So, your girlfriend is leaving you and you don’t know what to do.
Here are 5 important tips to follow that will ensure she wants you back now or within a few days…
1. Don’t Start Begging
When a woman tells her guy, “I’ve had it. I’m leaving you! It’s over between us,” it can come as quite a shock to him.
Not knowing what else to do, he might then start begging her to give him another chance.
For example: He might say something like, “Please baby, don’t do this to me! Don’t go! I can change. I’ll be whatever you want me to be and I’ll do anything you want me to do; just tell me what you want and I promise that I will do it. I love you! If you give me one more chance, I promise you that things will be different between us. I beg you! Please stay!”
Yet, in most cases, rather than make a woman think, “Hmmm, this guy must really love me if he’s willing to do anything for me,” his begging and pleading actually pushes her away even more.
She then begins to add, “Emotionally weak, needy and desperate” to the list of things that are turning her off about him and her decision to leave feels like the right thing for her to do.
Most women don’t want to be in a relationship with the kind of man they can’t look up to and respect.
So, when a guy is begging, pleading and coming across as desperate, a woman will likely think, “I know he’s acting this way because he loves me, but if he can’t handle a simple break up without falling apart like this, what are the chances that he will be able to handle other, more serious issues in his life? I don’t want to be with a guy who is emotionally weak and needs me to support him and hold him up when things get tough. I want a man who is confident, self-assured and emotionally strong enough to take care of me through the difficult times in life.”
By the way…
If you’ve already tried begging your girlfriend not to leave; don’t worry about it.
You can recover from a mistake like that.
Write it off as a lesson learned and focus on being an emotionally strong guy from now on whenever you interact with her.
For example: The next time you’re talking to your girlfriend over the phone, or in person, you can laugh and say to her, “I guess I overreacted there a bit didn’t I? Who was that blubbering, begging wimp anyway? I suppose I reacted like that because I still love you and I didn’t want you to leave me. However, I now know I should have been more mature about it and I accepted your decision like a man. So, I’m sorry for begging and pleading with you like that. I accept your decision to break up, but I still love you and do wish we could get back together.”
Will saying something like that to your girlfriend make her change her mind?
No, but it’s a good start because she can see that you’re being emotionally mature about it, which will make her feel respect and attraction for you.
To fully stop your girlfriend from leaving you forever, you have to focus on making her feel respect and attraction for the new you, every time you interact with her from now on.
Watch this video for some examples on how to do that…
2. Don’t Ask Her to Tell You What You Need to Change
Another common reaction that guys have when their girlfriend says, “I’m leaving you,” is to ask her what she wants him to do to get her to change her mind.
A guy might say, “Just tell me what it is that you need me to change and I’ll do it.”
Yet, asking a woman to tell you what she wants you to change about yourself, is as good as saying to her, “I have absolutely no idea how to be the man that you need me to be. I need you to teach me how to grow up and become the kind of man you can look up to and respect. Can you do that for me babe? Can you be my teacher and guide in life on how to be a man? I couldn’t learn those lessons from my father, grandfather, brothers or cousins, so I need you, a woman, to teach me. Can you do that for me?”
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be your teacher about how to be a man in a relationship.
She wants you to figure it out on your own, make some changes to yourself, and show her (via your thinking, actions, behavior and conversation style), that you are now the kind of man that she can feel proud of, look up to, respect and feel attracted to.
So, an important question for you now is this: Do you know exactly what is causing your girlfriend to want to break up with you?
If your answer is “No,” here are some of the reasons why she might be leaving, but won’t tell you about because she doesn’t want to teach you how to get her back…
- You’ve become too insecure, needy and clingy in the relationship with her.
- You’re not manly enough for her and she feels more like your friend or sister, rather than your girlfriend.
- You’re too much of a pushover and you let her get away with bad behavior, so she doesn’t feel safe with you because she can see that you don’t know how to stand up for yourself in an assertive, but loving way.
- You’ve been taking her for granted (e.g. letting her do all the housework or run all the errands, putting her in second or third place in your life, breaking your promises to her).
- You’re not reaching for your true potential in life (e.g. pursuing your big dreams and goals) and are sitting around wasting your life away (e.g. watching TV, playing video games, remaining stuck in a dead-end job).
Once you understand your girlfriend’s reasons for wanting to leave, you can begin to make some changes to yourself.
When she can see for herself that you have figured out what has been turning her off and have also taken action to improve those things in yourself, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man.
She won’t necessarily want you back just because of that, but it’s the right move to make.
To get her back for real, you need to be able to persuade her to give you another chance, which is something that I teach in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
If you’re not ready to get her back yet, or if she is really angry and annoyed by you, I recommend that you…
3. Give Her 3 to 7 Days of Space
Right now, you might be feeling panic and possibly even thinking that will never be able to get her back.
