6 possible reasons why your ex is avoiding you are:

1. She wants to see how you will react

Sometimes a woman will avoid her ex as a way of testing him to see what kind of a man he has become since the break up.

For example: Will he become angry, lose confidence, seek pity from her, or will he remain calm, confident and positive?

Depending on his reaction, she will know if he’s changed and become the kind of man she can be proud of, respect, feel attracted to and love, or someone she doesn’t want in her life.

The question you have to ask yourself is this: “Have I been behaving in ways that are making her doubt her decision to break up with me, or have I been making her feel like she made the right choice to leave me?”

If you have been saying and doing the type of things that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. being confident regardless of how cold or hostile she behaves towards you, using humor to make her laugh and smile even though she doesn’t want to, getting on with having a happy, fulfilled life without her) you will already have sparked her feelings for you.

Once you have sparked her feelings of respect, attraction and love, it will then begin to grow inside of her and she will find it difficult to avoid you.

You will be on her mind and she will curious to see how she would feel if she interacted with you again,

On the other hand, if you’ve been saying and doing the types of things that are naturally unattractive to women (e.g. complaining to her that she is making your life a misery, begging and pleading with her to stop avoiding you, telling her how lost you are without her), she won’t want anything to do with you anymore.

Another reason why your ex might be avoiding you is…

2. She is trying to find a replacement guy, so she can make a clean break from you

She is trying to find a replacement guy to make a clean break from you

In some instances, a woman might still have some residual feelings for her ex, so she is worried that she will easily give him another chance if he interacts with her and makes her feel attracted again.

So, rather than interact with him and get confused about what she wants, she decides to avoid him until she finds herself another man to replace him with.

Alternatively, she might not know how to handle the pain of breaking up with him, so she avoids him.

She doesn’t want to be interacting with him and dealing with all of the emotions that go along with it (e.g. sadness because things didn’t work out, anger for the way he treated her, missing him, feeling confused about her love for him, wanting to be hugged by him, constantly thinking about him and the relationship), so, she avoids him and looks for a replacement guy.

She hopes that if she falls in love with some other guy, it will be a lot easier to make a clean break, forget about her ex and move on with her life.

Yet, when her ex notices that she is avoiding him, he might start texting her to find out what is going on.

For example: A guy might text his ex and say something along the lines of, “Hey, why are you avoiding me? I really need to get hold of you. Why are you being like this? Please just give me one more chance to make things right between us.”

Yet, she doesn’t reply and isn’t interested in getting back together.


If a woman has been going out of her way to avoid an ex, she’s not going to be impressed that he’s asking for another chance via text.

Instead, she’s going to be thinking something like, “He hasn’t done anything to change how I feel, but all of sudden he’s texting me and asking me to give him another chance. He’s going to have to do better than that, otherwise I am going to move on without him.”

If you want your ex back for real, don’t waste time trying to ask her for another chance (or even hint at it) via text.

Instead, get her on a phone call with you and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

Another reason why your ex might be avoiding you…

3. She is hoping that time apart will make you calm down and stop chasing her

When a guy gets broken up with, he might waste a lot of energy trying to convince his ex change her mind.

For example: He might send her flowers with a love letter or poem, in the hope that she will be impressed, forget all about her reasons for breaking up with him and come running back to him.

Yet, even though something like that might work in Hollywood movies, in real life, if a woman has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for the guy, she’s not going to suddenly forget her reasons for breaking up with a guy and forgive him because he sent her pretty flowers.

Instead, she’s likely going to see it for what it is (i.e. a desperate attempt to get her back) and continue avoiding him in the hope that he gives up and leaves her alone.

So, if you want your ex to stop avoiding you and open herself up to the idea of getting back together again, you need to forget about being romantic for the moment.


Romance is only appreciated by a woman when the feelings are mutual (i.e. you and her attracted to each other, in love, respectful of each other).

If the feelings aren’t mutual, women feel annoyed, resentful and irritated by romantic gestures from a guy.

So, if you want her to appreciate your romantic, loving side, you need to make sure that the feelings are mutual first.

How can you do that?

Interact with her and show her that you’ve changed and become the man she always wanted you to be.

For example: You maintain your confidence around her, even when she tries to make you feel nervous or insecure by being distant or hostile towards you.

You use humor to break through her defenses and make her feel at ease when she interacts with you.

You take the dominant, leading role in the ex back process (i.e. you are the more emotionally courageous one, you make things happen, you remain confident no matter how cold or distant she is being), so she can relax and be a totally feminine woman around you.

