Here are 5 possible reasons why your ex girlfriend keeps rejecting your attempts to get her back are:

1. You’re asking for a relationship before re-attracting her

Sometimes, a woman will be open to getting back with her ex, but she then changes her mind because he is trying to get her to commit to a relationship before re-attracting her.

In other words, he is attracted to her and wants her back, but she just doesn’t feel the same way, so she doesn’t want to commit to a relationship.

For example: Before re-attracting her, a guy might:

  • Promise her that if she gives him another chance, he will do whatever she wants to make her happy.
  • Ben and plead with her to reconsider her decision.
  • Send her long love letters, emails or texts telling her how much he still cares for her and how he can’t live without her.
  • Buy her flowers and gifts as a way of expressing his love for her, in the hope that she will realize how silly she would be to let him go.
  • Ask her friends and family to put in a good word for him and help convince her to give him another chance.
  • Continually try to discuss the relationship and where they went wrong, as a way of showing her how serious he is about getting her back.
  • Tell her that he is willing to wait for her no matter how long it takes.

Yet, in most cases, rather than think, “That’s so sweet. My ex really is putting in a lot of effort to make things right between us,” she just keeps rejecting his attempts to get her back.



A relationship is the last step of the ex back process, not the first one.

So, if a guy doesn’t start the ex back process by reawakening his ex’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and instead only focuses on getting her back into a relationship with him, she will usually just keep rejecting him.

She might say things like, “Forget about it. I know you mean well, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. What’s done is done and it’s time that we accept we’re not meant to be together and move on. We had our chance, but it didn’t work out. Please just accept that and stop harassing me all the time. It’s over between us, okay?”

So, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop rejecting your attempts to get her back, you have to focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you first.

Rather than always using every interaction you have with her to hopefully convince her to give you another chance, just focus on making her feel good to be talking to you again.

For example:

  • Use humor to break down her walls and make her smile and laugh with you again.
  • Maintain your confidence around her, no matter what she says or does to put you off (e.g. she is being stony and unwelcoming towards you and saying that she never wants to get back together again).
  • Be assertive (in a loving way) and show her that you’re the more dominant one in the relationship and are not intimidated by her recent rejections of you.
  • Flirt with her to build up sexual tension between you and her.

When you take the pressure off your ex girlfriend to give the relationship another chance and instead use interactions to re-attract her, what you wanted from her all along actually starts to happen.

She stops putting up walls every time you interact with her and begins to wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with you again.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend keeps rejecting your attempts to get her back is…

2. She can see that you don’t understand what secretly turned her off about you

You might be aware of some of the reasons why she lost feelings for you, but are you aware of all of them?

In almost all cases, a man won’t know all of his ex woman’s reasons for falling out of love with him and no longer feel attracted to him anymore.

This is because most women don’t explain all of their subtle reasons in detail.

They don’t want to have to take on the role of teaching their guy how to be attractive.

He either gets it or he doesn’t.

If he doesn’t, she reacts by feeling turned off, losing interest and falling out of love.

Meanwhile, a guy is thinking, “What is happening to my relationship? She used to love me so much and now she’s being distant and cold?”

Before he knows it, she breaks up with him and he is then left wondering what the heck happened.

So, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop rejecting your attempts to get her back, you need to understand her real, secret reasons for breaking up with you.

Then, the next time you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) she will be able to pick up (via the way you talk and interact with her) that you truly understand what caused her to feel turned off and are no longer the same guy that she broke up with.

When she can see that not only have you figured out her real, secret reasons for breaking up with you, but that you’ve also already taken steps to improve yourself, she will instinctively feel herself respecting you once again.

When she can respect you again, she will also start to feel sexually attracted and when she feels those two things, the idea of giving you another chance will start to make sense to her again.

However, if you try to get her back by offering her the wrong things (e.g. to spend even more time with her, when she’s already feeling smothered by you, or to do whatever she wants you to do when what she really needs is for you to be more manly and take the lead in the relationship), you will most likely keep getting rejected.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend keeps rejecting your attempts to get her back is…

3. She is turned off by your desperation for her

After a break up, a guy might make the mistake of being extra nice to his ex and bending over backwards to please her, in the hope that she will change her mind and give him another chance.

Yet, in most cases, the opposite happens.


A woman wants to be with a man that she can look up to and respect, not a guy that she can push around and control.

