Here are 6 of the most common reasons why a woman will dump her boyfriend via email and what you can do to get her back:
1. She wants to avoid the drama of an in person break up
Sometimes, a woman knows that her ex is probably going to make a scene if she tells him that she wants to break up with him.
For example: Some of the ways a guy might react that she wants to avoid being faced with are…
He begs, pleads, cries and says things like, “Please babe, don’t do this to me. I can’t lose you. Please, I’m begging you… just give me one more chance,” to make her change her mind.
He begins making promises to change and become a better man for her if she agrees to stay with him a bit longer. Yet, in reality he’s already promised her before and nothing has changed so she doesn’t believe him.
He asks her to tell him what he needs to do to make her happy in the relationship with him and ends up stressing her out and turning her off, because he needs her help and guidance to become a better, more attractive man for her.
He gets angry with her and possibly insults her, accuses her of cheating on him or even becomes aggressive or violent towards her.
So, to steer clear of a potentially uncomfortable situation, she might simply decide to send him an email to end the relationship with him.
Here’s the thing…
Although that’s not the best way to be broken up with, it also doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship with your girl.
In fact, you can turn things around with her and make her want you back quickly.
When you re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you, it becomes a lot more difficult for her to hold onto her decision to break up with you.
So, rather than just accept that she dumped you via email and do nothing, give her a call and focus on just making her laugh, smile and feel relaxed while talking to you.
Initially she might seem a bit tense when she sees that it’s you calling her and she may be offish on the phone with you.
The key is not to get sucked into that and allow yourself to feel nervous or insecure.
Instead, just keep things light and relaxed and make her feel that you’re just catching up with her, rather than trying to talk her into giving you another chance.
The more you make her feel good while talking to you, the more her defenses will come down.
Then getting her to meet up with you becomes something she’s willing to do, making it easy for you to fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another common reason why a woman will dump a guy via email is…
2. She knows that if she broke up with him in person, he would be able to seduce her back into a relationship or at least give him one more chance
In some cases, a woman might still have feelings for her ex guy.
However, deep down she knows that he’s never going to give her the attraction experience she truly wants in the relationship with him.
In fact, she’s likely given him a few chances already to level up and change his approach to attraction with her (e.g. be more confident rather than insecure, become more emotionally mature rather than irresponsible and reckless, treating her more like a desirable woman rather than a roommate), but he hasn’t, or just doesn’t know how to change.
So, rather than risk being seduced into sticking with him (which he’s likely done several times before), she decides to dump him via email to be on the safe side this time around.
The good news in a situation like this is that if your ex still has feelings for you, you can get her back pretty quickly.
However, this time, you need to make sure that you prove to her that she’s not going to regret her decision.
That means you need to prepare yourself to give her an upgraded attraction experience.
Then call her on the phone and begin re-sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you again, so she starts to regret her decision to dump you.
Don’t contact her and use the same old approach that she got used to and tired of before.
Make her feel attracted to you in new and interesting ways, so she can’t resist giving you another chance, or at least want to meet up with you to see how she feels.
Here are some examples of how to do it:
- Show her by way of your attitude, conversation style, behavior and the way you respond to her that you have already improved some of the things that were turning her off before (e.g. if you were emotionally immature and drifting though your life without a purpose or direction before, you’re now more focused and determined and are actively pursuing your goals and dreams, if you were too submissive in the relationship with her causing her to feel more emotionally dominant than you, you’re now more emotionally masculine and stand up to her in an assertive, yet loving way when she’s out of line, if you were insecure and needy before, you’re now more confident and emotionally independent).
- React differently to what she says and does, (e.g. if previously you let her get away with being rude, disrespectful or with creating unnecessary drama, you now stand up to her in a loving, yet assertive way, if you previously became angry and jealous when she talked about other guys with you, you now remain calm and laugh at her attempts to make you feel unsure of yourself and your value to her).
- Flirt with her to create some sexual tension between you and make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence, rather than being too friendly or neutral with her so she feels that you’re no longer interested in her sexually and switches off her feelings for you.
The more she interacts with you and realizes that you’re nothing like the guy she dumped, the more she will want you back.
When that happens, her guard will naturally begin to come down and she then becomes open to giving you another chance.
3. She doesn’t care enough to dump him in any other way
In most relationships, a woman won’t just decide to break up with her guy on the spur of the moment.
Instead, she will likely think about it and debate it in her mind for a long time before she makes up her mind.
For example: She will first give her guy some clues and hints about things that are turning her off about him (e.g. he’s too clingy and needy, he’s lazy and doesn’t have a plan for his life and by association hers, he’s too boring and predictable all the time so she feels as though she can do anything and get away with it).
If he picks up on what is bothering her and quickly adjusts his approach to attraction with her, it will automatically renew her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
She will then put in even more effort to be a loving, devoted woman to him too.
However, if she realizes that no matter how often she tries to get him to change and improve, he never seems to want to do it, or just doesn’t know how to, she will eventually begin to close herself off from him emotionally.
She might not break up with him right away, but mentally she will be preparing herself to move on.
So, by the time she gets fed up with trying to make things work with him, she’s already over him and breaking up with him now just a formality.
As a result, she just goes ahead and dumps him via email, because she doesn’t care enough about him anymore to put in the effort to be nice.
