The odds of getting an ex back are high, if you follow the right process.
These days, guys get women back all the time, because there is actually a process you can follow that has been proven to work.
Basically, the fastest way to get an ex back is to actively make her have some feelings of respect, attraction and love for you again.
Once you do that, her guard comes down and you can then guide her through the ex back process.
Where Most Guys Start
Most guys start trying to get their woman back when she says something final like, “It’s over between us. I don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
In her mind, she is convinced that she no longer has feelings for him, but the reality is that human feelings are not set in stone.
Feelings change all the time.
Just think about how you have gone from hating someone to liking them, or really disliking a person to really liking them.
You might have even done that with an ex girlfriend. Why? Human emotions can change.
You can change the way your ex feels.
Even if she’s been saying, “There’s nothing you can say or do that will make me change my mind,” she won’t be able to help herself from feeling drawn to you if you are actively making her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
She will want to get back together with you because it feels good to interact with you now.
That’s how it works, regardless of how complicated the break up was or how much the guy stuffed up.
Most guys don’t focus on actively making their ex feel respect, attraction and love again and instead go inactive by ignoring their ex in the hopes that she will come running back.
Other guys don’t give her an inch of space and keep talking, behaving and acting in ways that are unattractive to her.
So, if you want the highest odds of getting your ex back, make sure that you approach this by focusing on her feelings, rather than trying to explain to her why she should give you another chance or by wasting time ignoring her and hoping that she comes back.
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder…or Does it?
Some guys will waste weeks or even months ignoring their ex, in the hopes that she will come running back.
A guy might think, “I’ve heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder. So maybe if I stay out of touch for a while, my ex will forget about all the bad things that happened between us and she will begin to miss me. Then she will either call me up and we can get back together again, or when I call her, she will be happy to hear from me again, rather than tell me she doesn’t want to see me anymore.”
Yet, that’s not how it works in almost all ex back cases. Why?
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, she’s not going to feel like she’s missing out on much if she stops hearing from him, and she will usually just move on.
Look at it this way…
Imagine what must be going on in a woman’s head when she has just broken up with a guy.
She is likely feeling hurt, angry, disappointed, and a whole host of other negative emotions.
So, if a woman currently feels like she hates her ex, not hearing from him is not going to suddenly make her think, “Hmmm… I miss my ex so much! Even though I hated him previously, now that I haven’t heard from him in such a long time, I can’t get him out of my mind. I didn’t have feelings for him near the end, but wow – I can’t bear not having him in my life. Not hearing from him has made me realize that I can’t live without him. I need him!”
Instead, she is more likely going to be thinking, “Good riddance to that rubbish boyfriend” or “I knew he was the wrong guy for me, and now his actions are confirming that. He hasn’t even called me to try and get me back. What an asshole” or “Thank you for not contacting me! It forced me to go out and meet some guys and I hooked up with a few. I’m now moving on with my life and forgetting all about you.”
This is why I only recommend that a guy give his woman 3 to 7 days of space before contacting her to guide her through the ex back process.
Ignoring her for too long often makes her feel like you don’t even care.
She might be saying to you that she’s over it and doesn’t want you back, but that’s just what she is saying.
What she says and what she will respond to are two completely different things, which is why you need to have the confidence and courage to guide her back into a relationship.
When you do get back together, she will thank you for giving her the exciting, exhilarating experience of falling back in love with a guy that she once hoped was the one.
Getting back with an ex is a really enjoyable experience for both the man and the woman, so don’t deprive you and her of that by ignoring her because you think contacting her will make you look needy.
You will only look needy if you are actually needy (i.e. you need her for your emotional security, you’re not happy without her).
If you are happy with or without her and then contact her to get her back, then you’re a confident, loving, masculine man who is doing the right thing and guiding his woman back into a more amazing, loving relationship than before.
Yet, if you don’t call, she may begin to think, “Well obviously I didn’t mean that much to him, so I’m not going to waste any more time crying over what could have been. I’m going to go out and get laid,” or “I can’t believe I thought he loved me when that is obviously not true. If he loved me he would have called, so I’m getting on with my life from now on. I’m going to let that guy at work take me out on a date to make me feel special. He’ll treat me nicely and I may just sleep with him at the end of the night.”
When she starts thinking that way, she begins to disconnect from her feelings for ex and before she knows it, she feels fine without him.
That’s not what you want.
Based on all of my experience helping guys to get women back, the odds of getting an ex back by ignoring her are only 20%, whereas active re-attraction has about an 80% success rate.
Of course, some guys could have gotten her back, but simply didn’t follow the attraction instructions that I provide in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System.
Active re-attraction, plus the courage and confidence to keep pushing forward as you guide her back into a relationship will give you the highest odds of getting her back.
Don’t waste time ignoring her if you are ready to start re-attracting her.
If you ignore her for a long time and are stick stuck at pretty much the same level that you were when she broke up with you, she’s just going to disconnect from you again.
On the other hand, when you actively make your ex have feelings for you again (e.g. by making her feel like a real woman around you, allowing her to look up to you and respect you as a man, making her laugh and smile) the odds of getting her back go way up.
