You need laugh at her for saying that, rather than taking it so seriously.
For example: Laugh and say, “Well, I guess that I’m the worst ex boyfriend in the world then. I’m that bad, am I?”
She will most likely say, “Yes, you are. You’re the worst.”
Yet, even though her saying that might be hurtful to you, rather than get upset about it, just laugh and respond with something like, “Okay, then I’m a horrible ex boyfriend. I guess I win the title of being the worst ex boyfriend in the world, which is a pretty good achievement. I’m very proud of that” and have a laugh with her about it.
The point of laughing and making light of her comment about only having negative feelings towards you, is to get rid of the seriousness of what she is saying.
Using humor and a light-hearted approach in response to serious comments like that takes away the anger and allows her to be more open and easy-going about it all.
Once you’ve gotten rid of the seriousness of her comment, you then need to start showing her that you have changed, so she can begin to feel positive emotions whenever she interacts with you from now on.
Here are some do’s and don’t to help you achieve that…
Don’t Suck Up to Her to Change Her Negative Feelings Towards You
Sometimes, a guy thinks that to change a woman’s negative feelings for him, he needs to be extra nice to her by sucking up to her and doing whatever she wants.
For example: He might think to himself, “My ex said that she only has negative feelings towards me now. That’s because she’s only thinking about the bad things I did to her. If I start being really nice to her, treating her like a princess when I see her, buying her those things that I know she really likes, and even helping out with her bills (e.g. pay her rent, buy her groceries), she will stop thinking about my past mistakes and start seeing me in a more positive light. She’ll realize that even though I hurt her in the past and recently, I’m actually a really nice, honest, sincere, loving guy and that she can’t live without me.”
Yet, when a woman currently perceives her ex in a negative way because she has lost respect for him as a man, being extra nice to her will usually just make her even more annoyed with him.
She may think, “Does he really think that paying my rent/buying me gifts is all it will take to make me forget about what he did to me in the past, even though he still doesn’t even know how to make me feel respect and attraction for him anymore?”
Here’s the thing…
If a woman has lost respect and attraction for her ex, she will find it difficult to allow herself to open back up to him because she just can’t trust in who he is as a man.
If he tries to be extra nice to her and suck up to her to be forgiven, she’s just going to see right through it.
She might then decide to teach him a lesson, by saying to herself, “Okay fine. I’ll let him pay for my rent/groceries/run around doing things for me if that’s what he wants to do for me. He deserves to suffer for how he treated me. I will get him doing everything for me and string him along as though he has a chance. In the meantime, I’ll find myself another guy and tell him all about it when I’m ready to truly break his heart and get him back for treating me so badly in the relationship.”
He might feel like he’s making progress by sucking up to her and being Mr. Nice Guy, but he’s really only accomplishing 2 things:
- Making her feel good about herself (e.g. she feels wanted, attractive, in the position of power, not worried about him moving on with another girl) so she can calmly and confidently move on with her life and find another guy.
- Causing her to lose even more respect and attraction for him as a man because he’s trying to suck up to her to get another chance.
Even if a woman really appreciates that her ex is being extra nice to her and spoiling her in different ways (e.g. gifts, dinners, paying her bills), it doesn’t mean she’s going to suddenly forgive him for his past mistakes.
In most cases, she will simply think, “I know my ex is being really sweet right now, but that doesn’t change what happened between us. He’s still the same guy that I broke up with. He’s probably just hoping that being nice to me will be enough to make me forget about the past, and overlook the fact that he still hasn’t figured out the real reasons why the spilt between us happened.”
So, what should you do instead?
To change how your ex currently feels about you, you have to respark her feelings of respect and attraction…and you can’t do it by simply being really nice to her.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but if you’re letting her treat you badly because you’re hoping that she will suddenly realize that you’re not such a bad guy after all and then change her mind, you’re actually only turning her off even more.
To get your ex to change her negative feelings about you, you have to actively make her feel respect and attraction for you again, by behaving in some of the ways that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confident, charismatic, self-assured, masculine).
So, don’t waste time sucking up to her in the hopes that it will change how she feels.
