4 possible reasons why your ex texted you to say that she is happy and doing fine on her own are:
1. You’ve been making the mistake of trying to get her back via text
Have you been trying to get her back via text messages?
Don’t worry, most guys make that mistake because it seems so easy and instant to contact her via text.
Just type in some words, hit send and you’re done.
Yet, it doesn’t work well for ex back situations.
Texts are great when you’re dating a new girl or are in a happy relationship with a woman, but not when you’re trying to get an ex back who isn’t interested.
If you want her back, you need to have the balls to call her and re-attract her on the phone, rather than hiding behind texts…
Don’t worry if you have made the mistake of trying to text her back.
You can recover from that simply by calling her and re-attracting her on a phone call and then re-attracting her again in person.
Then, she won’t be so happy without you.
She will feel attracted to you again and if she doesn’t get back with you right away at the meet up, she will go away missing you and regretting not giving you another chance.
Her guard will then come down and you can contact her, meet up with her and get her back the next time.
Many guys are able to get their ex woman back right away, but if your case is a little more difficult, don’t worry.
Just focus on re-attracting her and you will be able to make her want you back and give you another chance.
Of course, not all guys know about what you’re learning now.
After a break up, a guy usually doesn’t know what he needs to say or do to get his woman to give him another chance.
He fears that if she says the wrong thing, she will reject him and he will then lose his chance with her.
So, to ‘play it safe,’ he sticks to just texting her.
He may think something like, “She’s really mad at me right now, so if I try to call her, she’s probably not going to answer. So, I better text her.”
He might then send her a string of text messages where he:
- Apologizes to her over and over again, hoping that she will take pity on him and give him another chance.
- Talks about good memories they shared to hopefully make her miss him (e.g. “Remember all the good times we had together? Sure we fought often, but we also laughed a lot. That has to count for something, right?”).
- Asks her for another chance.
- Asks her to tell him what she needs him to change to get another chance.
- Tries to remain in her life as a friend (e.g. texting, “Hey, so how was your day?” or, “How did you go with that project at work? I hope it went well”).
It seems like it will work, but it doesn’t in most cases.
The feelings aren’t mutual, so she just doesn’t care.
If a guy wants his woman back, he first has to make her have feelings for him.
Only then will she begin to care about his point of view or feel like she should give him another chance.
So, when an ex guy tries to make a woman give him another chance based on what he’s texting her, she just doesn’t fall for it in most cases.
Rather than make her think, “Ohh, how silly of me. He does have good intentions! I was wrong to break up with him,” she thinks something like, “Why is he asking me for another chance via text? Can’t he be bothered to talk to me face-to-face or over the phone, or is he texting because he doesn’t have the balls to face me?”
Even though she might not answer every time he calls, he still needs to have the balls to call and get her to meet up with him.
Women respect balls, not insecurity or fear in men.
If you’re hiding behind text, she is going to sense that and it’s going to turn her off.
You’ve got to be the stronger one and make the reconciliation happen.
Be a man about it.
Get her back.
Stop hiding behind texts.
It doesn’t matter if you think she might not like it when you call.
Just call her.
She will like it when you make her laugh and smile.
Don’t worry about any potential awkwardness at the start.
Facing up to that is more than worth it because you can actually re-attract her and bring her guard down, so you can then get her to meet up with you and feel even more attracted in person.
So, enough with the texts.
You have to understand that texting simply doesn’t make an ex woman feel enough respect and attraction to make her want to forgive you and meet up with you in person.
On a phone call, she can hear your tonality and how you’re expressing yourself to determine whether or not you’ve really changed (e.g. you are more confident, self-assured, motivated or emotionally masculine now) or if you’re still stuck at the same level as before (e.g. you’re still insecure, timid or afraid to stand up for yourself).
You don’t have to waste weeks or months trying to get her to hopefully realize that via text.
On a phone call, you achieve that in 30 seconds to a minute.
So, stop texting and just get your ex on a phone call with you.
When you get her on the phone, make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new you.
Then get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
When you meet up with her in person, build on the initial spark of attraction and respect she felt for you over the phone.
Then, the idea of giving you another chance will begin to feel good to her.
She will feel like life would actually be fun and interesting if she gave you another chance and watched what unfolded.
