Here are 4 possible reasons why she doesn’t feel the same way at the moment:

1. You’ve been trying to get her back via text

It’s only natural that after a break up, a guy is going to miss his ex.

He’s going to be thinking about her and remembering all the good times they had together and how he felt around her.

As a result, and he’s going to want to fix things with her so that he can get her back and not lose access to those enjoyable feelings.

Yet, he might also be feeling a bit worried that she won’t want to talk to him on the phone.

So, he may think something like, “If I call her and tell her that I miss her, she could take it as a sign that I’m trying to push her into a relationship. She might then close herself off from me and I will lose whatever chance I still have with her. On the other hand, if I text her, she will appreciate the fact that I’m not being a pushy ex boyfriend. It will also give her time to process her feelings for me and hopefully realize that she misses me and wants me back too. She will then be more open to working things out with me.”

As a result, he will stick to texting her.

She may reply to some texts, but she will eventually go cold and lose interest.


Well, here’s the thing…

When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s disconnected from her sexual and romantic feelings for him.

So, when she gets an “I miss you” text from him, rather than think, “It feels good to hear that he misses me. I can now admit to myself that I miss him too and if we both feel the same way, maybe there’s a chance we can work things out between us after all,” she instead thinks things like, “What is he expecting me to do? Does he now want me to pick up the phone and call him and say ‘I’m so glad you told me, because I miss you too?’ If this is his idea of trying to get me back, he’s in for a big surprise! Doesn’t he realize that it’s going to take a lot more than telling me that he misses me to make me forgive him and open back up to the idea of being with him again? I’m not just going to fall for him again based on the fact that he’s missing me. For all I know, he’s just saying that because he misses the way I used to pick up after him/my cooking/the idea of having a woman available for sex any time he wanted. However, I’m not his maid/cook/sex toy and it’s going to take a lot more than an ‘I miss you’ text to convince me that he’s changed and is willing to be the kind of man I want him to be and right now, I’m not convinced at all! Instead, all I see is a man who doesn’t even have the balls to call me on the phone or talk to me in person. Instead, he’s just hiding behind text messages and hoping I will make it easy for him by telling him that I miss him too. Well that’s not going to happen! If he wants another chance with me, he’s going to have to show me that he’s the man I want and so far, the only thing he’s accomplished is to convince me that I made the right decision by breaking up with him.”

She then responds to him in a negative way and tells him that she doesn’t want him.

So, if your ex is saying something like that to you, it may be because you’re trying to get her back via text.

However, not only won’t that work if she’s lost touch with her feelings for you (i.e. because she’ll automatically perceive it in a negative light), she will likely also feel annoyed that you don’t care enough about her make the effort to at least talk to her on the phone.

Remember: You can’t properly re-attract an ex woman (who doesn’t want you) via text.

Texts can help, but you should never use them as your main way of getting her back.

If you’re serious about getting your ex back, you need to start reactivating her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.

The best way to do that is by calling her on the phone and then following through with a meet up, where you can re-attract her, face-to-face.

When she can see for herself that you really are a new and improved man now, it becomes a lot easier for her to want you back, because she can see that she’s not getting back with the same man that she broke up with.

You are different now, so it’s like she’s getting a new kind of man (i.e. one that she feels a lot more respectful towards and attracted to).

So, remember: If you try to achieve it all via text, don’t be surprised if she keeps pushing you away and saying things like, “Sorry, but I don’t want you anymore. You need to accept it and stop bothering me.”

Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t want you is…

2. She can see that you haven’t changed

She can see that you haven't changed

Sometimes, a guy might think that telling his ex that he misses her is the way to go about getting her back.

Essentially, he’s hoping she will think something along the lines of, “I miss him too! I know we have some stuff we need to work out, but the pain of being without him is much worse than what we need to fix. Now that I know he still cares for me too, we can forget about the break up and give our relationship another try,” and then come rushing back to him.

Yet, it rarely works out that way.


Even if a woman does miss her ex, the first thing she’s going to look out for when he interacts with her (e.g. via text, social media and especially over the phone and in person), is whether he has understood some of her subtle, deeper reasons for breaking up with him and what he’s done to change and improve based on his new-found understanding.

For example: Some of the things she will look out for might include…

  • The way he talks to her and treats her both in private and in front of other people (e.g. like she’s stupid or a child).
  • The way he struggles to make decisions without her approval or say-so.
  • The way he’s too afraid to stand up to her when she’s being unreasonable or a drama queen.
  • How he tends to get overly emotional and act like a woman (e.g. cry, create drama) when things don’t go his way.
  • How he gets annoyed or angry over insignificant things when they’re out together and embarrasses her by causing a scene (e.g. shouts at waiters, gets road rage while driving, is argumentative with sales staff in stores).
  • The way he lacks presence as a man (e.g. he goes in on himself in social situations and tends to come across as anti-social).
  • How he seems so focused and driven when playing video games, but when it comes to his career, he’s unable to accomplish anything significant.
  • How he is too emotionally dependent on her which makes her feel smothered and like she has to stifle her independence to take care of him.

