The secret is to not try to understand them.

If you try to understand a woman’s mixed messages and she notices that you’re trying, she will give you even more mixed messages.


Women are turned off by self-doubt in men, so if you’re doubting your attractiveness to her, she’s going to be feeling turned off.

She will then give you more mixed messages because she won’t be feeling enough attraction and will continue to test your confidence to see if you change and man up.

Women want you to be strong, not weak and doubtful.

You’ve got to believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her no matter what she says or does.

Don’t ever doubt yourself.

That’s the kind of confidence that women love in a man.

It’s not about telling her, “Hey, no matter what you say or do, I’m going to keep chasing you.”


It’s about simply remaining confident and you guide her back into a relationship with you in a calm, easy-going manner.

If you maintain your confidence, she will notice and she will feel respect and attraction for you because of it.

However, if you’re always trying to understand her mixed messages and are doubting yourself as a result, she will notice and she will feel turned off by you.

Believe in Yourself and Focus on Reactivating Her Feelings

Believe in yourself and reactivate her feelings

Although it would be nice if a woman was perfectly honest and clear about her feelings (e.g. she simply came out and said, “Yes, I still care
for you and I want to get back together again”
), it rarely happens.

In most cases, a woman will give her ex mixed messages and see if he can maintain his confidence as he continues to reactivate her feelings.

If he does that, her guard will come down and she will begin to give him clearer signals and even open up and admit that she misses him, still loves him and wants to get back with him.

On the other hand, if a guy just waits around hoping that his ex will suddenly realize how much she misses him and then declare her undying love for him, he will usually be very disappointed.

In most cases, a woman will simply move on without her ex man unless he actively gets her back.

Watch this video for more info…

So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t waste time analyzing the mixed messages that she is giving you.

Instead, just focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you by talking and behaving in ways that are attractive to her.

For example: When you interact with your ex…

  • You are now confident, emotionally strong and self assured, rather than insecure and self-doubting.
  • You are emotionally masculine and dominant, rather than being afraid to stand up to her (in a loving, but assertive way) when she tries to dominate you with her confident personality.
  • You are focused and determined to succeed in life, rather than giving up at the first sign of difficulty.
  • You make her laugh and smile when you interact with her, rather than making her feel bored, annoyed or uncomfortable around you.
  • You make her feel feminine and girly in your presence, rather than making her feel turned off by you.

Remember: How you make your ex feel about you when you interact with her is the most important part of getting her back.

It’s about making her have feelings for you again.

That is what counts.

If you interact with her and talk and behave in ways that naturally attract women, she will feel attracted to you.

So, don’t take it too seriously if your ex gives you mixed messages when you are doing everything right.

A woman will instinctively test a guy to see if he’s genuinely confident and emotionally strong, or if he’s only putting on an act of confidence to get her back.

Women feel an instinctive need to be with a guy who is genuinely confident and able to handle the challenges of life, because it makes her feel safe about a future with him.

So, you need to maintain a positive attitude regardless of how she is behaving (e.g. being nice and sweet one minute and closed off and distant the next, saying she still cares for you and then saying that it’s over, responding to some texts, but not all).

When she can see that you’re not the same guy she broke up with, her guard will come down and she will reconnect with her feelings for you.

She will want to be close to you and get physical again, because it will now feel so much more amazing for her based on the changes you’ve made to yourself.

Women thrive on a man’s confidence.

It turns them on at a deep level and satisfies them during sex.

By the way…

Real confidence and emotional strength is not something that can be faked.

If a guy fakes confidence, his true emotional state will come through in subtle and obvious ways when he interacts with his ex.

For example: When a guy is talking to his ex and she says something like, “I’m not sure how I feel about you right now. Maybe I love you, but maybe I don’t,” he might pretend to be more confident than he really feels, by acting that he doesn’t care about how she feels about him and that he’s totally fine without her.

He might say something like, “Ahh, it’s okay. I don’t really care anyway. It’s fine with me if you love me and it’s also fine if you don’t. Don’t think I’m going to wait around for you forever to make up your mind. I have a life that I’m getting on with. I’m doing fine without you.”

He’s likely hoping by pretending not to care about her decision, she will realize what a great guy he really is and change her mind now before she loses him.

Yet, in most cases, a woman (especially when she has had a bit of experience with men and breaks ups) will simply test the guy to see if he’s really as confident as he seems, or if he’s only pretending.

For example: She might say something along the lines of, “Well, you’re obviously happier now without me in your life. It’s clear to me now that you never really loved me. No problem then…I won’t bother you again. From this moment onwards you’re free of me. Goodbye.”

