If you’re wondering whether or not you should wait for your girlfriend to come back or just move on without her, here are 5 questions to ask yourself that will help you decide:
1. Will she be able to quickly find a new guy, or will she struggle to replace you?
If your girlfriend is the type of woman who can easily find a new guy, then waiting for her to come back could prove to be a waste of time, because while you’re sitting around waiting, she could be moving on with someone else.
On the other hand, if she’s unlikely to meet someone new very quickly, then if you wait for her, she might change her mind and come back.
So, which category does your girlfriend fit into?
Will she move on with another guy if you wait for her to come back? Does she have single girlfriends who are encouraging her to go out and meet guys?
Or, is she sitting around missing you and hoping that you’ll call her?
2. Do you think that the relationship is worth working on, or do you think it has run its course?
Sometimes a guy might stay in a relationship with a woman because it’s comfortable (e.g. you and her share the rent or mortgage payments, you get along well as friends) and that feels better than being alone.
Even if the relationship isn’t great (i.e. the respect, attraction and love isn’t fully mutual), a guy might still enjoy having a woman around to go out with, have sex with and to share the chores and bills.
In the past, a woman would put up with a relationship that she wasn’t happy in because it was shameful to break up or divorce.
However, in today’s world, women are free and often even encouraged to move on and find a new guy if they aren’t happy in a relationship.
So, the questions now are:
Are you really attracted to her in love with her, or do you just want her back because it’s easier than finding a new woman?
Do you know what to say and do to create a new relationship dynamic that is based on mutual respect, attraction and love?
Are you hoping to just get a bit more time with her, but don’t really know how to keep the relationship together in the long term?
If you want her back and are not sure how you are going to make the relationship work, make sure that you figure out how to properly re-attract her and establish a new, better relationship dynamic.
If you try to get her back, but she can see that you still don’t know how to create a more ideal relationship dynamic, she’s just not going to be that interested, if at all.
So, make sure that you are prepared to succeed when you next interact with her.
Get her back and make the relationship even better than it was before.
3. Would you be happy to stay with her for life if you and her fell back in love and had a great relationship again?
Is your girlfriend a woman of good character?
In other words, is she someone that you can rely on and wisely invest all of your lifetime into?
If you’re unsure, ask yourself…
- Was she trustworthy throughout the relationship, or was she regularly dishonest?
- Was she loving and caring, or did she sometimes do hurtful things (e.g. disrespect you in front of others, forget to call you, or answer your texts)?
- Were you as important to her, as she was to you (e.g. did she put you first in her life above friends, work or hobbies)?
- Did she do things to make you doubt her devotion to you (e.g. she flirted with other guys, hid things from you)?
- Did she respect you and look up to you, or did she put you down?
By answering these questions you’ll have a clearer understanding of where you stand with your ex.
If you can only really see positives about her, or if you see the negatives as being your fault, then yes – you should get her back and keep the relationship together for life.
However, if you can only see negatives that were her fault (i.e. because she’s a woman of bad character), then you might want to get her back for a bit of fun to hook up and feel good about yourself, but she’s not a keeper.
4. Do you know how to make her have strong feelings for you again?
A guy can spend weeks, months and even years waiting for his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) to come back, but if he doesn’t actually do something active to trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for him again, he is likely going to be wasting his time.
To get your girlfriend to come back you need to know how to reactivate her feelings for you first, before you even attempt to ask her for another chance.
Without triggering her feelings of attraction first, it will be a case of you having feelings for her and really wanting her back, but her not feeling much or anything for you and not feeling motivated to give the relationship another chance.
5. How will you feel if she hooks up with other guys and comes back to you, even though you haven’t been with any new women in the meantime?
Couples get back together again all the time.
It’s actually very common these days and the numbers are rising now thanks to guys following the steps in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System.
I’ve found that even when a woman is saying things to her ex like, “I hate you,” or “I never want to see you again,” when he re-activates her feelings of respect and attraction, she can instantly or very quickly change her mind and then get back together with him.
However, if you wait around for your girlfriend to come back to you on her own terms, the chances are higher than she will hook up with another guy (or guys), have sex and begin to enjoy the single lifestyle.
So, the question you need to ask yourself is this…
Will you be okay waiting around, avoiding other women and being the faithful boyfriend who has put his life on hold for her, while she’s out there having sex with other guys?
If you get her back and know that she’s had sex with other guys, will that bother you?
If you’re a very confident guy who can easily pick up other women, you wouldn’t care about that.
However, if you’re like most guys (i.e. you don’t really know how to attract and pick up women and rely on getting lucky every now and then), the thought of a confident guy having sex with her probably makes you feel sick to the stomach.
If You Wait Too Long to Get Her Back, You Might Lose a Lot of Confidence in Your Attractiveness to Women in General
After a break up, some guys make the decision to wait for their girlfriend to come back.
A guy might say, “I’ve heard people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, if I give my girlfriend some space to be by herself, she will realize that she misses me and she will then come back. Besides, I don’t want to be with any other women. I want her. I also don’t want her to think that I’m over her if she sees me with other women. So, I’m going to patiently wait and hopefully that will show her how much I care.”
He might then wait around for 30, 60 (or even more) days in the hope that she contacts him first.
Then when she doesn’t call, he may wonder, “Why isn’t she contacting me? Should I give her more time? How long do other guys wait to get a woman back? I’ve heard online that you’re supposed to not contact a woman and if she comes back then it’s meant to be, but if she doesn’t, then you have to move on.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that the main reason why she’s not coming back is that he isn’t doing anything to actively make her have feelings for him again.
