5 possible reasons why your ex blames you for all your relationship problems:

1. You take her drama seriously, so she does it it for fun

You take her drama seriously, so she does it for fun

Some women really enjoy getting a guy worked up and annoyed by creating drama.

It’s literally a lot of fun for them.

So, sometimes a woman will say things like, “I hate you!” or, “It’s all your fault we’re broken up! You’re the one who stuffed everything up, not me,” even though she doesn’t really mean it.

Some women do it for fun, some women do it to test your confidence and manliness and some do it because they are a little bit crazy.

Whatever reason your ex girlfriend has been doing it for, you shouldn’t be taking her unfair accusations of you so seriously.

You should literally be laughing at her, at times, for being such a little drama queen or pain in the butt.

Yes, laughing at her.

A lot of guys don’t realize that though and they go through life taking women way too seriously.

For example: A guy takes her accusations 100% seriously and accepts all the blame, even though she made mistakes too.

Taking her drama too seriously

Alternatively, he loses control of his emotions and gets angry or resorts to begging and pleading with her to forgive him.

He might even try to be extra nice and sweet to her in the hope that she will stop being so mad at him).

Yet, she doesn’t.

She keeps turning up the drama and sticks to her unfair accusations of him.

The more seriously he takes it all, the more respect she loses for him.


A woman wants to be with a guy who has the confidence and emotional strength to put a woman back in her place in a loving, but dominant way, rather than being bullied by her.

When it comes to getting an ex back, a woman wants a man to be calm, confident and in control as he gets her back, regardless of what she’s saying and doing to throw him off (e.g. being a drama queen, blaming him for all the relationship problems, being hysterical and screaming at him).

She needs him to show that he deserves respect from her and that it makes sense for her to submit and be in the one down position (in terms of dominance) in the relationship.

If he can’t do that, she can’t respect him and as a result, she won’t feel attracted to him or in love with him.

So, the next time your ex girlfriend starts saying things like, “It’s all your fault we broke up. You’re the one to blame for everything that happened between us, so don’t expect me to forget that,” just remember to see the funny side of how she is behaving, rather than getting sucked into the fake drama she is creating to test your confidence and ability to be the man.

Another possible reason why your ex blames you for all your relationship problems is…

2. You are actually responsible for the main relationship problems

That’s not very nice to hear, I know.

Yet, in some cases, the guy’s behavior, actions or attitude is actually the main cause for the failure of the relationship.

Sure, the woman could have treated him better and been more patient with him, but the reality is that pretty much all women simply react to their man.

In other words, if a man is confident, loving and masculine in his thinking and behavior, a woman will naturally respect him, feel attracted to him and love him.

On the other hand, if a man is insecure, selfish and emotionally sensitive, then a woman will naturally lose respect for him, stop feeling attraction and fall out of love.

Woman reacting to man

She is literally reacting to him.

That’s how it really works, but some guys don’t want to hear that because it feels easier to just blame the woman or accuse her of being crazy, bipolar or something like that.

Blaming women and expecting them to be stronger, more patient and more understanding isn’t going to fix a guy’s relationship problems because women literally react to men.

So, when a woman blames her ex guy for all of their relationship problems, she is trying to get him to understand that it could have been different between them.

She would have reacted differently if he had used a different approach in the relationship (e.g. if he didn’t become insecure or take her for granted).

He can still get her back, but he has to change his approach to communication, attraction and the relationship.

For example: Some of the common reasons why a woman will react by feeling turned off by her boyfriend, are:

  • He was too childish and immature and she grew up faster than him (e.g. he had no direction in his life and spent most of his time hanging out with friends, living at home with his parents, working at dead-end jobs, while she was goal oriented and making plans for her future).
  • He didn’t make an effort to get along with her family and friends.He broke his promises to her.
  • He had a wandering eye, or even cheated on her.
  • He was too jealous and controlling and she felt smothered by him.
  • He would lose his cool if she threw a tantrum to test his confidence.

How about you?

Do you think that you were to blame for most (or all) of the relationship problems?

Ask yourself:

Does my ex girlfriend have a good reason for blaming me for our relationship problems?

Was I mostly responsible for our break up because of how I changed and how that then caused her to react to me?

Did some aspects of my thinking and behavior cause her to lose respect, attraction and love for me (e.g. insecurity, anger, negativity)?

If you can honestly answer those questions for yourself, you’ll have a much clearer idea of what you need to change about yourself to reawaken her feelings of respect and attraction for you.

Then, when you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call and especially in person) you can show her via your body language, behavior, conversation style and the way you respond to her that you are now a very different man from the one she broke up with.

