The most important thing that you need to do to get a woman back is to use any interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to make her feel respect, attraction and love for you again.
That is what counts.
When you’re triggering her feelings of respect for you, of attraction and of love once again, that is when she starts to have feelings for you and the idea of getting back together becomes her idea.
So, how do you do that?
How do you spark her feelings of respect and attraction and get her to reconnect with her old feelings of love for you?
The three examples I’m going to give you are via text, on a phone call, and in person.
1. Via Text
Via a text message, you can make her laugh and smile rather than feeling annoyed by you, or feeling suspicious of you because you’re pretending that you just want to be friends.
How do you make her laugh?
If your ex sends you a text message, for example, and she says, “Do you miss me?” How can you make her laugh in that moment? What can you say? What most guys would say in that moment is, “Yes. I miss you. Do you miss me too?” or he might try to lie and pretend and say that he doesn’t miss her.
Yet, you don’t need to lie to her or be boring and straightforward all the time.
You’ve got to remember that you have to use every interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to re-spark her feelings for you.
The way that I recommend you reply is something like this: She asks, “Do you miss me?” and you reply with, “Oh, I’m dying here. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I’ve lost 20 pounds. No. Only kidding. I’m fine. How are you? Missing me yet?”
Alternatively, if she asks, “Hey. How are you doing?” You can reply with, “Really bad. Lost 20 pounds. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. LOL. Just kidding. I’m doing well. How are you? Missing me yet?”
Can you see how that works?
Essentially what’s happening is that you’re making her feel attracted to you and happy to be interacting with you.
How are you making her feel attracted? You’re displaying confidence, you’re displaying emotional strength because you’re not being a emotional wuss and trying to seek pity from her and things like that and you have the social skills to be able to make her laugh in a moment like that.
In other words, you’re a man who has masculinity and you remain a masculine, confident man, even when you’re being challenged. You’re not the sort of guy who, when he’s challenged becomes afraid to say anything.
When trying to get a woman back, some guys are afraid to say anything that their ex-girlfriend might not like.
“Oh, what if she doesn’t like that? What if she gets angry?” Well, if a guy’s thinking like that, she is going to get angry. She is going to get annoyed. She is going to feel turned off by him because women aren’t attracted to wimpy, wussy behavior from men. It’s just not attractive.
One of the main things that women are attracted to about men is emotional strength. For example: High self-esteem, confidence and especially confidence when challenged or when in a difficult situation. You remain confident no matter what.
On the other hand, women are turned off by the emotional weakness in men. When a guy is emotionally weak and insecure, he will hesitate, doubt himself and won’t feel like a strong man to a woman.
When he’s being challenged by woman, he might feel afraid and thinks, “Okay. I’ve got to let her take control here. She’s got to be the one who’s in the dominant position.”
Yet, women don’t want that. Women don’t want a guy’s weakness and they don’t want to be in charge.
It may seem like if you try to take on any position of power, she’s going to shut you down and say, “Hey, never talk to me again,” but that’s just what she’s saying at the front.
What’s really going on behind the scenes, in a woman’s mind, is that she wants to be a man’s woman.
She doesn’t want to be a man’s boss, a man’s dominant woman, a man’s leader. She doesn’t want to be kicking you in the butt and pushing you around. She wants you to be able to stand up and be a man no matter what.
Being a man is not about being a man in an asshole type of way where you’re being rude to her or you’re being mean to her or anything like that. You simply have the balls to be confident, be funny, be loving and be flirtatious in moments where other guys would be afraid to say anything.
You have the confidence, the balls to actually make something happen between you and her.
You’re not hesitating and thinking, “I can’t say anything because she might get turned off. She might get angry. She might tell me to never contact her again. I’ve got to suck up to her and then she will give me another chance.”
If a guy has that type of thought process, his behavior, conversation and actions will turn his ex off because women aren’t attracted to insecurity and self-doubt in men. A woman wants you to believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her no matter what.
It’s not about believing in yourself in an arrogant way, but instead being a loving, confident man who guides you and her back into a relationship.
2. On the Phone
The next example is when you talk to her on the phone.
I understand that many guys who are trying to get their ex back can’t talk to their ex-girlfriend, fiance or wife on the phone because she’s blocked them, or she’s no longer answering their calls.
So, before I go on and give you the example of what to say on the phone, I’ll just point out that if you are in that position where your ex is no longer answering your phone calls or text messages and has blocked you, I provide all the techniques on how to get an ex back no matter what the situation is in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System.
It includes how to get her to unblock you from social media, to respond to a text message, to get on a phone call with you, and to meet up with you in person.
Okay, so now on to the example of when you do talk to her on the phone, what you can actually say.
I was talking to a phone coaching client recently and while we were talking, he said to me that he used to call up his girlfriend and say, “Hey, girlfriend” and she used to smile and laugh about that.
However, now that they’d broken up, she was being cold towards him on the phone, wasn’t really laughing or smiling or anything like that and was just being a bit distant and cold and uninterested.
So, I said, “Hey, hang on. You used to say, “Hey, girlfriend” to her,” so now you’ve got the perfect opportunity to make her smile and laugh and to ease the tension between you and her and make things a little bit more lighthearted.
