The obvious thing to do is to go to places that you know she will be at and hopefully be there at the same time, right?
The less obvious thing is what you should actually say and do once you run into her.
That is what it really counts and will determine whether or not running into her turns out to a plus or a negative on your chances of getting her back.
So, here are 3 examples of how to run into your ex on purpose and what to say and do when you finally come face to face with her:
1. Go to the same supermarket or grocery store at the approximate time she’d be shopping there
If you know your ex’s shopping habits, accidently bumping into her at the supermarket is the perfect way to run into her on purpose.
Of course, you need to first make sure that you don’t come across as a stalker and follow her to the supermarket in your car and then around all the aisles.
Instead, you need to get your timing right so that you literally bump into her unexpectedly as you come round the corner of one of the aisles.
When that happens, smile at her in a relaxed, easy-going way and say something along the lines of, “Hey! Fancy seeing you here.”
She will likely be surprised to see you there and she may respond with something like, “What are you doing here?”
Whatever she says, just smile and say, “Well, obviously I’m doing the same thing you’re doing… getting my groceries,” then add, “I see you’ve got pasta (or whatever food item you can see) in your cart. So, what’s for dinner tonight?”
She will most likely ask, “Why do you want to know?” and you can then say in a joking way, “Well, you were always such a lousy cook that I want to make sure I know what to tell the paramedics if I have to call them to rescue you,” and have a laugh with her about that.
She’s probably going to smile and laugh and say something like, “Hey! How dare you say that? You know I’m an excellent cook!”
You can then laugh some more and say, “Oh yeah, I forgot. I’m the one who is a lousy cook.”
Alternatively, when she asks, “Why do you want to know?” you can answer, “Well, I want to know to see if it’s something I’d be interested in eating. You were always a good cook, so maybe you can cook me dinner tonight” and have a laugh with her about that.
At that point, she is probably going to be smiling and thinking about you in a positive way, because you’re not acting like a desperate ex and trying to get her back in the middle of the grocery store and are instead just being a bit playful.
She will also be feeling surges of respect and attraction for you, which is what you want.
From there, you can either continue shopping with her and having a nice, relaxed conversation (e.g. ask her how she’s been, tell her a bit about what you’ve been doing).
You need to stay confident and only talk about positive things you’ve been doing.
Then, if things seem to be going well and she seems open, you might say, “Hey, it was really nice chatting to you like this. Let’s catch up sometime this week for a cup of coffee as friends. I’m free on Wednesday and Sunday afternoon.”
Initially she might be a bit resistant to the idea and say something like, “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
However, the important thing is that you maintain your confidence and respond with something along the lines of, “Look, it’s no big deal. We’re two friends catching up. There’s nothing wrong with that. We’re mature enough to catch up and say hi as friend. It’s not like we’re going to get back together again just because we’re having coffee. So, let’s catch up and say hi something this week.”
Usually, when you say something like that to a woman and remain calm, relaxed and confident, she will likely say “Yes,” (even if it’s only out of curiosity to see for herself if you’ve really changed).
Then, just go ahead and make plans to meet her at a time that suits you both, say goodbye and go your separate ways.
You want to leave her wondering, “What just happened? I can’t believe I just agreed to have coffee with my ex. He’s just so different all of a sudden. I actually enjoyed being around him again.”
Just remember though…
When you meet up with her in person, you’ve got to continue sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you if you want to change how she feels and get her back.
Another example of how to run into your ex on purpose is…
2. Go to the same bar or nightclub
Bars and nightclubs are designed for people to let their hair down, let go of their inhibitions (e.g. by having a few drinks, dancing) and have fun.
This is why it’s a great place to run into your ex on purpose.
Of course, don’t just show up by yourself and then sit in a corner all night sneaking looks her.
That would be creepy and a definite way to turn her off even more.
Instead, make sure you are with at least one friend, so you don’t look lonely and out of place.
Then, confidently walk up to your ex and say, “Hi.”
She will most likely be there with her friends or work colleagues, so make sure to be charming and greet everyone in the group.
From there, have a friendly chat with her.
Focus on maintaining your confidence with her no matter what she says or does to put you off (e.g. she’s initially cold and aloof, she only gives you one word answers during conversation).
At the same time, use humor to create sparks of attraction and get her thinking things like, “I can’t believe I’m actually smiling and enjoying myself. What’s going on? Why am I feeling so drawn to him again all of a sudden?”
Then, after a few minutes of conversation where you’re making her smile, laugh and feel good to be interacting with you again, say something like,
“Anyway… I need to get back to my friend. It was great seeing you though. Have fun. Bye for now,” and walk away and enjoy the night with your friend.
If she keeps looking at you over the next 30 minutes to an hour, go back to her, or let her come to you.
When that happens, focus on saying and doing the types of things that are going to keep turning her feelings on for you.
- Be confident and charismatic, no matter what she says or does to test you (e.g. shows interest one minute and pulls away the next).
- Use humor to lighten the mood and make her feel relaxed around you.
- Make her feel feminine and girly by being emotionally masculine.
- Flirt with her to create some sexual tension between you.
