When a girlfriend stops talking to her boyfriend, it is usually because:
1. She wants to break up with him, but doesn’t have the courage to tell him.
Most women don’t like to directly tell a man that they want to break up and will either hint at it or simply stop talking to him for a while in the hope that he gets the hint that she wants to get out of the relationship.
This is why a lot of women will say things like, “I need some space,” or “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need to figure out what I really want in my life,” or “I just need a break from being in a relationship, but maybe we can get back together sometime in the future,” rather than have to face him and tell him it’s over.
A big reason why women do this is because instinctively they feel they need to physically protect themselves.
Even if a guy is really nice and sweet, a woman still fears that he might become angry or violent if she breaks up with him.
Another reason why women try to avoid directly break up with a guy is that she doesn’t want to be talked out of her decision, or worse, have to get into a whole explanation where she has to spell things out for him and tell him what he did wrong.
Having to explain where he is going wrong is unappealing to a woman because it makes her feel as though she has to mother him and teach him how to be a man in the relationship.
So, what should you do now that your girlfriend has stopped talking to you?
Regardless of whether your girlfriend is just temporarily angry at you or really does want to break up with you, the action you need to take is the same.
You have to make your girlfriend feel so much respect, attraction and love for you as a man that she cannot help herself from wanting to be with you.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
At the start of your relationship, you were clearly able to make her feel enough attraction to want to be with you, but if she has lost interest and isn’t talking to you, it usually means that she’s lost respect and attraction for you somewhere along the way.
You can change how she feels, but you have to be willing to make some changes to the way you interact with her.
For example: If you have become insecure, you need to start becoming emotionally stronger, otherwise she will lose even more interest in you.
Why? Women are attracted the emotional strength of men (e.g. confidence, self-esteem, determination to succeed) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, fear of failure).
You have to make sure that from now on, you focus on rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for you whenever you interact with her.
If you don’t do that, she will most likely break up with you and then it will be a whole different ball game where you will need to go through a process to get her back.
In case she does break up with you, make sure that you watch this video to understand some of the classic mistakes that guys make when a girlfriend breaks up with them and what you should do instead…
It used to be very difficult for a guy to get a girlfriend back, but thanks to the internet, men like me can help you through the process of fixing your problems with her, getting her respect and attraction back and keep the relationship together.
If you think that your situation is really bad, it’s probably nowhere near as bad as some of the marriages and long term relationships that I have helped get back together.
If those men can get their woman back (after decades of an unhappy relationship), believe me – you can easily get your girlfriend to talk to you again and want to stay with you in a relationship!
Another reason why a girlfriend will stop talking to her boyfriend is that…
2. They had a really bad fight and she’s still mad at him about it
Fights happen in every relationship, but sometimes things can really get out of hand and become nasty.
When a fight like that happens, a guy might get kicked out of the bedroom or be asked to sleep on the couch for a few days until everything gets ironed out.
Sometimes though, especially if the couple isn’t living together, a girlfriend might stop talking to him for a while because she doesn’t want to have to interact with him again and be made to feel angry, irritated or annoyed.
Naturally, if this type of fight happens regularly in a relationship, it may be a sign that there are deeper problems in the relationship (e.g. one person is a lot more mature than the other, she has too much power over him) and that she is beginning to lose respect and attraction for him as a man.
So, if you’re wondering what to do when your girlfriend stops talking to you in a situation like this, the answer is pretty clear: Start making an effort to fix the root causes of the problems in your relationship.
For example: If she is annoyed with you because you lack purpose in direction in life and only want to spend time with her, then you need to start focusing on your biggest goals and ambitions in life and making progress on them.
If she has stopped talking to you because you and her always fight, you need to force yourself to be more light-hearted about things and try to add more smiling and laughter into conversations with her.
If she isn’t talking to you because you have broken her trust, you need to apologize for that, tell her that it is possible for a guy to learn from a mistake and become a better man and then start showing her that you really have changed.
Another reason why a girlfriend might stop talking to her boyfriend is…
3. She’s testing to see how he will react if she’s not always available
Sometimes a woman might stop talking to her boyfriend to see how much power she can gain over him (e.g. will he start saying and doing whatever she wants in the hopes of getting to see her more?), or to see if he really cares about her (e.g. is he just with her for sex and a casual relationship, or is he truly committed to her?).
In most cases though, a woman will stop talking to her guy as a way to test his confidence in himself.
If she tests him and notices that instead of just remaining confident and relaxed about it, he becomes insecure, clingy and needy, she will then begin to question whether he is really the man she thought he was.
She will begin to feel worried that she is getting further involved with a man who lacks emotional maturity and needs her for his sense of identity and happiness in this world.
Guys like that usually lack purpose and direction in life and women instinctively know that a guy lacks that quality, he will almost always become clingy, insecure, protective and controlling later on in a relationship.
Women don’t always know that they want a guy who has purpose in life because most women don’t even know what their purpose is.
However, all women know that they don’t like it when a man becomes insecure in response to her pulling back some affection and interest.
For example: If a woman stops talking to her boyfriend and he panics and starts calling, texting and instant messaging her non stop, she might briefly feel pleased that she got him to fall all over himself for her, but when her smugness wears off, she will realize that she’s not as excited about having so power over him as she thought she would be.
In her mind, she will begin to see him as being a weak, confused guy and she will start to lose respect and attraction for him.
When that happens, she might decide to stop talking to him and spend more time with her friends or focusing on her work or studies because she doesn’t feel like being his girlfriend anymore.
Some Do’s and Don’ts to Get Your Girlfriend to Feel Respect and Attraction For You Again
In most cases, if a girlfriend stops talking to her boyfriend, it’s a simple case of her not feeling enough respect and attraction for him to want to stay in contact.
