If your ex doesn’t want to see you anymore, it might feel like there’s nothing you can do about it and you just have to accept her decision, even if you don’t want to.
Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Guys now get ex women back all the time and you can do it too.
Watch this video…
When you interact with your ex and respark some of her old feelings for you, she will then begin to think about you in a more positive light and be open to talking to you and seeing you more.
Even if she currently thinks that she is 100% certain about not wanting to see you anymore, when you respark those all important feelings in her (i.e. feelings of respect, attraction and love) she won’t be able to help herself from feeling drawn to you.
She will want to see you again because you make her feel good.
Where most guys go wrong when an ex doesn’t want to see them anymore, is that make even more mistakes that push her away even further.
Watch this video for an example…
If you want her to feel good about seeing you, make sure that from now on, you always think, talk, feel, behave and take action in a way that will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
While doing that, make sure that you avoid making the following mistakes:
1. Begging her for another chance
Not all guys make this mistake, but a lot of guys do.
Unfortunately, some guys can’t handle the emotionally painful thoughts that come rushing to the surface when they are dumped by the woman they love.
Often, this happens when a guy secretly feels as though he got lucky in getting her to be his girlfriend in the first place.
He fears that if she leaves him, he will struggle to find another quality girlfriend like her.
Some guys also give up all their friends and interests when they get into a relationship with a woman, which then causes the guy to become clingy and needy as he focuses all of his attention on her.
So, when she decides that she wants to break up with him, he feels like the biggest, most important part of his life is being taken away from him.
It’s a horrible feeling to go through as a guy, but it’s a good wake up call that will either force you to quickly become a better man and get her back or hurt you so much that you will hide away from women and relationships for years.
Some guys can’t handle that feeling and immediately begin to beg and plead with a woman when she gives him the final news that she’s breaking up with him.
However, in most cases, rather than make a woman change her mind and take him back, the begging, crying and whining usually has the effect of turning her off even more. Why?
It is a woman’s natural instinct to be attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, self-assurance, determination, the ability to handle a difficult situation), and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, neediness, self-doubt, an inability to cope in stressful situations).
So, when a woman says to a guy, “It’s over between us and I really don’t want to see you anymore,” and he responds by becoming emotional, begging, crying and pleading with her, she naturally feels turned off by what she perceives as his emotional weakness.
It’s an instinctive reaction that she can’t control. It’s similar to how we men are instinctively attracted to healthy women.
It might be politically incorrect to say that unhealthy women aren’t as attractive as healthy women, but that’s how our instincts react.
Likewise, a woman instinctively feels turned off when a guy displays emotional weakness.
It might be politically incorrect to say that emotionally weak guys aren’t as attractive as confident guys, but that’s how a woman’s instincts react.
Not knowing that or accepting it as reality, some guys believe that if they show a woman how emotional and lost they feel without her, she will be flattered that he cares so much, and will then change her mind.
Yet, it doesn’t work that way because emotional weakness isn’t appealing.
Most women don’t want to see their man begging, crying or being emotionally weak.
She might give him a chance for a day or two, or string him along for a little while, but she will have every intention of dumping him again when she feels like she is ready to do so.
A woman wants to be with an emotionally strong, masculine man that she can look up to, respect, and feel a strong attraction for, not a guy who breaks down when he is faced with a challenge in life.
Of course, if you’ve already made the mistake of begging your ex to give you a second chance, don’t worry about it.
It’s not the end of the world and it’s not unfixable.
Here’s how to fix it…
As long as you now understand that begging is the kind of behavior that causes a woman to lose even more respect and attraction for a guy, then you can write it off as a lesson learned.
Don’t be ashamed of the mistakes you’ve made. Instead, be proud of the man you’ve become and are currently becoming.
You’re becoming a better man each and every day. You’re not the same guy that she broke up with.
So, instead of worrying about the fact that you begged (if you did, that is), simply move forward from that by focusing on making your ex feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you whenever you interact with her (e.g. by being confident, making her laugh, staying strong even when she says negative things to you).
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Getting angry with her
The opposite reaction to begging and pleading, is getting angry and demanding that she change her mind.
