So, how can you get your ex back and never lose her again?
It’s one thing to get a woman back after a breakup, but keeping her is a different story.
How can you make sure that once you get your ex back, you and her don’t break up again, she wants to stay with you, she wants to stick with you, she’s in love with you and only wants to be with you?
1. Prepare to attract her in the ways that will make the difference
When some guys are trying to get their ex back, they are offering her things that she’s really not that interested in.
She doesn’t find it attractive. She doesn’t find it inspiring and motivating and it doesn’t make her want to get back with him and kiss him and hug him and never want to leave him again.
So, if you’re going to get her back and keep her once you get her back, you need to make sure that you are prepared to attract her in the ways that will make the real difference.
For example: If you make the mistake of turning the relationship into a friendship, then you really need to make sure that when you interact with her from now on, she feels a sexual and romantic spark with you.
If you became insecure in the relationship, then you really need to make sure that you are prepared to be totally confident around her.
This means that if she’s testing your confidence by acting difficult or being indifferent around you, you need to be prepared for that.
You can’t become insecure and let her see that you just don’t have the confidence that she’s looking for in a man.
If you took her for granted, then you need to allow her to see that you are more of a balanced man now.
You’re not going overboard by showering her with gifts and being super nice to her all of a sudden because that would be desperate.
Instead, you are more of a balanced man now.
She can see that.
She can sense it.
She knows that if she were to get back with you again, you’re not going to take her for granted.
You’ve learned your lesson, you have become a better man as a result and you are now a more balanced man.
Another example, if you became emotionally sensitive in the relationship.
You need to make sure that you are emotionally strong now.
Nothing affects you and makes you start to doubt yourself and feel like life is unfair or she’s being unfair or it’s just all too difficult.
You are so strong that you are emotionally bulletproof.
Nothing that she says or anyone else says makes you doubt yourself and feel insecure.
You don’t need her to be nice to you and reassure you in order for you to feel good about yourself. You’re emotionally strong no matter what.
Another example: If you weren’t affectionate enough in the relationship, then you need to be a more balanced man.
It’s not about going overboard and being super affectionate and coming across as desperate. You just need to be more balanced.
Finally, another example: If you were too clingy.
In that case, you need to stop being so emotionally dependent on her.
You need to be following through on your big dreams, goals and ambitions in life rather than putting too much focus on her.
So, those were some examples of what I mean by preparing to attract her in the ways that will make a difference.
For example: If you turned the relationship into more of a friendship and then you started offering to be nicer to her, to take her on holidays and vacations, to listen more and things like that, it’s not going to make the difference.
That’s not what she’s looking for.
You’ve got to find out exactly where you were going wrong with her and get things back into balance.
If you were being too much of a friend around her, being too neutral and there wasn’t really much of a spark, then you need to focus on making her feel that spark when she interacts with you, whether that’s via text, on the phone, via social media or in person.
She needs to be able to feel a spark of romantic and sexual attraction for you.
That is what’s going to make her realize and believe that things will be different now.
You don’t have to promise it to her, you don’t have to say “Hey, things will be different, I promise. It’s going to be different this time. I’m going to do this and do that.”
You don’t even need to tell her.
When you interact with her, she can already sense it; she’s picking it up.
She can sense the changes in you.
She can see it.
More importantly, she can feel it.
She feels differently around you now.
When you interact with her, sparks fly.
She feels respect for you, she feels attraction and she feels love.
She wants to hug you, she wants to kiss you, she wants to be close with you. That is what is going to make the difference.
2. Start the ex back process
When it comes to getting an ex back, so many guys make the mistake of just cutting off all contact and waiting around.
A guy hopes that if he stays out of her life, she’s going to realize what a great guy he was and she’s going to come back to him.
Yet, what I’ve seen by helping guys to get women back for many, many years now is that cutting off contact and just waiting around doesn’t work in approximately 95% of cases.
Why?
There’s no attraction.