Another reason why your ex may have texted you to say that she was happy without you is that…
2. She’s trying to make you feel hurt and jealous to get emotional revenge for how you treated her during the relationship
Sometimes, a woman will feel bitter and angry over what happened between her and her ex.
For example: In the relationship, he might have started taking her for granted.
He stopped paying attention to her, put her in last place in his life after work, family and friends and he may have also broken his promises to her time and time again.
He might have also gotten angry at her often and been controlling and just expected her to put up with it.
In other words, he took her love, loyalty and presence in his life for granted and assumed that she would stick with him no matter what.
In a case like that, after a break up a woman will sometimes want to make her ex feel as bad as he made her feel when they were together.
She might try to make him jealous by sending him a text like, “I just wanted to say hi and let you know I’m happy and doing fine on my own. I’ve been having lots of fun with my friends and enjoying my freedom. How are you? How’s things?”
She’s hoping that it will hurt him and make him feel the kind of emotional pain she experienced during the relationship as he was taking her for granted.
Another possible reason why…
3. You used the No Contact Rule (i.e. ignored your ex for 30-60 days) and she moved on with her life
For most ex back situations, the No Contact rule only makes a situation worse and results in a woman moving on and feeling fine without her ex.
So, if you’ve made the mistake of ignoring her and hoping that she would miss you because of that, don’t worry – you can recover from the mistake.
From now on, you need to focus on using every interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to make her feel SOMETHING for you again.
Make her feel sparks of respect, attraction and love, so you can interrupt the process of her moving on and feeling fine without you.
When you do that, she suddenly stops feeling like she wants to be apart from you and begins to feel drawn to you.
Things that seemed fun to her without you, now start to lose their appeal.
When she goes places or does new things without you, she catches herself wondering what it would be like if you were there to experience it as well.
As a result, her guard comes down and you can then easily guy her back into a relationship.
You can accomplish this in a week if you do it right.
You don’t need to waste time ignoring her and hoping that simply not being in her life will do the trick.
That isn’t what works for most ex back situations.
In most ex back situations, the woman is over the guy and no longer has feelings for him, so she doesn’t care that he isn’t contacting her.
This is why you need to contact her and reactivate her feelings for you.
That stops the process of her moving on and feeling fine without you.
Of course, not every guy knows what you are learning here.
Most guys can’t think of anything else to do than stop contacting their ex woman, because a guy will assume that he’s tried everything (e.g. begging, pleading, discussing, promising to change) and nothing has worked.
He hasn’t tried everything.
He hasn’t tried re-attracting her.
Re-attracting your ex is essential if you want her to stop feeling so happy without you and start missing you and wanting you back.
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy after breaking up with him, she’s not going to worry that much about not hearing from him.
She doesn’t feel respect, attraction or love for him anymore, so it doesn’t really matter to her.
Instead, she feels relieved that he’s not chasing after her in an annoying way (i.e. begging and pleading for another chance) and simply uses the space to move on without him.
Then, if the guy contacts her after a long absence (e.g. by sending her a text saying something like, “Hey, I just wanted to say hi. How have you been?”), he will usually be disappointed to find out that she has moved on without him and is happy and doing fine now.
He might then express his disappointed by texting something like, “You’ve moved on already? Wow, I guess I didn’t mean much to you after all.”
Obviously, that isn’t going to make a woman feel respect and attraction for a guy and will instead make her feel even more turned off by him.
Women don’t feel respect and attraction for guys who seek pity or play the victim card and try to make her feel guilty.
So, what should you do instead?
Here’s an example…
Imagine you’re talking to your ex on the phone and she says, “Why are you calling me? I don’t know what you want from me after all this time. I’m happy now and doing fine on my own.”
Simply remain calm and confidently say something like, “That’s awesome! I’m glad that you’re doing well. I’m happy for you. I’d love to hear all about what you’ve been up to since we broke up and I can tell you all my news too. It’s great to hear that we’ve both moved on and can be mature adults with each other without holding on to all the baggage from the past.”
Alternatively, you might say something like, “That’s great to hear. I was hoping that you were happy. Life has been great for me too. I’m glad that we can just talk as ex’s who are friends and nothing else.”
By saying something like that to her, you are letting her see that you’re not pressuring her into getting back with you.
As a result, she can bring her guard down a little and allow herself to smile, laugh and even feels some attraction for you as you talk to her.
You can then her feelings of attraction for you to get her to agree to meet up with you in person.