- Use her uncertainty about talking to you to create funny moments that bring you closer together.
- Show her via the way you respond to what she says or does that you’re not intimidated by her, or insecure and hurt without her support.
As you talk to her, pay attention to the signs that she may be giving you (e.g. licking her lips, touching you on the arm and/or leg, playing with her hair or a necklace, talking about the good times that you and her shared) that she’s open to connecting with you on a more intimate level.
When she seems relaxed and happy, lean in and give her a hug and if she doesn’t pull away, give her a kiss.
From there, if she’s open, you can go to your place or hers, hook up with her sexually and get her back.
Another example of how to run into your ex on purpose is…
3. Run into her on her lunch break
A good way to run into your ex on purpose is to bump into her in the cafeteria or at a coffee shop/restaurant she likes to have lunch at.
Of course this applies if she works, or if she studies at university.
When you see her, you can confidently walk up to her and say hello.
Then say something funny to create a spark of attraction by making her smile and laugh.
For example: Imagine your ex is eating lunch in the cafeteria at her university.
You can approach her and say in a light-hearted, joking way something along the lines, “Hey! I just wanted to warn you. Stay away from the jello. I heard that the science department experimented on it and it’s now got some weird chemical that makes women fall irresistibly back in love with their ex’s.”
She will likely smile and she might say something like, “Oh, really?” or, “Don’t worry, that will never happen to me.”
You can then say, “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” and have a laugh with her about that.
You can then say, “Okay, I’m only joking. The jello is totally cool by the way.”
At this point she will likely be smiling, laughing and feeling good to be talking to you.
She will also be feeling surges of respect for you for having the confidence and social skills to make her laugh and smile even though you’re broken up.
She will then most likely be open to you joining her for lunch.
From there, continue to spark her feelings by flirting with her and creating some sexual tension and then say something like, “It’s really great to run into you like this, but I’m afraid I can’t stay very long.”
Then chat for a few more minutes and get up to leave.
If you’ve been sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she will likely be thinking something like, “Awww… does he have to leave so soon? I can’t believe I’m thinking this but I’ve had so much fun chatting to him.”
You can then call her on the phone after a day or two and get her to meet up with you for a catch up.
At the meet up, fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Running into an Ex On Purpose
Running into your ex is probably something you can easily do.
However, when you come face-to-face with her, you need to make sure that you won’t turn her off by making some of the common mistakes that most guys make with their ex.
1. Looking nervous when you approach or start talking to your ex
There’s no point in running into your ex, if you’re going to blow it by being too nervous around her and turn her off.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman hears the nervousness in her ex’s voice and picks up the insecurity and self-doubt in his body language, rather than think, “Awww… he’s feeling so anxious and scared to be talking to me. That’s so cute. I should be extra sweet and nice to him and make it easy for him to try and get me back,” she’s going to feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional weakness.
She will then likely respond by being cold and aloof, which in most instances will make the guy feel even more nervous and insecure, which then makes her feel even more turned off and so on and so forth.
So, approaching or talking to your ex in anything other than a confident, self-assured way will simply serve as another reason why she wants to remain broken up.
Another mistake is…
2. Only being friendly and neutral and not creating a spark
Sometimes a guy will go to a lot of trouble to run into his ex on purpose, only to waste the opportunity by pretending that he’s only interested in being her friend now.
- He only has a nice and polite conversation with her.
- Doesn’t flirt to create sexual tension.
- Doesn’t use ballsy humor to make her feel attracted.
- He allows her to call the shots during the interaction so she feels more emotionally dominant than him.
Unfortunately though, being friendly or neutral with an ex who has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him doesn’t work.
Rather than open up and want to continue the interaction, she will likely just make an excuse to get away from him as quickly as possible and he will have wasted his chance.
So, if you want to re-attract your ex and get her back, don’t pretend that you don’t.
Instead, you need to actively spark her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you, so that her defenses start to come down and she opens up to the idea of giving you another chance.
Another mistake is…
3. Overstaying your welcome
When it comes to running into your ex on purpose, you need to remember that ‘less is more.’
In other words, rather than hang around so long that your ex starts thinking things like, “This is so awkward. What does he want? Why won’t he just go away?” you want to leave her wanting more and thinking, “Wow, that was so much fun. I wish he’d stayed longer.”
Of course, if your ex is giving you clear signs that she’s open and wants you to stay, don’t just get up and leave.
However, if she’s being a bit reserved and cautious, simply focus on sparking her feelings and then leave.
Then just call her the next day, arrange to see her again and fully reactivate her feelings so that she wants to get back together again.
Another mistake is…
4. Trying to discuss the relationship
As tempting as it might be to want to discuss the relationship and getting back together again when you run into your ex, if you haven’t fully reactivated her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, she’s not going to want to hear it.
Instead, she will likely put her guard up and start to look for excuses to get away from you.
So, try to avoid discussing the relationship.
Instead, steer the conversation towards flirting, humor and feel good emotions.
When she can see that she is feeling good around you and that things aren’t so bad between you and her after all, she will automatically start to open back up to you again.
Then getting back together again becomes easy, because she wants it to happen as much as you do.