Here are 3 essential tips to get your ex to kiss you:
1. Make sure that you activate sparks of sexual and romantic attraction when you interact with her
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she usually disconnects from her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for him and goes cold, or becomes emotionally distant.
This is why you have to reactivate her feelings for you first, otherwise, she just won’t feel like kissing you.
At the beginning of your relationship with her, she most likely felt a lot of sexual and romantic attraction, but over time, those feelings were replaced with more negative emotions (e.g. anger, annoyance, disappointment, frustration), so she stopped feeling drawn to you.
So, if you want to get your ex to kiss you, you have to start by reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings for you, so it feels right for her to be seduced into kissing you, having sex with you and getting into a relationship with you again.
Make her feel the way the way she did when she first fell in love with you (e.g. ‘butterflies’ in her stomach, blushing, wanting you to touch her, feeling turned on, feeling excited about the sparks flying back between you and her, wanting to be around you).
How can you do that?
One great way to do it is to use ballsy humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to be interacting with you again.
The more laughter you can share together, the less she is able to hold onto any negative feelings she might still have about you.
Then, rather than think things like, “This feels so awkward. I just shouldn’t be here. Maybe we had something between us before, but there’s no spark between us anymore,” she will be thinking things like, “Wow! This feels so good. I can’t believe that I’m feeling attracted to him again like this. It almost feels like it did when we first met.”
She then relaxes her guard and opens herself up to seeing where things go from there (i.e. a hug, kiss, sex and back into a relationship with you again).
You’re talking to her in person and she says, “So, how have you been?” and you jokingly respond by saying, “Sorry, I can’t reveal that information to you. I don’t want to hurt your feelings” and then have a laugh.
When she presses for more information, you can say, “Just kidding…I was eating [insert her favorite food] yesterday and it was so delicious. I felt bad because you would have loved it. It was the best [her favorite food] I’ve eaten in a long time.”
Initially, she most-likely would have thought you said that you “didn’t want to hurt her feelings” because you were seeing a new woman, but you then turned it into a joke by saying that you were eating her favorite kind of food and it was extra delicious.
Many guys don’t have the balls to mess with their ex woman like that because they are afraid that she’ll get angry, or not want to talk to him anymore.
So, it takes balls to mess with her in a playful way as you talk to her.
Women are attracted to guys who have the balls to be like that, especially when the woman is acting emotionally distant or playing hard to get.
If you have the courage to playfully mess with her, it will create sparks of attraction inside of her and she will naturally begin to feel drawn to you and be more open to hugging, kissing and potentially even having sex.
Of course, there’s a lot more to re-attracting an ex than just creating a spark with some humor, but it’s a start.
You’ve got to create a spark and get the attraction flowing inside of her.
The next tip is to…
2. Build on her attraction by creating sexual tension
To get your ex to the point where she’s yearning for you to kiss her, it’s important than you create and build up some sexual tension between you and her first.
You can do that over the course of a few minutes, or even hours if you want to, as you interact with her.
How long it takes depends on how good you are at making her feel attracted and how high her guard is up around you.
If her guard is up, you will need to bring it down by displaying confidence, being charismatic and making her laugh around you.
If her guard is down, you just need to create a spark of attraction, build on it for a few minutes and she will naturally be yearning for you to touch her, hug her or kiss her.
So, how can you build up sexual tension?
First you need to understand that sexual tension rises when a man and a woman feel attracted to each other, but there is something blocking them from kissing or having sex (e.g. they’re ex’s and are unsure if they should, they work together and have to be professional).
So, to build up sexual tension, start by flirting with her and making her laugh during a conversation and then go back to interacting in a normal, friendly matter.
Then, once you sense things have calmed down between you, flirt with her again and then relax back into ordinary conversation once more.
The tension will build up and she will want you to keep going back to the flirting and attractive style of conversation.
She will also want to kiss you or at least hug you, or she will be hoping that you make the moves to kiss her or hug her.
So, imagine this…
Imagine that you and your ex are sitting at a quiet table in a corner of a coffee shop.
You’ve been chatting to her for about 10 minutes and the tension is building up between you.
You then take her hand in yours and touch your lips very lightly to her wrist and whisper something like, “Hmmm…I know that we’re broken up and all, but you smell so good. Your skin is nice and soft too” and then give her wrist a light kiss and let go of her hand.
She’ll most likely blush and feel flattered, or she will act like she didn’t enjoy it because she’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to show so much interest so quickly.
Regardless of how she reacts, just relax, lean back and continue on with whatever it was you and her were discussing before (e.g. “By the way… when are your exams starting?” or, “By the way…how’s things going at work now that your old boss left?”).