For example: A guy might try begging and pleading for a while, but if his ex keeps saying, “Please stop pushing me. Can’t you just accept that I don’t want to see you anymore and that it’s over between us?” he might then become angry with her.
He might start shouting at her and saying things like, “Why are you being such a bitch? How can you do this to me?” or “I promise you one thing, you will regret it if you break up with me…you will regret it big time,” or even “Why won’t you give us another chance… Are you seeing someone else? You cheating bitch!”
In cases like that, the guy can’t deal with the thought of being without her, so he attempts to use anger to make her fearful about leaving him.
However, this type of reaction will rarely, if ever, have a positive effect. Why?
When a woman doesn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love for a guy, rather than see his anger as him simply getting a little upset, she will likely think to herself, “Well, if I wasn’t sure about moving on before this, but his behavior has convinced me that I’m making the right decision. I get the feeling that he might be the kind of guy who could hit me or even kill me for leaving him. I’m going to be better off leaving him as soon as I can.”
What guys like that don’t understand is that you never really own a woman.
Getting angry, shouting and even becoming violent in some way isn’t going to make his ex say, “Wow, he must really care about me. How silly of me for wanting to leave him.”
Instead, she’s just going to feel the need to get away from him before something worse happens.
Hopefully you haven’t made the mistake of becoming very angry or threatening towards your ex.
If you have, don’t worry, it is recoverable as long as you have sincerely learned a lesson, changed and can be sure that you won’t ever want to react that way towards her again again.
Regardless of what has happened between you and her since the break up, when you focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (e.g. by being confident and emotionally strong around her), it will be a lot easier for her to begin thinking about you in a more positive light, and she will naturally become more open to talking to you, and seeing you again.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Constantly ask her why
Although some guys are very clear about the reason their girlfriend (fiancé or wife) is breaking up with them, a lot of guys aren’t really sure what is going on and why she suddenly wants to get out of the relationship.
So, when a guy doesn’t know the real reasons why, it’s only natural that he’s going to be asking all sorts of questions like, “Why are you breaking up with me? What did I do wrong? Why won’t you explain to me what is going on? Why won’t you listen me? Why won’t you tell me what I need to change? What is wrong with you all of a sudden? Why are you acting this way? Don’t you remember the good times?”
Here’s the thing though…
A woman rarely wakes up one morning and thinks, “Hmmm…today looks like a good day to break up with my guy.”
Most women will have spent a long time making the decision to break up with their guy and usually only after she has given him several hints along the way.
In some cases, a woman won’t truly break up with a guy unless she has given him a second or third chance to improve his ways.
So, by the time that a woman reaches the point of breaking up, she’s usually made up her mind that her guy isn’t listening to her and he’s probably not going to change.
Then, when a guy starts asking her, “Why are you doing this? Why won’t you tell me what I did wrong so that I can fix it?” she’s likely going to think, “I’ve told you so many times before and you haven’t being paying attention to me. Why should I believe you that this time will be different?” she realizes that he still doesn’t get it and she closes up even more.
If you want to get your ex back, you need to work out (or learn from me) all of the real reasons why she broke up with you.
You can’t expect her to want to tell you.
Most women don’t have the guts to explain the real, more subtle reasons why they feel turned off and want to get out of a relationship.
When you know the real reasons why your ex broke up with you, you can make the correct changes that actually matter to her.
Then, when you’re interacting with her, she will be able to pick up on the new ways that you talk, behave, and interact with her and she will begin to feel understood and happy.
She will begin to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you, and she will open up to the idea of seeing you more.
4. Asking her to explain what you need to change
After the initial shock of being broken up with, some guys are able to calm down and say things like, “Okay, I get it…I stuffed up. So, just tell me what you want me to change and I’ll do it,” or “I know I messed up badly, but I can change. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. I promise that things will be different this time.”
However, rather than get the answer he’s hoping for (e.g. something precise he can apologize for and then fix), a woman will likely give him a vague answer like, “I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore,” or “I need some space,” or “Things change. It’s not you, it’s me… I don’t want the same things as you do anymore.”
Why do women not come out and tell a guy what he did wrong and what he has to do to change?
