Every day, all over the world, men break the heart of their woman and are then able to get her back.
It might seem impossible to you right now, but it really isn’t.
You can fix the situation and get her back very quickly.
Here are 8 tips on how to do it.
1. Don’t suddenly become an overly nice guy who sucks up to her
When a guy feels responsible for breaking his girlfriend’s heart, it’s only natural that he thinks the only way to fix it is by being super nice to her from now on.
He wants to show her that he’s learned his lesson and intends to be gentle, kind and loving towards her from now on.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that.
In fact, it’s important for him to treat her well.
However, it’s equally important that he doesn’t go overboard with niceness.
The reason is, by doing that he loses touch with the cool, confident side of himself that she was attracted to in the first place.
He stops displaying the qualities that attracted her to him and starts behaving in ways that turn her off.
For example: She liked that…
- He was a bit of a challenge because it had motivated her to put in the effort to be a good girl to maintain his interest (e.g. treat him well, look attractive for him). However, now she knows that no matter what she says or does (e.g. she’s cold, distant, disrespectful, lets her appearance go) he will accept it due to his feelings of guilt and wanting to fix that so he can get her back.
- He didn’t always agree with everything she had to say and stood up to her when she was out of line. Yet, now he’s too afraid to do that in case she gets upset.
- He had a rugged, manly type of confidence, but now, that confidence is buried under feelings of guilt, insecurity and nervousness (i.e. because he’s worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and hurting her again).
- He never doubted his attractiveness and value because he knew she wanted him. Yet now, he is unsure of himself and how she feels about him. As a result, he’s always on his best behavior around her (e.g. nice, agreeable) because he’s unsure of how she feels.
Unfortunately, that results in her not feeling attracted to him in the way she used to.
He realizes that if they got back together again, he would be unattractive to her now.
So, she rejects him.
That leads him to believe that it’s because she can’t forgive him for breaking her heart.
Yet, it’s not.
Instead, it’s because he’s turned into an emotional wuss.
So, always remember: Even though a woman doesn’t want to be with a guy who treats her badly, she also doesn’t want him to suck up to her and be on his best behavior to get another chance with her.
That will only ruin her feelings for him further.
The right approach is to mix in some of your original behavior that attracted her to you in the first place (e.g. be confident, assertive, not afraid to stand up to her when she’s being unreasonable), while also treating her better and being more kind and loving from now on.
When you do that, she feels that she can forgive you, which then opens her up to interacting with you to see where things go.
2. Understand that no one is perfect and it’s okay to make a mistake and then fix it
Some guys feel so bad for how they behaved towards their ex that they begin seeing themselves as a horrible person, or as unforgivable.
Yet, millions of women around the world forgive guys like that every, single day.
This is why it’s important for you to understand that everyone makes mistakes in a relationship at times.
Yes, you definitely made mistakes with her, but your ex likely made some too.
Just like you’d probably never accuse her of being a horrible girlfriend because of the mistakes she made, don’t make yourself out to be a horrible boyfriend based on what you did wrong.
Of course, it doesn’t mean you should pretend that nothing happened.
Instead, use it as an opportunity to become an even better man than you were before.
That’s the main thing that separates emotionally weak guys from truly great men.
It’s not that a great man doesn’t make mistakes, it’s that he turns those mistakes into an opportunity to become better.
He learns from his mistakes and what he did wrong and quickly improves and changes.
So, instead of beating yourself up for breaking your girlfriend’s heart, use it as motivation to help you quickly become the kind of man that she wants to forgive and get back into a relationship with.
3. Get clear on how you will approach the relationship differently from now on and why
Without a strong why, a guy can fall back into his old habits and then both the man and woman won’t be happy in the relationship.
For example: A guy’s reason why might be because he feels guilty for hurting his girlfriend and breaking her heart.
He wants to make it up to her so he can stop feeling so bad about it all the time.
Yet, that’s not a strong why.
The reason is it’s based mostly on how he feels (i.e. bad) and what he wants (i.e. to stop feeling so guilty).
Essentially, it’s about him and what he wants.
However, when he gets what he wants (i.e. he stops feeling guilty for what happened) then it’s almost certain that he will go back to his old behavior.
As a result, the same problems will eventually arise and cause his girlfriend to feel unhappy again.
This is why it’s so important that your approach to the relationship is different, not because you want to feel better, but because you want the relationship to become better in the long term.
When you approach getting your girlfriend back in that way, you will be able to make the correct changes to your thinking and behavior that are also permanent.
She will then see that you truly understand her and what went wrong before and as a result, she will be able to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you right away.
That will then motivate her to forgive you and give the relationship another chance.
4. Briefly and sincerely apologize to her on a phone call, or a voice text if she won’t answer your call
Don’t send a huge text, because not only can it overwhelm her, there is also a chance she might take something you write the wrong way (i.e. based on her current negative perception of you) which can then lead to misunderstandings, or her not wanting to interact with you anymore.
