Only ignore her if you think that it will make her contact you and be more interested in seeing you.
If you’re 100% sure she will react in that way, here are 3 optional reactions other than ignoring her…
1. Send her a text to express your disappointment
There’s nothing wrong with letting your ex know that you’re disappointed about her flaking on you.
For example: Send her a text saying something along the lines of, “Hey Rebecca. We were supposed to meet today at 1pm. I’m disappointed that you didn’t turn up. Anyway, all the best. Love, Peter.”
Just make sure that you don’t sound whiny and insecure about it (e.g. ask her why she didn’t show up, tell her how hurt you feel that she flaked out on you, put in a sad face emoticon or sad emoji) or it will turn her off.
Instead, be direct and maintain control of your emotions by texting her something like the example above, or, “Hey Rebecca. Disappointing to see that you didn’t turn up today. Anyway, I hope you’re fine. Love, Peter.”
As a result, she will likely feel a bit embarrassed for standing you up.
She will also feel a surge of respect for you for being so emotionally mature about it and not reacting in an angry or childish way (e.g. trying to get revenge by setting up another meet up and flaking on her).
Another way to respond to your ex girlfriend flaking on you is to…
2. Call her and jokingly give her a hard time about flaking
Although women don’t go around admitting this, they actually want a guy who will confidently, but lovingly put her back in her place when she gets out of line.
One of the best ways to put a woman back in her place is by using humor to point out her bad behavior.
For example: Call your ex girlfriend and say something like, “Well! That’s the last time I ever invite you to catch up with me -you time waster! You’re such a little pain the butt, aren’t you?” and have a laugh with her about it.
Important: Don’t text that to her.
It’s best said on a phone call, so she can hear the confidence and playfulness in your tone of voice.
If you text it, she might assume that you really are pissed off at her, which will only make her close up even more.
So, don’t text it!
By the way…
Saying something like that to her is not about being rude or mean to her.
Instead, it’s about showing her, in a confident, light-hearted and loving way that you’re not going to let her mess you around.
Ironically, when you do that, she can’t stop herself from feeling respect and attraction for you and can’t stop herself from wanting to treat you better.
On the other hand, if you don’t have the balls to stand up to her in a dominant, but loving way, then she won’t feel the need to respect you or treat you better.
So, take the chance and be a bit more ballsy when you call her and playfully put her back in her place.
If you do it with enough confidence and relaxed assertiveness, she will absolutely feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
She will realize that you’re no longer going to be the flimsy guy that she has been able to push around in the past.
You’ve manned up…and that is sexy to her.
As a result, she will regret flaking on you and try to show you that she’s open to meeting up.
By the way…
If she flakes on you a second time, don’t let her get away with it.
What should you do?
Start getting on with your life without her and let her find out about it.
This leads us into the next example…
3. Ignore her and post up photos on social media of you having fun with other people
One of the best ways to attract an ex woman, is by letting her see that you’re happy, fulfilled and enjoying a fun life without her.
You can do that by posting lots of interesting and fun photos on social media for her to see.
- Photos of you and friends having fun (e.g. at a party, on the beach, doing something fun outdoors).
- Photos of you doing something cool with other women (e.g. dancing, cooking, hanging out at a café or restaurant, or playing a sport together).
- Photos of you away for a weekend (e.g. in Vegas, at the Grand Canyon, diving the Great Barrier Reef, visiting a winery with some friends, relaxing at the beach with some friends, going to some cool attractions in another city with friends).
By the way…
If she has unfriended you or isn’t following your social media pages, just change your settings to ‘public’ so that she can see it.
Pretty much every woman on the plant is curious about how her ex is doing after a break up and will take a look at his profiles to see what he’s up to.
So, if you ignore your ex after she flakes on you and start posting photos on social media, it will show her that her flaking on you wasn’t a big deal for you.
You’re not losing any sleep over it and in fact, you’re actually looking pretty damn happy, confident and cool now.
That automatically makes her feel attracted to you and makes her want to see you.
Suddenly, she begins to think things like, “This isn’t at all the reaction I was expecting. I thought he’d be feeling sad and depressed, but instead he looks like it didn’t even bother him that I flaked. Rather than sitting around moping and feeling sorry for himself like I imagined he would be, he’s out having fun and even hanging out with other women. He’s so different from the way he used to be. I kind of like him this way…more confident and in control of his life. Suddenly, I regret standing him up. Maybe I should call him and apologize. I really want to see him again. Why am I feeling this way? Why do I feel like I want us to get back together again all of a sudden?”