She will be able to see for herself that many (if not all) of the things that were turning her off about you are no longer an issue.

When that happens, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for the new and improved you.

She can then stop blaming you for everything and begin to wonder what it would be like being in a relationship with the new and improved you.

Another possible reason why your ex blames you for all your relationship problems is…

3. You are discussing the relationship, rather than re-attracting her

To get your ex back quickly, you need to focus on re-attracting her sexually and romantically, so she has a clear reason to give you another chance.

If you focus on discussing the relationship, it’s highly likely that you will cause her to feel stressed out and overwhelmed by the pressure you seem to be putting on her to work things out with you.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize this until it’s too late and end up pushing their girlfriend away.

For example: He may ask things like, “I accept that it’s all my fault we broke up. Believe me. I get it and I want to make it up to you now. So, tell me what went wrong and what I could have done differently. I promise to then change and do whatever it takes to make this work.”

Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Oh, that’s so sweet. He’s really making an effort to make things right between us. I should explain how he can get me back now” she closes up and feels even more turned off by him.


Discussing the relationship over and over again simply highlights to a woman how clueless her guy is about what he did wrong and how he can be the man she really wants him to be.

He essentially needs her to give him instructions on how to be attractive to her, which she can do, but she won’t want to.


If she tells him how to think, act and behave to re-attract her, it won’t feel real to her.

It will feel as though he’s putting on an act just to please her, but deep down he will still be the same guy as before.

So, she decides to end the relationship and hopes to find a new man who will be more mature and wise when it comes to what women actually want in a relationship.

It won’t matter if her ex cuts off contact, sends her a letter expressing his feelings or even hooks up with a new woman to hopefully make her jealous.

If she knows that he won’t be able to change in the ways that really matter to her (e.g. become more emotionally manly, take charge in the relationship, make her feel girly and feminine around him), then she won’t look back and will focus on moving on without him.

So, if you want to get your ex girlfriend back, don’t make the mistake of getting into serious discussions about the relationship and asking for her help on how to be kind of man that she would accept or want.

Another possible reason why your ex blames you for all your relationship problems is…

4. She is waiting for you to put her back in her place in a playful way

Some guys take a woman’s comments after a break up way too seriously and begin to fear saying or doing something that might turn her off even more.

So, rather than lovingly and playfully putting her back in her place when she blames him for all their relationship problems, a guy becomes extra nice and sweet to her instead.

He is essentially on his best behavior, trying hard to be nice and hoping that she thinks it’s sweet and then gives him another chance.

Yet, that approach simply doesn’t work on most women.


Almost all women want a guy to be man enough to not take everything she says or does so seriously.

A woman wants a man who is able to laugh, smile and guide the conversation back to feel good emotions, rather than panicking and sucking up to her in the hope that she softens up.

So, the next time your ex girlfriend blames you for everything and says something things like, “It’s all your fault we’re broken up. You’re the one who stuffed it all up, not me,” just use it as a perfect opportunity to make her feel attracted to the new, stronger version of you.

For example: Laugh and say something along the lines of, “All my fault is it? Yeah, okay. What’s that saying again? It takes two to tango. Well, in our case, it just takes one person to tango. It’s all my fault. You didn’t do anything wrong and were perfect. It was all my fault” and have a laugh with her about it.

Initially, she may be a bit shocked that you’re not getting sucked into her fake drama anymore and might try to test your confidence by saying, “Don’t be smart with me. If you keep talking like that, I’m hanging up.”

If she does, just laugh at her and let her hang up.

She will feel respect for you for having the balls to not fall for her fake drama.

Then, just ignore her for a few days and if she hasn’t contacted you, text or call her and attract her further.

Of course, not all women are that mean and nasty.

However, if your ex girlfriend is like that, you need to make sure that you aren’t afraid of her potentially getting angry and hanging up, or walking away from a catch up.

You need to stand your ground and not be chasing after her in a desperate way.

Women like that don’t respect guys who are afraid of them.

So, although it might seem scary or risky for you to put her back in her place in a dominant, but loving way, you’ve got to do it.

You’ve got to man up, so she can feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and want you back.

When you do, she will realize that you’re now a very different man from the one she broke up with (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally strong, you’re more ballsy and no longer allow her to dominate you, you’re emotionally masculine in a way that makes her feel girly and feminine around you).

As a result, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to you again, even if she pretends that she isn’t to test your confidence and see if you will panic and try to suck up to her.