If he then panics and quickly says something like, “No, no – wait. Please don’t be like that…you know that I still love you. I’ve always loved you. You’re my only true love. It’s just that you not being able to decide whether you love me or not is killing me. I don’t want a life without you in it. Can’t you see that? I haven’t moved on with any other women because I just want you” she will see that he really does care and was simply putting on an act.

On the other hand, if you are genuinely confident, when your ex tests you by giving you mixed message, you can react by confident, calm and in control.

So, she says something like, “I’m not sure how I feel about you right now. Maybe I love you, but maybe I don’t.”

You can then say, “I know that I love you. If you love me, that’s great and if you don’t love me, well, I’m sure I’ll get over that. At the end of the day, I have more going on in my life besides a relationship with you. So, even though I do want you back, I don’t need you back to feel happy and fulfilled. My life goes on and I’m happy about where my future is heading. It would be nice if you and I were together, but if you don’t want that, I accept that and won’t try to change your mind about it from now on.”

All of a sudden, she will feel a tremendous amount of respect you because you’re being so honest, while also being a loving, considerate man.

You’re not freaking out emotionally.

You’re in control, you’re not being needy and are expressing yourself in an emotionally mature, honest way.

You also have the class to make her feel good at the same time, rather than calling her names, insulting her or suggesting that she has a problem.

A lot of guys say things like, “You have issues. You need to go see a doctor or psychologist and get help” when their ex woman is giving them mixed messages.

What these guys don’t realize is that she is simply testing his confidence and will stop that when she proves himself to be consistently confident no matter what she says or does.

That’s what women are looking for.

They want to feel safe with a man who is truly, genuinely confident in himself and his attractiveness to her, rather than getting stuck with a guy who will need her to carry him throughout life, be gentle with him emotionally and constantly encourage him.

Mistakes That Slow Down or Ruin the Ex Back Process

There is actually an ex back process that will work for your specific situation.

Watch this…

You’ve got to go from one step to the next in a way that will work for your, unique relationship.

Don’t waste time remaining stuck at a certain point (e.g. ignoring her) and hoping that she wakes up one day, misses you like crazy and then guides you back into a relationship.

If you want to get her back for real, be sure to avoid the following mistakes…

1. Waiting for extremely obvious signals of interest from her before you feel confident enough to make a move

Mistakes that slow down or ruin the ex back process

Sometimes, a guy can waste a lot of time (i.e. weeks, months and even years) waiting for his ex to give him an obvious sign that she’s interested in getting back with him.

Secretly, he is hoping that she will say something clear and obvious like, “I really miss you. I think breaking up was a mistake. Want to get back together again?”

He can then say, “Yes! I miss you too. Let’s get back together again,” and then everything will be perfect and they will live happily ever after.


Yet, real life is not like a children’s fairy tale or a Hollywood romantic comedy.

In the real world, even if a woman still has feelings for her ex and is actually hoping that they will get back together again, she will rarely give him an obvious signal to let him know.


In addition to not wanting to help him feel confidence, a woman also doesn’t want to make herself seem too desperate and easy.

So, rather than make it obvious that she still has feelings for her ex, she may even pretend to have no feelings for him at all.

For example: If a guy calls up his ex, she will act cold and aloof and may even say things like, “Why are you calling me? Have you forgotten that it’s over between us?” or “What do you want? I have nothing left to say to you.”

If he buckles under the pressure and loses confidence in himself, she then can’t fully respect him and feel attracted to him.

She then feels disappointed because he is ruining their chance of getting back together, by not realizing that she is secretly hoping that he changes the mood of the conversation and gets her to drop her guard.

For example: He uses humor to get her laughing and change the seriousness of the conversation, by saying something like, “Oh, is this not Pizza Hut? I was calling to order a large Pepperoni. I was just about to say – that’s pretty bad customer service you’re offering there. I was going to ask to speak to the manager” and then have a laugh with her about that.

Then, say, “Anyway, just kidding – how have you been?” and have a chat with her.

You might eventually say, “By the way…I still want a pizza. How about you – hungry? We should catch up and say hi tonight. We can grab a pizza and talk and after that, if you want to leave – I will be totally fine with that. Let’s catch up tonight.”

Then, catch up with her, fully re-attract her, hook up with her sexually and get the relationship back together.

That’s how it’s done.

However, if you wait for a clear signal from your ex before you make a move, you may be waiting for a long, long time and she might just move on with another guy instead.

2. Hoping that she will take the lead and guide you back into a relationship

When a woman breaks up with a guy who has ruined her feelings for him (e.g. he became very insecure), she will usually try to move on without him.

