When a woman says that she loves you but doesn’t want to be with you, it’s usually because she has lost a lot of respect and attraction for you over time.
So, what you need to do is…
Make Her Love You Again By Getting Her Respect Back and Making Her Feel Attracted in New Ways
You attracted her into a relationship at the start and most likely enjoyed a lot of good times together, right?
The sex was probably pretty awesome at the start and both you and her most likely really loved each other, true?
Well, that’s all good, but it’s not enough.
Watch this video for more info…
For a woman to want to stay with you for life, she needs to be able to look up to, respect and feel attracted to you as the relationship continues.
If you were able to make her feel that way at the start, but then destroyed her feelings (e.g. by becoming insecure or by taking her for granted and treating her badly), then it’s just not enough to make her want to stay.
She might put up with it for a while (even years), but she will eventually get to the point where she wants to break up and try to find a new man.
So, if your ex is currently saying things like, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or “I love you, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you,” it’s likely because she doesn’t feel enough respect and attraction for you right now to want to stick with the relationship.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t change how she feels.
You can get her respect back for you and make her feel differently.
How can you do that?
By changing and improving the things she has been complaining about and making her feel attracted in new ways that she probably has never told you about.
For example: If your ex felt more like a friend, or worse, more dominant and powerful than you in the relationship (e.g. because you let her make most of the decisions or allowed her to push you around), you now need to make her feel girly and feminine by being more masculine.
If she says something like, “I love you, but I don’t want to be with you” rather than getting upset, angry or insecure, be strong enough (i.e. be emotionally masculine) to make light of the situation and get you and her laughing.
You can say, “Cool, me too. I love you, but I don’t want to be with you because your cooking is horrible,” or, “I agree. I love you, but I don’t want to be with you because you snore so damn loudly that I can’t get a good night’s sleep. I’ve been sleeping so well since we broke up” and then have a laugh with her about that.
Of course, you’re only joking and are not trying to say mean things to her to hurt her.
Instead, you are showing her that you are masculine by being emotionally strong enough to remain strong and create a funny moment, rather than being emotionally sensitive, insecure and weak and pleading with her for another chance.
This is important because she needs to be able to see that she can relax and trust that you really are the man now.
That’s what a woman wants.
She doesn’t want to be the stronger one who is always in control of the dynamic.
She wants you to be masculine enough to lead the way and create a dynamic that leads you and her back to love.
She wants that now and when you and her are back together in a relationship.
Women always want that.
They want a man who can take control and not get caught up reacting negatively to her mood swings and changes in feelings.
If you can show your ex that you’ve become so much stronger (emotionally) since the break up, she will automatically feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Naturally, she will try to test you (e.g. by putting you into the friend zone, being disrespectful towards you, saying mean things), but it’s up to you to stand up to her (in a firm, but loving way) and show her that you’re not the pushover she remembers.
This doesn’t mean that you treat her badly.
It simply means that you don’t let her get away with trying to dominate you.
You are the man and you are the more dominant one.
When she notices that you no longer react like she expects you to (e.g. getting upset, being extra nice to her in the hopes that she will change her mind, giving in to her demands), she will begin to respect you again.
When that happens, she will become open to feeling attracted to you and will naturally begin to reconnect with her feelings of romantic, sexual love for you.
She may start to wonder, “Why am I feeling different all of a sudden? I know I said that I don’t want to be with him, but now my love for him feels different. Before I felt fine with the idea of being just friends with him, but now it just isn’t enough for me. The idea of losing him to some other woman scares me. What is going on? What should I do? Maybe I should just give him another chance and see how it goes.”
This is why it’s so important to get your ex’s respect back for you first.
The more she respects you, the more she will feel attracted to you and the more attracted she feels, the less she will be able to keep telling herself that she loves you, but doesn’t want to be with you.
You Can Quickly Regain Her Respect For You
Respect is not something that’s given for nothing; it is earned.
So, if you want to earn your ex woman’s respect, you need to think, act and behave in ways that make her feel like she can look up to you and feel proud to call you her man.
For example: Some of the personality traits and behaviors that earn a woman’s respect for a man are:
- Confidence and emotional strength.
- The ability to take the lead in the relationship, thereby allowing her to fully relax into being a feminine woman.
- Emotional independence (i.e. having a purpose, goals, dreams, interests and friendships that are separate from his relationship with her).