She then becomes open to the idea of meeting up with you again, this time for real.
Note: I know that many guys don’t want to post up photos of themselves having fun with other people because they fear it will anger their ex woman.
However, if you know how a woman’s attraction for a man really works, you will know that her seeing you happy and confident without her will make her feel attracted to you again.
4 Mistakes to Avoid Making if your Ex Girlfriend Flakes
Like most things in life, there’s a right way and a wrong way of doing something.
The right way will give you the results you desire and make you happy (e.g. get your ex girlfriend back), while the wrong way will cause you unnecessary stress and unhappiness (e.g. cause your ex girlfriend to lose even more respect, attraction and love for you and move on with a new guy).
So, if your ex girlfriend flakes, the wrong way to handle it is by making some or all of the flowing mistakes:
1. Getting angry or irritated at her
It’s understandable that getting stood up by an ex girlfriend will make a guy feel annoyed and possibly even angry.
It’s pretty damn disrespectful and rude of her, right?
However, no matter how irritated he feels, he can’t let her see that she’s gotten to him.
Quite often, when a woman agrees to meet up with her ex and then flakes, it’s because she’s testing him to see how he reacts.
For example: Will he remain confident and shrug it off, or will he start doubting himself and his value to her?
Will he become desperate and call her on to phone to beg her to give him another chance, or will he put her back in her place (in a lovingly dominant way) for her bad behavior?
In some cases, a woman might know from previous experience that her ex has a tendency to get angry and react in a bad way when things don’t go his way.
So, even though he might be saying to her, “Look, I’ve changed. I’m not like that anymore,” her flaking on him is a way of checking if he’s really telling the truth, or just putting on an act to get her back.
If he maintains his composure and handles the situation with confidence and an easy-going attitude, she will know he really has improved and will then open herself to giving him another chance.
On the other hand, if he gets angry or irritated with her, she’ll know that he’s still the same guy and will then close herself off even more.
Remember: In today’s world, a woman is not a man’s property.
She is a free individual who can get and out of relationships as she pleases.
A woman doesn’t have to stay in a relationship with a man if she doesn’t want to and she doesn’t have to meet up with him or give him another chance either.
So, getting angry with your ex girlfriend for flaking and causing a scene over it isn’t going to change her mind.
Instead, she is just going to close up even more and want to move on with a new guy even faster.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Seeking pity via text
A guy might decide to make his ex feel bad for flaking, by sending her a sad, ‘pity me’ kind of text.
Something like, “Why didn’t you show up today? I was waiting for hours. I looked like such a fool. Everyone knew I was being stood up. Why didn’t you just let me know you weren’t going to come? You didn’t even reply to my texts asking where you were. Does it make you happy to torture me like that? Sure, I stuffed things up between us, but you don’t have to keep punishing me for it over and over again. I’m a real person with feelings. Why would you do that to me? How can you be so coldhearted all of a sudden?”
Secretly, he’s hoping that if she sees how terrible he’s feeling, she will feel guilty about flaking, take pity on him and agree to meet up.
Yet, trying to make a woman feel guilty for causing you pain just doesn’t work.
If she’s no longer attracted to you, she doesn’t really care how much pain you are experiencing.
The only thing she cares about is whether or not she is feeling sexually and romantically attracted to you anymore.
If she is, then she will arrive at a meet up and be open to getting back with you.
If she isn’t, she will flake.
Of course, sometimes a woman will flake to test how you will react.
If you react in an attractive way, she feels attracted and then opens up to meet you the next time.
If you react in an unattractive way, she confirms to herself that you’re not man enough for her and forces herself to move on.
So, when a guy falls apart and starts looking for pity via text from an ex who flaked, it’s unlikely to make her think, “Awww, the poor guy! He’s really taking this so badly. I need to meet up with him right away and make it up to him.”
Instead, she’s more likely going to think, “Well I guess I have my proof now. Even if I wanted to before, I now know that getting back together with him would be a bad idea. He’s just too emotionally weak and wimpy for me. I don’t want to be with a guy who can’t even handle being stood up once like that. If something as insignificant as that can cause him to lose control, what will happen when he has to deal with other serious problems in his life? Will he expect me to take care of him? No thanks! I want a real man who doesn’t need pity and support from a woman to get over the bumps in his life. I want a man who is strong with or without the support of a woman.”