After a few minutes of normal conversation, you can then look deeply into her eyes say something along the lines of, “You know… you still have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. I just love the way they light up when you’re smiling…there it is…just like you’re doing right now.”
Then, once again pull back and continue talking about other things.
By this stage, she will naturally be feeling rushes of sexual desire for you and will be thinking things like, “Why am I feeling so drawn to him all of a sudden? Would it be wrong for us to hook up? Why am I thinking about what it would be like if he kissed me, or if we had sex? I need to stop this! He’s my ex. I shouldn’t be thinking this way about him, but I just can’t help it! I want him again. This is going to be fun.”
She then hopes that you make a move to sit next to her, hug her or move in for a kiss.
In some cases, some women will just get up and sit next to their ex guy, or if she is sitting next to him already, she will cuddle into him and hope that he kisses her.
Alternatively, some women will get close to their ex, look him in the eyes and then move into start kissing him.
It really depends on the woman.
If you think that your ex is a going to be a bit shy or reluctant to make the first move, then make sure that you don’t chicken out when the opportunity presents itself in front of you.
You can do it, so make a move, kiss her and get her back.
By the way…
Don’t be like one of those guys who think, “I wouldn’t be able to do any of that. Besides, what if I try to flirt with her and she gets angry and storms out, or slaps me? Not only will I miss out on getting her to kiss me, she might even decide not to see me again and then I’ll lose her forever. So, I have to play it safe. I have to just talk to her as a friend and be nice.”
No, no, no.
You have to make her feel sexual and romantic attraction for you, based on the approach that you are using during the interactions you have with her.
You have to create a spark, build on it and get to a kiss and then sex.
You can’t achieve that by just being neutral or nice.
You have to have the courage to create a spark and make it happen.
If you just approach her in a neutral or nice way, she almost certainly won’t feel a spark for you and the distance between you and her will remain.
So, don’t be so serious about everything.
Relax, be confident, flirt and create some sexual tension between you and her, so she naturally has a strong desire to be kissed by you, or to even move in for a kiss herself.
The next tip for getting your ex to kiss you, is to…
3. Hug her for a few seconds, pull back, look her in the eyes, wait a couple of seconds and then kiss her
If you’ve built up enough sexual tension between you and your ex, then she is almost certainly going to be open to a hug.
Hugging allows some of the built up sexual tension to be released as you hold each other.
It doesn’t get rid of it, but it allows some of it to be used to feel good as you hug each other.
So, after you’ve flirted with her a little bit, lean towards her and say, “Hey – chatting again is kind of fun, isn’t it?” and let her agree.
Then, say something like, “I think you deserve a hug for being such a cool ex. Come here and give me a hug” and lean in to make the hug happen.
Then, hug her, give her a warm, firm squeeze and hold her in your arms for a few seconds.
Then, pull back, look into her eyes (in a confident, relaxed manner) and smile.
If you have been making her feel attracted prior to that moment, she will probably lean in for the kiss.
If she doesn’t lean in because she wants you to do it, or because she is afraid of giving you too much power in the interaction, don’t be afraid to lean in a couple of inches and let her close the distance and kiss you, or lean in and when you see that she isn’t moving away, close the distance, meet her lips and begin to kiss.
4 Mistakes That Some Guys Make When Trying to Get a Kiss From an Ex
To avoid getting rejected when you try to get a kiss from your ex, be sure to avoid the following mistakes:
1. Being neutral and expecting her to want to kiss
Sometimes a guy doesn’t want to come across as being too forward with his ex woman, so he will act like just a friend.
Instead of flirting with her and building up sexual tension, he spends the entire time pretending he’s not interested in anything other than being her nice, neutral friend.
She then feels nothing or close to nothing for him, in terms of sexual and romantic attraction, so she has no desire to want to get to a kiss.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to get your ex to kiss you, you can’t pretend to be her neutral friend and then expect it to happen.
She’s got to know for sure that you’re attracted to her in a sexual, romantic way and that you’re open to being with her in that way.
So, don’t act like Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Plain or Mr. Neutral around her.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should be sexually aggressive and come on too strong, because that may cause her to clam up and feel the need to reject you.
Instead, what you need to do is focus on making her experience sexual and romantic feelings for you as you talk to her, so she naturally feels the desire to get to a hug, kiss and potentially sex after that.
The next mistake is…
2. Asking her if she wants to kiss
In life, whenever you ask for something, you always stand the chance of getting a “No.”
