If you’re saying something like, “I’m a rich and successful man, but my ex still isn’t interested in being with me,” and wondering why, here is the answer…
A woman needs to be in love with you, not your money.
Money is a bonus in a relationship, but it is not an essential for love.
Some women will date and even marry a guy for his money, but most women are more attracted to how a man makes her feel when she’s with him.
Who he is when she’s interacting with him is what matters the most to her.
For example: Some of the questions a woman subconsciously asks herself when she’s first thinking about hooking up with a man are:
- Do I feel good around him, or does he make me feel bored, or even turned off?
- Can I look up to him and respect him as a man, or do I look down on him a little bit?
- Do I feel like he’s man enough for me, or do I feel emotionally stronger than him?
- Does he make me feel feminine and girly in his presence, or do I feel neutral around him, or even worse, like a big sister or mother-figure to him?
These are the types of things that really matter to most to a woman in terms of being in love with her man and wanting to stay with him.
A man might be very rich and successful, but if he can’t make a woman feel the way that she wants to feel when she’s with him, it’s unlikely that she will say, “Well, okay…he’s really boring to be around, he’s arrogant and treats me like a child sometimes/or I feel like his big sister, but he’s rich and successful, so I’ll stick with him for life.”
That’s not how it works in most cases.
A woman needs to feel emotionally attracted to a man to want to stay with him.
So, if you want your ex to be interested in you, here’s what you need to do…
1. Understand Her Real, Hidden Reasons For Not Being Interested in Getting Back Together With You
Sometimes, a woman will break up with a guy and give him an excuse like, “Look, you’re a great guy but I need some space to sort myself out,” or, “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready to be in a serious relationship right now. It’s better that we break up now because I don’t want to hurt you.”
Yet, that isn’t her real reason for breaking it off with him.
She’s just saying that to soften the blow and be nice, so he doesn’t get angry.
If you read the examples above again, you will see that she isn’t actually telling him what he needs to change to get her back.
She’s just saying that she needs space or that it’s her fault, but that’s not what she is really thinking.
So, the most important thing that you need to do to make your ex feel interested in you again is to show her that you understand her secret reasons for breaking up with you, without her needing to explain them to you.
For example: Some of the secret reasons why a woman might break up with a guy include:
- He assumes that because he’s rich and successful she will stick with him regardless of how badly he treats her (e.g. takes her for granted, puts her in second place in his life, belittles her or criticizes her in front of others).
- He wants different things in life to her (e.g. he wants to travel around and live an extravagant lifestyle, while she wants to settle down and have a family).
- He bullies her and disregards her opinions.
- He treats her more like a trophy than like an attractive woman that he feels love and desire for.
- He is jealous and controlling and wants to know her every move.
- He is strong in business, but emotionally weak in relationships.
- She feels like more of a big sister to him.
- She hates how he just wants her to be a woman on his arm and not having any goals or dreams of her own.
- He gets nervous in social situations (e.g. around her friends, family or coworkers).
- He thinks he can buy her love by paying for her rent, bills and buying her expensive gifts, but what she really wants is to feel respect, attraction and love for how he makes her feel when they spend time together.
- He is too serious and tense about things all the time and she can’t seem to relax and feel happy around him as a result.
- He fails her confidence tests by becoming insecure or angry when she throws a tantrum, acts uninterested in him or stops being affectionate.
- He lives a boring lifestyle and doesn’t do much or anything fun.
- He tries too hard to impress her by doing lots of fun things, but she just doesn’t respect him as a man, so it’s not fun for her. She likes going to new places and doing new things, but she’s not fully in love with him yet, so it always feels a bit awkward.
- The emotional issues he has reminds her of an ex or her abusive father, so she wants to get out before she gets too involved in the relationship.
- He can’t seem to get along with her family and friends, who are an important part of her life.
- She thinks that he’s just too good for her and is only with her because he can’t get other women, but if other women show him interest in future, he may dump her and leave her behind.
Can you relate to any of those possible reasons why she broke up with you?
If you answered yes, then good – you now have an idea of what you need to change about yourself to reawaken her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Then, when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call and especially in person) you can show her via your body language, behavior, the way you talk to her and the way you respond to her, that you are now a very different man from the one she remembers.
She will be able to see for herself that some of the things that were turning her off about you are no longer an issue and you have already improved in the days, or weeks, since she broke up with you.
When that happens, she won’t be able to stop herself from thinking, “Something is different about him. He’s really changed. Maybe we can work things out between us after all.”
On the other hand, if you don’t fully understand her reasons for saying, “I’m not interested in being with you anymore,” chances are high that you will keep saying and doing the types of things that were turning her off in the past and have been turning her off since the break up.
