5 possible reasons why she felt that way:
1. You weren’t enough of a challenge for her
Women love it when they feel love and appreciated by you, but they also feel the need to love you, appreciate you and impress you.
You can make a woman feel that way by being a challenge to impress, while also treating her well.
When your girlfriend feels the need to impress you and maintain your interest, but she also feels loved, then it becomes a never-ending source of attraction between you and her.
She tries hard to look good for you, do nice things for you and make you love her more and you occasionally let her see that her efforts are working.
She then tries harder to get more and more of your positive reactions and in the process of doing that, it becomes one of the many reasons why she falls madly in love with you, is excited by the relationship and never wants to leave you.
Unfortunately, many guys simply aren’t aware of how to build on a woman’s feelings of respect, attraction and love over time in a relationship.
As a result, a guy’s girlfriend will usually fall out of love with him and eventually dump him.
Things may have been good at the start, but she eventually gets bored of him and wants out of the relationship, even though he is still in love with her and wants the relationship to continue.
That horrible experience can happen to a guy repeatedly throughout life, without him truly ever figuring out where he is going wrong, or what he could do differently to avoid an eventual break up.
So, once again, he meets a new woman, really likes her and manages to get a relationship going, but she eventually loses interest and dumps him.
He looks on and sees other men who are able to maintain a happy, loving, passionate relationship with a woman, but he doesn’t know how the man is able to maintain her respect, attraction and love like that over time.
Why doesn’t he know?
In some cases, it can be because:
- He never had an effective male role model while growing up (e.g. his father didn’t teach him about women, his parent’s weren’t very happy in their relationship, so his father wasn’t someone he could look up to regarding relationships, he was raised by a single mother who taught him to be a nice guy, his father was emotionally distant).
- He has unknowingly gotten a lot of his ideas about how to behave in a relationship with a woman via TV, movies or music videos, which are all based on a fantasy version of reality, rather than how life actually works.
- He has never taken the time to learn how to maintain a happy, in love relationship with a woman.
- The only people who have given him advice about relationships are those who are being politically correct (i.e. articles written by women or wimpy men, teachers from school or university).
- The only people who have given him advice about relationships are his friends, who also struggle to keep relationships together.
He doesn’t think that there is anything to know about relationships that could help him.
As a result, he might grow up thinking that you just have to get lucky and there is no way to keep a relationship happy, in love and passionate for life.
Without ever really knowing where he has been going wrong, he might also mistakenly assume that he is already being a great boyfriend (fiancé or husband) to him woman.
Yet, just like he has experienced in the past, another girlfriend dumps him (e.g. because he was boring, the relationship didn’t have enough of a spark, he took her presence in his life for granted).
In many cases, this can come down to him simply not being enough of a challenge for his girlfriend (i.e. she doesn’t really feel much or any need to impress him, she rarely feels excited when she interacts with him).
He doesn’t understand that just being a nice boyfriend and ‘getting along with her’ isn’t the secret recipe for lifelong love, attraction and enjoyment in a relationship.
That approach to a relationship is boring and causes a couple to end up feeling more like friends, roommates or housemates.
That’s not what a woman wants to feel in a romantic relationship.
So, if your ex thought you were boring, you can actually get her back quite easily by using a new and improved approach to attraction.
When you interact with your ex again and she suddenly feels new sparks of respect and attraction based on your new approach to her, she will naturally feel drawn to you.
She will feel as though you really have changed and aren’t the boring guy she left behind, which will make her begin to imagine what it would be like to be with you again.
If she likes what she imagines, that is when feelings of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) will kick in for her.
She will fear that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will end up regretting it later on.
She will also fear that other women will find the new, more attractive version of you appealing and you might end up falling in love with a new woman and not wanting her back.
So, this can be one of the reasons why an ex will just open up and give you another chance.
Of course, there are more way that you can attract her and I will explain that throughout this article.
For now, another possible reason why your ex may have thought you were boring is…
2. Your behavior was too predictable for her
Some guys like to stick to certain routines in life (e.g. he likes to have the same kind of breakfast every day, do the same kinds of things on weekends, go to bed/shower/eat at a specific time every day).
Yet, if a guy also doesn’t add in much or any romance or spontaneity into a relationship (e.g. breaking out of his routine to do something different that feels special for him and her), a woman can get pretty bored with the relationship over time.
Many women will put up with it, but they will feel bored.
It won’t necessarily be her main reason for breaking up with him, but she will start to question why she is sticking with a relationship that seems like it’s on repeat 24/7, 365 days per year.
In another example, some guys think that they are being romantic or spontaneous, but the woman finds it predictable and boring over time.