So, if you don’t want to hear your ex say, “No” to your request to kiss her, then don’t make the mistake of asking permission to kiss her.
Here’s the thing…
Not only is being asked for a kiss not romantic for most women because it suggests that the guy isn’t attracted enough to her, to want to just grab her in his arms and kiss her, but it also makes him appear as insecure and self-doubting, which is unattractive.
So, if things are going well with your ex (i.e. you’ve been sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you), don’t blow it by asking her if you can kiss her.
Just do it.
If she’s not ready to kiss you, she will turn her cheek or say, “No,” and you can then respect that.
Alternatively, you can laugh and say, “Oh, well, I guess I read your signals wrong. I thought you wanted to rip my clothes off and jump on for a ride” and then have a laugh with her about that.
If saying something like that is a bit too much for you, then you really need to man up and stop worrying so much about how women will react.
Remember: If you fear her reaction, she won’t feel attraction.
Women are naturally attracted to good men, who have the balls to say and do what they want around them.
This doesn’t mean you should be bad to women, rude, mean, selfish or anything like that.
It means that you should be the good man that you are, but also have the balls to say whatever you want, without worrying about how she is going to react.
If you are only joking, then you have nothing to worry about.
If she can’t take the joke (most of the time she will just be pretending to be offended), then you can turn it back on her by laughing (important! Don’t forget to laugh), smile and jokingly saying, “You take things too seriously girl. You need to lighten up. You’re way too sensitive” and then have a laugh with her about that.
If you’re not confident enough to jokingly talk to a woman like that, then you’re always going to struggle to make women respect you.
Remember: If you fear her reaction, she won’t feel attraction.
Be a good man, but don’t hold back from playfully messing with a woman because you fear her potential reaction.
The same rule applies to kissing her.
If she wants to kiss and you then fearfully ask for her permission, she will almost certainly lose respect for you for not having the balls to take the initiative and just do it.
As a result, she will probably reject your kiss or say something like, “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea” because your self-doubt turned her off.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Having stressful conversations about the relationship and then expecting a kiss
When seeing your ex again, it might be tempting to want to have a detailed, emotional conversation about what happened between you and her in the relationship.
For example: A guy might say, “I’m so sorry for hurting you. I know I stuffed things up between us, but I really have changed and I’m not like that anymore. I was so selfish and just cared about myself, but I now know that being like that is wrong. You deserved so much better from me. I would always get angry at you and expect you to just put up with it. I never really cared about how you felt and I’m sorry. I believe that we can work things out between us if you give me a chance to prove myself to you. I still love you and believe that you and I are so right for each other. Yes, we had some problems, but I know that it’s nothing we can’t resolve if we really wanted to. So, how do you feel about us trying again? Would you be willing to give it a go? Will you give me a chance to prove to you that I can make happy now?”
Here’s the thing though…
Getting into stressful conversations about the relationship isn’t the way to create feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her.
Instead of feeling excited and turned on, she feels annoyed, stressed and frustrated and starts to focus on all the things about that you she didn’t like when in a relationship, rather than on the things she does like about you.
If you’re talking to her in person, she then starts to think things like, “This meet up was a bad idea. I thought we might have had a chance to work things out, but now I realize there’s too much baggage between us to be able to have an actual relationship again. I have to move on. It’s over.”
If you don’t want your ex to be thinking like that, avoid getting into serious, stressful conversations about the relationship.
Instead, just focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be around you again.
The more relaxed and attracted she feels when she’s with you, the less she will remember the things about you that turned her off in the past.
Her guard will come down and she will then open up to hugging you, kissing you and potentially having sex with you again.
The next mistake to avoid is…
4. Turning her off by appearing nervous, tense and unsure
Women can easily notice and sense nervousness and self-doubt in men and it’s a huge turn off.
This is why you need to make sure that you feel completely confident in yourself when around her.
You need to know how to attract her again and believe that it’s working, otherwise, you might end up doubting yourself and missing out on a great opportunity to kiss her and get her back.
Here’s the thing…
Women don’t like having to reward emotional weakness with kissing, sex and love because they are instinctively programmed to be attracted to and reward emotional strength in men.
If your ex senses that you are unsure about yourself, she will naturally close herself off and possibly decide there and then, that it’s time for her to find another man.
So, when you meet up with your ex, focus on having confident thoughts about yourself and your value and attractiveness to her.
Imagine her wanting to kiss you because you are a confident, emotionally strong, emotionally masculine man.
When you believe in yourself, she will sense it (via your body language and the tonality of your voice) and she will automatically feel respect and attraction.
As a result, she will naturally want to kiss you.