- Emotional masculinity (i.e. being more emotionally dominant than his woman, maintaining control of his emotions during challenging moments or times, not being sensitive like a woman).
- Reaching for his true potential as a man and never giving up until he achieves his biggest goals and dreams.
- Being a man of his word (i.e. someone a woman can depend on and trust).
On the other hand, some of the behaviors and personality traits that cause a woman to lose respect for a man are:
- Insecurity and self-doubt.
- Not being ballsy enough in his relationships and in life.
- Being needy and clingy.
- Not having a purpose in life outside of his relationship with her.
- Taking his woman for granted.
- Treating her more like a neutral friend or a big sister, rather than his feminine, sexy woman.
- Needing her to tell him what to say and do to be the kind of man she needs him to be.
- Being overly protective, jealous and controlling.
- Lacking confidence in his value to her and other women in general.
So, from now on, depending on how you think, behave and interact with your ex, you will either be earning her respect and making her feel sexually attracted to you, or losing her respect and making her feel turned off.
Every time you interact with your ex (e.g. via text, e-mail, on social media, on a phone call and in person) you need to ask yourself, “Is the way that I’m thinking and behaving right now making her feel respect and attraction for me, or am I turning her off?”
As long as the answer is “Yes” and you are turning her on, you are on the right track to getting her back.
3 Tactics That Won’t Work on Her
Sometimes, when a woman says, “I love you but I don’t want to be with you,” a guy hopes that he can convince her to change her mind by being more loving and romantic towards her.
He might then try to re-spark the love between himself and her by using one of the following tactics…
1. Telling her how much he cares.
It can be very frustrating for a guy to be faced with a situation where his ex is saying that she loves him, but at the same time, saying that she doesn’t want to be with him.
He may wonder, “If she really loves me, then why doesn’t she want to be with me? Either she is lying about loving me, or she’s just confused. Maybe she doesn’t realize just how much I really love her. That must be it! I have to let her know. I have to tell her exactly how much I love her, care about her and how much she means to me. That way, she will realize that I am the one for her and that no other guy will ever love her as much as I do.”
He might then pour his heart out to her and say things like, “You mean the world to me. No matter how you feel about me right now, I’m going to wait for as long as it takes for you to realize that we are meant to be together. No other guy will ever love you the way I do. When you realize that, you will want to be with me again. I just know it. Please just do one thing for me. Remember that I love you and I will always love you.”
He’s likely hoping that by telling her how much he cares, she will suddenly realize that she made a mistake and change her mind.
However, in most cases, a woman just won’t care how much she means to her ex, if he doesn’t know how to make her feel attracted in the ways that she secretly wants.
For example: He is very soft, gentle and nice to her all the time, but she actually prefers a man who is more confident, assertive and even a little rough (not too much) at times.
She won’t tell him that of course, because she doesn’t want to be responsible for shaping who he is as a man.
She wants him to be himself and if it’s a match for her, she will go along with it.
However, if who he is doesn’t make her feel attracted in the ways she secretly wants, she will just try to move on.
She may feel flattered that he loves her so much, but she’s not going to change her mind simply because of that.
For her to care about how much he cares about her, she needs to feel like she will be winning by getting back together with him because he is now able to make her feel attracted in the ways that really matter to her.
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t waste time telling her how much you care for her, because if she’s not feeling a lot of respect and attraction for you right now, it’s just not going to matter to her.
She’s going to keep saying things like, “I love you, but I just don’t want to be with you anymore. I don’t want to be in a relationship. I just want time for myself. Please give that to me. If you love me, you will respect my wishes.”
Another tactic that doesn’t work is…
2. Buying her gifts.
When trying to re-spark a woman’s feelings some guys will lavish her gifts in the hope that she will be amazed by his generosity and want to be with him, so she can be spoiled with even more gifts.
He might say to himself, “If I buy her a thoughtful gift, or some of the things that she’s always wanted (e.g. a pair of expensive earrings, a special bracelet, a new phone) she will realize that no other guy will love her and take care of her the way I do. She will then get worried that she might lose me forever and will come running back to me. I’ll show her that I am willing to give her anything to be with her and that will make her realize that I am the one. I love her more than any other guy would.”
Yet, even though a woman might be very happy to be spoiled in such a way, it doesn’t mean that she’s going to change her mind about the break up.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her; she falls in love with a guy because of the way he makes her feel when she’s around him.