So, if you’ve been chasing after your ex and have allowed her to walk all over you and control you with her moods, it’s very likely that your approach has given her a false sense of power and superiority over you.

In other words, she feels like she is better than you, even though she isn’t.

Unfortunately, feeling that way about you only destroys what is left of her respect for you, so she naturally keeps rejecting you.

Don’t worry though.

You can begin to undo that and make her want you back by triggering her feelings and building on them, without even asking for another chance.

How can you do that?

You need to start by standing your ground with her and showing her (in a dominant, but loving way) that even though you want her back, you’re are no longer dependent on her to feel like you’re good enough as a man.

You know that you are good enough, regardless of whether she says you are or not.

You feel good about yourself, are confident, happy and forward moving in life, with or without her.

Yes, it would be nice if you and her got back together again, but if that doesn’t happen, you know for sure that you will have a happy and fulfilling life without her.

I know, I know.

That’s not what you want, but if you want to re-attract her, you’ve got to be able to feel that way about the situation.

Feeling that way, allows you to think, talk, behave and act in a way that shows her you are no longer emotionally dependent on her, which is attractive.

When she can see for herself that you’re no longer desperate to get her back and that you’re confident and happy and getting on with your life without her, she will automatically begin to see you in a new light.

You will seem more attractive, appealing and likeable.

As a result, she will feel drawn to you in a way that she hasn’t in a long time.

Here’s the thing…

Whether a woman is meeting a guy for the first time, in a relationship or thinking about giving him another chance, she will always be instinctively attracted to his emotional strengths (e.g. confidence, self-belief, the ability to cope with difficult situations in life, drive and determination) and repelled by his emotional weaknesses (e.g. desperation, insecurity, self-doubt, neediness, inability to handle what life throws at him).

So, when your ex realizes that you’re no longer desperate to get her back, she will automatically start to perceive you as being more emotionally strong and masculine.

As a result, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect and attraction for you again.

Her guard will being to come down and she will think about you and look at you from a new, more positive perspective because you are now behaving like the kind of man that she can actually look up to and respect.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend keeps rejecting your attempts to get her back is…

4. You’re trying to get her back via text

When you broke up, if your girlfriend said something like, “It’s over between us and I don’t want to see you or talk to you again,” it probably would have hurt you and damaged your confidence.

So, you might now feel a bit unwelcome to call her on the phone, or meet up with her in person.

As a result, you may have resorted to only interacting with her via text messages.

If that applies to you and your situation, then listen up…

Only using text as your main way of trying to get her back simply won’t work.


If your ex doesn’t even want to be in the same room as you right now or answer your calls, what makes you think she will be open to getting back together if you’re asking her via text?

It’s highly unlikely that she is thinking, “That’s so sweet. Even though I’ve been such a bitch to him and have refused to talk to him on the phone or see him in person, he hasn’t given up on trying to get me back via text. He’s still hanging in there and persevering, no matter how difficult I’m being towards him. Based on that, I can’t go on rejecting him, can I? I have to give him another chance, because he deserves it for not giving up. After all, if a guy keeps texting, he is worth keeping!”

Instead, she might be thinking something like, “I can’t believe he’s already trying to get me back when I still haven’t forgiven him for what happened between us. Not only that, he’s trying to convince me via text. He’s just hiding behind texts and hoping that I will suddenly change my mind and want him back in my life. Well, he’s got another thing coming! It’s over and he can send me texts until his fingers turn blue, but I am done with him for now. It’s going to take a lot more than a bunch of text messages to reawaken my feelings for him. He doesn’t get that though. Well, he will when I start moving on.”

Remember: It’s impossible for a text message on a little screen to have the same impact as words spoken over the phone, or in person where a woman can see your body language and assess your state of mind.

Texts can help, as I explain in the video below, but you shouldn’t be using texts as your main way of getting her back…

So, if you want your ex girlfriend to stop rejecting your attempts to get her back, make sure that you’re not trying to convince her to give you another chance via text.

Instead, get on a phone call or get to an in person meet up right away.

When she can observe your assertive body language and hear the confidence in your voice, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some surges of respect and attraction for you again.