Most guys can get a second, third and even fourth chance with their ex woman, so you can too.
Some guys are able to get their ex back immediately, but most break ups last for about 3-7 days and then get back together if the guy is able to:
By being confident and mature enough to apologize to his girlfriend for his mistakes, he is showing her that he has learned from them and is taking positive steps to become an even better man than before.
As a result, he automatically re-sparks some of her feelings of respect and attraction for him and she then allows herself to drop her guard and reconsider her decision to leave him.
- Let her experience the new version of him that is more attractive.
A good way of letting her experience the new, more attractive version of you is by focusing on making her smile, laugh and feel happy every time that you interact with her.
This is very important for guys who got dumped for becoming too insecure or emotionally sensitive in the relationship or for not being manly enough.
Whichever ways you were turning her off, just make sure that you improve on those areas and, most importantly, believe that what you’ve done is making a difference to her feelings of attraction.
Confidence attracts women and insecurity and self-doubt turns women off.
- Remain confident as he guides her back into a relationship; especially when she is giving him mixed signals.
Sometimes, a woman will test a guy to see if he has really changed, or if he’s just putting on an act just to stop her from leaving him.
To make sure that the changes are for real, she might give him mixed signals (e.g. pretend that she wants to patch things up between them one minute and then say, “Forget about it, I’ve changed my mind,” the next).
If he remains calm and continue to focus on triggering her feelings (of respect, attraction and love) for him, she won’t be able to stop herself from dropping her guard and opening herself up to fixing the relationship.
So, if you want to stop your girlfriend from leaving you, give her 3 to 7 days of space to allow things to cool down between you and her (if necessary).
Then, get in touch with her (preferably on a phone call), actively re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you and get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
At the meet up, focus on letting her experience the new you and making her feel good to be around you again.
4. Begin to Fix the Things About You That Have Been Turning Her Off
One of the quickest ways to stop your girlfriend from leaving you, is to fix the things about yourself that have caused her to lose respect and attraction for you.
For example: A guy might have gotten into the habit of taking his woman for granted.
He may have:
- Put her in second place to his friends, family, hobbies and interests
- Become selfish and expect her to do all the housework, cooking or runs all the errands, even though he isn’t giving her the attraction experience that she wants when in a relationship.
- Expected her to stick with him for life because they were so in love at the start of the relationship.
- Become rude, mean or angry and expected her to put up with it.
- Focused too much on his work or studies and expected her to just wait in the background and see him from time to time.
So, if he wants to stop her from breaking up with him, the guy has to first understand that his behavior made her feel taken for granted, unloved and unappreciated and then improve his relationship skills to the point where she believes that he’s more loving and mature now.
Another example break up scenario is where a woman wants to leave a guy because she’s sick and tired of all the fighting and arguing in the relationship.
To make her change her mind, the guy needs to show her that he’s learned from his mistakes and that he now responds to things in a more mature way.
For instance, if she does something that would ordinarily upset him and cause him to get annoyed and possibly even start shouting at her, he now just turns it into something they can both smile and laugh about together.
She then can see for herself that she’s no longer stressed out around him and they actually have fun together now, so it’s worth saving the relationship.
You don’t have to be perfect to convince your girlfriend to stay, but you do have to show her that you’ve understood her reasons for wanting to leave and are making the effort to fix those about yourself.
When you do that, she will automatically begin to feel some respect for you again and will naturally change her mind.
5. Meet Up With Her and Get Her Back
Regardless of how negative your girlfriend is being towards you at the moment, you need to get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
For example: If your girlfriend is refusing to meet up with you and is saying things like, “Just leave me alone. I’ve had enough and I really don’t want to see you anymore,” you can say to her, “Look, I know that right now I’m not on the top of your ‘Favorite Person in the World’ list. However, all I’m asking for is a quick catch up over a cup of coffee. We’re not children who have to ignore each other like this. We can catch up for a quick coffee, right? If after the meet up you don’t want to see me or talk to me again, I’ll respect your wishes and won’t contact you again.”
Then, when you meet up with her, you need to keep saying and doing the types of things that will make her see you in a new light and convince her to give you another chance (e.g. be confident, make her smile and laugh, show her that you love and appreciate her).
However, don’t push her to decide there and then if you haven’t fully re-sparked her feelings of respect and attraction for you first.
If she sees that you’re being a confident, emotionally mature guy around her, she won’t be able to stop herself from dropping her guard a little bit and allowing herself to imagine you and her being back together again.
From there, it’s up to you to open her eyes to the fact that falling back in love with each other will be one of the most amazing feelings she will ever experience in her life.
When she realizes that she will be winning because you are now the man she always wanted you to be and because it’s exciting to fall back in love with someone again, she will feel happy about being in a relationship with you.