If you want to make your ex suddenly show interest in you again, do these 3 things…
1. Interact With Her On a Phone Call, or in Person, to Reactivate Her Feelings
When a woman is being cold, distant and saying things like, “I’m just not interested in getting back together with you,” it might seem like there’s nothing you can do to change her mind.
Yet, you can.
When you actively re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she can’t stop herself from dropping her guard and opening herself up to the idea of maybe getting back together again.
No matter how much she tries to fight it, if you’re always there (e.g. on the phone, or meeting up with her in person) and are making her smile, laugh and feel nice to be around you, she can’t help but see you in a different, more positive light.
Think about it this way…
In most cases, a guy stops interacting with a woman after a break up because he’s feeling bad and he doesn’t know what to say to her to get her back.
He might think, “If I give her a bit of space, she will hopefully stop feeling so angry/hurt/annoyed with me and then, when I eventually contact her she will be more open to getting back together again.”
That approach has only work in about 20% of the ex back cases that I’ve seen.
In other words, it has an 80% failure rate!
When a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, not hearing from him or not seeing him for a long time doesn’t change how she thinks about him.
Rather than make her think, “I wonder what my ex is up to? I really miss him so much. Who cares that he turned me off so much near the end! I want him back” it will usually cause her to dwell on the negative aspects of her relationship with him and make her want to continue moving on without him.
On the other hand, if a guy makes a point of interacting with his ex on a phone call and in person to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, her feelings for him will naturally and automatically being to change.
Rather than sitting around waiting for her to change her mind about him on her own, he’s actively replacing her negative memories with new, happy memories and thoughts about him.
If you want to make your ex suddenly show interest in you again, don’t sit around hoping that she does all the work for you.
You have to be the one who takes the lead and reactivates her feelings of respect and attraction for you during interactions.
Get her on a phone call with you right away and focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again.
Then, get her to meet up with you in person where she can see for herself that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.
For example: You can do that by…
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your presence, rather than making her feel neutral (like a friend) or worse, masculine (like she is more dominant than you).
- Showing her that you clearly understand her reasons for breaking up with you and have taken steps towards changing those things about yourself (e.g. if you were insecure and needy, you’re now emotionally strong, if you lacked purpose and direction in your life, you now have goals and you’re working towards achieving them).
- Remaining confident and emotionally masculine around her, even though she’s being cold and aloof and is saying things like, “You’re just wasting your time. I’m just not interested in you anymore.”
When you successfully flick her feelings of respect and attraction back on, she won’t be able to stop herself from showing interest in you again.
Secretly she may be thinking, “I can’t believe he’s really my ex. I know I said that I was never going to get back with him, but I can’t help feeling curious about him now. He’s so different now. As weird and crazy as it might sound to my friends or family, I can actually see myself being with him again now. Who cares what they think! I want to give him another chance.”
That’s what you want to happen.
Yet, it 80% of the ex back cases I’ve seen and worked on with clients, it ONLY happens if you actively make the woman have feelings for you again.
You have to call her on the phone and then meet up with her in person to properly reactivate her feelings.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is by thinking, “It’s probably better to break the ice with my ex by sending her texts, e-mails or social media messages. That way she won’t feel like I’m trying to push her into getting back together again. Then over time, she will hopefully soften up, open up and then I’ll call her when she’s really interested.”
Yet, a woman will rarely text her ex to say, “We’ve been texting back and forth for a while now and I suddenly realized that I miss you. Can we get together for some coffee? I really want to see you. Please call me!!!”
Regardless of whether she’s dying to see her ex or not, a woman doesn’t want to make it too easy for him to get her back.
She instinctively wants to wait to see if he has the confidence and balls to make the ex back process happen, or if he’s too afraid of rejection to risk going through the process.
So, rather than helping him through the ex back process, she will usually just be cold and distant.
He might then react by getting angry, losing confidence in himself, begging her for another chance or just completely ignoring her and hoping that she suddenly calls him and helps him through the ex back process.
For that reason, if you want to make you ex suddenly show interest in you again, you can’t just sit around hiding behind texts and hoping she will eventually say, “Okay, I’m interested now. Let’s meet up!!!”
It just doesn’t work that way in 80% of the ex back cases that I’ve seen and worked on.
When a woman finally dumps a man (after giving him plenty of warnings), she’s usually completely turned off by him.