When that happens, you won’t have to ask her to get back together because it will be something that she wants as well.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend keeps rejecting your attempts to get her back is…

5. You haven’t made her feel enough of a spark of sexual and romantic attraction for you yet

It’s likely that you’ve tried a lot of ways to convince your ex to get back with you, so chances are, you’ve made her feel something for you again.

However, if she’s still rejecting you, it means that your attempts have fallen short and whatever you’re doing is not enough yet to make her feel like it would be a good idea to give you another chance.

So, to turn all that around and make her want to be your girl again, you have to focus on making her feel rushes of sexual and romantic attraction when you interact with her.

How can you do that?

By displaying some of the characteristics and personality traits that women are instinctively attracted to.

For example:

  • Being confident and at ease in her presence, regardless of what she says or does to make you feel unsure of yourself.
  • Using humor to ease the tension between you and her and making her drop her guard a little bit.
  • Flirting with her to create a sexual vibe between you.
  • Responding differently to the way she expects you to (e.g. if she rejects you, rather than get upset, you laugh and make a joke about her being a drama queen).

When you start making her feel attracted in the ways that she always wanted, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again, even if just a little bit.

When that happens, her walls come down and getting her back becomes a lot easier.

3 Ways a Guy Can Go Wrong When an Ex Girlfriend Keeps Rejecting His Attempts to Get Her Back

Learn the mistakes of other guys to ensure that you get your ex woman back quicker and easier.

Here’s where other guys go wrong when in a situation like yours…

1. Using the same approach on her and expecting a different response

If you keep using the same approach with your ex girlfriend that you’ve been using up to this point (e.g. being insecure, giving her too much power over you, trying to convince her to want a relationship before you’ve even re-attracted her sexually and romantically), she will most likely continue to reject you.

So, you need to start creating feelings of sexual and romantic attraction inside of her (e.g. by maintaining your confidence around her regardless of how cold she’s being towards you, using humor to break down her defenses and make her feel relaxed around you, using flirting to create sexual tension).

When you do that, her feelings of respect and attraction for you will naturally begin to resurface, whether she wants them to or not.

You can then build on those feelings and get her back, without her even realizing she’s falling in love with you all over again.

Another mistake to avoid is…

2. Deciding that if nothing works, you’ll have to cut off contact and hope that she comes back on her own

Ignoring an ex woman for 30 or 60 days usually only works if she is still in love with her ex and is secretly hoping they will get back together.

However, if a woman keeps rejecting her ex’s attempts to get her back, then it’s more than likely she’s not still in love with him at the moment.

As a result, him cutting off contact will actually work in her favor.

Rather than come running back to him, she will use the time apart to move on and find herself another guy.

Here’s the thing…

If you want your ex back, you have to stay in her life (not in a needy, annoying way. In a confident, attractive way) and use every interaction you have with her (e.g. via text, social media, on the phone and in person), to reawaken her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.

That is what works on women.

It’s not the same for men though.

Women can more easily just cut off contact after a guy dumps them and if he can’t get laid or move on, he will usually come back to her.

Yet, if a woman breaks up with a guy that she is no longer attracted to or in love with, she will rarely come running back to him if he doesn’t contact her.

What works on women is re-attraction.

You’ve got to re-attract her, seduce her sexually and get her back on your terms, rather than leaving it all up to her to hopefully come running back to you, even though she doesn’t love you or want you.

Another mistake to avoid is…

3. Not using new attraction techniques to stir up new, more interesting feelings inside of her

Not knowing what else to do to get his ex back, a guy will sometimes decide to just hang around with her and act like a nice, sweet, neutral friend in the hope that she will eventually develop feelings for him and give him another chance.

That can work if the guy is good at flirting and sexually seducing a woman, but if he’s just being nice and friendly, it will hardly ever work.

The guy will just end up in the friend zone and she will move on with new guys, leaving him behind feeling lost and heartbroken.

Here’s the thing…

If you don’t actively re-awaken your ex girlfriend’s feelings of sexual and romantic attraction by behaving in new and interesting ways around her, she’s just going to have friendly or neutral feelings for you.

So, don’t just sit around being a nice, non-sexual friend.

Shake things up by showing her that you are a new man.

Make her laugh and smile.

Stand up to her in a dominant, but loving way.

Flirt with her and make her feel like a real woman around you (i.e. make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to your masculine vibe and approach to conversations and interactions).

The more you do that, the less she will push you away because she will naturally feel drawn to you and want more of you.

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