Yes, but neither approach guarantees that you will get her back.
For example: None of the following options will work…
1. Limited contact, but you turn her off by your style of communication
This usually happens when a guy only uses texting as his way of communicating with his ex woman, rather than getting her on a phone call or talking to her in person.
He might decide to use limited contact to stay in touch as a friend, or to send out feeler texts every now and then to see if she is interested.
Yet, if he’s not actively creating a spark with her and is subtly turning her off, she’s not going to feel motivated to get back with him.
Instead, she is going to use the time apart to hook up with a guy makes her feel sexually and romantically attracted.
Then, the occasional texts from her ex will start to become annoying and unwanted.
She may then end up texting him something like, “Why are you texting me? Don’t you understand that we’ve broken up? Please just stop texting me, okay? I want to move on in peace.”
If he then accepts that, he loses her and has wasted weeks or months trying to ‘play it cool’ with limited contact.
So, what should you do instead?
In the video below, I explain why the 30 day no contact rule doesn’t usually work and if and when you should use limited contact (or another strategy) instead…
Unfortunately, many guys don’t ever learn what you are now learning, so they end up wasting weeks or months trying to hopefully get an ex woman back who is secretly moving on without them.
In most ex back cases, a man needs to actively re-attract his ex woman, or else she will just move on.
So, if you are going to use limited contact, make sure that you’re not turning her off with your communication style (i.e. you’re not being needy, desperate, just acting like a friend, trying to have big conversations via text and so on).
Make sure that you use every interaction that you have with her to reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
That’s how limited contact can work to get an ex woman back.
Here’s another approach that usually doesn’t work…
2. No contact for 30 to 60 days and she just moves on because she’s no longer attracted to you and doesn’t care that you’re not contacting her
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for a guy, him not contacting her will usually just help her move on.
Rather than feeling sad or depressed about it (and as a result, rush back to her ex to get him back), she just uses the time to fully get over him, go out and have fun with her single friends, hook up with new guys and possibly even fall in love and get into a committed relationship.
Then, by the time her ex contacts her again after 30 or 60 days, she will say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but since I didn’t hear from you, I assumed that you’d moved on, so I did the same. I’m over you now and I’m happy with things the way that they are. So, please don’t contact me again. I don’t want to ruin what I now have with my new boyfriend. You’ve already caused me enough pain and you need to stop. What you and I had is over now and I’m not interested in reliving it again,” or “Where did you crawl out from? I haven’t heard from you in months and now all of a sudden you try to weasel your way back into my life! Well, it’s not going to happen. I’m in love with another guy now. You and I are finished. So, please, from now on, just stay away from me.”
Another approach that doesn’t work is…
3. Limited contact, but you act like a friend and that doesn’t create a spark
Sometimes a guy will use limited contact to show his ex woman that he’s not going to pressure her to get back together again.
For example: He might…
- Talk to her in a nice, polite way to her, regardless of how badly she treats him or how cold she’s being towards him, rather than assertively, yet lovingly, putting her back in her place to show her that he’s an emotionally strong, masculine man.
- Pretend that he’s not sexually or romantically interested in her anymore and just wants to be friends and chat every now and then, rather than flirting with her and building up sexual tension that she will then want to release with kissing and sex.
- Use safe, boring humor because he’s afraid of offending her, rather than using ballsy humor that will actually make her feel some attraction.
Naturally, a woman will then remain closed off because there’s no sexual attraction to make her feel motivated to want to give him another chance.
Here’s the thing…
It’s totally fine to be friendly towards your ex.
However, just make sure that every time you interact with her, you’re not pretending to be an innocent friend who isn’t interested in her in a sexual or romantic way anymore.
If you do, you will end up losing her to another guy who makes her feel sexually attracted in the ways that she wants.
Another approach that usually ends in failure is…
4. No contact for 30 to 60 days. She then seeks to get revenge on you for trying to mess with her head by cutting off contact
Women can search Google and watch YouTube as well.
So, just like you’ve probably heard about the No Contact Rule online as a way of getting an ex back, it’s more than likely that your ex has too.
If your ex gets a sense that you’re ignoring her to lure her back, she may turn the tables on you by unfriending you on social media and refusing to answer your messages or calls, when you finally get around to contacting her.
As a result, getting her back becomes way more difficult than you probably thought it would be when you started using No Contact.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
Here’s What You Should Do Instead
The best approach to successfully get an ex woman back is to be active about it (i.e. interact with her and re-attract her and then seduce), rather than passive (i.e. use limited contact in a friendly way, or no contact and just wait).
Here are 4 tips that will help you get her back…
1. Understand the real reasons why she felt turned off enough to leave you
If you interact with your ex and you make the same old attraction mistakes that you made before, she won’t feel very motivated to get back together with you.
This is why it’s very important that you understand her real, secret reasons for breaking up with you.
Unfortunately, many guys never really find out what those reasons are, so they keep offering their ex the wrong things when trying to get her back.
For example: A woman might break up with a guy because he doesn’t make her feel feminine and girly around him.
He was too soft, nice and gentle and gave her too much power in the relationship.
As a result, she felt much more dominant than him (e.g. she was always making the decisions for them, he would give into her demands even when she was being unreasonable just so he could get to spend time with her, he was too submissive, so he wasn’t able to make her feel like she wanted to fully submit to him sexually).
In other cases, a woman might end up feeling more like a friend or roommate when she’s with her boyfriend, which then makes it difficult to really let go and be his girl.
