4 possible reasons why your ex girlfriend added you on Facebook:
1. She wants to see if you have moved on without her
Sometimes a woman will worry about her ex guy moving on before she’s had a chance to hook up with another guy first.
So, she will add him on Facebook as a way of checking up on him.
Based on his posts, she might be able to find out if…
- He has been going out and having fun with other people, or has been spending a lot of time alone.
- He has only hanging out with his single male friends and doesn’t appear to have been around any new women.
- Has been hanging out with new women in different situations.
- He is still single, or if he is dating a new girl.
Essentially, she will be trying to find out if she still has time to move on before he does.
She will be hoping to see sad, lonely posts from him, so she can feel better about herself and know that he is struggling without her.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend added you on Facebook is…
2. She wants to see if the new you will make her feel attracted and want you back
Even if the break up felt right to her when she did it, a woman will often end up missing her ex and wanting him back, especially if she can’t find a suitable replacement guy to move on with.
When she misses her ex, she might begin to think, “I wonder if he has changed at all since we broke up? Maybe if I add him to Facebook, I’ll be able to see if he has. Then, if he has changed and improved, it might be possible for us to get back together again. I might want to see him again and get him back.”
She then adds him on Facebook to see what happens.
Imagine this…
A guy was very insecure and overly dependent on his girlfriend during the relationship.
As a result, he became clingy and needed her constant reassurances to feel good about himself and his value to her (e.g. always asking if she loved him, telling her to promise to never cheat on him or leave him, checking her phone to see if she was chatting with anyone else).
She then dumped him because she couldn’t deal with his insecurity anymore.
Yet, since dumping him, she has kind of missed him and is now wondering if he has changed.
So, to test him and see if he can make her feel attracted again, she adds him on Facebook and waits to see his reaction.
Will he jump all over any small sign of interest from her (e.g. by quickly trying to initiate a conversation with her, or immediately sending her a private message saying things like, “I’m so glad you’ve added me on Facebook again! I’ve missed you so much. Does this mean you’ve forgiven me for stuffing things up between us? I hope it does, because I’ve really felt lost without you. I miss you. Please, let’s talk”), or will he remain calm and relaxed?
Will he feel unworthy of her and ignore her because he doesn’t know what to say, or will he believe in himself and confidently make her feel attracted to him again (e.g. by using humor, being charismatic)?
Depending on his response, she is either going get a sense that he has become a new and improved man since the break up (e.g. more confident, self-assured, easy-going, emotionally independent), or that he’s continuing to be the insecure, needy guy he was in the relationship.
If he can make her feel attracted via Facebook and then progress to talking to her on the phone or in person, she will drop her guard and open up to potentially being with him again.
However, if he turns her off in the same old ways, she’s going to keep her guard up and possibly even unfriend him or block him and then try to move on.
In the same way, your ex girlfriend may have added you on Facebook to test you and see how you would react.
She wants to see whether or not you’ve changed and improved and are now able to give her the attraction experience she always wanted from you.
Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend added you on Facebook is…
3. She wants you to check out her new photos and miss her more
Sometimes, a woman will add her ex on Facebook to let him know what she’s been up to since the break up.
If she currently hates him, she may want him to see that she’s been having a fun time and moving on without him, rather than feeling sad or depressed about their break up.
He might then feel jealous that she’s moved on so quickly and regret hurting her.
On the other hand, in a case where a woman still has some feelings for her ex, she may be hoping that when he sees photos of her having fun without him, he’ll miss her even more and possibly make a move to contact her so that they can meet up.
Remember: The way that women behave doesn’t always make sense.
Sometimes a woman really likes a guy and acts like she doesn’t like him, to hopefully get him to try harder.
This is why you shouldn’t ever worry so much about what a woman is saying or doing.
What you need to focus on is being attractive as you interact with her (e.g. being confident, emotionally masculine, funny, charismatic) and then having the courage to make a move and get you and her to the point where you hug, kiss, have sex and get into a relationship.
Some women make things a lot easier than others, whereas some women act a little weird due to their insecurities.
This is why you always need to believe in yourself as a man and take action to get you and her to the next level, rather than waiting for her to lead the way.
So, your ex may have added you to Facebook because she is hoping that you feel jealous and start chasing her.
Alternatively, she might have added you because she wants to rub her happiness in your face.
Either way, the solution is the same: Interact with her, make her feel attracted to you, get her to meet up with you, build on her attraction at the meet up, hook up with her and get her back.
4. She’s trying to send you a signal that she’s open to you getting her back
After a break up, many guys feel trapped between wanting their ex back and not knowing what to do to make it happen.
For example: A guy might think, “I really want her back, but when we broke up, she told me to never talk to her again. So, if I try to contact her, she’ll get annoyed and hang up on me. I feel so stuck. I do want to work things out between us, but I don’t know how to go about making contact with her without causing her to hate me even more. It’s a hopeless situation.”
