When a girlfriend stops talking to her boyfriend, it’s usually because of one of the following:
1. She wants to break up with him, but doesn’t have the courage to tell him.
Most women don’t directly ask for a breakup and will either hint at it, or simply stop talking to their boyfriend for a while in the hope he understands that she is no longer interested.
This is why a lot of women say things like, “I need some space” or, “It’s not you, it’s me. I just need to figure out what I really want in my life” or, “I just need a break from being in a relationship, but maybe we can get back together sometime in the future,” rather than just saying that it’s over.
Women also use softer excuses like those because they instinctively feel the need to physically protect themselves during a breakup.
Even if a guy is really nice and sweet, a woman can still fear his potential to become angry or violent if she breaks up with him.
Another reason why women try to avoid directly breaking up with a guy is to not be talked out of her decision (e.g. He says, “Okay, I will change. Just give me another chance”), or have to explain everything and tell him what he did wrong.
Having to explain where he is going wrong is unappealing to a woman because it makes her feel like she has to mother, guide, mentor or teach him about how to be a man in a relationship.
She wants to be able to look up to her boyfriend, rather than look down on him as a lost, clueless or immature guy who needs her help on how to be a grown man in a relationship.
So, what should you do now that your girlfriend has stopped talking to you?
Regardless of whether your girlfriend is just temporarily angry at you, or really does want to break up with you, the action you need to take is the same.
You have to make her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you, so she naturally feels compelled to talk to you and interact with you again.
At the start of your relationship, you were clearly able to make her feel enough attraction to want to be with you.
Yet, if she has lost interest and isn’t talking to you, it usually means that she has lost a lot of respect and attraction for you somewhere along the way.
You can change how she feels, but you have to be willing to make some changes to the way you interact with her from now on.
For example: If you have become insecure, you need to start being emotionally stronger.
Why?
Women feel attracted to the emotional strengths of men (e.g. confidence, self-esteem, determination to succeed) and turned off emotional weaknesses (e.g. insecurity, self-doubt, fear of failure).
How about you?
What have you been doing lately, or for a while, which has caused her to lose respect and attraction for you?
Another reason why a girlfriend will stop talking to her boyfriend…
2. They had a really bad fight and she’s still mad at him about it
Fights happen in every relationship, but sometimes things can really get out of hand and become nasty.
When a fight like that happens, a guy might get kicked out of the bedroom, or be asked to sleep on the couch for a few days until everything gets ironed out.
Alternatively, if the couple isn’t living together, a girlfriend might stop talking to her boyfriend for a while because she doesn’t want to have to interact with him again and be made to feel angry, irritated or annoyed.
If those types of fights happen regularly in a relationship, it can be a sign that there are deeper problems in the relationship (e.g. one person is a lot more mature than the other, she has too much power over him).
If those problems aren’t fixed, a breakup will almost certainly happen.
So, if you’re wondering what to do when your girlfriend stops talking to you in a situation like this, the answer is pretty clear: Start making an effort to fix the root causes of problems in your relationship.
For example: If she is annoyed with you because you lack purpose or direction in life and only want to spend time with her, then you need to start focusing on your biggest goals and ambitions in life and making progress on them.
If she has stopped talking to you because you and her always fight and argue, you need to be more light-hearted about things from now on and try to add humor into conversations, so both of you can smile, laugh and feel good around each other more often.
If she isn’t talking to you because you have broken her trust, you need to apologize, tell her that it is possible for a guy to learn from a mistake and become a better man and then start showing her that you really have changed.
Another reason why a girlfriend might stop talking to her boyfriend is…
3. She’s testing to see how he will react if she’s not always available
Sometimes a woman might stop talking to her boyfriend to see how much power she can gain over him (e.g. will he start saying and doing whatever she wants in the hopes of getting to see her more?), or to see if he really cares about her (e.g. is he just with her for sex and a casual relationship, or is he truly committed to her?).
In most cases though, a woman will stop talking to her guy as a way to test his confidence.
If he becomes insecure, clingy and needy as a result of her not talking to him, she will begin to lose faith in his ability to be a strong, stable, reliable man who can handle the challenges of life and keep her protected and safe along the way.
She will also start to worry about wasting more of her youthful attractiveness on a guy who probably won’t turn out to be the one.
So, how should you react?
Don’t ignore her and wait for her to come running back and don’t contact her too often either.
Just give her a few days of space, then contact her, re-attract her (based on the changes in you. Let her experience those changes as you talk to her, rather than trying to explain it all to her) and get the relationship back together.