In the 5% of cases where a woman still feels attracted to her ex-guy and she just can’t deal with the pain of not having him in her life, then cutting off contact and waiting around will work.
She’ll be sitting around and missing him and she won’t be able to move on. She’ll think, “I’m just going to get back with him because I can’t deal with his pain.”
Yet, in 95% of ex back cases, that just doesn’t apply.
The woman doesn’t feel attracted to the guy anymore.
He turned her off, she broke up with him and she’s moving on.
She might feel a little bit of pain and a little bit of regret that she got into a relationship that broke up, but when she thinks about it, she’ll realize that she doesn’t feel attracted to him, she doesn’t really respect him and she’s not in love with him anymore so there’s no point getting back together.
On the other hand, when a guy doesn’t sit around wasting time cutting off contact and just hoping that she comes back and he does something else instead, then things change.
What does he do?
He interacts with her and actively creates a spark with her.
He actively makes her have feelings for him again.
He makes her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
When she interacts with him, she feels something.
She feels respect, she feels attraction and she feels love.
All of a sudden, she starts to think, “Why am I feeling so drawn to him? I thought that I was over him. I thought that we were finished, but now it feels like there’s something there between him and I. Why am I feeling drawn to him all of a sudden? Why do I want to hug him? Why do I want to be in his arms again? Why am I imagining kissing him? Why am I thinking about us having sex again? Why am I worried about losing him all of a sudden?”
The reason why is that the guy actively made her have feelings again.
When she broke up with him, she was over it.
She was turned off by him, she was no longer attracted to him, she no longer respected him and she had fallen out of love with him.
So, if a guy then just cuts off contact and hopes that she would change her mind, what I’ve found is that in approximately 95% of cases, she doesn’t change her mind.
She doesn’t come back and get into a relationship with him.
What I’ve found is that sometimes a woman will contact the guy and she will just send him a text or contact him out of the blue because she’s curious.
She wants to see if he has moved on or if he’s just sitting around missing her and hoping that she changes her mind.
Yet, that doesn’t get her back.
It might get her to contact him, but if he’s not even prepared to make her feel a spark, then he doesn’t get her back.
What I’ve seen is that in most cases where a guy doesn’t go through the ex back process and instead just sits around hoping that she’ll contact him and want him back, is that the woman either gets over him and moves on and gets into another relationship.
Alternatively, the guy loses so much confidence in himself because he’s sitting around worrying all the time that when she eventually does contact him, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
He’s nervous, he’s anxious, he’s being super nice to her, he’s been hesitant and cautious with his words and she feels turned off.
She feels turned off by his lack of confidence.
He doesn’t have the balls at that moment to say something a little bit daring to joke around with her, to make her feel a spark, so the interaction feels awkward and boring and tense, then she just moves on.
What I recommend is that, if you want to get your woman back, it’s fine to give her a little bit of space.
What I’ve found is that 3 to 7 days is enough because it proves the point.
When you stop contacting your ex for 3 days or for a week, it shows her that you’re not being needy and desperate and bombarding her with text and phone calls. You’re in control of your emotions.
So, when you don’t contact her for 3 to 7 days, she then sees that, okay, things have calmed down.
You’re not being desperate, you’re not being needy and clingy and being a pain in the butt.
You are giving her space.
Then what you need to do is interact with her and create a spark.
Actively make her have feelings for you again and guide her through the ex back process.
3. Re-attract her
When it comes to re-attracting an ex, unfortunately, a lot of guys make mistakes with that as well and they end up losing their chance with a woman who would have otherwise given them a chance and gotten back into a relationship.
Here are some examples:
1. Being too neutral.
2. Overacting when trying to seem fine without her.
3. Using obvious tricks like texting her about good memories.
So, with being too neutral, a guy will talk to his ex-woman and there won’t be much of a spark there.
He’ll just be talking to her as though she’s a coworker or she’s a neutral friend.
There’s no sexual spark between them.
He might be afraid to be talking to her in a way that would suggest they are attracted to each other because he doesn’t want to get rejected by her.