So, rather than sending her a text to say “Hi,” or calling her on the phone to spark some of her feelings for him again, he doesn’t do anything.
Essentially, he’s waiting for his ex to send him a very clear sign that she’s open to talking to him again, so he can then make a move.
In most instances, this doesn’t happen because many women are insecure and don’t want to get rejected by their ex and end up feeling hurt, or because she doesn’t want to seem desperate for pursuing him after breaking up with him.
Rather than contacting him and helping him get her back, she just focuses on moving on without him.
However, if she really wants him back, a woman will sometimes take the first step of adding her ex to Facebook, to hopefully send him a signal that she’s now open to interacting with him again.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s going to make it overly obvious that she’s open to the idea of him getting her back.
Instead, after making the first move (i.e. adding him on Facebook), she’s just going to wait for him to take the lead in the ex back process.
In a way, she’s testing him to see if he is now man enough to do what needs to be done to get her back, or if he will sit around feeling unsure of himself and waiting for her to lead him by the hand.
If he doesn’t take the lead like a man, she may assume that he hasn’t changed in the ways that are important to her (e.g. become more confident and assertive) and she will continue trying to move on without him.
In some cases, she will see his lack of action as meaning that he isn’t interested, so she will unfriend him and possibly even block him.
So, if you want her back, don’t waste time wondering whether or not you should contact her.
No matter what her reasons are for adding you on Facebook, you should look at it as the opening you need to get her back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Attract an Ex Back Via Social Media
Facebook and other social media sites and apps are a great way to re-attract an ex woman after a break up.
Yet, rather than use this resource to their advantage, many guys ending up turning their ex off even more and convincing her she made the right decision by breaking up with him.
To avoid turning your ex off, ensure that you don’t make one or more of the following post break up, social media mistakes:
1. Not posting up any photos of yourself having fun with other people
Sometimes a guy doesn’t want his ex to see that he’s having a good time without her because he worries that it will cause her to seek revenge by doing the same.
So, even if he’s going out with friends (e.g. to clubs, bars, parties), doing fun and interesting things (e.g. has joined in on fun activities in his local area, is taking a new nighttime course) and is generally enjoying his life without her, he avoids putting up any proof of that on his Facebook page.
In his mind he’s thinking, “If she realizes that I’m having a fun life without her, she will assume that I don’t want her back. She will then focus on moving on and finding herself another guy. I can’t let that happen. So, I’m going to make sure that I don’t post any photos of myself having fun with anyone else. Hopefully, this will give her the message that I’m not moving on without her and she will be more open to interacting with me. We can then work things out between us.”
Yet, the opposite is true.
Even though women don’t go around openly admitting it, they are more attracted to guys who are confident, happy and enjoying life with or without them.
Although a woman wants to be loved and appreciated, she doesn’t want to be responsible for her guy’s emotional security, sense of identity or be his reason for living.
If a woman has to do that, she feels more like his mother or big sister and not like his girl.
So, if a guy posts photos of himself having fun with other people, rather than make a woman want to move on (i.e. because he doesn’t need her to make him feel happy), it makes her want him even more.
He seems more attractive, appealing and likeable now.
Some guys don’t understand why because they assume that a woman’s attraction is based on what she SAYS.
A woman might SAY that she would be annoyed if she saw him having fun, but that’s not what actually happens to her.
When she realizes that he is being an emotionally strong man without her, she automatically feels attracted to him, even if she doesn’t want to.
It’s not something that she can turn off.
Women are naturally attracted to men who don’t base their identity or actions on a woman’s fake demands of his behavior (i.e. “Don’t have fun now that we’ve broken up. If I see you having fun, I will move on”).
Of course, most women won’t ever say something like that, but that’s what guys fear she will say.
Remember: Fears and what actually happens in reality are usually two completely different things altogether.
Likewise, a woman’s attraction for a man doesn’t always make logical sense (e.g. how women are more attracted to guys who don’t really try hard to impress them, even though women go around SAYING that they want a really nice guy who treats her like a princess and is very patient).
So, don’t be afraid to show your ex that you’re that emotionally strong, confident man by positing photos of yourself having fun with other people.
She will feel attracted to you because of it, even if she SAYS that she is annoyed, angry, disappointed or whatever.
The next mistake is…
2. Appearing sad, lonely or insecure in photos
Sometimes, a guy will use Facebook (or other social media apps like Instagram or Snapchat) as a way of letting his ex girlfriend know how devastated he has been feeling since the break up (e.g. by posting photos of himself looking sad and lonely).