You make her feel understood because you now understand the secret, subtle reasons why she broke up with you (e.g. you were too emotionally sensitive) and have already fixed that about yourself.

When she starts to feel attracted to you again, she will stop feeling the need to avoid you and will start feeling drawn to you in a way that feels interesting, exciting and new to her.

Another reason why your ex might be avoiding you is…

4. She is already seeing a new guy

Sometimes a woman doesn’t want to tell her ex that she has already seeing another guy.

How can you already be seeing a new guy?!

She doesn’t want to face up to a potentially uncomfortable situation (e.g. her ex begs and pleads with her) or even physically dangerous situation (e.g. her ex gets physically aggressive or potentially even violent) when she tells him about it.

So, she keeps quiet, avoids him and hopes that he eventually gives up and leaves her alone.

Of course, you might not be the sort of guy that would react in that way to a woman, but many guys do.

For example: If a woman tells her ex that she’s seeing a new guy, he might try and talk her out of her decision by saying things like, “How can you do this? How can you possibly be with another man already? Didn’t our love mean anything to you? You never even gave us a chance to try and work things out. You just moved on and forgot about everything we had together. Please…just give me a chance to show you that our love is stronger than anything else you will find with another guy.”

Alternatively, he might react badly and cause a big scene (e.g. shouting at her, calling her names, threatening to hurt her new guy).

So, rather than risk that happening to her, she decides to not tell him about the new guy and just avoid him altogether.

Then, when he eventually gets hold of her weeks or months later (e.g. on a phone call, bumps into her at an unexpected place) and asks, “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been trying to get hold of you for ages. I want to talk to you about our relationship,” she can say, “Sorry. I’ve been so busy with work/studies. I never realized that you were trying to reach me. Look…it has been so long since we spoke last that I honestly thought you’d moved on and forgotten about me. I’m seeing someone else now. I hope you understand. Now, please leave me alone. I wish you all the best.”

Alternatively, if she doesn’t want to risk telling him about the new guy, she will just say that she has been busy, isn’t interested in a relationship with anyone right now and wants him to leave her alone and move on.

Another reason why your ex might be avoiding you…

5. She is immature and doesn’t know how to end a relationship in a loving, respectful manner

She is immature and doesn't know how to end a relationship in a loving, respectful manner

If a woman is young, doesn’t have much (or any) experience with relationships and break ups, or is emotionally immature, she might not know how to handle the break up like a mature adult.

So, rather than maintain a friendship or at least be open to talking to her ex in a neutral way, she simply cuts him out of her life completely.

It doesn’t matter how great their relationship was or how much of a good guy he was to her.

She doesn’t know how to handle the situation, so she ignores him and avoids him completely.

A final reason why your ex might be avoiding you is…

6. You have scared her off by desperately or frantically trying to get her back

She is turned off by the approach you used to get her back

Sometimes the shock of being broken up with causes a guy to overreact and behave in ways that would ordinarily make him cringe.

For example: He shows up at her house or workplace uninvited and begs or pleads for another chance, or he gets her friends or family involved by calling and asking them to convince her to contact him.

He’s hoping that if he can just see her or talk to her again, she’ll suddenly realize that she misses him, avoiding him was a mistake and they should now get back together.

Yet, rather than convincing her to give him another chance, that type of behavior just makes a guy look desperate, which turns her off even more.

Alternatively, she starts to feel as though he’s stalking her, which makes her feel creeped out and afraid.

So, if your ex is avoiding you right now, it may be because you scared her off with your over the top, frantic or desperate behavior after the break up.

Fortunately, you can recover from it and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

For example: When you get her on a phone call, you can say something like, “Hey Rhonda, this is your crazy, stalker ex boyfriend speaking…I just wanted to say that I’ve finally come to my senses” and have a laugh.

Then add in something like, “I don’t expect you to ever take me back, but I just wanted to say sorry for acting like such a creep/loser/asshole. It was silly of me to behave in that way.”

By saying something like that to her, she can see that you realize your mistake and have the emotional maturity to accept it and learn from it.

As a result, she naturally feels a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

Then, she suddenly stops trying to avoid you and becomes open to texting you, talking to you on the phone and seeing you in person.

Of course, some women are easier to get back that others.

If your ex is a bit of hard case, you simply need to attract her in additional ways when you interact with her.

It’s very easy to do.

The more ways you trigger her feelings of respect and attraction during a conversation or interaction, the more she feels for you.

She stops wanting to avoid you and starts wanting to get back with you.

To her, the relationship isn’t over now.

She feels something for you again and wants to explore that feeling.

All you need to do is be confident and guide her back into a relationship.

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