She’s already dumped him and said no to giving him another chance so he feels a little bit unworthy of her.
He hesitates, he loses confidence in himself.
That’s not going to work.
You can’t be neutral and expect a woman to be excited.
You’ve got to create a spark if you want her to feel that excitement and feel drawn to you.
The other example is overacting when trying to seem fine without her.
This is a bit of a newbie mistake because if you think about it, it seems like a good idea to act like you don’t care about her anymore and your life is just so amazing without her in it.
So, some guys will make the mistake of talking about how happy they are since the breakup, that the breakup was the best thing that ever happened to them and they’re just so happy and enjoying life so much now that they’re not in a relationship anymore.
Now, the mistake there is going overboard with it because it causes a woman to think, “Oh, really? You’re really that happy without me. Okay. Well, I’ll show you.”
Then she goes and hooks up with a guy or she stops replying to your texts or she says no when you want to try and catch up with her and so on.
Women do respond well when they see their ex happy and enjoying life without them, but when he goes overboard and tries to be vindictive and manipulative by rubbing it in her face by what he says, then it’s a different story.
It doesn’t make her feel attracted.
Instead, it makes her want to get revenge.
The other example is using obvious tricks like texting her about good memories.
As you would most likely agree, women aren’t stupid.
Well, there are some stupid women, of course and we men are the superior species.
No, let’s just get real here.
Men and women are pretty much equal when it comes to intelligence.
So, when a guy uses really obvious manipulative tricks like texting her about good memories, then women see right through it.
If a woman doesn’t feel respect, attraction and love for her ex-guy anymore, then she’s going to look at his texts in a negative way.
For example: If a guy was being insecure leading up to the breakup, during the breakup and after the breakup, then a woman is most likely going to be remembering him as being insecure.
If he was being clingy and needy, then she’s most likely going to remember him in that way.
So, if he doesn’t do anything to make her feel attracted to the new and improved him before he sends her a text about a good memory, how do you think she’s going to look at it?
She’s going to be thinking that he’s just trying to use tricks on her, he’s trying to manipulate her, he’s trying to get her to remember the good times because there haven’t been good times for a long, long time.
All she can remember is him being insecure and clingy and needy.
Now he’s sending her a text about good memories, so she’s most likely going to think about it in a negative way.
She’s going to imagine him lying in bed alone, feeling all lonely and missing her, thinking about the good times and then sending her a text about it.
She assumes that he’s most likely totally in love with her and missing her like crazy.
When she looks at the text, she doesn’t think, “Wow, I’ve got to get back with him because we had some good memories.”
Women aren’t stupid.
She’s most likely going to be focused on what she experienced with him leading up to the breakup, during the breakup and after the breakup.
He hasn’t done anything change her perception of him yet, so a text about a good memory will usually just be seen as a cheap shot to make her feel something.
What he needs to do is to be able to create a spark with her when he interacts with her, rather than just hoping that bringing up a good memory will make her want him back.
If she was turned off by him leading up to the break up, during the break up and after the break up, she’s not going to be turned on by him simply as a result of him bringing up a good memory.
If he wants her to change how she feels, he needs to be able to let her see for herself that things are different.
Whenever she interacts with him, she feels differently now.
She feels sparks of respect and attraction and love for who he has become since the break up.
She smiles, she laughs and she enjoys being around him.
That is what counts.
4. Get her back by giving her a next level attraction experience
So, if you want to get your ex back and never lose her, you need to be prepared to give her a next level attraction experience.
If you kind of made her feel happy in the relationship, then this time around you need to make sure that she feels really happy.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you need to do so much more work and you need to put in so much more effort. Women aren’t happy when a guy essentially becomes their slave and is doing everything for her. Initially, a woman might take that and use a guy for it, but it’s not what makes a woman truly happy.
What makes a woman truly happy is when you make her feel so much respect, attraction and love for who you are as a man that she wants to be a good woman for you.