Some Do’s and Don’ts to Get Your Girlfriend to Feel Respect and Attraction For You Again
1. Don’t ask her why she’s not talking to you
A woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship where she has to teach a guy how to be a man that she can look up to, respect and feel excited to be in love with.
If you don’t already know what caused your girlfriend to stop talking to you, you have to figure it out before you contact her, otherwise she will feel as though you just aren’t ready to be in a relationship with a girl like her.
Work out where you’ve been going wrong and then start making changes to your behavior, conversation style and the way you treat her.
If you’re not sure where you’ve been going wrong, watch this video that I made for guys who’ve already been dumped by a woman…
Fixing your emotional issues (e.g. insecurity) and becoming a better man doesn’t mean that you have to be 100% perfect, but you at least need to show her that you really are changing and have improved already.
If she senses that you are unwilling to change, or are clueless about what she needs to you change, she will feel compelled to continue ignoring you and trying to move on from the relationship.
2. Don’t bombard her with calls and text messages
When a woman stops talking to her boyfriend, it’s only natural that he might try to get in touch with her via text, or a phone call and ask why.
That’s fine.
Yet, if he bombards her with phone calls, text messages and other forms of communication (e.g. Facebook messages, Whatsapp, e-mails, letters, etc) to ask her why she’s ignoring him, it usually ends up accomplishing two things:
- It tells her that he still doesn’t have a clue what he has done wrong to make her stop talking to him.
- It makes her feel even less attracted to him because he is behaving in a needy way by sending so many messages.
So, no matter how desperate you are feeling right now, don’t send her loads of texts.
Focus on preparing to re-attract her and then, after giving her a few days of space, contact her, re-attract her and get her back.
If she contacts you prior to then, reply and get on a call and then meet up in person.
Don’t waste time playing too hard to get.
Just get her back and make the relationship better, while you still can.
3. Don’t completely ignore her
Although you shouldn’t bombard your girlfriend with calls and texts to ask her what you did wrong, you shouldn’t completely ignore her either.
If you do ignore her (e.g. using the No Contact Rule), she may end up deciding to just move on without you.
She might even go out with her girlfriends to party and then meet and have sex with another guy who she really likes.
She might then start a relationship with him, rather than trying to fix her relationship with you.
4. Do get on with your life in the meantime
If your girlfriend currently feels like she can’t respect you, she will be actively looking for signs to support it.
For example: If a woman breaks up with a guy because he lacks purpose in life and is afraid of reaching his true potential, she isn’t going to be impressed if she sees that he’s still stuck in the same old routines.
She will want to see that he is starting to set goals and make progress in life, so she can feel hopeful that he won’t be a loser in life and instead, could end up being a man that she can rely on now and in the long run to lead both himself and her to a better life over time.
Likewise, if a woman stops talking to a guy because she’s sick of how insecure and jealous he is, she’s not going to be impressed if that insecurity and jealousy keeps coming through in how he talks to her, treats her and behaves around her.
She will want to see that he has become more emotionally mature and secure and isn’t the same needy, insecure guy that she was feeling turned off by.
So, rather than sitting at home feeling sad and desperate, make sure that you get on with doing the things that you really enjoy doing in life.
Use her silent treatment as an opportunity to do some of the things that you couldn’t do when she was around.
For example: Go on a road trip with your buddies, join that martial arts club you’ve been thinking about attending, hang out with your friends and go partying and enjoy yourself, or get started on an important project that you’ve been putting off for a long time.
When she realizes that you’re not lost and lonely without her (e.g. when she stops by your social media profile and checks you out), she will be the one contacting you.
5. Do fix your emotional issues and improve yourself
A guy’s emotional issues are often the main cause of a breakup in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
For example: If a guy lacks confidence in his girlfriend’s attraction for him, he may develop a fear of her finding other guys attractive, which will then cause him to behave in an insecure, jealous or clingy way in the relationship.
He might realize that his insecurity is ruining the relationship, but unless he starts believing in his attractiveness to her, he will find it difficult to hide his insecurity.
Since women are turned off by insecurity and emotional weakness, she will then begin to pull away, which will make him feel even more insecure, clingy and needy.
She will then feel even more turned off and may end up getting to the point where she just stops talking to him, as a way of potentially moving on from the relationship.
So, if your girlfriend has stopped talking to you, now is the perfect time to fix the emotional issues that have been damaging your relationship with her (e.g. insecurity, fear of expressing love, being emotionally selfish).
You don’t have to fix everything or be perfect to get your girlfriend to want to talk to you again, but she will need to see that you’ve taken her silence seriously and have been making a sincere effort to improve yourself since she stopped talking to you.
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