So, if she talks to him over the phone or meets up with him in person and she sees that he still thinks, acts and behaves in exactly the same way that he did before, she’s going to be disappointed.

She may then think something along the lines of, “All this time I’ve been missing him and wondering if he would be able to change so we could work things out. I now see that there’s really nothing for me to miss anymore. What I thought I was missing isn’t him, but the feeling of being in love with a man who makes me feel like a real woman . In reality though, he’s not that guy and I can see that now. He probably won’t ever be able to be like that either. I guess I now know for sure that I made the right decision to break up with him and I should just focus on moving on and finding myself a new man who does have the qualities I’m looking for.”

She will then push him away and say something like, “I’m sorry that you still miss me, but I don’t want you in my life anymore. I need to move on and make a fresh start with someone else, so please accept it and stop trying to make me change my mind.”

The guy is then left feeling devastated and wondering why she won’t give him another chance.

This is why, if you want your ex to care that you miss her and miss you back, you need to first show her that you understand her reasons for breaking up with you, by quickly making some changes to yourself to attract her in the ways that are important to her (e.g. you’re are so much more confident and emotionally independent now, you’re more focused on your goals and are taking steps to accomplish then, you’re more emotionally strong and no longer lose it when things don’t go your way).

Remember: You don’t have to become perfect to get her to open back up to you again, just better than you were before.

Then, when she sees for herself that you’ve made the effort to become a better man, she naturally drops her guard and opens up to the idea of giving you another chance, rather than pushing you away.

Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t want you is…

3. She knows that you still have no idea what kind of attraction experience she really wants, or how to give it to her

She knows that you still have no idea what kind of attraction experience she really wants

For a woman to feel motivated to be in a relationship with a guy, treat him well and be a good woman to him, she expects him to be able to make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (e.g. respectful, attracted, excited).

So when a guy fails to understand that about her and keeps giving her things she doesn’t want, she will naturally stop wanting to be with him.

Is it possible that you have been giving your ex the wrong attraction experience and are still doing it now that you’ve broken up?

For example: Imagine a woman is in a relationship with a guy.

She needs him to be ballsy, not get flustered or emotional when she creates fake drama and can put her back in her place in a loving, but dominant way.

However, instead of that, she gets a guy who is too emotionally sensitive, is always nice to her no matter how badly she treats him and who allows her to walk all over him.

In his mind he thinks that he’s being a good guy and that she will love him even more for always letting her get her way.

Yet, except for a few insecure, needy women who like to dominate their man, most women will secretly feel disappointed at how they ended up with such a wimpy guy.

Of course, a woman usually won’t break up with her guy because of that right away and may instead misbehave even more to see if he’ll get fed up with her and man up.

However, if he doesn’t she will eventually lose too much respect and attraction for him and she will then break up with him.

If he then tries to get her back, she may act cold, aloof and bitchy towards him to test if he’s really changed, or if he still has no idea how to give her the attraction experience she’s been looking for all along.

For example: She might say something like, “I don’t know if I want you back. Call me again in a week while I think about it.”

If the guy agrees to her ridiculous request and continues to be nice and sweet to her in the hope that she will give him another chance, she will know that he’s still doesn’t have a clue about what she wants from him.

She will then likely cut him out of her life and focus on moving on and finding herself a new man.

On the other hand, if he laughs at her in a loving, yet assertive way when she says that and then turns it into something they can laugh about together, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling surges of respect and attraction for him again, even if she initially tries to hide it.

When that happens, her guard comes down and she becomes open to giving him another chance.

With this in mind, ask yourself, “Do I know the attraction experience my ex wants from me and how to give it to her, or do I still have no idea?”

If you do know what she wants, then you’re a lot closer to re-attracting her and making her want you back again.

However, if you still have no idea, it’s very important that you get to the core reasons for the break up and begin to fix those things (e.g. if you were too insecure and became too clingy and needy you now become more confident and self- assured, if you lacked the masculine edge she needed to feel like a feminine woman with you, you now think, act, behave and respond to her like an emotionally masculine man).

When you do that, you will easily be able to reactivate your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you again and get her back.

Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t want you is…

4. You’re trying to get her to want a relationship, even though you haven’t reawakened her feelings

Trying to get her to want a relationship before reawakening her feelings

For a woman to want to give her ex another chance, she needs to reconnect with her sexual and romantic feelings for him first.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t know that, so when they try to get an ex back, the first thing they do is push her to commit to the idea of a relationship right away.