She then starts to wonder, “What’s going on here? Why do I feel good when I’m around him and miss him when I’m not talking to him? Why am I suddenly worried that he might find another girlfriend? What is this feeling? I want to see him.”
From that moment on, all you’ve got to do is to continue saying and doing the types of things that attract her while you confidently guide her back into a relationship.
Decreasing the Odds
If you are saying and doing the types of things that turn your ex off, your odds of getting her back are going to plummet.
On the other hand, when you make some attractive changes and improvements to the way you are talking to her and interacting with her, your odds go up.
So, what are the types of things that turn a woman off?
1. Trying to convince her to change her mind.
One of the most common reactions that guys have when they get broken up with is to try to convince their ex to change her mind with long explanations, debates, or discussions, rather than triggering her feelings of respect, attraction and love to allow her to naturally change her mind on her own.
What a guy like this doesn’t realize, is that for his woman to come to the decision to break up with him, she will have probably been thinking about it for a long, long time.
She may even have said something like, “If you don’t change this thing, I’m going to break up with you,” or “I can’t live like this for much longer. If you don’t make some changes I’m going to leave you.”
He might just write that off as her being emotional and acting like a typical woman, but they are honest warning that a woman will eventually act upon.
Saying things like that is a woman’s way of giving a guy a second (and even in some cases a third or fourth) chance to change and become the man that she needs him to be.
So, by the time she breaks up with him, his explaining, debating, or discussing with her why she should give him another chance usually falls on deaf ears, because she’s likely thinking, “I’ve given you so many chances and nothing has ever changed. Why should this time be any different?”
The fact is, a guy cannot convince a woman to change her mind with mere words, if he’s not also getting her to feel real respect and attraction for him again via his actions and behavior.
Without properly re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction first, she’s usually going to be saying things like, “I know you mean well, but it’s just not working out between us anymore,” or “I know you still care about me, but I just don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
Essentially what she’s saying is that his explanations, debates and discussions are not actually triggering any strong feelings for him, and therefore, she’s not seeing any point in giving him another chance.
So, if you want to increase your odds of getting an ex back, the most important thing to focus on is triggering her feelings of respect, attraction and love by behaving in some of the ways that are attractive to women (e.g. by making her feel feminine and girly when she’s in your presence, making her smile and laugh when she’s interacting with you, being charismatic).
By triggering her feelings of respect and attraction, you are allowing her to change her mind on her own, rather than trying to force her to do it by pleading, begging, asking, convincing, and debating with her.
Then, getting back together will feel like the right thing for her to do, not like she is doing you a favor or being forced into giving you another chance out of pity or because you feel like you deserve it.
2. Thinking that improving your physical appearance will increase your odds of getting her back.
When some guys learn that the fastest way to get an ex back is by triggering her feelings of attraction, the mistake they make is thinking about attraction in terms of their physical appearance.
For example: A guy might start going to the gym and working out because he has heard women saying things like, “Oh! Guys with big muscles are so hot,” or “Look at his abs. Wow” or, he has seen women drooling over the male models in magazines.
He may then think something like, “If I have to trigger my ex’s feelings of attraction to get her back, then I’ll need a excellent gym physique. Being just an ordinary guy isn’t going to turn her on. I need to look good.”
Alternatively, some guys will go and buy lots of new clothes and shoes, hoping to attract her back with their new, fashionable look.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Looks, clothes or muscles are not as attractive to a woman as a man’s ability to attract her emotionally.
Essentially, a woman’s emotional attraction to a guy is based on how he makes her feel when she’s with him.
For example: Does he make her feel like a real woman around him (feminine, girly, submissive, emotional), or does she feel emotionally stronger than him because he is being needy, clingy or insecure?
Can she look up to him and respect him as a man, or does she look down on him and feel like she has to be his teacher in life on how to be the kind of man she needs him to be?
Is he confident enough to be able to make her laugh and smile (especially when she is being cold towards him), or does he crumble at the first sign of resistance from her?
These are the things that are much more attractive to women than a guy’s looks.
Yes, some women are attracted to the more superficial things in men (e.g. muscles, clothes, cars) but the majority of women are more attracted to behaviors and inner qualities about men and how it makes her feel.
So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, you have to understand one thing… her emotional attraction for you is what she refers to as her “feelings.”
If, right now, she’s saying things like, “I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” or, “My feelings for you are gone,” what she’s basically saying is that the way you are interacting with her now is not triggering her feelings of attraction for you.
However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t start to trigger those feelings inside of her.
When You Trigger Her Feelings of Respect, Attraction and Love She Will Naturally Change Her Mind
If you are serious about getting your ex back, the main thing you need to focus on, is to use every interaction that you have with her (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call, in person) to trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
How can you do that?
You can do that by…
- Adjusting the way that you’re talking to her.
- Making some changes and improvements to the way you are interacting with her.
- Reacting differently to what she says and does (e.g. not taking her bitchy or cold behavior so seriously and instead turning it into something to laugh about together).
- Making her feel feminine and girly in your presence.
- Making her smile, laugh and feel happy when she’s interacting with you.
- Showing her that you’ve moved beyond the level you were at when you broke up.
When you interact with her in ways that trigger her feelings of respect and attraction, everything changes automatically.
The odds of getting her back go way up, because she is now feeling drawn to you.