4 common reasons why a woman will do that to an ex:
1. She enjoys hurting ex’s by showing how happy she is after a break up
Some women are just mean and vindictive and enjoy rubbing things in an ex’s face just to make themselves feel better by hurting him.
Essentially, a woman like that is hoping that when her ex sees how happy she is without him, he will regret breaking up with her and think something along the lines of, “I was such an idiot for letting her go. Now I see that she’s truly the woman I want, but it’s too late because she’s happy and moving on without me.”
It then gives her a false sense of power and makes her feel more valuable and wanted.
In some cases, a woman might rub things in her ex’s face because of how she was raised as a child (e.g. her mother used to do that to the men in her life, she never had a strong female role model so she doesn’t know how to behave after a break up), or because of some experiences she had with previous relationships (e.g. she was badly hurt by a guy and struggled to get over him so she promised herself she would never let that happen again and that she will be the one moving on first after a break up).
So, even though your ex is currently rubbing things in your face, it’s not necessarily about you.
Instead, she may simply be reacting the only way she knows how.
So, don’t let her actions cause you to lose confidence in yourself and in your value to her.
Instead, the next time she does something like that, rather than get upset about it or feel hurt, use it as an opportunity to spark her feelings for you.
How can you do that?
By using some humor to take the bite off the situation and show her that you’re not affected by her bitchiness.
For example: Imagine you’re talking to your ex over the phone or in person and she says something like, “I can’t believe how great it is to be single! I’ve been out with my friends every night this week. I’m having an amazing time. If I’d known how great my life would be without you, I’d have dumped you ages ago!”
Basically she’s hoping you will get upset and possibly even say something like, “Why are you being so mean to me? I know I stuffed up, but I really did try to be a good guy to you. Can’t you at least be a bit nicer to me now rather than rubbing how much fun you’re having without me in my face?”
She can then feel good about herself.
However, you’re not going to react like that.
Instead, you’re going to laugh (in a confident yet loving way) and you’re going to respond by saying something like, “You always were a bit of a bore when we were together, so it’s nice to see you having fun for a change. I’m happy for you. Keep it up. You’re so much more interesting to talk to now.”
She’s likely going to be a bit shocked that you have the balls to call her a bore and she’s also going to be surprised that you’re not getting upset by what she’s saying.
However, she’s also going to be feeling surges of respect and attraction for you for having the courage to joke with her when she’s clearly trying to annoy you by rubbing her new-found happiness in your face.
She will then naturally drop her guard a little bit and open up to interacting with you more (i.e. to check if you really have changed and become more confident and self-assured, or if it was only a once off thing).
You can then show her that you really are a new man now, fully re-attract her and get her back.
Another common reason why a woman will do that is…
2. She is trying to get revenge for how you made her feel during the relationship
For a woman to be happy in a relationship with a man and want to stick with him and be good to him, she needs to feel like she can look up to him and respect him for being a real man (i.e. loyal, dependable, caring, trustworthy).
So, when a guy fails to put in enough effort in the relationship and instead does things that make her feel unloved, unappreciated and possibly even betrayed (e.g. he takes her for granted, cheats on her, is controlling, belittles her and doesn’t support her dreams), it’s only natural that a woman will feel resentful towards him after they break up.
She may then rub things in his face to get revenge on him for everything he put her through when they were together.
So, as nasty as that may sound to you, the fact is, even a nice, sweet woman can turn mean when she feels like she’s been manipulated, lied to or treated badly by a guy.
This has a lot to do with a woman’s natural instincts of wanting to find one man, get him to fall in love with her and stick with him for life.
Most women don’t want to have to break up with a guy because their natural instinct is to try to make the relationship work.
So, when a guy stuffs up really badly and makes a woman feel like she made the wrong decision by choosing him, she gets really nasty because he has been wasting her time (i.e. a woman wants to know that her relationship with a guy will eventually lead to more serious things like moving in together, getting married, having children).
This is why, if you want your ex to stop rubbing things in your face and get her back, you need to fix and improve some of your issues and become the man you know you should be.