For example: A guy might…
- Always buy his woman flowers and chocolates for her birthday, Valentine’s Day or their anniversary, because that’s what he thinks he needs to do.
- Take her to the same restaurant for all of their romantic dinners, because it’s where they went on their first date and she used to tell him that she enjoyed it.
- Call or text her every day because he feels that that is what a good boyfriend should do.
- Approach sex in the same kind of way with her, to the point where she can predict what position he will want to do and for how long.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even though he’s being a good guy and doing everything ‘right’ (i.e. he’s taking her out for romantic dinners, buying her flowers or chocolates, having fairly regular sex with her), what he isn’t doing is sparking her feelings of excitement and anticipation.
Women love to spend time feeling excited and wondering about something that a man might do in the future, rather than always knowing exactly what he will do, or pretty much what he will do.
When a woman can predict her boyfriend’s every move or most of them, it becomes boring to her.
One of the main reasons why is that most women want to feel consumed by their love for a man, to the point where he essentially becomes what her life is all about.
She wants to think about him most of the time and try to win over more and more of her love.
This is why you will have seen some women asking their man, “What are you thinking?” but you might not have realized how excited she is by the thought of not knowing and how much it turns her on.
If the man doesn’t tell her exactly what he is thinking, it’s so much more exciting for her.
He can tell her something, but not give her the full answer, or he can give her a humorous answer, “I was thinking about pizza” to let her see that she can’t access all of his thoughts.
He isn’t an open book to her.
He is a mystery that she is constantly trying to solve, but can never quite figure out.
A woman can enjoy experiencing that in a relationship for LIFE and it can be one of the main reasons she will never want to let him go.
Yet, a lot of men don’t understand it.
Additionally, they assume that it would be too much work to be unpredictable around a woman in a relationship.
Yet, the reality is that it is 100x times easier and more enjoyable to be in the position where the woman is constantly thinking about you, fantasizing about you and wanting to win over more of your love, compared to being in a position of being 50/50 equals with a woman in a boring relationship.
If you create a 50/50 relationship dynamic where you and her feel more like friends, then it might last a few months or even a few years, but she will get bored.
Additionally, if she notices that her friends, coworkers, or family members are happy, excited and in love in their relationships, she may begin thinking, “Why can’t I have that? I want be in love like that. I want to be with a man who keeps me off balance because he isn’t predictable. I want a man who can surprise me with his behavior, words or actions, rather than being with a guy where I can pretty much predict how he will react, what he will do and what he will say. I want to feel that excitement of being with a man who I actually remain in love with.”
If the relationship doesn’t ever really improve and continues to feel boring and predictable for her, she might eventually decide to break up with him and try to find a new man who is less predictable.
She might not hate you or feel like she could never get back with you, but she will most likely look at you as just a friend now.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you need to let her see that you are no longer the ‘boring,’ predictable guy she used to see you as.
You need to be able to attract her in new ways, so she no longer looks at you as just an ex who is just like a friend to her.
Instead, she feels drawn to you based on the new, more exciting approach you now take when interacting with her.
An approach that causes her to naturally feel sparks of respect, attraction and love with you.
Another possible reason why your ex may have thought you were boring, is…
3. She didn’t understand your approach to life
Sometimes, a guy might not be a boring guy at all.
Yet, his woman will see him as being boring because he doesn’t live his life in the way that she thinks a guy should (e.g. partying a lot, doing lots of adventurous things, having loads of friends that he catches up with all the time, holding parties).
As far as he is concerned, it’s not ‘boring’ to stay at home most of the time and not socialize a lot.
He only has a handful of friends that he interacts with in person and he doesn’t see them very often.
He rarely posts things on social media (or doesn’t use social media) and the only time he interacts with his friends is via phone call, in person or when playing video games online.
He might also spend a lot of time doing things by himself (e.g. reading, meditating, gardening, watching TV).
When there’s a party, wedding or a get-together that his girlfriend wants to go to, he might usually prefer to stay at home instead.
As a result, she ends up going alone or she doesn’t go at all.
A woman might put up with that for a few months or years, but she will usually get to the point where she feels bored with him and sees him as holding her back from experiencing fun things in life.
If she is a bit of an extrovert who loves to be around people, she might begin to complain to him about the way he lives his life and say that he is boring.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Just because doesn’t live life in the way his woman thinks it should be lived, it doesn’t make him boring.
The same might be true for you and your ex.
Maybe she just didn’t understand your approach to life and as a result, she naively expected you to be more like her.
Of course, just because you’re not really a boring guy and she might have just been a bit shallow in the way she looked at you and life, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care about her wants and needs.
If you want her back, you’re going to need to adapt to her ways a little bit more.