Another possible reason why your ex blames you for all your relationship problems is…

5. She’s trying to make you react in an unattractive way, so she has more reason to remain broken up with you

When a woman doesn’t know how to break up with her boyfriend and get him to accept it and leave her alone, she may resort to blaming him for all their relationship problems as a way of making him angry.

She hopes that he will get so upset with her that he might start shouting and maybe even become a bit aggressive towards her.

She can then say something along the lines of, “See? This is what I’m talking about! If I had my doubts before, your behavior has just convinced me that you’re not the guy for me. You’re out of control and it’s clear to me you won’t ever change. You scare me now. There’s no way I am ever going to see you again. I’m afraid of what you might do. So, it’s over between us. You need to accept that and move on.”

He then won’t be able to defend himself, or make excuses because he will know that she’s right.

So, remember…

Don’t let your ex girlfriend suck you into her fake drama.

No matter how much she tries to make you react in an unattractive way, just maintain your confidence and turn it into something you can both laugh about together.

When she sees that you are being a confident, emotionally strong and mature man and aren’t getting sucked into her drama, she will automatically start to reconnect with her feelings for you.

You can then build on that initial spark of feelings and get her back.

3 Mistakes to Avoid Making When Your Ex Blames You For All Your Relationship Problems

You’re not the first guy to be in this situation.

Every day, all over the world, good guys find themselves being blamed for all of the relationship problems with their girlfriend and being made out to be the villain.

I’ve helped so many guys in your situation to get their ex woman back and as a result, I’ve heard of all the mistakes they had been making before learning from me here at The Modern Man.

So, I recommend that you do the wise thing and learn from their mistakes and get your ex back quickly, rather than making the same mistakes yourself…

1. Apologizing over and over

Although there’s nothing wrong with apologizing to a woman who has broken up with you, doing it over and over again doesn’t make her want you back anymore than apologizing once.

In fact, apologizing over and over again usually just annoys the woman, because she assumes that you’re using it as a way of distracting her from the fact that you still haven’t changed.

You’re just apologizing and apologizing, rather than re-attracting her and making her feel sexually and romantically turned on by you again.

The next mistake to avoid making is…

2. Letting her rant on and on about your mistakes

No matter how guilty you might feel about what happened between you and your ex, don’t fall into the trap of allowing her to rant about it every time you and her interact with each other.

Deep down you might think you deserve it, but letting her rant won’t change anything.

Instead, she will simply feel emotionally more dominant than you, which then will stop her from being able to respect you as a man.

So, if she keeps going over how you stuffed up, simply say in a relaxed, but assertive voice, “Wow, that must be the 5th time you’ve mentioned that to me. How many more times do you need to bring it up before you feel satisfied? 10? 50? 100? Okay, go ahead and say it, but once you’re done, let’s stop ranting on about how bad things used to be and focus on enjoying how much better things are now or could be in the future.”

She might pretend to be annoyed at you for saying that, but deep down she will be feeling surges of respect and attraction for you again for being an emotionally strong, masculine man and standing up to her.

On the other hand, if you just let her get away with ranting, she will lose more and more respect for you until she eventually says, “Why am I even bothering? It’s over. We are done. I am going now and I don’t ever want to talk to you again. So, don’t contact me. Don’t add me on Facebook and don’t email me. We’re done. Goodbye!”

The next mistake to avoid making is…

3. Not changing the vibe of the conversation to be more playful and light hearted

Laughter is definitely the best medicine for healing the angry, negative feelings of a broken relationship.

Regardless of how bad things are between you and your ex right now, just understand that a little bit of humor goes a long way.

When you make her smile, laugh and enjoy talking to you, it changes the vibe and takes away the power from the negative feelings she has been holding on to.

So, the next time your ex starts blaming you for all your relationship problems, rather than just take it, lighten the mood through laughter and smiling.

For example: If you’re sitting at a table (at a café or restaurant) and your ex says something along the lines of, “I don’t even know why I’m here. It’s all your fault we broke up,” rather than get upset and turn her off, just take the risk of making a joke to calm the tension between you and her.

Use humor to break down her defenses

You might say something like, “Well, that’s not entirely true, is it? Technically we’re broken up because you said it’s over between us. So, in actual fact, it’s your fault that we broke up, not mine. You’re the villain, not me. You were such a bad girlfriend to me,” and have a laugh with her about that.

Say that in a joking manner, not in a serious manner or in a way where you are seeking pity.

Essentially, just be strong enough to joke around and not take her comments so seriously all the time.

When you do that, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to the new, emotionally stronger version of you who has the balls to joke around and turn a stressful conversation into something playful and light hearted.

Her guard then naturally comes down and she becomes open to the idea of getting back together again.

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