When she can see for herself that you are a new and improved man already and that if she gets back with you, you’re not going to go back to making the same attraction mistakes and treating her the way you did before, she’ll be able to start trusting you again.
When that happens, her defenses will come down and she will open back up to talking to you and hanging out with you again to see where things go.
Another common reason why a woman will do that is…
3. She’s trying to get you to see that she’s not interested in getting back with you
Every woman is different.
Some women just come right out and say, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore. I don’t want to see you ever again,” whereas others resort to all sorts of weird ways of expressing the same thing.
For example: A woman might…
- Flirt in front of her ex with other guys to show him that she’s moving on.
- Say things like, “I’ve never been happier than I have since we broke up,” “I love being single,” or “There are so many guys out there that are better than you in so many ways and they want to date me,” just to put him off.
- Talk about a new guy she’s into with her ex.
- Talk about her dates and how the guys spoiled her (e.g. took her to an expensive restaurant, bought her flowers).
Essentially, she’s hoping that her ex will feel unwelcome to try and get her back and will leave her alone, without her having to come out and say that to him directly.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even if your ex is rubbing things in your face as a way of showing you that she’s not interested, it doesn’t mean you can’t change how she feels and get her back.
To make your ex change her mind and make her want you back, you have to make her feel the way she really wants to feel when she’s around you (i.e. respectful, sexually and romantically attracted, happy, excited).
Getting her back is not about telling her how much you love her and need her, how you promise to change or how you’ll never hurt her again.
She doesn’t care about all that.
She broke up with you because you didn’t make her feel the way that she really wanted to feel around a man (e.g. because you might have been too insecure, lacked balls around her, treated her more like a neutral friend than a desirable woman).
So, if you want her back, you need to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
Only when she feels rushes of respect and attraction for you will she stop rubbing your face in things and open back up to the idea of being your girl.
However, if you don’t do anything to spark her feelings and just try to convince her to give you another chance based on your feelings for her, she will simply keep doing more and more things to put you off so that you can leave her alone.
Another common reason why a woman will do that is…
4. She never really loved you, or never truly committed to the relationship
Sometimes a woman will get into a relationship with a guy she’s not 100% attracted to, or compatible with (e.g. because it’s a rebound relationship, she’s afraid of being single so she settles for him, she was never interested in him but he pursued her so much that she gave in and agreed to date him).
That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care for the guy at all and she may even be hoping that over time, he will be able to create a relationship dynamic that will make her want to treat him well, be attentive and fall deeply in love with him.
Yet, that just doesn’t happen, because he has no idea how to grow her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
So, rather than giving her the attraction experience she really wants (e.g. to be with a confident, emotionally strong man who is a bit of challenge and doesn’t fall for her drama), he instead gives her what he thinks she wants (e.g. he’s extra nice and sweet to her regardless of how badly she treats him, he’s clingy and needy and constantly says things like, “You are my world,” or “I don’t know what I’d do if you ever broke up with me”).
In his mind he’s being a loving, devoted boyfriend.
However, in her mind he’s giving her the kind of attraction experience she doesn’t want.
Of course she doesn’t admit that to him and eventually she just decides to break up with him and move on, which is easy for her, because she never felt the kind or attraction and love for him that would cause her to struggle to get over him.
If the guy then tries to get her back by behaving in ways that turn her off even more (e.g. he begs and pleads with her for another chance, her cries to her, he sends her long, emotional letters/e-mails/text messages declaring his undying love for her), rather than feel bad for hurting him, she may actually rub things in his face to discourage him from pursuing her.
The good news though, is that even when a woman is being mean and rubbing things in her ex’s face, it doesn’t mean her feelings are set in stone and can’t change.
In fact, if you interact with your ex and begin giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you (e.g. being ballsy and emotionally masculine with her, maintaining your confidence regardless of how cold or even bitchy she’s being, being more of a challenge to her rather than being too nice or a push over), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling surges of respect for you.
When she begins to respect you again, she will also start to feel attracted to you and you can then build on those feelings and make her truly fall in love with you this time.
So, don’t let it bother you that your ex is rubbing things in your face at the moment.
