The only way to prove to your ex that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with, is to interact with her on a phone call or in person and let her experience it.
1. If You Were Insecure Before, Let Her Experience Your Confidence Now
Actions speak louder than words, so don’t bother trying to prove to your ex that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with by saying something like, “I’ve really changed. I promise you I’m not the guy you remember anymore. I’m not insecure anymore” because she usually won’t believe you.
So, what should you do instead?
Show her by the way you think, what you say, your behavior and the way you respond to what she says and does.
She will pick up on the changes automatically without you even having to tell her.
It’s like how you can pick up on the fact that someone is shy, insecure or nervous when talking to you, compared to when they are confident, emotionally strong and at ease when talking to you.
They don’t have to tell you; you just know it.
By the way…
If you appear to be confident all of a sudden, she will test you to make sure that you really have changed.
For example: A woman might test a guy by playing hard to get, or by being cold and distant towards him.
She might say something like, “I don’t know if I could ever get back together with you. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore,” or “Why are you bothering me? It’s over between us” or, “Get a life. Leave me alone” or, “I made a mistake by being with you.”
A guy who is only pretending to be more confident will usually give himself away by getting upset, or appearing to be hurt (via his body language, change in vibe, eye contact) when she treats him that way.
She then knows that nothing has changed about him and will say something like, “Look, this just isn’t going to work out. Let’s forget about it and move on. I’m really not interested in getting back together with you. You have to move on.”
She is saying that based on how she feels about him in the moment.
He’s turning her off, so she sees no reason to give him another chance.
On the other hand, if she tests him and he uses his confidence to get her laughing and smiling, she begins to say to herself, “He is no longer the same guy that I broke up with. He really has changed. Maybe we can get back together again after all.”
So how do you turn a serious statement like, “I don’t know if I could ever get back together with you. I just don’t have feelings for you anymore,” into something to make her smile and laugh about?
By using humor to turn her words against her.
For example: If your ex says something like that, you can respond by saying something along the lines of, “You know, you’re right. I could never get back together with you again either. It would be a complete mistake.”
She might get a little bit surprised or even annoyed or upset with you for agreeing with her and she may then say, “Right, I’m glad you agree,” or “Good. At least we’re on the same page.”
You can then say in a joking way, “Well, it’s not that I don’t think you’re great or anything like that, because I do, but I really don’t think I could handle being in a car with you again. I mean, you’re a terrible driver. Every time you drive, I see my life flashing before my eyes! It’s like being in a car with a blind person driving. You’re all over the place. Driving up onto the sidewalk, crashing into trees, driving over pedestrians…it’s like being on an amusement park ride. So, yes – you’re right, I don’t think I could ever get back together with you. Well, at least not until you improve your driving…”
At this point, she will most likely be smiling or laughing along.
She will then begin to think, “This is what I always wanted. A guy who is confident enough to handle me and put me back in my place, even when I’m being a bit of a bitch to him. Now I really do believe that he’s no longer the same guy I broke up with. He’s not the same insecure that I dumped. Something really has changed about him…and I like it.”
Essentially, when you don’t lose confidence in your attractiveness to her when she tests you, she notices it and everything changes for the better from there.
She drops her guard and opens herself up to the idea of getting back together again, because she can see you really are different now.
Another way to prove to your ex that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with is…
2. If You Lacked Purpose Before, You’re Now Making Progress Towards Your Big Goals and Ambitions in Life
Most women like the idea of being with a man who has some kind of purpose and direction in his life.
He doesn’t need to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, a famous surgeon or lawyer, or a successful entrepreneur to impress her.
Instead, he simply needs to have some long term goals and dreams in his life that he is making progress towards achieving, independent of his relationship with her.
Why is this important?
Even though most modern women are independent and can take care of themselves physically and financially, they still like the idea of being with a man they can look up to, depend on and who makes them feel protected and safe in a relationship.
So, the thought of being with a guy who lacks purpose, has no ambitions, is drifting through his life and using his relationship with her as an excuse to hide behind, makes a woman feel unsafe, uncertain and uneasy about her future.