This is why seeking pity just doesn’t work with women.
It can sometimes work temporarily on women who have little or no experience with relationships.
However, most women know that if a guy is seeking her pity, he hasn’t yet worked out what it means to be a man, which then makes her feel turned off.
She realizes that she needs to find more mature man, rather than getting back with a guy who is still trying to figure it all out.
So, if your ex girlfriend flaked on you, don’t go looking to making her feel pity or guilt over it via text.
Instead, just focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When you do that, she naturally wants to see you again for her own reasons (i.e. she is feeling drawn to you now, she wants to kiss you again, she wants to have sex with you and see how it feels to be with you now).
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Ignoring her even though she doesn’t feel attracted to you, or if doesn’t care whether or not she ever speaks to you again
If you’re wondering, “My ex girlfriend flaked, should I ignore her?” ask yourself the following questions first:
Does your ex have strong feelings of respect, attraction and love for you right now, or are her feelings for you switched off?
Has she told you that she wants to get back together again, or is she saying things like, “I don’t know how I feel,” or “I need some time to think about what I want,” or even, “I just don’t see us being together anymore”?
Did she agree to meet up with you because you made her feel surges of sexual attraction and respect for you over a phone call (e.g. because you made her laugh and smile, you made her feel feminine and girly), or did she just agree to meet up simply because you kept pushing her?
Do you think she is missing you and hoping to get back together, or do you think that she is opening up to other guys to find a replacement and move on without you?
Are you more attracted to her than she is to you?
Depending on your answers, you may have already realized that unless you’ve re-sparked you ex girlfriend’s feeling of respect and attraction for you via other interactions (e.g. text, on social media and over the phone), ignoring her for flaking on you probably isn’t going to make her lose any sleep.
In fact, it might actually be the reaction she was hoping for (i.e. she now has the space to move on without you because you’re ignoring her).
On the other hand, even if she is secretly hoping that you and her will get back together, it’s unlikely that she’ll wait around for you forever, right?
She’s just going to move on if you don’t do anything to get her back.
So many guys make the mistake of cutting off contact with a woman who doesn’t really care that he’s not texting or calling anymore.
A guy will stop contacting his ex woman and hope that she comes running back to him.
Yet, she just moves on because she doesn’t even really care about losing him.
She’s not attracted to him or in love with him anymore.
If he wants her to care, he has to interact with her and make her feel attracted and in love again.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Not even addressing the fact that she flaked the next time he talks to her
Sometimes a guy won’t even mention his ex girlfriend’s bad behavior, in case he upsets her and she then decides not to talk to him anymore after that.
Yet, rather than make her more loving and respectful towards him and cause her to think, “Wow, he’s so polite and nice. He didn’t even say a word about me flaking on him. How can I resist such a nice guy?” she simply feels even more turned off by him.
Women don’t respect guys who put up with their bad behavior just to hopefully get to spend time with them.
As weird as it may sound, a woman doesn’t want to feel like she can behave like a brat and get away with it.
What she wants is a guy who doesn’t pander to her silly drama and instead, puts her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way.
So, if you’re tempted to ignore the fact that your ex girlfriend flaked, understand that you will be essentially letting her know that it’s okay for her to treat you badly because you’re not confident enough to stand up to her.
Is that what you want?
It’s not what she wants either.
You want her to respect you and feel attracted to you and she wants to be able to feel that way about you too.
The best way to do it is by showing her that you have the balls to call her out when she’s being a brat.
In other words, you can’t ignore the fact that she flaked on you.
The next time you talk to her, make sure that you mention her bad behavior in a dominant, but loving way (i.e. not in a whining, annoyed, sulking way).
For example: You can laugh and say something like, “Don’t play all sweet and innocent with me little girl. You flaked on me last time. So, when I see you next time, I’m going to have to spank you for being a bad girl!” and then laugh at her and with her about it.
Initially, she might be a bit shocked that you’re talking to her like that now, especially if you haven’t in the past.
Even if she doesn’t show it or admit it, she will be feeling surges of respect and sexual attraction for you for having the balls to not let her get away with disrespecting you.
She will then realize that you are now more of the confident, emotionally strong man she always wanted you to be and she won’t be able to stop herself from wanting to meet up with you for real.
When that happens, you can get her back and enjoy an even better relationship than you had before because she will be so much more attracted to you now.