So, unless he reactivates her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him, she is just going to continue moving on without him.
As the man, it’s up to you to take the lead and to guide both you and her back into a relationship.
Don’t make the classic ex back mistake of hiding behind texts in the hope that she will do all the work for you.
Just pick up the phone and talk to her in person.
On the phone call, focus on saying and doing the types of things that will spark her feelings for you (rather than saying and doing the types of things that caused her to break up with you) and then get her to meet up with you in person.
When she meets up with you and sees for herself that you’re no longer thinking, talking or behaving in the way she remembers, she will naturally and automatically begin to feel interested in you again.
- She’s expecting you to be nervous and insecure but now you are more confident and emotionally strong now.
- She’s expecting you to be extra nice and do whatever she says, but now you are more ballsy and you stand up to her
- She’s expecting to feel like your mother or sister or like just a friend, but instead she feels feminine and girly in your presence now, which turns her on.
When she has a different experience during interactions with you, her feelings will naturally and automatically change.
You then simply have to continue guiding her through the ex back process and she will be yours once again.
Another example of how to make your ex suddenly show interest in you again, is to…
2. Let Her See That You Are Emotionally Independent Now, But Don’t Rub it in Her Face
There’s nothing wrong with feeling like you miss your ex sometimes and that you want her back.
You may even say things like, “I miss having her around. I wish she was here with me now,” or “I hate lying in this big bed by myself. It seems so empty without her. I just want to hug her again, kiss her and have sex with her. Even just going to the movies again would be nice…or cuddling up on the couch to watch one of our favorite TV shows together. Ahh, I miss her…”
Missing her is normal.
Wanting her back is normal.
Yet, feeling like you can’t be happy in your life without her is a problem.
It’s a turn off to her. Women hate it when a man is dependent on her for his feelings of happiness, self worth and identity in this world.
On the other hand, women love it when a man cares about her and loves her, but is happy with or without her.
So, rather than sitting around thinking about how bad you’re feeling right now, a better way to make yourself more attractive to her, is to become emotionally independent without her.
Basically what that means is that you focus on getting on with your life, even though you would ALSO like to get back together with her.
For example: Rather than wasting a lot of time thinking about how much you miss her, you can channel that energy into making progress on your big goals and dreams in life.
Additionally, you can do some of the things that you’ve always wanted to do but have been putting off (e.g. go traveling, take up a new hobby, go to university, start a martial arts class).
The more you focus on becoming a more fulfilled and interesting man without her, the more likely it is that when you interact with her she will feel some or a lot of interest in the new, improved you.
Yet, if you just sit around missing her and not caring about your life without her, she will pick up on your neediness when you interact with her and it will turn her off.
For example: Sometimes a guy might say to himself, “I feel terrible without her. Why should I pretend that I’m okay when I’m not? I’m not going to hide my pain. Then, when she sees how badly I’m hurting, she will realize just how much I really love her and she will feel guilty for breaking up with me.”
He might then appear sad, lost or lonely when posting on social media (if he posts at all) by posting up solo photos, quotes about being sad or rants about how much life sucks when you’ve been dumped.
He might also try to seek pity from others (and hope that she sees it, feels sorry for him and contacts him) by posting things like, “Stuff in traffic after another long, boring day at the office. Just trying to make it home so that I can crash on the couch and watch some TV. I hate my life!” or “Feeling lousy today. Another weekend sitting around at home doing nothing.”
On the other hand, if he doesn’t post anything on social media at all, his ex will check his profile and assume that he’s is lonely and is just sitting around miss her.
She may then think, “Clearly nothing about my ex has changed. He’s still the same needy, insecure guy I broke up with. It looks like I made the right decision to break up with him. There’s absolutely nothing happening in his life without me…I’m so glad I got away from him while I can. What a needy guy…what a mistake it was to be with him” and she then tries to move on even faster without him.
So, if you want to make your ex suddenly show interest in you again, it’s important that you show her that you’ve moved beyond the level you were at when she broke up with you, rather than staying the same and hoping she will just feel sorry for you and change her mind.
Remember: Becoming emotionally independent is not something you’re doing to impress your ex into getting back together with you.
You are doing it for yourself.