Instead, she ends up feeling like ‘one of the guys’ around him, so she ends up thinking, talking, feeling and behaving more like a man around him, which turns her off sexually.
However, she doesn’t tell him that in explicit detail.
Instead, she breaks up with him by saying something along the lines of, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but my feelings for you have changed lately. I just don’t feel the same way anymore. I think we’re not right for each other and would be better off as friends,” rather than being open and honest with him by saying, “You’re not emotionally masculine enough for me. I’m always leading and telling you what to do and that makes me feel kind of manly, or like your mother, which doesn’t make me feel sexual attraction. That’s why I’m breaking up with you. I’m going to open myself up to find a man who can be masculine enough to allow me to fully relax into being a feminine woman around him. I want to a man’s girl, not his friend or his mother figure.”
Of course, sometimes a woman doesn’t even understand what is turning her off about her ex.
She simply knows that something doesn’t feel right to her and she wants out.
This is why you can’t depend on your ex to guide you and tell you what you need to do to get her back.
In most cases, she won’t want to tell you and in other cases, she won’t know what to tell you, so it’s a lose-lose approach when you ask for guidance from your ex.
By the way…
Even if she does know how to explain what she wants you to change, a woman usually won’t want to tell you because she doesn’t want to be your teacher in life about how to be a man.
If she does that, then she fears that it will continue to happen in the relationship for the rest of your life together, which will make her feel more like your mother or big sister, rather than you girl.
So, if you don’t already know the real reasons why your ex broke up with you, it’s important to find that out (not from her!) before you try to get her back.
For example: Here are some of the hidden reasons why a woman will fall out of love and end a relationship:
- He was confident at the beginning of the relationship, but over time he became insecure, needy, clingy and self-doubting. She then lost respect for him and stopped looking at his as being a man that she could look up to.
- She matured faster than him and got tired of putting up with his irresponsible, immature behavior or way of approaching life.
- She felt insecure about her future with him because he didn’t have any big goals or dreams that he was actively working towards achieving in his life. Alternatively, he did have big dreams, but he kept failing at them, wasn’t making any progress for years and blamed external things (e.g. the government, his parents, society) for his failure, rather than learning, improving and then succeeding at whatever he was trying to do.
- She felt taken for granted because he would often get angry at her, treat her badly and expect her to just put up with it, even though he was turning her off in other ways and causing her to fall out of love with him.
- She felt like she was always way in the background of his life, or that she wasn’t important compared to his family, friends or hobbies (e.g. video games, gym, watching sports, reading books).
- The relationship became too boring and predictable. He stopped putting any effort in to make her feel special because he expected her to stick around based on how good things were at the beginning of the relationship.
Do any of those reasons resonate with you?
Did any of those get you thinking and starting to get some clarity on what might have really turned her off?
When you fully understand what turned your ex girlfriend off, you can then change what she really wants you to change, rather than changing what you think she wants you to change (e.g. being nicer to her, when she actually wants you to be more manly and stop trying to suck up to her).
So, make sure that you are prepared to attract her in ways that will actually work on her and make her drop her guard.
When she drops her guard, it then becomes possible for her to see herself being with you again.
2. Prepare to give her an upgraded attraction experience
Here are some examples of how to do that:
- Show her by way of your behavior, conversation style and actions that you have already fixed some of the issues that were turning her off before (e.g. if you were insecure and self-doubting before, you’re now more confident and believe in your value as a man. If you placed her needs ahead of your own despite her bad behavior before, you now stand up for yourself to her and put her in her place in loving, but assertive manner).
- React differently to what she says and does, (e.g. if she previously made you feel angry when she created unnecessary drama, you now relax and lovingly laugh at her attempts to fluster you. You know that women are attracted to emotional masculinity, so by remaining in control of your emotions like a real man, she naturally feels attracted to you).
- Make her feel feminine and girly in your presence by thinking, talking, behaving, feeling and acting like a masculine man, rather than being extra nice or neutral around her.
When you are ready to re-attract her…
3. Interact with her and re-attract her
If you don’t interact with your ex on a phone call or in person (i.e. because you’re hiding behind texts), you won’t be able to get her to truly experience the new you.
As a result, she will probably continue moving on without you and you may then lose your chance to get her back.
So, regardless of how worried you might be about her potentially not wanting to get on a phone call with you or meet up with you in person, you’ve got to make it happen if you want to get her back for real.
When you talk to her on the phone or in person:
- Use humor to bring down her guard and make her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you. This is especially important if she is initially being standoffish and indifferent towards you.
- Flirt with her to create some sexual tension, rather than just talking to her in a neutral, friendly way.
- Turn her negative feelings about what happened between you into something you can both laugh about together, rather than apologizing over and over or sucking up to her to get her to take pity on you.
The more she can see that you’re being a confident, emotionally mature man, the less she will be able to stick to her decision to remain broken up.
4. Make her want the relationship, but don’t pressure her into it
Once you have re-attracted her, she will begin to look at you differently.
She will start to worry that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will end up regretting it and you will be the one who got away.
However, if you immediately start trying to get her to want a relationship, you will lose that power.
She will almost certainly put her guard back up, play hard to get and then may lose interest in you if she notices that you feel rejected and are worried about losing her.
So, make sure that you don’t push for a relationship once you’ve re-attracted her.
Make her feel like she needs to give you another chance, or else she will regret it and have to live with emotional pain of seeing you move on and be happy with a new woman.
When you approach the ex back process in that way, she will naturally want to give the relationship another chance and you can then allow her to have that chance with you.