As long as you are willing to start being mature from now on, you can get her to forgive your past mistakes and see your immature behavior as being the old version of you and not who you are now.
From this day onwards, make sure that you let her see that you are now a much more mature guy, rather than trying to convince her that you will become mature.
You can show her by the way that you talk, behave and take action and as well as how you react and respond to her.
For example: If you begged and pleaded for another chance when she dumped you, here’s how to show her that you’re now a lot more mature…
Just because you were behaving in what she saw as a childish and immature way, it doesn’t mean that you will always be that way.
You are already a better man as a result of the experience, so let her see that from now on.
Changing How She Feels
Right now, your girlfriend is likely saying things like, “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, you’re too childish and immature for me…and I’ve had enough of it.”
She’s probably also convinced herself that nothing you can say and do is going to make her change her mind.
However, human emotions change all the time.
When she can see for herself that you’re not the childish, immature guy that she broke up with, her feelings for you will naturally change.
However, showing her that you’re at a different maturity level now is not a matter of saying, “You know, I’ve changed now. I’m different. Please just give me another chance and I’ll show you that I’m a new man,” because she’s probably not going to believe you.
You have to show her that you’ve changed.
Start by letting her know that you now understand that your immature behavior was a big turn off and then explain to her it’s okay for a guy to make some mistakes in a relationship and then become a better man as a result.
Show her that no matter what she says or does around you from now on, you don’t think, feel, talk, behave and act like the immature guy you used to be.
Just make sure that you don’t keep saying and doing the types of things that can cause your girlfriend to think you still haven’t changed (e.g. beg and plead with her to forgive you, become emotionally sensitive and needy, be insecure about your value as a man) and she will realize that you really have learned from your mistakes.
For example: The next time you interact with her over the phone or in person, you can say, “I can see now that what I was doing was wrong and I understand why you broke up with me. I’m not proud of the way that I behaved when we were together. I accept that I did make that mistake because I was immature at the time. I now know that being an immature or even childish guy isn’t the right way to go about having a happy and successful relationship with a woman like you. However, I want you to know that I’m not that guy anymore. I don’t expect you to believe me, and that’s okay. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’m now moving forward in my life as a bigger and better man than I ever was before.”
When you say something like that to your ex girlfriend, it starts to calm things down between you and her.
She begins to wonder, “What is going on here? This isn’t the boyish guy that I used to know. He used to react in such a childish and immature way whenever we were going through troubles as a couple. Rather than face up to things like a man, he would have run away from his problems, or blamed me. Yet, that’s not what he’s doing now. He’s actually being mature about the whole thing and is even accepting responsibility for his actions. Wow…I’m really surprised. Maybe I have been too quick about my decision to break up with him. Maybe we are supposed to get back together.”
Of course, admitting your mistakes doesn’t always make a woman change her mind about breaking up with you and come running back, but it will lay a foundation that you can build on.
The key to getting an ex back is that every time you interact with her, you continue saying and doing the types of things that will prove to her that you are no longer the childish and immature guy she remembers.
3 Additional Mistakes That You Should Avoid
Where many guys go wrong, is by thinking that saying something like that to a woman is all the proof she needs to believe that he’s changed.
Yet, actions speak louder than words, so if you want your girlfriend to believe that you’re now a different guy, you have to back up you words with the right actions.
To succeed at getting her back, try to avoid making any of these newbie mistakes…
1. Thinking that you have to be together because you were once a great couple.
In the past, a woman was expected to stay with her man, regardless of whether she was happy or not.
Essentially, she was considered his property and he could behave any way he wanted to (e.g. cruel, childish, immature, abusive) and she could do nothing about it.
In today’s world, women are more confident and independent and they can choose to break up with a guy if he’s not making her feel the way that she wants to feel in the relationship with him.
If she starts to lose too much respect and attraction for the guy because of his actions and behavior, she can choose to break up with him because she is an individual and is not his property.
Where some guys go wrong, is thinking that good past experiences together is enough of a reason for her to want to keep the relationship together.
For example: A guy might say, “Please baby, don’t do this. Think about all the good times we had together. I know that things weren’t that wonderful near the end, but why only remember the bad times when there are so many happy memories to think about? We were great as a couple and we can be again if you give us a chance. ”
Yet, saying that to a woman isn’t going to make her change her mind, if she’s not getting the attraction experience that she wants from him anymore.
So, even though they might have had some good times together in the past, it’s simply not going to matter to her if he has recently been behaving in ways that have been turning her off (e.g. insecure, childish, immature, self-doubting).
Essentially, when a woman loses respect and attraction for a guy, she’s not going to care that they were a great couple before.
Instead, she’s going to be saying things like, “Yes, we had some good times together, but that stopped a long time ago when you started being childish and immature every time something didn’t go your way. So, don’t ask me to think about how great we were as a couple, because that was before I knew who you really are.”
If you want to make your girlfriend realize that your relationship is worth fighting for, don’t waste time trying to convince by bringing up the past.
Instead, just focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you right now in the present, so she can naturally reconnect with her love for you.
Her love for you is still there in the background, but she just won’t be connecting with that now because she has lost touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When you re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, her guard comes down and then she becomes more willing to love who you are right now, rather than always thinking of you as the childish, immature guy that she broke up with.
2. Not trying out new ways of talking and behaving to show her your newfound maturity.
If your girlfriend contacts you and you’re still talking and behaving in the same old ways, she’s not going to be very interested in getting back together with you.