In person, she can see your body language and watch your reactions to the things she intentionally says and does to try and throw you off (e.g. teasing you about your new haircut, asking if you have a new girlfriend, talking about a guy who is interested in her).
She can see that no matter what she says or does, you remain confident and you believe in your value to her as a man.
As a result, she naturally feels respect and attraction for you because you are clearly a confident, masculine guy that deserves more than she has been giving you credit for lately.
Her guard then comes down even further and you can then get to a hug, kiss and sex.
Another reason why she might have said that she’s happy and doing fine without you is that…
4. She’s actually lying and is trying to get you to chase her and get her back
After a break up, a woman can still have feelings for ex and kind of want him back.
Yet, regardless of how she feels about him, she won’t always want to make it obvious that he has a chance.
Instead, she just waits for him to take the lead and get her back.
If he doesn’t try to get he back, she might try to shock him into action by texting him something along the lines of, “Hey, I just wanted you to know that I’m happy and doing fine on my own. I hope you’re well.”
Yet, what sometimes happens is that rather than spur him into action, hearing that she’s happy just makes some guys give up.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “I guess it’s really over then. She is happy without me, so she probably doesn’t love me anymore. I suppose the honorable thing for me to do now is to leave her alone and not bother her anymore. If she wants me back, she’ll come back on her own.”
He might then lose his chance of actually getting her back because, while he’s ignoring her, she’s slowly getting over him and opening herself up to new guys.
Eventually, she meets a new guy who she finds attractive and interesting and decides to move on with him.
Meanwhile, her ex is still missing her and secretly hoping that she contacts him one day and says that she wants him back.
A woman is sitting at home after a break up and secretly missing her ex a little, even though she doesn’t admit it to him.
She is disappointed about the way things turned out between them, but deep down she also hopes that they might be able to work things out.
Yet, rather than come out and say that to him, she just waits to see if he’s man enough to get her back.
If he does (i.e. he contacts her, re-attracts her and guides her back into loving him again), she will go along with the process and see what happens.
On the other hand, if he just gives up trying to get her back because she has rejected his initial attempt, or if waits for her to take the lead and tell him what to do, she will start to doubt her feelings for him.
She may begin to think, “Did I waste my time with him? Clearly he isn’t man enough for me. I don’t want to be with a guy who waits for my permission to make a move. I want a man who knows how to take control and make things happen.”
She then begins to switch off her feelings for him (e.g. by getting angry over his lack of action, focusing on all of his negative qualities, blaming him for everything that went wrong or comparing him to other guys).
Here’s the thing…
I’ve been working on ex back cases for many years now and I’ve seen so many cases where a guy has given up too easily.
His initial approach was all wrong (i.e. begging, pleading, trying to convince her) and he then gives up because he thinks that’s all he can do.
Alternatively, in some situations, a guy will tell his ex woman that he is willing to wait as long as it takes for her to change her mind.
He might say something like, “I know that you’re happy without me now and I wish you the best, but I just want you to know that I am willing to wait for you as long as it takes. So, tell me…do you think that you might ever want to get back together again sometime in the future?”
A woman might decide to mess with his head by saying, “Maybe, but not now” and make him waste time waiting for her.
In other cases, she might shut him down and say, “No. It’s over between us and you need to accept that. I am happy and doing fine now and I don’t want to ruin that. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.”
It might seem like a good move to say something like the example above where you promise to wait for her, but it doesn’t work for one main reason.
What is that?
The feelings aren’t mutual.
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she no longer has feelings for him, so she just moves on and doesn’t care.
In the cases where she does still have feelings for her ex, asking her if she will change her mind doesn’t work either.
Most women don’t want to give a guy an easy pass like that.
A woman wants to use the break up as an opportunity to test how confident and emotionally strong her guy really is.
She wants to see if he is capable of rising up to the challenge and making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him NOW.
If he can’t do that, she will most likely just move on and forget all about him.
In some cases, the woman won’t move on and will contact her ex, but that’s just not a risk that I recommend you take.
I’ve worked on 100s of ex back cases and have seen so many guys lose their opportunity with an ex woman by leaving it all in her hands.
If you really care about her and want her back for real, then don’t leave her in control of your fate.
Take control by re-attracting her and guiding her back into strong feelings of love, sexual attraction and romantic attraction for you.
When you do that, you can get her back NOW.
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