If she asks you, “Why are you (going for the promotion at work, taking a martial arts class, hanging out with new friends) all of a sudden?” just say, “Life moves on. You know that I love you, but I don’t see any point sitting around waiting for you if you don’t want me back. So, I’m getting on with my life.”
She will then feel a slight pain of being rejected, mixed in with feeling respect and attraction for the fact that you have the emotional strength to get on with your life even though she isn’t a part of it any more.
By the way…
Just make sure that you don’t rub your happiness in her face.
If you make the mistake of bragging about how happy and confident you are now or how good your life is without her, it will backfire.
Just be relaxed and easy-going about it. Don’t make a big deal out of it.
Remember that you are doing all these new, fun, interesting things because it’s the best thing for you to do for YOU.
Don’t do it because you hope it will impress her or hurt her.
Just do it because you have realized that it’s important to live a balanced life as a man, rather than having all of your attention focused on your relationship with a woman.
Although women will rarely, if ever, admit it, they actually want a man who is emotionally independent of them and who would be happy with or without them.
So, make sure that you get into that mindset ASAP.
Then, when you interact with your ex and she sees for herself that even though you want her back, you don’t need her back to feel happy and fulfilled in your life, she will begin to feel respect and attraction for you again, which will then make her show interest in you.
3. Make Her Laugh, Smile and Feel Good When She’s Interacting With You
One of the best ways to diffuse a tense situation is with laughter.
According to science, laughter decreases stress hormones in the body and triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural “feel good” chemicals.
When you make your ex laugh and smile during an interaction, it makes it very difficult for her to continue feeling angry or indifferent towards you because she is feeling good.
Smiles and laughter are also a good way to heal the pain, anger and resentment that your ex might be feeling towards you right now.
By making every interaction between you and her a happy experience from now on, you will be actively triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for you and making the negatives of your relationship seem less important to her.
When that happens, she will naturally stop trying to avoid you and instead allows herself to show interest in you again.
So, don’t waste your time trying to convince your ex to give you another chance by making some (or all!) of the classic ex back mistakes that guys make.
- Begging and pleading with her to give him another chance.
- Trying to convince her by telling her how much he cares.
- Being extra nice to her in the hopes that she will change her mind.
- Giving her a long list of reasons why they should be together.
- Promising her that he will change.
- Ignoring her for 30 to 60 days in the hopes that she will miss him and come running back.
Instead, use every interaction you have with her to erase her old, negative, painful memories and replace them with new, happy memories by making her laugh and smile.
For example: Imagine you’re talking to your ex on the phone and she asks you something like, “So what have you been doing since we broke up?” as a way of testing to see if you’ve been missing her.
The usual (non-attractive) response would be to say something like, “Oh, you know… I’ve been busy with work and hanging out with my friends. What about you?”
Yet, that reply isn’t going to make her laugh or smile and make her want to stay on the phone with you for very long.
So, a better way to respond to her question, “So what have you been doing since we broke up?” would be to say in a joking way, “I’ve been eating. I ordered all those pizzas you would never let me eat when we were together and I haven’t stopped yet for the last week. It’s starting to become a bit of a problem though because I can’t fit through the front door anymore, so I’m stuck in the house eating takeout pizza. You’re going to have to come rescue me and put me on one of your health food diets or else I might explode! The walls will then be covered with pizza and guts as wallpaper.”
She will most likely say something like “Aaaah! Gross! That sounds terrible,” and she will have a laugh with you about it.
When she laughs, it takes her mind off what happened in the past and she starts to see you in a new light.
She then drops her guard and becomes more open to feeling positive emotions such as respect, attraction and love for you again.
Making Her Show Interest in You Again and Then Getting Her Back
When you started off wondering how to make your ex suddenly show interest in you again, you were probably thinking, “If she’s not interested, is it even possible to make her change how she feels?”
Yet, something you may not have realized is that people change their feelings ALL the time.
Think about a time in your life when you might have disliked someone, yet, when they changed the way they interacted with you, you suddenly found yourself thinking, “Hey, this person is not so bad after all. I actually like them now!”
In the same way, when you change the way you interact with your ex and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, it’s only natural that her feelings for you will change too.
Once you make her have feelings for you again, her heart will fill up with new, exciting emotions and she will feel drawn to you.
You then simply need to guide her through the final steps of the ex back process, until she’s back in your arms and feeling happy to be with you again.