Of course, some women date and even marry guys for what they can get, but most women don’t.
Likewise, most women who marry rich men end up divorcing them because the man is unable to make her feel respect, attraction and love when she is around him.
He’s able to buy her things, but the feelings just aren’t there, so she leaves.
Most women (95%) fall in love with a guy based on his personality, behavior and inner qualities, not his money.
This is why guys who work as a waiter, cleaner, basic mechanic, engineer or office clerk can attract and have sex with hot women and get them into a relationship or marriage that lasts for life.
What really matters to a woman is how a guy makes her feel when she’s around him.
For example: If a guy is confident, charismatic and emotionally masculine, a woman is going to feel attracted to him and enjoy being around him.
If he happens to buy her a gift every now and then, she will appreciate it because it’s coming from him, but she won’t need it to be in love with him.
On the other hand, if a guy is insecure, awkward and emotionally sensitive, it won’t matter if he’s spoiling her with gifts because he will be turning her off at a deep level.
So, if you want your ex back, just focus instead on saying and doing the types of things that will re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. being confident, making her feel feminine and girly, being emotionally dominant, being charismatic).
That’s what really matters and what actually gets an ex woman back.
Finally, another tactic that doesn’t work is…
3. Being really sweet to her.
A guy might sometimes think that the key to getting his ex back is being extra sweet and nice to her.
He might say to himself, “Maybe I just didn’t take care of her as well as she wanted me to. If I’m really nice and sweet to her from now on (e.g. do whatever she wants me to do, always agree with her opinion, help her out with errands/homework/chores and even pitch in and help pay some of her bills), she will realize that I’m the one who loves and takes care of her. She will see that no one else in her life is as good to her as I am and then she will want to get back together again. I’ll show her that I’m the nicest, sweetest guy she will ever meet in her life.”
Unfortunately, that just doesn’t work to get a woman back because women can see right through it.
A woman can sense if a guy is just being sweet and nice to her to manipulate her.
If she senses it, her guard goes up and it becomes even more difficult to get her back.
Additionally, even though a woman may appreciate that her ex a sweet guy, if he’s not really addressing the real issues in the relationship, it’s not going to sway her.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was a pushover and let her control him, then him being really sweet to her is just going to highlight to her that he still does not understand why she broke up with him.
Alternatively, a woman might have broken up with a guy because he stopped making her feel feminine and girly in the relationship.
So, when he’s being sweet to her as a way of getting her love, respect and attraction back, she’s not going to suddenly going to feel more like a real woman in his presence.
She secretly wants him to be more ballsy and assertive, but she isn’t going to tell him that.
She’s going to wait and see if he has it in him, or if he’s just a soft, wussy guy that she should get rid of once and for all.
Here’s the thing…
Although there is nothing wrong with being sweet to a woman, you need to focus on doing more than that to get her back.
Feeling nice, supported and appreciated is great, but it doesn’t get her sexually excited and longing to be with you.
If you want to get your ex back for real, you have to make her respect you and feel sexually attracted to you as a man.
She has to be able to sense that you’ve quickly transformed and are now so much more of a man than you were before (i.e. by the way you talk, behave and react to her).
If she senses that, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you and when she does that, she will start to change her mind about not wanting to be with you.
That’s what works.
Not telling you how much you care, buying her gifts or being extra sweet or nice to her.
So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, focus instead on using every interaction that you have with her from now on (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call, in person) to trigger her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Making some changes and improvements to the way you talk and interact with her (e.g. talking in a more masculine way, rather than being soft, gentle or self-doubting in your tonality).
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your presence (e.g. by not suppressing your natural masculinity and just letting her sense that you are clearly the man and she is clearly the woman).
- Reacting differently to what she says and does (e.g. not getting upset when she says that she loves you, but doesn’t want to be with you and instead turning it into something to laugh about together).
- Making her smile, laugh and feel happy when she’s interacting with you.
- Showing her that you’re at a different emotional level now.
When you show her (via the way you talk, think and behave) that you’re a different man now, even if she tries to ignore it, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to the new you.
Her mind will begin to wander and she will imagine being back with you, hugging you, kissing you and having sex with you.
If you have made her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction, those images in her mind will be appealing and will excite and interest her.
When that happens, her guard comes down and her feelings of love for you begin to come back.
She then goes from saying, “I love you, but I don’t want to be with you,” to “I’m in love with you and I never want to let you go ever again.”