She wants to do nice things for you, she wants to give you a massage, she wants to cook for you, she wants to be sweet, warm and loving to make you happy.
That’s what makes a woman really happy.
It’s not what women will necessarily go around and admit because they will be embarrassed about that, but if you notice the women who are the happiest with their men, you will see.
She is doing good things for him, she’s being a good woman for him, she gets happiness out of being a good woman for him.
So, when I say that this time around you need to make her so much happier and this time around you need to give her a next level attraction experience, it doesn’t mean that you have to put in more work.
It just means that you have to approach attraction, respect and love differently.
5. Deepen her feelings by continuing to improve your ability to be attractive
An example of this is where a guy is a good guy and his woman does love him, but he lacks emotional masculinity.
He just doesn’t have that emotional toughness about him.
As a result, his woman will lose interest in him over time.
If she finds that, generally speaking, she’s more emotionally tough than him or he is too emotionally sensitive, it’s going to wear on her.
She may put up with it initially when the relationship is new and she’s enjoying having sex with him and going out on dates with him and enjoying the start of a relationship.
However, over time, she’ll start to withdraw.
She’ll start to feel like she’s not truly in love with him.
She might love him as a person, but she’s just not going to feel like she’s in love with him.
He lacks that emotional masculinity.
He lacks that emotional toughness of a man.
Of course, he may have been like that at the start of the relationship which most guys are able to do, but he most likely lost his way which most guys do.
The reason why is that a woman will often be a lot easier at the start.
She’ll be more forgiving, more attentive, more gentle and nice at the start of a relationship.
Then she’ll start to pour on the tests.
She’ll test his confidence, she’ll test his will, she’ll test his emotional toughness and if he fails and starts becoming emotionally weak or insecure or unstable, then she starts to lose interest.
So, when you get your ex back, you need to make sure that you are focused on deepening her feelings for you by continuing to improve your ability to be attractive to her.
You have to become and be the man that she wants to stay with.
This doesn’t mean that you have to put in loads of work and bow at her feet and do everything for her.
That’s not the approach that I teach.
It’s about being the sort of man that she can look up to and respect, she can feel attracted to and she can be totally in love with, not just love as a person and kind of feel okay with.
It’s not about a guy worshipping the ground she walks on, bowing at her feet, doing everything for her and putting in loads more work into the relationship than she does.
Instead, it’s about being in a position of power.
You are still a good man, you still treat her well, but you are in the position of power.
She gains pleasure and happiness by treating you well.
It makes her happy to be a good woman for you.
That is the type of relationship dynamic that lasts.
When you see a woman who’s happy for life, she’s with a man that she can look up to and respect, she feels attracted to and she’s in love with.
Learn More?
I hope this video has helped you and if you need more help to get your ex-woman back, I recommend that you watch my program Get Your Ex Back Super System.
It’s 10 hours of video and when you watch the program, you will learn exactly what to say and do to get her back and keep her.
The ex back process that you will learn is about making her have strong feelings for you again, making her want the relationship so much and then getting her back and keeping her in a relationship.
You Can Get Her Back
One final point that I want to make for you is that it’s actually very common for relationships to break up, get back together and stay together.
So many relationships out there in the world go through a breakup or two, sometimes even three and get back together.
The ones that work are where the man understands where he has been going wrong, makes some adjustments and then starts giving her the attraction experience that she really wants.
He does that, rather than giving her the attraction experience that he thinks should make her happy (e.g. being a neutral good guy, doing loads of things for her, sucking up to her, letting her have her way all the time).
He changes his approach to her.
He starts being the sort of man that she can look up to and respect.
She starts feeling like a girl again around him, which is what women really want to feel.
Again, they won’t necessarily go around saying that because they’re embarrassed to admit how they really want to be in a relationship, but just have a look at the women who are the happiest, the women who look at their man with loving eyes, the women who cuddle into their man’s arm.
It’s the women who have a man who is in the position of power, who is being a man that she can look up to and respect, feel attracted to and be totally in love with for life.
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