That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, be like her and then end up resenting her for turning you into someone you’re not.
Instead, it’s about doing some of the things that she likes to do from time to time, so she feels like you and her have more in common and that her life with you isn’t boring.
Of course, she is your ex right now, so you might be wondering how you can let her see that?
Well, one of the easiest ways is via social media where you post up photos and videos of yourself enjoying life with others and looking confident, happy, loved and included.
If you don’t want to post anything on social media, then you can let her see the changes in you by interacting with her on a phone call (audio or video) or in person and letting her sense how differently you are approaching life now.
When she can see that you are now living life in a way that is appealing to her, she will begin to doubt her decision to break up with you.
You can then build on her attraction for the new and improved you and get her back into a relationship that feels better for the both of you.
On the other hand, if you don’t want to adjust to your ex’s way of living even a little bit, then maybe you’d be better off moving on and finding yourself a new woman who gets you just the way you are.
Another possible reason why your ex may have thought you were boring, is…
4. You held back from expressing your raw masculinity around her
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that in order for a woman to be happy in a relationship, he needs to just get along with her by being more like her.
He might initially be a confident, masculine guy, but when she picks on him or gets annoyed at him for being masculine (a test of his masculinity), he takes it seriously and thinks that he needs to tone down his masculinity around her.
That is a huge mistake and something I explain this video…
Some guys never find out what you’re learning now and as a result, they never, ever get to maintain a woman’s attraction in a relationship.
The woman always loses interest in him over time, even though he could have easily maintained and built on her interest over time.
The relationship could have worked, but he failed her tests of his masculinity and became too soft, neutral or ‘friend like’ to her, which simply doesn’t make a woman feel attracted and in love.
Additionally, some guys end up being so afraid of their woman’s reaction, or so tired of dealing with her tantrums (which are fake by the way and are simply a test of his emotional strength) that they just give in and let her call most or all of the shots in the relationship.
For example: When there’s a decision to be made about what to eat, where to go or what to get for the house (e.g. new furniture) rather than giving his input, he says something like, “I don’t mind. You choose. I’m happy with whatever you decide.”
When there’s a problem that needs to be solved (e.g. where to get the money to pay an unexpected bill, whether to employ a helper in the home or not, where to invest their savings), he leaves it up to her to sort it out.
In his mind, he feels like he is being a good boyfriend because she is getting to do what she wants.
This can happen when a guy regularly sees women being in charge in relationships on TV, acting like a boss in music videos or complaining about men in online articles (usually written by unattractive women who can’t get a man to love them, or man-hating feminists who have issues about men that stem from their childhood experiences).
By not being able to see through all the noise on TV, in music videos and in online articles written by messed up women, a guy might eventually develop the belief that women want to be in charge, all men are assholes and men need to be very nice to women at all times.
Yet, when a man approaches women in that way, they simply do not love him.
They feel bored, restless, unsatisfied and even angry at the man for being such a pussy.
Of course, there are some women who like to dominate their man in a relationship, boss him around and make all the decisions, but those women are usually unattractive or have issues.
The reality is that the majority of women do not want to find themselves in a relationship with a man who surpasses his masculinity around her out of fear.
The majority of women want BALLS.
They love BALLS.
Here’s the thing…
Even though many modern women feel independent and might even go around saying that they can do anything that a man can do, they are still instinctively attracted to and respect a man who isn’t afraid to express his masculinity around them (i.e. have balls).
It doesn’t mean that a man should be overly domineering towards a woman, or try to control her, boss her around and make all of the decisions.
Instead, it’s simply about being the emotionally stronger one (i.e. the one with more balls) who has the courage and emotional strength to take on the role of leading the way to a better life for both of them.
That doesn’t mean that a man needs to do everything.
Instead, a woman wants to contribute and help build a better future together with her man, as long as she can see that for the most part, he is leading the way for them.
This allows her to fully relax into thinking, feeling, behaving and taking action like a feminine woman (i.e. free to be emotional, illogical and silly at times, change her mind like the weather).
If a man is able to remain strong, centered and focused on moving forward in the direction that he wants (regardless of the fact that she changes her mind like the weather), then she will stick to him like glue and follow him for life.
Yet, if he can’t handle her femininity and she has to tone it down completely and be more like a man, then she isn’t going to be happy.
She isn’t going to be able to look up to him, respect him and be in love with him.
Some men think women are crazy for being like that, but let me put it into perspective for you.
Imagine that a woman wanted you to be like a woman, instead of a man.
She wanted you to be emotionally sensitive, illogical and change your mind all the time like a girl.
She wanted you to cry over random things, feel scared when watching a movie, scream like a girl and gossip all day long.
