now on.
Mistake #1 is…
1. Trying to convince her that the love is worth fighting for when she doesn’t even feel enough respect and attraction for you yet.
When a woman is saying, “I don’t think we can work things out,” a guy might then try to convince her that their love is worth fighting for by reminding her of what they had together.
For example: He might say, “I know that right now all you can think about is all the fighting and arguing we’ve been doing lately. I can see how that can make you feel like there’s nothing good between us anymore, but that’s just not true. Think about all the good things we’ve shared. Not everything is bad. In fact, I’d say we’ve had more good times than bad times together. Don’t make your decision based on a few fights. We had some great times and we can have more if we try again. Please don’t let our love die. We can make this work.”
Yet, even though what he is saying might be true and is fairly well said, a woman won’t feel the same way if she’s not feeling much (or any) respect and attraction for him at that point in time.
Instead, she will think something like, “Yes, we had some great times together. I’ll even go as far as saying they were the best times I ever had with a man. However, those times were mostly all at the beginning of our relationship when I still thought of you as the kind of guy I could look up to and respect. Sadly, you’re not that guy anymore. Now, all that I see is a guy who makes me cry and feel sad all the time. Why would I want to go back to that?”
In most cases, you can’t convince an ex not to give up on your love and to try again, simply by bringing up the good times that you shared together in the past.
When a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, the past really doesn’t matter to her anymore.
What matters to her is how he is making her feel now, not how he made her feel a long time ago.
So, if you want to convince your ex to try again, focus on making her feel surges of respect and attraction for you when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call, or in person).
She needs to feel attraction and respect for the man you are today, not be reminded of the guy that you used to be a long time ago.
2. Thinking that because you shared an amazing love, it means you are soul mates and have to be together for life.
As difficult as it may be to accept, the truth is that you cannot convince a woman to try again or to stay with you just because you were once in love.
Even if you and her talked about living happily ever after, it just doesn’t matter to a woman when she loses touch with her feelings for who you have become.
That was then and this is now.
If a woman no longer feels the same way, she doesn’t have to stay with a guy if she doesn’t want to.
In the past, a woman was considered to be her man’s property and breaking up or getting a divorce wasn’t even an option for her.
She had to stick by him for life whether she was happy or not.
However, in today’s world, a woman won’t stay with a man for long if he can’t maintain her feelings of respect, attraction and love (e.g. he becomes very insecure, treats her badly, takes her for granted, is controlling, stops trying to make her feel good).
These days, a relationship stays together when both people decide that they want to stay together because they feel good together, not because they used to be in love and said that they be a couple for life.
So, rather than trying to convince your ex to try again, you have to get her to reconnect with her old feelings of love first, by letting her experience surges of respect and attraction for the new and improved version of you.
For example: If a guy is needy and insecure, he needs to show her that he’s now confident and emotionally strong.
If he’s too nice, he needs to show her that he’s got the balls to stand up for himself and be a real man now.
If he’s unsure of what he wants from life, he needs to show her that he now has big ambitions, goals and a clear purpose and is starting to make progress.
When you interact with your ex and she experiences the new and improved you, her feelings automatically begin to change.
She starts to feel respect and attraction for you again and her guard comes down.
You don’t have to convince her to change her mind.
Instead, you only need to focus on using every interaction you have with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) to trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you, and she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love that she once felt.
When that happens, it’s up to you to take the lead and guide her back into a relationship with you.
3. Trying to make her feel guilty rather than focusing on making her feel respect, attraction and love.
Not knowing what else to do, a guy might try to make his ex feel guilty for not wanting to try again.
He might say something like, “How can you be so cold and heartless? Was the love that we shared really so meaningless to you? Were you even in love with me at all? What kind of person are you? After everything we’ve done together, are just going to walk away? Obviously our love meant more to me than it meant to you. I wish I could be as callous as you, but I can’t. I am a man of my word and when I said that I’d love you forever, I meant it. Obviously you were lying or you’re just an untrustworthy woman that I’ve waste all this time with. I hope you’re happy now!”
Although he’s likely just lashing out at her because he’s experiencing a lot of emotional pain from being rejected, it’s not going to help get her back.
Trying to make a woman feel guilty will rarely make her change her mind about breaking up.
Sometimes a woman will give a guy another chance temporarily, but she just dump him again when she realizes that nothing has changed and she doesn’t have to feel guilty anymore.
Yet, in most cases, rather than getting her back, his emotional outburst will cause her to lose even more respect and attraction for him because he is being so emotionally sensitive, unloving and insulting.
The only way that a woman will feel happy to try again is when the guy is able to quickly rebuild her feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. by being emotionally strong, making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine and girly in his presence).
So, if you really want to convince your ex to try again and not give up on your love, focus on making her feel respect and attraction for you again, rather than playing mind games with her by trying to make her feel guilty for leaving you.
When she’s feeling attracted to and respectful of the new and improved you, she will be happy to reconnect with her original feelings of love.
She will want to try again because it will feel good to her, not because she feels like you’re forcing her to.
Love Doesn’t Die
If you haven’t yet been able to convince your ex to try again and not give up on your love, it doesn’t mean that her love for you is dead.
Even if she’s actually saying, “My love for you is dead,” what she really means is that she doesn’t feel like she can love you right now.
It’s about how you are making her feel right now. It’s not about love. Love doesn’t die. It is always there in the background.
Her negative emotions of anger, resentment or betrayal have pushed the love into the background and she’s not willing to connect with it right now.
You can change that.
When you trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, it makes the negatives of her past with you seem less important.
She feels drawn to you again in a way that actually feels good, so reconnecting with the love happens naturally whether she likes it or not.
So, don’t bother trying to convince your ex to try again by begging, pleading and promising her that you’ll change if she gives you another chance, because those things only push the love further into the background.
Instead, focus on making her smile, laugh and feel happy when she’s interacting with you.
The happier she feels around you, the more respect and attraction she will feel and the faster the love will come rushing back into her heart.
She won’t be able to stop it from happening.