He’s just waiting in the background and hoping that she changes her mind on her own.
Of course, waiting for a woman to come back does work sometimes (about 20% of the time actually, based on my years of experience helping men get women back) and it’s usually because the woman still has strong feelings for the guy, or because she’s struggling to find someone else.
However, if a woman doesn’t have feelings for the guy she dumped (80% of cases) and doesn’t hear from him for weeks or months, she will likely be too busy moving on with her life to even notice that he’s not around.
When this happens, a guy might begin to lose confidence around other women because he feels unworthy, unattractive and unwanted by his ex.
He may think, “I’ve been waiting for my ex to come back for months and she hasn’t even called me once just to say hi. Maybe it’s because I’m not good enough for her. Maybe I’m just not good looking enough, rich enough or successful enough for her or any woman.”
Then, when he thinks about dating again, he may begins to feel even less sure of himself and his value to women.
“I’d love to get out and meet a new woman, but I don’t see why a hot woman would want to be with a guy like me. Clearly I’m not a catch or else my girlfriend would have come back to me when I ignored her, so why would another beautiful woman ever be interested in me?”
He then spirals into a cycle of negative, insecure thinking, which eats away at whatever remaining confidence he has in himself.
If he then goes out and tries to meet new women, he will usually get rejected because the women will sense his emotional weakness.
Women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, self-belief, determination) and are turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. self-doubt, insecurity).
So, when a guy is being insecure and self-doubting around a woman, she will instinctively feel turned off by him and will usually reject him.
The guy will then likely say to himself, “See?! Beautiful women are not attracted to me. I’m just not good enough. I’m not good looking enough. I just want my ex back. At least she loved me! Maybe I should wait longer and build up my career in the meantime, so I am more appealing to my ex. Maybe I should go to the gym. Hhhh, I don’t know what I should do. I want her back!”
He might then start thinking, “Maybe it’s all about my appearance…I’ve heard women talking about how hot guys are when they have big muscles and six-pack abs. I need to fix my body and improve on my looks. Maybe I need a new wardrobe and a new hairstyle as well.”
He then starts going to the gym and working out, he spends hundreds and even thousands of dollars buying new clothes and changing his appearance.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Muscles, clothes, or looks are not as attractive to a woman as a man’s ability to attract her emotionally.
Essentially, a woman’s emotional attraction to a guy is based on how he makes her feel by the way he interacts with her (i.e. his body language, his attitude, the way he talks and responds to her, and the way he reacts to what she says and does).
His attractiveness to her is based on who he is when she’s interacting with him.
For example: When a woman is interacting with a guy, subconsciously she will be asking herself…
- Am I feeling good in his presence, or is he making me feel uncomfortable, bored or turned off?
- Do I feel like I can look up to him and respect him as a man, or do I look down on him?
- Do I feel feminine and girly in his presence, or do I feel more masculine and dominant than him?
- Is he confident and masculine, or is he insecure and needy?
- Could he attract other women and is choosing me because he really likes me, or is he only interested in me because I’m showing some interest and he’s hoping to get lucky?
- Is he the sort of guy that other guys would respect or look down on?
- Would I feel proud to introduce him to my family and friends, or would they pick on him or look down on him?
Those are the things that really matter to a woman.
Women are attracted to confident men who believe in themselves and are turned off by insecure men who doubt themselves.
So, if you’ve been waiting a long time for your girlfriend to come back and have been losing confidence in the process, you must begin to build your confidence back up by getting rid of your negative beliefs about yourself.
In that way, not only will you able to attract other beautiful women if you want to, but you will be able to make her your ex feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you.
Do You Really Want Your Ex Girlfriend Back?
Some guys know they got lucky when they hooked up with their girlfriend, so when they get broken up with, they usually say things like, “I think I’ll wait for my girlfriend to come back, rather than move on without her.”
A guy might also say, “I’ll never meet another woman like my girlfriend. She is my soul mate. I’ll wait for her to come back no matter how long it takes.”
Yet, in some cases, the guy might secretly know that she’s not the one for him, and he’s only holding on to her because:
- He’s afraid of getting rejected by other women.
- He doesn’t want to take the risk of falling in love and getting broken up with again.
- He’s focusing on all the positives about his ex girlfriend, but is refusing to think about the negatives.
- He doesn’t know how to start dating again after a break up.
- He feels comfortable with his girlfriend, and it’s easier to stick with her than take on the challenge of getting to know a new woman all over again.
Regardless of what your reasons for wanting her back might be, staying with a woman that you don’t really want to be with is a waste of your potential as a man.
The fact is, there are millions of beautiful, sexy, loving women out there looking to meet and hook up with a guy exactly like you.
You simply need to be confident enough to approach them, attract them and open them up to sex and love.
When you know how to trigger a woman’s feelings of attraction, you can have your choice of women.
So, don’t settle for second best when it comes to women (or anything) in your life.
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Regardless of whether you decide to wait for your girlfriend to come back, or move on without her, the key is to take action quickly.
If you decide to wait for her, you still need to make the effort to interact with her (e.g. via text, on a phone call, and in person), and actively re-activate her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Don’t just sit around waiting for her to change her feelings by herself. Be active and get her back by doing something about it.
On the other hand, if you decide that you want to move on without her, make sure that you actively go out, have fun and meet new women, so you can begin to forget all about her.
The choice is yours.
What are you going to do?