You’d probably laugh at her and tell her that she is nuts.
Women feel the same way about men who want them to think, feel, behave and act more like a man.
If you want to be successful with women for life and never get dumped again, you need to understand and accept that men and women are completely different.
Don’t ever suppress your masculinity around a woman because you think it’s what she wants you to do, or what will make her happy.
What a woman really wants is for you to maintain your balls around her, no matter what she says or does.
If you can do that, she will never, ever see you as being boring.
Of course, she might test the strength of your balls by saying that you are boring when you’re not, but you have to be ready for that.
You can’t ever expect women to be like a man, who says what he means and does what he says.
Women regularly say things they don’t mean (e.g. “You’re boring. I hate you!”) and don’t always do what they say (e.g. “I just want a nice guy” and she then lusts after guys who aren’t nice to her).
So, if you want to get your ex back, don’t be afraid to interact with her and let her experience your raw masculinity.
That doesn’t mean you need to interact with her and be an asshole or a jerk, but you need to have more balls.
Let her feel turned on by the fact that you have leveled up and become so much more of a man since she last spoke to you.
Another possible reason why your ex might have thought you were boring, is…
5. You were too nice or too neutral
Sometimes a guy will get most of his information about attracting a woman from his mother, sister or another woman like an aunt or grandmother, who tells him things like, “Be nice to women. Be a perfect gentleman.”
Yet, what a lot of guys don’t know is that there is a BIG difference between what women SAY and DO when it comes to men.
While it’s true that women do want a good guy, they simply do not feel turned on and excited by nice guys or neutral guys.
Unfortunately, many guys never realize that and end up messing up relationship after relationship with women by being too nice or neutral.
For example: If a guy is a nice guy, he will aim to be polite, sweet and nice regardless of how badly a woman is treating him.
He will assume that he is being the perfect boyfriend (fiancé or husband) because he gives her more than she gives him, puts her needs in front of his own, sacrifices everything for her and only wants the best for her.
On the surface, he seems like an amazing guy and that she should feel so lucky to have him.
Yet, rather than feeling lucky, she feels bored by his unrelenting niceness.
As a result, she may begin behaving badly (e.g. being selfish, going out with her friends and not inviting him, spending his money recklessly, throwing regular tantrums, being disrespectful towards him), in the hope of getting a reaction out of him.
If he continues to be nice and sweet to her regardless of how she behaves, she will lose respect for him for not having the balls to stand up to her.
When that happens, she will also stop feeling attracted to him and without those two emotions in place, she will also fall out of love with him.
Then, staying in a relationship with him will seem pointless to her.
Alternatively, in some cases, the nice guy will bottle up his emotions for so long and feel so angry inside that he eventually explodes with anger and hurts her physically, or shows her a nasty side of himself that he has been hiding all along.
Then, the woman sees that his niceness was always just an act and in reality, he’s actually quite an angry and potentially violent man.
Seeing that can make her want to dump him because she feels as though he has been lying to her all along by putting on an act of being Mr. Nice Guy.
He might then feel furious at her for dumping him, especially after all he has done for her.
He had treated her so well, put up with so much crap from her and in the end, she dumped him.
As a result, he might then assume that being good to a woman is a mistake and he needs to become more of an asshole instead.
Here’s the thing though…
There is nothing wrong with being a good man when in a relationship with a woman.
Yet, what you need to understand is that there is a big difference between a good man who is a challenge vs. a nice guy who puts up with whatever a woman gives him, just so he can be with her.
The good man who makes her feel like she needs to impress him too (i.e. he has a challenge) won’t ever have to worry about a woman seeing him as boring.
On the other hand, a nice guy who essentially puts up with whatever a woman wants, or however badly she treats him, just so he hopefully doesn’t lose her, will end up losing her because she won’t be able to fully respect him, feel attracted to him or be in love with him as a result.
This is why, if your ex broke up with you because you were too nice or too neutral (i.e. just like a friend, roommate or housemate) with her, then you need to change the way you talk to her and interact with her from now on.
When you make her feel attracted in new and exciting ways (which is easy to do by the way), she will naturally feel curious and will want to interact with you more.
If you are able to maintain your new approach to her, she will feel compelled to give you another chance, or at least hook up with you to see how she feels afterwards.
4 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Successfully Re-attract Her and Get Her Back
1. Promising to change and be more spontaneous and fun if she just gives you another chance
For most women, promises from men about changing are just empty words because she will have heard it before from previous boyfriends.
Only a small percentage of men have the intelligence and follow through to actually change and level up as a man.
These men not only succeed with women, but they also succeed in life.