The main reason is because a woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s teacher in life about how to be a man.
If she has to tell him what he’s doing wrong and then have to hold his hand and guide him through the steps he needs to take to change, she will feel like she is his mother, teacher or big sister in life.
She doesn’t want to take on that role.
She doesn’t want to teach him how to be the kind of man that will be attractive to her now or in the future.
She wants him to figure it out by himself without her help, so that she can look up to him and respect him as her man, not look down on him as like being a little brother to her.
If she has to teach him how to behave like the kind of man that she needs him to be, she will feel more dominant than him in the relationship, and she won’t be able to look up to him and respect him as her man.
So, if you’ve already asked your ex what you need to change about yourself, don’t stress about it.
Just focus on figuring out what really went wrong in your relationship (e.g. Did you take her for granted? Did you become needy, clingy or insecure? Did you stop reaching for your true potential as a man?), and then begin to fix those issues before you try to tell her that you’ve changed.
You don’t have to completely fix everything, but you need to let her see that you know the real reasons why she broke up with you and have already changed and improved.
She will be able to see for herself that things are different by the way you talk, think, behave and respond to her and now and she will naturally begin to think about you in a more positive light.
5. Asking if she will change her mind if you wait for her
When a woman is saying, “Go away. I don’t want to see you anymore,” a guy usually doesn’t know what to do other than to accept it, give her space and hope that she changes her mind.
Yet, it rarely works.
In most cases, giving a woman more than 3-7 days of space is complete waste of time and increases the chances of her finding a new guy, falling in love and moving on without him.
When a guy gets dumped, he will sometimes think, “Okay, if my ex doesn’t want to see me any more, maybe, I should just stay away for a while until she changes her mind” or “Hopefully if I give her space, she will eventually realize that I am a good man and she’ll come back to me.”
He might then decide that if he waits a few weeks, or even a month or two, when he calls her up again, she will have softened towards him.
Yet, it usually doesn’t work that way. Why?
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, she’s not going to feel like she’s missing out on much if he doesn’t contact her for a while.
In fact, she will likely be relieved not to have to deal with his constant begging, pleading, convincing, asking, and going on and on about the same old things.
So, unless your ex has strong feelings for you, don’t waste time ignoring her because she’s not going to come running back.
You’ve got to actively make her have feelings for you again.
The sooner a guy makes a woman feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, the quicker she will begin to reconsider her decision to break up.
When a woman begins to feel respect and attraction again for her ex, she begins to see him in a new, positive light.
He stops being the same guy that she dumped.
He is different now and she feels differently when she interacts with him.
In most cases, a guy usually just needs to create an initial spark of respect and attraction, and in most cases, the woman will open back up and will be interested in seeing him again or at least talking a bit more to see how she feels.
Some very difficult women will need to experience those feelings of respect 2-3 times on a phone call, or in person, before they will open back up to the relationship.
However, a guy isn’t going to respark her feelings for him by ignoring her and cutting off all communication for weeks or months.
Most women don’t come running back if they don’t have feelings for a guy when they dump him, or if they are fine on their own (e.g. she is attractive, has lots of friends, has many guys interested in her).
So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, don’t waste a lot of time giving her space or ignoring her, in the hopes that she’ll suddenly want to see you again.
You have to actively respark her feelings of respect and attraction for you when you interact with her.
You Can Change How She Feels
When you’re saying, “My ex doesn’t want to see me any more,” it’s easy to feel that you’re at her mercy.
It seems like she calls all the shots and unless you suck up to her or obey all of her commands, she will cut you off even more and block you out of her life completely.
Yet, here’s the thing…
In reality, she is at your mercy.
When you respark her feelings of respect and attraction for you again and don’t desperately try to get her back, she feels interested and intrigued.
You then interact with her more, build on her feelings and her walls then begin to come down.
Before she knows it, she is the one who wants to see you again.
Interacting with you feels good to her.
It feels right.
She might feel confused at first and ask herself, “What’s going on here? I really thought I was over him. I really believed that I didn’t want to see him any more,” but her heart will be full of new feelings for you that she won’t be able to ignore.
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