Just interact with her, reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you and all of that will change.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making With an Ex Who Keeps Rubbing Things in Your Face
If you want to get your ex back, it’s important that you approach the ex back process in the right frame of mind.
If you don’t, you’ll end up making mistakes that will diminish your chances.
For example: 3 mistakes to avoid are…
1. Misinterpreting her happiness as her wanting to rub it in your face
It’s never a nice experience to feel like you’re being left behind and watching the woman you love move on and being happy without you.
Yet, that doesn’t mean she’s trying to rub her happiness in your face to make you miserable.
Instead, it could be possible that you’re looking at her in a negative light.
In your mind you may be thinking things like, “She’s selfish for breaking up with me,” or “Why won’t she just give me one more chance to show her that things can be different now? She’s just being stubborn,” or “I can’t believe how heartless she’s being. Even though she knows that I still care for her and want her back, she’s rubbing her happiness in my face.”
Although it may temporarily make you feel a little better to see your ex as the evil villain in your relationship story, it’s possible that she’s just making the best of a difficult situation.
Maybe she’s hurting too.
However, rather than sitting around wallowing in misery and becoming more and more depressed, she has made the conscious decision to be happy, with or without you.
Now it’s your turn to feel happy, with or without her.
This does not mean you have to be with new women.
Instead, it means that you should simply stop obsessing about what she’s doing and focus on living a happy, fulfilling life without her.
When you do, something amazing happens.
She starts to feel attracted to you again.
Suddenly, she starts to see you as being more of a catch than you were before.
She notices that you are a new man now and she likes it.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Seeking pity from her
In some cases, if the guy can’t cope with how his ex is treating him, he may decide to make her feel sorry for him and feel guilty about the pain he is experiencing, by saying things like, “How could you do this to me? We’ve only recently broken up and look at how you’re behaving. Did you ever really love me or was it all an act? I can’t imagine treating you this way. It would break my heart to cause you pain, even if we are broken up. The question is, do you have a heart? I’m not so sure. I just don’t know who you are anymore!”
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Damn, he has a point. I really am being a bit of a bitch to him. He doesn’t deserve that. He’s always been so good to me. I was lucky to have him love me as much as he did and he clearly still cares so much for me. Maybe I’ve been too hard on him after all. Maybe he deserves another chance,” she will likely just feel annoyed that he is trying to make her feel guilty for being happy without her.
As a result, she will lose even more respect for him and she may even rub things in his face even more to get back at him.
So, if you don’t want to push your ex away from you and get her back, using the pity card is not the correct approach for that to happen.
Re-sparking her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, so she naturally feels drawn to you and becomes open to giving the relationship another chance, for her own reasons.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Giving up on getting her back because she seems happy without him
Sometimes, when a guy sees that his ex has moved on, he may think to himself something like, “Well, I guess it’s too late then. I don’t stand a chance anymore. She seems so happy without me.”
As a result, he gives up and never makes a move to get her back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even if a woman has fully gotten over her ex and moved on, it doesn’t mean he can’t get her back.
In fact, a man can get a woman to break up with her new guy, if he successfully reactivates her feelings for him again and then follows through on the rest of the ex back process.
He has to get her on a phone call with him and regardless of how offish and unwelcoming she might sound at first (e.g. she says things like, “What do you want? I’ve moved on and I now have a boyfriend, so we have nothing to talk about”), he needs to maintain his confidence with her and then use ballsy humor to break down her defenses and ease the negative tension between them.
The more he makes her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to him again, the more respect and attraction she will feel for him.
It then becomes difficult for her to stick to her decision to be broken up with him, because he is reawakening all the positive feelings she associates with him that have been dormant inside of her (e.g. respect, attraction, love).
She then becomes open to meeting up with him in person to see how she feels.
On the other hand, if a guy just gives up and walks away, he may end up spending the rest of his life wondering, “What if she was the one for me,” and never being able to truly settle down and be happy with another woman.
Don’t let that guy be you.
Be courageous enough to get your ex back.
Then, if you decide that she’s not the right woman for you, you can walk away knowing you didn’t lose her because you were too worried about her reaction to try.