So, if you want to get her respect back, you need to prove to her (via your actions and behavior) that you’ve moved beyond the level you were at when she broke up with you.
For example: A guy might have been jealous in his relationship with his girlfriend, causing him to feel insecure and therefore react in ways that she interpreted as being childish and immature (e.g. trying to control her, forbidding her to hang out with any of her friends, throwing a tantrum every time she talked to another guy, constantly checking her phone or social media to see if she is talking to any other guys).
To convince her that he’s changed, he now has to react completely differently to the same situations.
For instance, if he sees her talking to another guy, rather than react by getting upset, shouting at her or sulking, he needs to remain confident and calm.
If she says that she can’t see him because she’s meeting up with friends, he needs to say something like, “That’s great. I hope you enjoy yourself. Have fun!”
Then, when she tests him (e.g. by saying, “I think there might be some guys there too. My friends are single and are trying to meet guys”) to see if he’s just pretending to have changed and notices that he doesn’t bite, she will start believing that he’s not the same immature guy that she broke up with.
It’s important to understand that you do not have to become perfect to convince your girlfriend that you are now more emotionally mature.
You just need to be a much more emotionally strong and emotionally mature guy than you’ve been before.
Essentially, if every time that she expects you to react in a certain way (i.e. childish and immature), you respond in a confident, mature way, she won’t be able to hold on to her negative opinions about you for long, no matter how hard she tries.
She will begin to think, “Hmm…this is new. What happened to the annoying guy who throws tantrums when things don’t go his way? He’s not doing that anymore. No matter what I say or do to test him, he’s emotionally mature about it now. I’m actually enjoying being around him again and rather than trying to avoid him. Actually, I’m now looking for excuses to talk to him again.”
When that happens, she will begin to reconnect with the love that she once had for you, which has been waiting there in the background.
3. Letting her dominate you or walk all over you with her confident personality.
Yes, you stuffed up.
You were childish and immature and your girlfriend broke up with you because of that.
Many guys make that mistake, so don’t worry about it.
You are a better man now because of it, right?
Just use the experience as a lesson to quickly grow up and become the emotionally strong, emotionally mature man that you are meant to be.
You can do it.
However, that’s not going to happen if you allow your girlfriend to walk all over you by continually complaining about all of your past mistakes.
For example: A way that a woman might dominate her ex boyfriend is by constantly bringing up his past mistakes and trying to make him feel bad about it.
She might say to him, “Remember that time you were sulking for a whole week because I went away for the weekend with my friends? What about the time you threw a tantrum because I was talking to one of my guy coworkers? I can’t believe how childish and immature you were. There was also the time that you accessed my Facebook and read all my messages and even unfriended some guys. You are such a child sometimes you know. You really need to grow up. I can’t believe you did that to me. You’re such a jerk.”
That’s fine if she says that once or twice, but if she brings it up all the time and he keeps apologizing, she’s actually losing respect for him for not standing up for himself and saying, “Hey, that’s in the past. You’ve already brought that up plenty of times and I’ve apologized. There’s no need to keep bringing it up.”
If a guy doesn’t stand up to her when she keeps putting him down and he apologizes for the 100th time with something like, “I’m sorry! Please let me make it up to you. I’m really sorry. How many times must I apologize for that before you forgive me? I know I messed up. What do you want me to do to prove to you that I’ve changed? Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it,” she will be disappointed at his lack of a backbone to stand up to her.
When a woman dominates a guy in this way, she can’t look up to him and respect him.
When she can’t respect him, she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to him and without those two things, there’s nothing much left to base a happy relationship on.
So, if your ex keeps bringing up all your past mistakes and talking to you like she’s the grownup and you’re the child, you need to show her that you’re now more mature than she’s giving you credit for.
For example: You might say to her, “You’re right, I did do all those things. However, just for a minute, let’s try to imagine something just for fun. Are you in?”
When she says yes, you can say, “Let’s pretend for a minute that we have amnesia and have completely forgotten about the past. Right now, we have to get to know each other all over again based on who we are right now. So, we can like or dislike each other based on who we are right now, not who we used to be in the old relationship. Obviously, I’m a much more mature guy now, so if you were being honest, you would have to admit that you do like the new me…even if just a little bit.”
By saying something like that to her, you’re having a bit of fun to lighten the mood and relax her anger.
You’re also establishing your role as a mature man, which will likely stop her in her tracks and make her wonder, “What happened here? Who is this new, mature guy? I feel like the woman now…I feel like he’s actually in control…and I like it.”
She will then begin to feel feminine and girly in contrast to your masculine approach to the interaction.
From there, every time that you interact with her (via text message, on social media, on a phone call, and especially in person) focus on showing her via the way that you think, talk and behave that you are now a completely new man.
Initially, she might be a reluctant to accept that you’ve actually changed and she might say, “A leopard doesn’t change its spots. You can’t have changed that much since we broke up. I don’t believe you that you are now a different guy.”
Don’t worry; her guard will come down when you keep making her feel respect and attraction for you every time that you interact with her.
When her guard comes down, she will allow herself to properly feel attracted to you again and will truly begin to love the new you.
All you need to do then is confidently guide her back into a relationship.
Taking a Positive Step Forward
So, your girlfriend broke up with you for being childish and immature.
What’s done is done.
It’s fine because you can get her back. So, don’t worry.
Once you re-attract her and get her back, you can build a new, more mature relationship with your girlfriend based on mutual respect, attraction and love.
When she feels more respect for you than she ever has before (because you are now making her feel attracted in new and exciting ways), she will realize that it feels right to open herself up to loving you again.