In cases where the woman still wants to give the relationship another chance, she will give him mixed signals and wait to see if he’s man enough to take the lead and do what he needs to do (i.e. reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love) to confidently guide her back into a relationship.

Where many guys go wrong is by hoping that woman will take the lead and basically tell him what she wants him to do to get her back.

Giving mixed messages, she will say, “I’m not sure yet. Give me a month of space and then we can talk,” so he believes her and follows her lead.

Meanwhile, she’s sitting around thinking, “Why is he obeying me like that? Doesn’t he know that we can get back together if he actively changes how I feel? Doesn’t he know that if I meet a guy who is interesting and attractive, I’m probably just going to hook up with him instead and then try to move on? Doesn’t he realize that I can’t promise my loyalty to him now that we’re having space? Does he just expect me to follow through on my promise like a man would? Doesn’t he realize that I’m a woman and I make decisions about relationships based on how I feel on any given day, not on what I said I would do weeks prior?”

Most guys don’t understand that women really are very different to men.

So, some guys will think something like, “I don’t want to come across as being pushy. I’m sure my ex will appreciate it if I just let her call the shots from now on. When she’s feeling ready, she will tell me and we can then get back together again. I show her that I’m willing to wait. She will tell me what she wants when she is ready.”

Yet, that’s not how to get an ex woman back.

She wants you to lead her back into a relationship by reactivating her feelings and remaining confident in yourself at all times.

A woman will rarely take on the dominant, masculine role of the man to get the relationship back together again.

Instead, she will usually sit back and wait to see if he is emotionally strong enough to take on the leading role in the ex back process.

If he does, she will be able to respect him again.

When she respects him, she will feel attracted to him and then she will then be able to reconnect with her feelings of love.

On the other hand, if he waits around hoping that she will be the leader, she will lose more respect for him for not having the balls to take the lead and get her back.

When that happens, she will give him even more mixed messages than before (to test his confidence), while at the same time, focusing her attention on moving on and finding a replacement guy who is man enough to lead the way in a relationship with her.

So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t wait for her to take the lead and explain how the ex back process will work for you and her.

Watch the video above and you will realize that women usually SAY one thing and DO another.

So, don’t expect her to give you advice on how to get her back, or for her to follow through on her promise to have some space and then get back with you.

You’ve got to be man enough to take the lead and make things happen.

3. Feeling unwelcome to flirt with her and actively make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you

Some guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex is wrong.

A guy might think, “If I flirt with my ex, she might get angry and she may then stop wanting to talk to me or see me again. I can’t take that risk. Besides, she’s always giving me mixed messages, so she’s probably not open to me flirting with her right now. If I just treat her like a friend, she will eventually relax and open up to me and then we can take it from there.”

Yet, that’s not how it works.

If a guy is not actively making his ex feel respect and attraction for him, his friendly, non-sexual, Mr. Nice Guy, approach will simply make her feel nothing for him.





If you want to get a woman back, you’ve got to actively make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.

If you don’t do that, she simply opens herself up to meeting new guys, having sex and falling in love again with a guy who isn’t afraid to make her feel exciting, sexual feelings of lust and desire.

She might SAY to you that she’s not interested in meeting other guys, but she will then DO the complete opposite.

That’s just how women are.

Women don’t want you to follow their lead.

They want you to be the kind of man that they can follow along with.

That doesn’t mean you have to think of everything, make all the decisions and do all the work.


Instead, it just means that you need to believe in yourself no matter what she or anyone says about you.

Be a man that she can look up to and respect and she will then gladly follow along as your loving, loyal and supportive woman.

However, if you don’t believe in yourself, she will naturally want to get away from you because you will make her feel unsafe in this world and unsafe about her future.

So, don’t be afraid to flirt with her and make her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again.

Remember: A romantic relationship between a man and a woman has to have a basis of sexual attraction and respect.

If that isn’t there, it’s a friendship and it won’t last.

After all, she has sexual needs and so do you.

If there is no mutual sexual and romantic attraction, one of you will be unhappy and then cheat or leave.

So, don’t bother trying to understand the mixed messages your ex is giving you and then being on your best behavior in the hopes that this will impress her and make her want you back.

Instead, focus on actively making her have feelings of respect and attraction for you again by flirting with her, making her laugh and smile and showing her the new and improved version of you every time you interact with her (e.g. via text, e-mail, social media, on the phone, or in person), and then confidently guide her back into a relationship with you.

Initially, she may continue to give you mixed messages to test your confidence and see if you will become insecure.

So, just maintain a confident, positive attitude and continue on until you are hugging, kissing, having sex and are back together in a real relationship.

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