Secretly, he’s hoping that when his ex sees how bad he’s feeling without her, she’ll think something like, “Wow, I never realized how much he needed me. He’s really falling apart now that we’ve broken up. I feel so bad for the pain I’m causing him. Maybe I should give him another chance,” and come running back to him.
Yet, that rarely, if ever happens.
Why?
Firstly, a woman doesn’t want to be manipulated into giving her ex another chance simply because he can’t deal with the idea of being dumped by her.
Secondly, emotional neediness is not an attractive trait in a man and simply confirms to a woman that she made the right decision to break up with him.
Thirdly, when a woman has disconnected from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her ex, him feeling sad and lonely without her doesn’t really matter to her anymore.
She has to take care of her own feelings now and focus on her own life, rather than spending time and energy trying to make her ex (that she’s no longer attracted to) feel better about himself.
In some cases, where a woman is really angry with her ex, seeing him appear sad and lonely might actually make her think something like, “Good! I’m glad he’s suffering! He deserves to be miserable after the way he treated me.”
So, if you want your ex to feel motivated to interact with you now that she’s added you on Facebook, make sure you don’t turn her off by appearing sad, lonely and helpless without her.
The next mistake to avoid is is…
3. Posting up selfies or lonely photos
Just like posting sad, lonely photos of yourself turns a woman off, so does posting a lot of selfies.
Why?
Although a guy might think a selfie is neutral and not rubbing what he’s been up to in his ex’s face, it actually has the opposite effect.
When a woman sees a lot of selfies of her ex on Facebook and social media, her first reaction is usually to wonder why he’s always alone and not hanging out with friends.
She might then make assumptions like:
- He’s not moving forward in life and is stuck at the same level he was at when she broke up with him.
- He’s not doing anything fun.
- He’s lost some of his friends since the break up.
- He’s hoping that she sees it and takes pity on him.
- He’s a confused guy who doesn’t understand that emotional weakness and loneliness isn’t sexually attractive to women.
Of course, none of those things might be true about him, but when a woman has broken up with a guy and no longer feels attracted to him, pretty much everything he does will be perceived in a more negative way.
So, if you’re going to post photos on your Facebook account, make sure that you include some of you smiling and looking happy with other people.
Don’t post lone selfies because they will not help you get her back.
The next mistake is…
4. Posting “pity me” status updates about life and relationships
A guy might post things like, “Feeling really depressed today,” or “Life is so dull these days! Hate being single!” or “Nothing to do this weekend once again. Binge watching Netflix and eating a lot” on Facebook as a way of letting his ex girlfriend know that he’s not moving on without her.
He’s hoping that she will feel sorry for him and then send him a message, saying something like, “Hey, how are you? You don’t seem to be doing well. Why don’t we meet up sometime?”
Yet, here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to feel like she’s doing her ex a favor by being with him.
She wants to feel like he’s the kind of guy she can look up to, respect and be proud to call her man (i.e. because he has changed and improved and taken control of his life), not like she has to take care of him because he’s too emotionally weak, insecure and lost without her.
So, if you want to make your ex girlfriend reconnect with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, don’t try to make her feel sorry for you at all.
Instead, focus on re-attracting her by showing her that you’re now the man she always wanted you to be (e.g. confident and emotionally strong, emotionally independent, determined and focused to succeed).
The next mistake that many guys make is…
5. Waiting for her to message him
A guy will see that his ex girlfriend added him on Facebook and will then wait for her to message him so they can start interacting again.
Yet, more often than not, a woman will wait for her ex to make the first move and start a conversation.
Essentially, she’s waiting to see if he has the balls/confidence to start the ex back process without any additional help from her (i.e. because in her mind, she’s already done enough by making the first move and adding him on Facebook).
If he can contact her and spark some of her feelings for him again, she will then drop her guard and allow herself to meet up with him to see where things go.
On the other hand, if he does nothing, she may assume that he’s not man enough for her and will then focus on finding herself a replacement guy and moving on without him.
The next mistake that other guys make is…
6. Sending her way too many messages and getting unfriended again
Sometimes a guy is so happy that his ex refriended him on Facebook that he goes overboard by sending her endless messages every day.
He’s hoping that by bombarding her with messages, she will realize how much he’s missed her and that he still loves her and wants her back.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that being too available and eager will turn her off and make her guard go up.
Here’s the thing…
A woman wants a guy to make her feel as though she needs to impress him and maintain his interest (at least a little bit), rather than him chasing after her like a lost little puppy.
If she gets a sense that she can treat him badly and he will still continue messaging her and hoping to get a chance with her, she won’t be able to respect him and as a result, she won’t feel attracted to him.
So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, make sure that you approach interactions with her in a way that causes her to feel attracted to you, rather than turned off by you.
When you do that, she will naturally open up and you can then get her on a phone call or meet up with her in person and get the relationship back together.
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