Instead, focus on being the kind of man that she can look up to and respect whenever you interact with her (i.e. via text, on social media, over the phone or face-to-face).
When your ex begins to feel respect for you again, it becomes difficult for her to hold on to her negative feelings about you, and she then becomes more open to the idea of getting back together again.
Choose to See the Humor in Her Comments, Rather Than Feeling Sad About it
It’s understandable that a guy might feel sad when he hears his ex saying things like, “It’s over between us. I only have negative feelings towards you now.”
He might then start telling himself, “I hurt the woman that I love and now she hates me. I deserve to be dumped. We used to be so good together and now the only thing she feels for me is anger, resentment, and disgust. That is all my fault. I messed up so badly and I don’t think there’s anything that I can say or do that will change her negative feelings towards me.”
The truth is, going through a break up is a pretty horrible experience for most guys.
For many guys, it makes it difficult to eat, sleep and work properly because she’s always on his mind.
A guy might get to the point where he feels like he just doesn’t deserve her and has to put up with being rejected and lonely now that she only has negative feelings towards him.
Yet, putting yourself down and feeling like you’re unworthy of her isn’t the way to regain your ex’s respect.
You’ve got to be confident in yourself and the new and improved man that you now are since she dumped you.
The truth is, everyone makes mistakes.
You’re not perfect, but neither is your ex.
So, rather than sitting around blaming yourself about what happened and giving yourself the title of, “Worst Ex Boyfriend in the World,” what you need to do is focus on making her laugh, smile and feel happy every time that she interacts with you via text, on a phone call or in person.
Seeing the humor in her comments about your is one of the best ways to show your ex that you’re not the same guy she broke up with anymore.
For example: A guy is talking to his ex and she says, “Forget about us. I only have negative feelings towards you now. Nothing is going to make me think of you in a positive way.”
Rather than react in a way that she might be expecting, (e.g. get upset, become angry with her, beg and plead with her), he decides to show her his maturity and confidence by joking about to get her smiling and laughing, which then re-sparks some of her feelings of respect and attraction for him.
When she says, “Forget about us. I only have negative feelings towards you now. Nothing is going to make me think of you in a positive way,” he can respond by smiling and saying in a joking way, “Yeah! I feel the same way too! I hate you now. You deserve to get the title of ‘Worst Ex Girlfriend in the World’ for breaking my heart. Look what you’ve done to me. I can’t even eat anymore…I’m so sad. I’ve only had 4 hamburgers, 4 large fries, and 4 cokes today at McDonald’s. I’m starving because I can’t eat. I’m just fading away here…I’m just skin and bones now. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep…I’m so sad that the Worst Ex Girlfriend in the World dumped me and now doesn’t want anything to do with me” and laugh with her about it.
Of course, saying that to her isn’t the magic secret to wiping away all your past mistakes and suddenly making her fall hopelessly in love with you again.
It’s simply something to say in that moment to make her smile, or laugh and take away some of the bitterness that she’s currently feeling towards you.
It’s also a way to spark some of her feelings of respect, based on the fact that you’re not falling apart because of what she’s saying.
Remember: How you make your ex feel right now is what counts.
The more you can trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for the man that you’ve become since the break up (e.g. yesterday, last week, 2 months ago), the more likely it is that she will stop seeing you in a negative light based on who you were in the past.
You are different now.
You’ve become such a better man since the day she dumped you.
You are not the same guy anymore.
You really have changed and whenever she interacts with you, she feels that and it makes her guard come down and her old feelings for you come rushing back.
Don’t Turn Her Off Even More By Continuing to Make the Same Old Communication Mistakes That You Always Have With Her
When a woman is saying that she only has negative feelings towards her ex now, it’s usually because she has lost respect and attraction for him based on his behavior and actions.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was being insecure and needy in the relationship with her, she will feel turned off by him even more if tries to get her back by begging, pleading and saying things like, “I need you so much. I can’t live without you.”