As a result, her respect and attraction for him begins to decline and she starts wishing that she could attract a man who actually has big goals and is making progress towards them.
Another reason why is that most women don’t want to be a man’s sole purpose in life.
Of course, a woman does want to be with a guy who is loving, caring and devoted to her, but she also wants him to be his own man, with his own dreams and goals.
When a guy makes his woman his purpose and focuses all his energy and attention on her, she begins to think, “Why is he smothering me like this? Doesn’t he get it that women find that a turn off? He’s driving me crazy with his clingy, needy behavior. At first I thought he was sweet when he was so attentive and devoted to me, but now I can’t seem breathe anymore. I realize that the reason he’s stuck to me like glue is that he’s got nothing else going on in his life besides me. He’s going nowhere and is dragging me along with him. This is not the way I imagined my relationship to be. I want out. I’ve got to find a real man who will make me feel safe about our future together, rather than living in fear that my life is going to turn out to be a big, fat mess because I’m with a guy who is afraid to reach for his true potential.”
So, if you lacked purpose in life during your relationship with your ex, you need to quickly get to the point where you have a life purpose, goals and interests that are separate from your relationship with her.
This will allow you to feel as though you are happy with or without her, which is actually very attractive to women (especially ex’s).
A woman wants to see that you love her and want to be with her, but you’re not relying on her for your sense of identity in this world.
You are your own man and are making progress towards big goals that are important to you, even if she doesn’t encourage or support you.
If you can start doing that, you will be able to truly prove to your ex that she has lost a great man and is missing out.
When you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) she will sense that you are now your own man and don’t need her in your life to feel fulfilled and happy.
However, don’t brag to her about that to make her feel bad or to hopefully impress her.
For example: A guy might say to his ex, “I just want to tell you that I’ve really changed this time. You always wanted me to do something with my life… well I got myself a new job and I’m already working towards my next promotion. I’ve also started taking night classes to learn Spanish, so that I can take that trip to Argentina I always talked about but never got around to. I’m no longer the guy you broke up with. What do you think of me now?”
Women hate that.
A woman does not want you to do things in your life to hopefully get a pat on the head from her.
If you take that approach, then you’re not your own man.
Instead, you are her little puppy dog trying to do tricks to impress her.
She wants a man that she can look up to and respect (a man who is his own man), not a puppy dog that needs her and is constantly trying to suck up to her.
Women hate it when an ex tells her all about his changes and expects her to say something like, “Wow, I’m so proud of you. Aren’t you a good little boy? Well done! I want you back now.”
She wants him to be a great man because he wants to be a great man, not because he might get a pat on the head from her.
So, don’t tell your ex how much you’ve changed to get her approval.
Instead, just say it because you are sincere in your motivation to succeed and are genuinely happy about the progress you are making.
She will sense that you are genuinely happy and getting on with your life based on how you talk, behave and react to her.
When she notices the changes, she will begin letting go of her negative feelings for you and start feeling attracted to you again.
Another way to prove to her that you really have changed is…
3. If You Weren’t Giving Her the Attraction Experience She Wanted Before, You Are Now
One of the main reasons why a woman might break up with a guy is because he doesn’t make her feel the way she secretly wants to feel in the relationship with him.
For example: Some guys get dumped for lacking the emotional masculinity to make the woman feel girly and feminine.
A guy might stop treating his woman like a feminine, sexy woman and start treating her more like a neutral friend.
He might even say or think things like, “It’s so great to have a woman who likes to do guy stuff with me, rather than all that girly stuff women like so much. She’s like one of the guys.”
Here’s the thing though…
Even though a woman might genuinely enjoy doing guy stuff with her boyfriend (fiancé or husband), she still doesn’t want to be treated like a guy all the time.
She wants to feel feminine, girly and like she’s a sexy, attractive woman.
If the guy fails to make her feel like that, she will eventually start to lose interest when she realizes that her guy simply doesn’t know how to give her the attraction experience she wants.
She will then begin to want to flirt with other men to see how attracted they are to her, so she can feel feminine, girly and sexy again.