You’ll likely keep offering her the type of things that don’t really matter to her (e.g. to pay her bills, buy her expensive gifts) and she’ll just keep saying, “Thanks. You’re really sweet, but I’m just not interested in getting back together again.”
2. Begin Changing or Adjusting the Things About You That Have Been Turning Her Off
Understanding why your ex isn’t interested in being with you is a good start, but that alone is not going to make her change her mind.
Essentially, if your ex has lost respect and attraction for you as a man, to make her want you again, you first have to prove to her (via your actions and behavior) that you’re not the same man she broke up with.
You can’t tell her that you’ve figured it all out and that you’ve changed, because she’s probably not going to believe you.
For example: She might say, “Yes, yes. I’ve heard that plenty of times before from you. You’re always saying that you’ve changed, but when I give you another chance, you’re just the same emotionally weak/controlling/critical/self-absorbed guy you’ve always been. Forget it! I’m not interested in being with you anymore. Just leave me alone.”
So, don’t try to tell her that you’ve changed.
Instead, show her.
If you want to make your ex change her mind about you, you need to show her via your behavior, the way you think and act, what you say to her and the way you respond to what she says, that you’re now at a different level from when she broke up with you.
For example: Some common mistakes that a rich, successful man might make that will keep turning his ex off include the following:
- Paying for her rent or expenses to make her feel dependent on him.
One of the most common mistakes a rich guy will make when trying to get his ex back, is fall into the habit of paying for her expenses, so she feels like she needs to still have him in her lfie.
He might say to himself, “If I pay for all her expenses and rent, she will see how lucky she is to have someone in her life that cares for her the way I do. She’ll also realize that she actually can’t cope without my support and will then want to get back together again.”
Yet, paying a woman’s expenses rarely makes her change how she feels about a guy.
When a woman has lost respect and attraction for a guy, him paying all her expenses might even annoy her and make her resent him.
She may think, “How shallow does he think I am? Does he really think that he can buy my love? Doesn’t he understand that I need to have feelings for him to want to be with him? Feelings don’t come from paying my expenses.”
She then may decide to use him financially to get back at him for assuming that her feelings are for sale.
So, if you want to make your ex change her mind about being with you, don’t try to make her financially dependent on you in the hopes that it make her realize how much she needs you.
Instead, focus on making her emotionally dependent on you by sparking her feelings of respect and attraction, so she feels like she needs to be around you more to feel good, feel happy and feel in love.
Then, if you also happen to pay for her rent or her expenses (if you want to), she will think, “Wow! I’m the luckiest girl on earth to have such a great man. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make him happy so that he will never leave me.”
- Buying her an expensive ring to show her that he can take care of her.
Sometimes, a rich guy may think that the main thing a woman thinks about when choosing a guy, is whether or not he can take care of her financially.
He might then decide to show her that he can take care of her by buying her an expensive ring.
Yet, being financially stable is not the only thing that makes a woman feel taken care of.
Even though a woman likes the idea of being with a man who is financially capable of taking care of her and any children that might come along, she also wants to feel that he is emotionally strong enough to take care of her as well.
For example: A woman can be very emotional and she might even cry or get upset for no reason…several times per month in some cases!
She might pick an argument with her guy over seemingly insignificant things, or she might say, “I’m fine” and then get angry with him for not realizing that what she’s actually saying is, “I’m not fine and I need you to hold me or pay attention to me for a minute to make me feel better.”
However, when she’s being an emotional woman, getting an expensive ring is unlikely going to make her feel taken care of.
Instead, it just makes her feel like a spoilt brat who is getting what she wants for being a bad girl.
That’s not a healthy way to build a relationship.
Your woman should be rewarded for good behavior, not bratty, selfish behavior.
So, what should a man do instead?
If she’s being a pain in the butt and throwing tantrums for no reason, he just needs to remain emotionally strong, laugh about it and not take her so seriously.
If he does that rather than getting annoyed with her or desperately trying to suck up to her to hopefully stop her from being such a brat, she’ll know that he is man enough for her and she will feel both taken care of and attracted to him at a deep instinctive level.
The fact is, a guy might be able to take care of a woman financially, but if he crumbles emotionally when she challenges him, she won’t feel taken care of in the way that she really wants.
- Offering to take her on an expensive vacation.
A man who is rich and successful may sometimes think that if he can give his ex something she cannot pay for by herself (e.g. an expensive vacation), she’ll suddenly change her mind about him.
Secretly, he’s hoping that she’ll say to herself, “Without him I would never be able to have this kind of luxury in my life. I’ve been such a fool to break up with a rich and successful man like him,” and she will then become interested again.
However, in most cases, a woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because he can take her on expensive vacations, she falls in love with him because of the way he makes her feel.
There are some women who use men for their money, but that isn’t love.