Fortunately though, even in a case like this, it’s not impossible for you to get your ex back if you want to.
All it takes is for you to understand what led to her disconnecting from her feelings for you and make some adjustments to your approach to attraction with her (e.g. by becoming more confident and emotionally strong rather than feeling insecure around her, by not being so emotionally dependent on her and being happy and content in your life with or without her in it, being more of a challenge to her thereby making her feel motivated to put in the effort to impress you to maintain your interest).
Then, when you interact with her over the phone and in person and she notices that you’ve leveled up as a man, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
That gives you the opening you need to fully reawaken her feelings for you and make her begin regretting her decision to dump you.
4. She doesn’t have the confidence to do it over the phone or in person
Some women feel quite insecure and unsure of themselves in challenging situations and will do anything to avoid confrontation in their life.
As a result, a woman like that will often chicken out from breaking up with a guy face to face, because she won’t be able to handle it if he asks her why she’s doing it.
So, rather than be put on the spot like that and end up feeling ill at ease, anxious and tense, she will often decide to dump the guy via email.
She will then try to get over him and move on as quickly as possible, usually by going out, meeting new men, hooking up, dating and getting into a new relationship.
This is why, if your ex dumped you via email don’t let it get to you.
It may simply be because she felt too intimidated by the situation (i.e. having to break up with you) to be able to look you in the eye and say what she wanted to say.
Of course, if you want her back, don’t make the same mistake she did and try to do it via email, or text.
Instead, get her on a phone call with you right away and begin re-sparking some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you again (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again, flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you) so she wants to meet up with you in person.
Then, when you meet up with her and you make her feel surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you again based on the way you talk, act, behave and respond to her, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.
As a result, she will want to follow her heart and surrender to the exciting feelings of being your girl again.
5. She cheated on you or had another guy lined up and doesn’t want you to find out about it
In some cases, a woman might cheat on her guy.
Some of her reasons for doing that might be because:
The relationship dynamic made her lose respect, attraction and love for him (e.g. she felt more valuable than him because of his insecurity and self-doubt, she was the emotionally dominant one and made all the decisions for the both of them).
The relationship became stuck and she felt things weren’t going anywhere (e.g. she wanted to move in together/get married/start a family while he wanted a casual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her with no strings attached).
The sexual spark between them faded away and he treated her more like his neutral friend or roommate than a desirable woman.
She’s just an untrustworthy woman and does this to the men she dates.
So, to avoid having to face him and risk him finding out that she cheated on him, she might just dump him via email to be on the safe side.
Here’s the thing though…
If your ex cheated on you and you’re prepared to forgive her and take her back, you’re going to have to make some changes, to ensure that she doesn’t do this to you again.
That’s not to say that it’s your fault that she cheated.
However, when a woman is truly in love and attracted to her man, she won’t easily be seduced by another guy.
So, if your ex cheated on you, maybe it’s because she wasn’t getting the love experience she truly wanted from you.
This is why, if you do take her back, you need to make sure that things will be different this time around.
You need to discover what may have caused her to feel unhappy in the relationship with you and make the necessary adjustments to your approach.
If you’re unsure of where to start, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Did I pay attention to her needs and desires in the relationship, or did I become neglectful and started taking her for granted?
- Did I make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman or did I treat her more like a buddy or roommate?
- Was our relationship still interesting, fun and exciting, or did it become a bit boring and predictable?
- Did I create the kind of relationship dynamic where she felt loved, appreciated and taken care of, thereby motivating her to be a good woman back to me, or did I make her feel like pulling away and treating me with less respect over time?
When you understand where you might have gone wrong in the relationship with your ex, you can then make some attractive adjustments to your approach.
Then, when you interact with her and she notices that you’re now at a different level as a man to when she broke up with you, not only will she want to get back with you again, she will also end up being the most loving, devoted, loyal woman to you.
She will stop feeling the urge to cheat on you, because no other man can make her feel the way she does when with you.
6. She knew that seeing you in emotional pain in person, would have made her feel guilty and possibly want to continue on for a little longer
Sometimes a woman is a really nice, sensitive person and she doesn’t like to see other people suffer.
A woman like that might really struggle with the idea of seeing the man she used to love going through a lot of pain.
So, when she decides to break up with him, she usually can’t do it face to fact, for the simple reason that she will feel so bad when she sees his pain, that she might change her mind and give him another chance on the spot.
Yet, deep down she knows that being in a relationship that doesn’t make her happy anymore out of feelings of guilt, is not a good enough reason to stick with a guy.
This is why she will likely chicken out and break up with him via email to avoid being sucked back into a relationship she doesn’t want.
Here’s the thing though…
You can make your ex want a relationship with you again.
You just need to give her the right motivation.
In other words, rather than getting her back through feelings of pity or guilt for you, you need to get her back because she now feels so much respect, attraction and love for you, that the idea of losing you makes her feel sick to her stomach.
So, from now on, use interactions with her to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by being confident when she’s being cold, using humor to break down her walls, flirting with her to create sparks of attraction).
The more attracted you can make her feel, the more she will believe that getting back with you is something that she wants to do.
Then once you’ve properly re-attracted her, you can guide her to a hug, kissing, sex and then back into a relationship.
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