In some cases, this then leads to the woman cheating and leaving her man.
Anther way that a guy makes a woman feel less girly and feminine is by falling into the habit of taking on the less dominant role in the relationship.
This often happens because the guy believes it’s what will make his woman the happiest.
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a woman feels more dominant in the relationship than her man, she cannot fully relax and be a feminine woman around him.
She might then say things like, “I’m tired of making all the decisions around here. Why don’t you man up and take charge?” in the hopes that he will change.
However, if the guy doesn’t pick up on her suggestions, she will eventually lose too much respect and attraction for him to justify staying in the relationship and she will break up with him.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that a woman wants a domineering man to boss her around and tell her what to do.
It simply means that she wants a man who is emotionally stronger than her, so she can look up to him and respect him, which then gives her the opportunity to relax into feeling like a real woman (i.e. feminine and girly).
It doesn’t matter if she makes some decisions at times.
What she wants is a man who is comfortable, willing and happy to take on the more dominant, leading role in the relationship.
If he can’t do that, she will dump him and try to find a man who can.
She may put up with it for months, years or even a decade, but she definitely won’t be happy and will usually be open to cheating or having an affair as a way of getting out of the relationship.
Another example of not giving a woman the attraction experience she wants is where a guy takes his woman for granted (e.g. treats her badly, doesn’t care about her feelings, expects her to put up with his insecure behavior), which makes her feel unloved and unappreciated.
To prove to her that he’s no longer the same guy she broke up with, he needs to show her that he knows that he’s made a mistake and then educate her on the fact that it’s okay to make mistakes in a relationship sometimes.
He needs to get her to understand that for a couple to stay together for life, they both need to love each other patiently and continually forgive each other for making minor mistakes that can be fixed along the way.
At the end of the day, a guy taking his woman for granted is not the end of the world.
It’s not a good thing to do, but it’s not rare either.
So many men do it and women know that.
It’s not what a man should do, but it’s not the end of the world either, so it doesn’t mean the relationship has to end.
He can change his ways and she can forgive him.
Once he has explained that to her, he needs to focus on re-attracting her.
He needs to use every interaction he has with her from then on (especially over the phone and in person), as an opportunity to rebuild her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him again by showing her (via the way he talks, thinks, behaves and interacts with her) that he really has changed.
So, if you want to prove to your ex that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with, you need to fully understand what it was that she wanted in the relationship with you that you weren’t giving her (e.g. she wanted to feel feminine and girly but felt more like a friend, she wanted you to be more confident and emotionally strong, but you were insecure and needy, she wanted you to have a purpose in life, but you used the relationship with her to hide from your true potential) and quickly change that.
Then, when you interact with her, let your actions speak for themselves by allowing her to experience the new and improved version of you.
Don’t Tell Her That You’ve Changed, Let Her Experience it For Herself
Sometimes, when a guy desperately wants to prove to his ex that he’s no longer the guy she broke up with, he might try to convince her by saying things like, “Please listen to me. I’m really not that guy anymore. I’ve really changed. Just give me another chance and I’ll prove it to you.”
Yet, a woman will rarely change her mind based on explanations that are designed to convince her to feel a certain way.
The only way that a woman will truly believe that you really have changed is when she experiences it for herself when you interact with her.
If the majority of your behavior, communication and attitude or vibe is turning her off, then she’s not going to feel drawn to you and will keep saying things like, “I just don’t believe you’ve really changed. It’s over. You need to accept that. I don’t want to be with you anymore. Please leave me alone.”
On the other hand, if every time you interact with her, you focus on letting her experience the new you, she will instinctively feel attracted because she’s experiencing the changes in you first hand.
When that happens, she just won’t be able to stop herself from dropping her guard and opening herself up to spending more time interacting with you, to see if what she is experiencing is real, or just an act that you’re putting on to get her back.
This is why it’s so important to change for real.
If you were insecure, you’ve got to fix that.
You don’t have to become perfect and have absolutely no more insecurity, but you do need to be a lot better.
That way, you will be able to continue attracting her and getting her to fully reconnect with her love for you as the relationship continues.