In his case, I recommended that he call her up and say, “Hey, ex-girlfriend. What’s going on?” And that is going to get her to smile, maybe laugh, but at least she’s going to have a bit of a smile on her face.
What a smile and a laugh does is that it gets rid of negative tension and makes things a little bit more lighthearted, where don’t actually have to be so serious and deep and meaningful and careful when you talk to your ex-girlfriend or your fiance or wife.
Instead you can simply be confident and let your natural charisma come through. Be the man. Be the man who guides you and her back into feelings of love.
Don’t be the scared guy who is afraid to say something because he thinks it might piss her off. He thinks that she might say, “Hey, you can’t say that to me,” or whatever. You’ve got to be the stronger one when you’re getting a woman back.
3. In Person
The next example is when you meet up with your woman in person.
A common situation that happens when a guy meets up with his girl in person and he’s trying to get her back is that if he touches her, or if he goes to hug her, or if he gives her a compliment about her looks or whatever, she will say something like, “Oh, you know you can’t say that because we’re not together anymore,” or “You shouldn’t be sitting this close to me because we’re not together anymore.”
Something along those sorts of lines where she’ll put out some sort of rule where because they have broken up, they can’t laugh and smile together anymore, they can’t flirt with each other, he can’t touch her, they can’t hug, etc.
In a situation like that, what I recommend guys do is turn into something that both of you can laugh about so her random rules don’t get in the way of you getting back with her.
For example: If your ex is arriving to meet up and you say to her, “Look at you. You’re looking good today. Looking very sexy. I like the dress” and she says, “You can’t say that sort of thing. We’re broken up. Don’t say that sort of stuff to me.”
You can then turn that into something to laugh about together, but you can also use it as an opportunity to make her feel respect for you because you are the man, and you’re not going to crumble under her initial bit of pressure there. You’re stronger than that.
So say, for example, you’ve given her that compliment and she says, “You can’t be saying those sort of things. We’re broken up.”
What you can say in that moment is, “Oh, really? Okay. Well, hang on. I didn’t see the ex’s rule book. Okay, when an ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend interact with each other, there are no compliments…it’s just a coldhearted approach to each other. I’ve got to be a complete asshole to you. You’ve got to be a complete bitch to me. All right. Okay. I didn’t see that rule book. Give me a look at it. Have you got the book here? I want to read it. Let me see these rules about no niceness to be shown to each other. You can’t be giving compliments, especially about looks. It’s going to be just cold and distant. Yeah, alright…okay, give me a look at this book.”
Turn into a bit of a joke, something to laugh about, but also show her that, hey, you’re not going to be pushed around with that sort of crap. You’re a loving, confident man…and there’s nothing wrong with being a loving, confident, masculine man.
If you do want to get your ex back and there is a chance for you to get her back, regardless of what she’s saying at the front (e.g. “I just want to be friends” or “It’s too late”), what she’s going to respond to is you being the man and guiding both you and her back into feelings of love.
She isn’t going to get back into a relationship with you if you’re too afraid to say anything or do anything because it might come across the wrong way, or she might say something negative towards you, or it might be uncomfortable. You’ve got to be stronger than that.
When it comes to getting a woman back, a man needs to be stronger than the woman.
It’s not about being stronger in an asshole type of way where you’re saying, “Hey, I can do whatever I want” sort of thing. It’s about being strong in a loving way. You’re being a confident, loving, masculine man…and that is something that all women respond positively to.
Your ex might put on an act that she’s not responding positively to anything that you’re doing, but if you just show her a little bit of that loving masculinity where you’re just fearless with it, she is going to drop her guard.
She’s naturally going to start to feel respect and attraction for you and when you make your ex feel a lot of respect and attraction for you, she naturally starts to reconnect with the love that she used to have for you. Loving feelings come back. It feels good to be around you.
That’s what really counts when getting a woman back.
The Most Important Part of Getting a Woman Back
So to finish up here, I want to point out something very important for you.
What you really need to understand when you’re trying to get your ex back is that every time you interact with her, it has to be a positive.
You’ve got to be making her feel some level of respect and attraction for you. When that happens, she starts to reconnect with the love that she has for you.
She may say that she doesn’t love you anymore, but that’s not how love works. Love doesn’t actually die.
What happens with love is it just gets pushed into the background, but love can be reconnected with. But you can’t just go straight for love. It’s got to be respect and attraction and then she will start to reconnect with the love.
So what you need to do is make sure that every time you interact with her from now on, you use it as an opportunity to make her feel some level of respect and attraction for you. She will then naturally start to reconnect with the love.
However, if you continue on from this day forward, and you’re saying and doing things that make her lose respect for you, not feel attracted to you and feel turned off by you, then she’s not going to be wanting to get back with you.
She’s going to be feeling turned off and the love you shared is just going to be pushed into the background even further, and she won’t want anything to do with it, because she’s not attracted and drawn to you as a person at that point.
If you want to get your ex back, I recommend that you don’t waste anymore time ignoring her or waste anymore energy trying to convince her to take you back.
The way to get an ex back is to use any interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to make her feel some level of respect, attraction and love for you again. When you start to approach her in that way, you will see that she drops her guard, becomes open to interacting with you, and starts to have feelings for you again.