A guy like that will likely be thinking things like, “I miss her and I want her back,” so it makes perfect sense to him that the next step is to convince his ex to want to get back together again too.

So, rather than re-attract her, which will almost certainly work, he instead tries to convince her in ways that she doesn’t care about (e.g. promising her to change anything she wants, begging and pleading with her, sending her long love letters/e-mails/texts and pouring his heart out to her, buying her flowers and gifts).

Yet, in most cases, rather than make her want him, she instead just keeps rejecting his attempts to get her back.



A relationship is the last step of the ex back process, not the first one.

He is attracted to her, wants her back and is willing to do anything to make it happen, but the one thing he hasn’t done is make her feel the same way about him.

Therefore, she doesn’t want to commit to a relationship.

So, if you want your ex woman to stop rejecting your attempts to get her back, you have to focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you first.

For example: Some of the ways you can do that are…

  • Using humor to bring down her defenses and make her smile and laugh with you again.
  • Maintaining your confidence around her, no matter what she says or does to put you off (e.g. she is being distant and unfriendly towards you and saying that just doesn’t want you in her life anymore).
  • Being assertive (in a loving way) and showing her that you’re more emotionally dominant than ever before and that you’re not intimidated by her recent rejections of you.
  • Flirting with her to build up sexual tension between you and her.

When you focus on re-attracting your ex and take the pressure off her to give the relationship another chance, what you wanted from her all along actually starts to happen.

She stops pushing you away and saying hurtful things like, “What will it take for you to accept that we’re never, ever going to get back together again? Can’t you understand that I just don’t want you anymore?” and she opens back up to interacting with you more on the phone and in person to see what happens from there.

3 Common Problems You Could Experience When Trying to Get an Ex Back Who Doesn’t Want You

By the way…

When you try to get your ex back, don’t be surprised if she behaves in any of the following ways:

1. She is cold or distant

When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy and then breaks up with him, she changes the way she thinks about him and looks at him.

Basically, she closes herself off and no longer allows herself to see any of his good qualities and she instead focuses on all the negative things about him that turn her off (e.g. he’s insecure and needy, he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to her, he is too emotionally sensitive).

So, if her ex then starts texting her and calling her in the hope of getting her back, she will naturally respond to him by being cold and distant, because she has only been connecting to her negative feelings about him and doesn’t have any positive feelings to balance out how she feels.

This is why, before you put any pressure on your ex to get back with you, you need to change her negative feelings into positive ones by thinking, acting, behaving and responding to her in ways that are attractive to her (e.g. being confident and self-assured, being emotionally masculine, using humor to ease the tension between you).

When you make her feel good every time you interact with her, she won’t be able to stop herself from warming back up to you.

Another problem you might encounter when trying to get an ex back who doesn’t want you is…

2. She is being stubborn about not changing her mind

In most cases, a woman will only be stubborn because the guy is going about the ex back process backwards.

Basically, he’s pushing her to give him another chance, but he hasn’t fully reactivated her sexual and romantic feelings for him yet.

So, if you want your ex to want you again, don’t waste time telling her how you feel about her and that you miss her.

What matters to her is how she feels and if you haven’t reactivated her feelings for you yet, what she feels is negative emotions like anger, disappointment or indifference.

This is why you need to focus on changing those feelings inside of her first.

When she starts to reconnect to her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again, her stubbornness will disappear too.

Another problem you might encounter when trying to get an ex back who doesn’t want you is…

3. She doesn’t seem to care about losing you

Most of the time, for a woman to get to the point where she wants to break up with a guy, it means she has already disconnected with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.

This means, the idea of never seeing him again seems very appealing to her.

In fact, she may even be thinking things like, “I’m so glad to be single again. Now I’m free to live my life and find myself another man who can give me what I truly want in a relationship, rather than be stuck with a guy who just doesn’t get me at all.”

She just doesn’t care anymore so losing him isn’t a problem to her.

This is why, if your ex doesn’t have strong feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you, losing you isn’t really going to matter to her.

On the other hand, if you interact with her every chance you get (via text, social media and especially over the phone and in person) and you reawaken her feelings for you, the idea of losing you will send her into a panic.

She will begin to wonder if letting you go is a mistake she will regret for the rest of her life and when that happens, her defenses come down and she opens back up to the idea of giving you another chance.

Want Her Back FAST?

Watch a secret video by Dan Bacon where he reveals the fastest way to get your ex back.

It's only available here. Enter your email below to watch the video for FREE right now.

Yes, I want free tips via email from Dan Bacon. I can unsubscribe at anytime with a click. Privacy policy.