You can change how she feels about you by following these essential DOs and DON’Ts…
1. Don’t ask her why she’s not talking to you
A woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship where she has to teach a guy how to be a man that she can look up to, respect and feel excited to be in love with.
If you don’t already know what caused your girlfriend to stop talking to you, you have to figure it out before you contact her, otherwise she will feel as though you just aren’t ready to be in a relationship with a girl like her.
Rather than asking her to help you become the kind of man she needs, you need to work out where you’ve been going wrong and then start making changes to your behavior, conversation style and the way you treat her.
If you’re not sure where you’ve been going wrong, watch this video that I made for guys who’ve already been dumped by a woman…
Fixing your emotional issues (e.g. insecurity) and become a better man doesn’t mean that you have to become 100% perfect, but you at least need to show her that you really are changing.
If your girlfriend senses that you are either unwilling to change or are clueless about what she needs to you change, she’s not going to feel excited about talking to you again.
She just won’t want to continue investing time into a guy who hasn’t yet worked out how to be the man she (or any other woman) needs in a relationship.
2. Don’t bombard her with calls and text messages
When a girlfriend stops talking to her guy, it’s only natural that he might try to get in touch with her via text or a phone call and ask why.
However, bombarding her with phone calls, text messages and other forms of communication (e.g. Facebook messages, Whatsapp, e-mails, letters, etc) to ask her why she’s ignoring him usually only accomplishes two things:
- It tells her he still doesn’t have a clue what he has done wrong to make her stop talking to him.
- It makes her feel even less attracted to him because he is behaving in a needy way by sending so many messages.
No matter how desperate you are feeling right now, bombarding your girlfriend with unwanted attention will usually only result in her wanting to distance herself from you even more.
3. Don’t ignore her completely either
Although you shouldn’t bombard your girlfriend with calls and texts that are asking her to talk to you or to tell you what you did wrong, you shouldn’t completely ignore her either.
If you do ignore her (e.g. using the No Contact Rule), you will most-likely just give her the space to decide that she’s better off without you.
She might even go out with her girlfriends to party and meet and have sex with another guy and then start a new relationship with him instead of trying to fix her relationship with you.
So, rather than bombard her with needy, insecure communication, you need to simply call her up and shock her (in a good way) out of her current sate of mind.
First you need to apologize for your recent mistakes and explain that you have learnt from the experience and are making positive changes every day.
Next you need to get her laughing, smiling and enjoying the conversation with you, rather than sticking with a deep and meaningful conversation.
When she hears your apology and then begins to feel good talking to you over the phone (or in person), she will then start to believe that maybe you are changing and maybe it is possible for you and her to go back to the good old days when your relationship was amazing.
4. Do get on with your life in the meantime
If your girlfriend currently feels like she doesn’t respect you as a man, she will be actively looking for signs that support how she is thinking and feeling about you.
For example: If a woman breaks up with a guy because he lacks purpose in life and is afraid of reaching his true potential, she isn’t going to be impressed if she sees that he’s still stuck in the same old routine.
She will want to see that he is starting to set goals and make progress in life, so she can feel hopeful that he isn’t a loser in life and is instead a man that she can rely on now and in the long run to lead both himself and her to a better life over time.
Likewise, if a woman stops talking to a guy because she’s sick of how insecure and jealous he is, she’s not going to be impressed if that insecurity and jealousy keeps coming through in how he talks to her, treats her and behaves around her.
She will want to see that he has become more emotionally mature and secure and isn’t the same old needy, insecurity guy that she was feeling turned off by.
So, rather than sitting at home feeling sad and desperate, make sure that you get on with doing the things that you really enjoy doing in life.
Use her silent treatment as an opportunity to do some of the things that you couldn’t do when your girlfriend was around.
For example: Go on a road trip with your buddies, join that martial arts club you’ve been thinking about attending, hang out with your friends and go partying and enjoy yourself or get started on that important project that you’ve been putting off for a long time.
When she realizes that you’re lost and lonely without her (e.g. when she stops by your social media profile and checks you out), she will be the one contacting you.
5. Do fix your emotional issues and improve yourself
Remaining confident in your girlfriend’s attraction and commitment to you is an essential part of keeping a relationship together because without it, you will naturally become insecure over time and turn her off as a result.
When a guy lacks confidence in his girlfriend’s attraction for him, it will often lead to him developing a fear of her finding other guy’s attractive, which will cause him to become insecure, jealous or clingy.
He might realize that his insecurity is uncalled for and is ruining the relationship, but unless he starts believing in his attractiveness to her, he will find it difficult to hide his insecurity, especially when his girlfriend tests him by not calling or talking to him for a few days.
So, if your girlfriend has stopped talking to you, this is the perfect time for you to work on becoming truly confident in yourself, so that when you interact with your girlfriend again, she will notice that you’ve changed in a positive way and her respect and attraction for you will coming flooding back.
You don’t have to fix everything or be perfect to get your girlfriend to want to talk to you again, but she does need to see that you’ve taken her silence seriously and have been making a sincere effort to improve yourself.
6. Do make her feel more attracted to by being more confident, charismatic and masculine
When you first hooked up with your girlfriend, there must have been certain qualities that made her feel attracted to you enough to want to be in a relationship with you.
To get her talking to you again, you have to bring out and intensify those qualities even more, (e.g. be the confident, charismatic, masculine guy that she needs you to be).
When you make her feel respect and attraction for you in ways that she hasn’t experienced in a long time or has never experienced with you before, that is when she will be keen to talk to you and be around you.