On the other hand, when you talk to her on a call or in a voice text, she naturally gets to hear the sincerity as well as confidence, manliness and emotional strength in your tone of voice.
She can sense that you’re not being needy, desperate or emotionally weak and becomes open to the idea of seeing you in person again.
Important: Make sure that you don’t go on and on about how bad you feel for breaking her heart and possibly even listing all your mistakes one by one.
A short, sincere apology that gets to the point is enough to convey your remorse, without causing you to come across as emotionally weak or needy.
5. Meet up with her and create new sparks between you
One of the most effective ways to get an ex woman to meet up with you is by suggesting that you try to be friends from now on.
For example: When on a call with her, focus on using some humor to ease the tension between you and make her feel more comfortable talking to you again.
Then, when she’s feeling relaxed and open you might say, “Hey, it’s good to see that we are able to talk as friends again. Let’s celebrate that by catching up for a quick cup of coffee or a bite to eat sometime this week. Of course, it’s not about getting back together again, but rather about proving to ourselves that we can still be friends; that we are mature enough to do that. So, let’s just catch up and say hi as friends. Which day suits you best this week?”
Most women who’ve had their heart broken, will be reluctant to agree initially, so don’t worry if she doesn’t immediately jump at the chance to meet up with you.
The important thing is to remain calm and confident and make it clear to her that it’s just a friendly catchup and nothing more.
You can even add that if she never wants to talk to you again after that you’ll respect her decision.
She will then likely agree, even if it’s because she thinks she can get rid of you if she agrees.
Of course, that won’t happen, because you’re going to create a new spark of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her at the meetup.
For example: Things that create new sparks are…
- Being flirtatious and playful and building up sexual tension between you which then motivates her to want to touch, hug, kiss and even hook up sexually again to release it.
- More confidence or manliness to the point where she feels more girly and feminine around you. In other words, just because you said you and her were going to be friends from now on, it doesn’t mean you act like a neutral friend around her who isn’t interested in her anymore.
- Humor and laughter. As the expression goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.” When you make her laugh, she stops focusing on all the negatives about you and all the ways you hurt her and she opens to the possibility that you truly have changed and improved.
- Being assertive in a loving way, rather than acting like a ‘yes man’ man around her and making her feel as though she now has way too much power over you (i.e. you’re now like her puppet and she can pull your strings and make you do whatever she wants).
6. Let her sense that a relationship with you would feel better than it ever did before
A common mistake that guys make when talking to an ex girlfriend is to say things like, “We were happy before. Remember how we used to…” and then list all the good times he remembers them sharing together.
When a guy uses that approach it’s usually because he’s hoping to prove to her that if they were happy before, then it’s possible for them to be happy again.
Yet, that doesn’t take into account that his girlfriend might have been secretly unhappy during times that he thinks of as good memories.
For example: He might mention a party they went to together.
He was happy with her during that time, but she was actually feeling turned off by the way he was behaving (e.g. not giving her enough attention, seeming to flirt with other women, not even noticing the effort she made to look beautiful for him).
So, when he uses those memories as examples of how happy they were, it has the opposite effect (i.e. it reminds her of times that she secretly felt hurt or turned off by his behavior).
This is why the best approach is to focus on making her feel happy, excited and attracted now, rather than try to remind her of the past.
When you approach it in that way, she realizes that a relationship with you would feel so much better now, than it did then.
As a result, she becomes open to getting back with you.
7. Let her know that you accept the breakup and don’t expect you and her to give each other another chance
For example: You can say, “Hey, things didn’t go the way we had hoped and I’m really sorry about that. I just want you to know that I completely accept the breakup. Of course, I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to work things out and get back together again, but I don’t expect us to give each other another chance. It’s over now and I accept that.”
By saying that, you’re letting her know that even though you do still miss and want her back, you’re not going to act like a needy, desperate ex boyfriend and try to force her into giving you another chance.
This automatically takes the pressure off her.
It also allows her to notice how she really feels.
For example: She gets upset at the idea of losing you for real.
That causes her to realize that she still has some feelings for you too.
As a result, she becomes more open to interacting with you to see where things go, rather than walking away and regretting it later on.
8. Hook up with her if she’s open to it, or walk away and give her a few days to a week of space after the meetup
As long as you use interactions with her to continue building sexual tension between you and her, chances are high that she will be open and even eager to release it with touching, kissing and sex.
When you have sex again, it makes it easier for her to fully forgive you and open up to getting back together again.
You can then get her back into a relationship built on mutual trust and the knowledge that the two of you went through a breakup and are now even stronger and better than ever before.
Of course, not every woman is open to hooking up right away and that’s okay.
Don’t push it.
Instead, give her up to a week of space so she can realize that she misses you.
Then after a week meet up with her again, spark her feelings some more, hook up and get the relationship back together again.
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