It’s about approaching your life in a way where you are always leveling up, even if it’s just a little bit.
Men who always approach their life in that way, are able to quickly and easily make continuous improvements that, over time, turn them into the kind of man that other men respect and that women feel sexually and romantically attracted to.
Yet, men who approach their life in a way where they only occasionally make some improvements, will find that they get left behind by more successful friends and by women who once loved them, but eventually got bored of being with them.
So, if you want to convince your ex that you really have changed man (e.g. you are more fun and spontaneous now, rather than being what she sees as boring or predictable), then you’re going to have to prove it to her via your actions, rather than your words.
When your ex can see that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with, she will naturally feel drawn to you again, even if it’s just out of curiosity initially.
She will want to interact with you and find out why you are being so fun, interesting and spontaneous now.
Whatever you do though, do not tell her that you’re doing it to impress her, or because she said to do it.
Always do things because you want to do them, not because a woman is telling you to do it.
Women do not want to be with a guy who essentially follows her orders, or lives life the way she wants to live it, to then hopefully be accepted by her.
So, if she asks you why you’re being more spontaneous these days, just say something like, “I just felt like doing new things. I love my life so much more now. It’s great” and subtly let her feel like she is missing out.
She might not admit it right away, but she will begin to feel like you are leaving her behind and she is missing out on being with a more interesting, appealing and attractive version of you.
In some cases, that alone can cause a woman to want to get back with you just so she can stop feeling like she is being left behind.
Then, if the relationship really does feel better and you are able to attract her in new ways, she won’t be able to stop herself from wanting to continue to see you.
Yet, if you just promise to change and be more fun if she gives you another chance, she will almost certainly keep rejecting you and attempting to move on without you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Not realizing that the real source of boredom was the lack of sexual and romantic attraction
At the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and exciting, it’s easy for a woman to overlook certain things about a guy that turn her off (e.g. he is a bit clingy, he lacks confidence in social situations, his struggles to make a decision without her approval, he is too nice, he seems a bit emotionally sensitive or insecure).
She is willing to overlook things based on the sexual and romantic attraction she is feeling.
Attraction is a powerful force and it causes both men and women to want to avoid thinking about the negatives, just so they can enjoy it.
Yet, if a woman finds herself in a relationship where the spark dies out and the guy has no idea how to get it back, she will naturally start to focus on the negatives about him.
If she decides to put up with them for a while, she might try to make the relationship more exciting by suggesting they go on holiday, or going out to party or be around other people.
However, if nothing she does gets the spark back, then she will gradually start to feel bored and restless in the relationship.
Eventually, she will dump her boyfriend and if he asks, she might even admit that she thought he was kind of boring.
So, if you want to get her back, you really have to understand what creates a spark in a relationship between a man and a woman.
Additionally, you’ve got to be able to create that spark when you interact with her, so she feels attracted and then opens herself up to being seduced by you again.
If you just try to get her back by talking to her as a friend, or texting with her, then she’s almost certainly not going to feel the spark and will simply continue moving on without you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Feeling like it would be impossible to get her back
Every day, all over the world, women go back to their ex boyfriend to give the relationship another chance, even if it was a bad break up, or if it seemed like she would never change her mind.
Women do change their mind and go back to ex boyfriends and even ex husbands.
You can be one of those men who get another chance with the woman you love.
Just because your ex said that you were boring, it doesn’t mean that you can’t make her see you as being interesting, appealing, exciting and attractive now.
In fact, when you interact with her and she experiences the new you for herself, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling curious about what it would be like to be with the new, improved version of you.
When that happens, she automatically stops thinking of you as being boring because she is feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her.
On the other hand, if go through your life from now on assuming that it would be impossible to get her back, then she will almost certainly continue moving on without you.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Turning into a boring guy because you assume that’s who you are and will always be
When a woman says that a guy is boring, it can cause him to think, “Well, maybe she has a point. Maybe I am a boring guy. Maybe I’m doomed to be single, or to experience failed relationships for life because of how boring I am. I should just accept it and give up.”
Yet, thinking like that only makes a guy seem unattractive to his ex and to other women as well.
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. high self-esteem, self-assuredness) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. low self-esteem, self-doubt).
So, when a guy lacks confidence and assumes that women couldn’t possibly find him interesting, he might end up coming across as boring because he surpasses his personality.
He holds back because he believes that he’s just not going to be good enough.
As a result, his ex rejects him and attractive women don’t find him appealing, which then confirms his belief that he’s boring and attractive women don’t want him.
Don’t let that life of misery happen to you.
Just because your ex said she thought you were boring, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fate or destiny to be a boring guy who always has women lose interest in him.