Love happens when a woman respects you, feels attracted to you and is happy about how she feels when around you.
Essentially, if a guy can trigger a woman’s feelings of respect and attraction for him, she will want to stay with him even if all he can afford is to set up a tent in his back yard.
Crazy, I know, but that’s how most women are.
Women do like men with money, but they like men who make them feel respect, attraction and happiness more than rich men who make them feel bored, uncomfortable and turned off.
So, if a rich man (who has been turning his ex woman off) tries to buy her love by offering to take her to the most expensive resort in the world, she will usually just say something like, “Thanks. That’s really nice of you, but I’m not interested.”
By the way…
If you make her feel respect and attraction again and then offer the vacation, then that’s a different story.
Start with respect and attraction and then everything you do after that will be appreciated by so much more.
Of course, just don’t fall into the trap of trying to buy her love. It doesn’t work.
You may get some temporary interest, but lasting interest and love is based on real feelings of respect and attraction for who you are and how you make her feel when you interact with her.
- Being extra nice to her in the hopes that she sees how much he cares.
Another common mistake that rich guys make when they are trying to get an ex back is to be extra nice to her.
For example: A guy might say, “If I’m really nice to her and make myself available to her every need, she will realize how much I care for her. Then, even though she’s been saying that she isn’t interested in being with me, she will change her mind and we can be together again because she will realize that no other man will treat her as well as I do.”
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t understand is that when a woman is saying things like, “Look, I know you mean well, but I’m just not interested in being with you,” it’s usually because she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to him anymore.
This often happens because he’s trying to win her over with traits (e.g. niceness, politeness, compassion) that don’t even make a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on.
A woman only feels love and sexual attraction for those traits if she feels respect and attraction for a guy first.
Respect and sexual attraction has to come first, not niceness and generosity.
Even though she might appreciate that he’s being really nice to her, it’s not going to make her change her mind about being with him.
Rather than her thinking, “He’s so nice. I just can’t resist him. I have to be next to him, kiss him, have sex with him and never let him go” she will usually be thinking, “He’s a good guy, but I just don’t feel anything with him. I’m lucky to have a nice, sweet friend like him who cares for me, but I don’t want a friend, I want a boyfriend or husband.”
She may continue to keep him in her life as a friend, but she will be actively trying to find a new man to replace him as a soon as possible.
So, don’t waste your time being extra nice to your ex in the hopes that she will realize how much you care for her and decide to get back together with you based on that.
Instead, make her interested again by triggering her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When your ex sees that you no longer think, act and behave in the ways she felt turned off by (e.g. insecurity, jealousy, controlling behavior), she will feel respect for you and begin to feel drawn to you again.
3. Interact With Her Right Away and Let Her Experience the New You
You can sit around saying, “I’m a rich, successful man, but my ex still isn’t interested in being with me,” and hope that she will somehow realize that she made a big mistake and call you up, or you can take action to get her back right away.
Naturally, when a woman is saying things like, “Leave me alone. I’m just not interested in being with you anymore,” a guy might feel like he needs to step back for a while and let her come to her senses.
He might then wait around for weeks, or even months, in the hopes that she will call him up and say, “I’ve realized my mistake. You’re a rich, successful man and I would be crazy to let you go. Will you please take me back?”
Yet, unless a woman is still secretly in love with a guy, or is really struggling to find a replacement guy, she will rarely call up her ex if she doesn’t hear from him for a long time.
She may contact him just to check that he’s still missing her, but if she discovers that he still wants her back and hasn’t yet changed the things about himself that secretly turned her off, she’s just going to keep moving on.
If she doesn’t contact him, she will likely say to herself, “Well if he hasn’t made an effort to contact me after all this time, it must mean that he didn’t really love me in the way he said he did. He’s obviously moved on with his life, so I’m not going to sit around waiting to hear from him anymore. It’s over and I’m moving on and will find myself a man who isn’t afraid to love me and work through any relationship problems we encounter.”
So, don’t waste a lot of time waiting around and hoping she’ll change her mind all by herself.
Actively interact with her and make her feel something for you again.
Even if she’s being cold and distant and saying things like, “I don’t want to talk to you. I’m just not interested,” rather than give up, you can turn it around by making her smile, laugh and feel good when talking to you.
The more you make a woman smile, laugh and feel happy, the less she can hold onto her negative, angry feelings about you.
She will be impressed when she sees for herself that you are no longer at the same level you were at when she broke up with you.
When she’s suddenly faced with the kind of man that she can now look up to, respect, feel attracted to and love, it will be difficult for her to keep saying, “No, I’m not interested in being with you.”
Her walls will come down and she’ll realize that falling back in love with you is one of the most amazing feelings she has ever experienced in her life.