Alternatively, if she broke up with him because he was giving her too much power in the relationship (e.g. being more dominant than him, letting her make all the decisions), saying, “Please tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. Just say the word and I’ll do anything you want, just give me one more chance,” will only convince her more that she made the right decision to dump him.
When a guy tries to get an ex back without first making some changes and improvements to his communication style with her (e.g. he becomes needy and insecure when she tells him she doesn’t have feelings for him, he lets her push him around in the hopes that it will please her and change her mind about him), she will naturally keep pushing him away.
She will behave coldly towards him and may say things like, “How can you expect me to take you back when nothing about you has changed? Don’t you get it? You’re still the same guy that I broke up with and I only have negative feelings for you now because of it.”
She will say that if the guy still doesn’t understand the real reasons why she dumped him (e.g. he thinks that she dumped him because she doesn’t want a relationship right now, but one of her real reasons was that he just wasn’t enough of a man for her. He was too insecure, needy, clingy, controlling or feminine in his behavior and expression of feelings).
So, before you do anything that might cause your ex to lose even more respect and attraction for you as a man, try to get clear on what caused her to break up with you in the first place.
Right now, some guys who read this will be very clear about why they got dumped, but many guys will be saying, “I don’t really know why she broke up with me. I’m not sure what caused her to have such negative feelings for me. I know I stuffed up, but I don’t understand how she could go from loving me so much to hating me and not wanting anything to do with me. She used to tell me that she wanted to settle down with me, get married and grow old together. Sure, I stuffed up a bit in the relationship, but how can she turn her back on us like this?”
If you’re one of the many guys who aren’t fully sure about what caused your ex to break up with you, here are some questions to ask yourself that will help you figure things out…
- Did you make her feel feminine and girly in your presence, or did she feel more like a friend, one of the guys or a big sister, in the relationship with you?
- Did she feel loved and appreciated by you, or did you take her for granted (e.g. did you fall into the habit of letting her do everything while you watched TV/played video games? Did you put her second to your friends/hobbies/family)?
- Were you rising through the levels of life like a real man, or were you using your relationship as an excuse to hide from your true potential as a man?
- Were you both growing and developing together as a couple, or were you going in separate directions? Did she mature faster than you?
- Were you both working towards achieving the same goals in life (e.g. getting married, having children, buying a house), or did you want different things?
By reading those questions and answering in your mind, you should have a clearer idea about what caused your ex to break up with you.
From here, you will then know what adjustments or changes you need to make when you interact with her again, to respark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you again.
When you respark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she will be able to see that you really are different now.
She feels good around you all of a sudden.
When that happens, it becomes very difficult for her to hold onto her negative feelings about you.
She might act like she still hates you, but once she feels a renewed sense of a respect and attraction for you, her guard will come down (whether she admits it or not).
On the other hand, if you don’t understand what was turning her off in your relationship and make adjustments, you will simply keep making the same old mistakes in your communication style, and she will just keep saying, “I only have negative feelings for you now.”
Do Spark Her Feelings of Respect and Attraction For You Again
Most people have heard the old expression, “Actions speak louder than words.”
Essentially what this means is that you cannot force your ex girlfriend to be with you again by trying to convince her with words.
Instead, you need to show her that you have changed via your actions, the way you talk, behave, interact with her and the way you respond to what she says and does.
When she can see it for herself (or hear it if you’re talking to her on the phone), she will see that you have changed and you won’t need to try to convince her of it.
Simply focus on triggering her feelings of respect, attraction and love in every interaction that you have with her from now on (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call, or in person) and her guard will come down.
You can make her feel that way by making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you again, rather than trying to convince her to see you in a more positive light or to give you another chance because you love her so much.
By making some attractive adjustments to your behavior and to the way that you talk and interact with her (e.g. staying confident despite what she says, seeing the humor in every situation despite how tense it might be), being around you suddenly becomes fun for her, so her guard naturally comes down and she opens up to you again.
She then begins to wonder, “What’s going on here? Why am I only feeling positive emotions towards him all of a sudden?” and she can’t stop herself from feeling some level of respect and attraction for you again.
From there, you simply build on that spark of attraction to show her that things really are different now.