5 possible reasons why your girlfriend said that she feels guilty for breaking up with you but is sticking to her decision:
1. Your approach to getting her back has turned her off even more
Sometimes, the shock of being broken up with can cause a guy to panic.
He might frantically say to himself, “I can’t believe this is happening! She is the love of my life and I’m going to lose her if I don’t do something right away to make her change her mind. I don’t care what it takes, I have to convince her not to go through with the break up!”
Unfortunately, that kind of thinking usually causes a guy to behave in unattractive ways, which then turns her off even more.
For example: A guy might…
- Beg and plead for another chance (e.g. “Please baby, don’t do this to us! I beg you… please don’t go. I’ll do anything if you change your mind”).
- Constantly tell her about his feelings and needs (e.g. “This can’t be happening. Don’t you realize how much you mean to me? Without you I’m lost. You mean the world to me”).
- Ask her to tell him what she wants (e.g. “I don’t know what I did to bring this on. Just tell me what you want me to change and I’ll do it. Anything you want me to do, I will do it. Just say the word and it’s done”).
- Try to use her feelings of guilt to make her feel even sorrier for him (e.g. “Does it make you happy to see me suffer this way? How can you be so cruel? You say that you feel guilty, but what does that give me? Nothing. We’re still broken up. I need you back”).
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Not only is he willing to beg and plead and do anything I ask of him for another chance, but he’s also so lost and unhappy without me. Wow! I feel so flattered that a guy will fall apart in this way over me. I mean, who doesn’t want an emotionally sensitive, emotionally weak guy for a boyfriend? That’s a dream guy! Every girl wants a wimpy guy! So, I can’t let him go. I’m changing my decision about being broken up and giving him another chance right now,” she’s just going to pull away from him even more.
A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on his ability to make her feel like she can look up to him and respect him as her man.
So, when a guy is coming across as being emotionally weak and needy (i.e. by begging, pleading, pouring his heart out and asking her to tell him what to do to be the man that she needs), he’s actually turning her off and making her lose respect for him even more.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to get your girlfriend back, what you should be doing is actively making her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again, so she naturally becomes unsure about her decision to break up with you.
On the other hand, if you continue turning her off with your behavior, you can’t expect her to feel motivated about changing her mind, right?
So, make sure that you are approaching the ex back process correctly from now on.
Remember: Attraction first and everything else after that.
Don’t try to get another chance with her if you haven’t even re-attracted her.
Make the feelings mutual first and then guide her back into a relationship.
Another reason why your girlfriend might be sticking to her decision to remain broken up is…
2. She doesn’t think you even know what you need to change to re-attract her
Quite often, when a woman breaks up with a guy, the first words out of his mouth are something along the lines of, “No, please don’t do this. I promise that I will change. Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything you say if you give me one more chance.”
Yet, rather than make her change her mind, a woman will think something like, “After all this time together and all the arguments and fights, he still doesn’t have a clue what I want him to change. I realize now that if I do give him another chance, he will be the same guy and I will need to help him, teach him and guide him for life. I don’t want to take on that role. I want a man who understands how to be the man in a relationship and how to maintain my feelings of respect, attraction and love. I mean, I do feel guilty for breaking up with him because he really is a nice guy, but I’m sticking to my decision because he simply doesn’t understand what I want from him. I don’t want to take on the responsibility of shaping him into the man that he needs to become.”
A woman doesn’t want to have to take her guy by the hand and lead him through the steps of becoming and being the man that she needs him to be.
Even if she feels bad about her decision, she would rather just break up with him and find herself a man who knows how to give her what she wants, than stick around and try to make things work with a guy who needs her to train him and shape him into a real man.
So, if you want your girlfriend to change her decision about being broken up, let her experience the changes in you when you next interact with her.
When she experiences the changes in you, her feelings will change.
She will feel differently about you (i.e. more respectful, more attracted and more in love than she has been since the break up).
So, what changes can you make?
Some of the most common things that a woman wants to see a guy change are for him to:
- Be more confident and believe in himself and in his value to her.
- Have more focus and direction in his life.
- Stop being so wimpy and weak-minded.
- Be more emotionally supportive of her and her dreams and desires.
- Want the same things that she does (e.g. to settle down, have more fun together, get serious about the future).
- Stop being jealous and controlling.
- Make her feel feminine and girly in comparison to his improved, increased masculine energy (e.g. he now talks, behaves and acts in a more masculine way).
- Be a consistent man, rather than letting her down all the time by putting in a half-hearted effort into what he does.
- Be the more emotionally dominant one in the relationship.
When you truly understand where you went wrong with your girlfriend, you can then change the things that she really wants you to change.
This is important.
So many guys lose their opportunity to get an ex girlfriend back because they offer her changes that she doesn’t even care about.
For example: She broke up with her boyfriend because he was too emotionally sensitive, but he’s promising to treat her better, listen more and be more available to her.
If he offers that, she’s not going to be interested.
You have to truly understand where you went wrong and start making some changes, improvements or adjustments in those areas.
Then, when you interact with her, she will be able to see the changes in you based on the way now talk, behave and interact with her.
When she sees that, she will be impressed because one of the most attractive things to a woman is a guy’s ability to change and improve, without needing her help and support.
If a guy is a self-improving, self-made man, she can relax around him and respect him, because he doesn’t need her help, support or encouragement to be who he is.
He knows how to be a real man and he is living life that way, whether she gives him a compliment about it or not.
Of course, when you are that kind of man, your woman will compliment you all the time.
It’s just that she doesn’t want to get the feeling that you need her compliments, support or encouragement.
She wants you to be a man who stands on his own two feet without needing her help.
When your ex can see that you are that kind of man, it will get rid of her doubts about you.
She will then feel surges of respect and attraction for you again.
As a result, she will begin to question her decision to remain broken up with you.
If you simply continue to make her feel attracted during the interaction, her guard will come down, her heart will open back up to you and you will be able to get her back.
Another reason why your girlfriend might be sticking to her decision is because…
3. She has already met someone else and is using him to get over you and move on
Sometimes a woman will be ready to move on very quickly after a break up.
So, her ex is wasting time feeling sad, rejected and hoping that she will miss him and come back, she’s already meeting new guys and trying to move on.
If she gets herself a new guy, she will focus on all of his positive qualities and compare them to her ex’s negative qualities to help herself move on.
For example: If her ex was too emotionally sensitive, she’ll use her new guy’s emotional strength to feel happy about her decision to end the relationship.
If her ex treated her more like a neutral friend than an attractive woman, she’ll enjoy feeling sexy and desirable again with a guy who looks at her with lust.
If her ex allowed her to dominate him, she’ll relax and allow her new guy to take the lead in the relationship.
If her new guy is confident and able to take the lead, she will keep telling herself that her ex just wasn’t man enough for her.
Then, when her ex contacts her and says something like, “Please give me another chance. Let’s try and work things out. I’ll do whatever it takes. Why don’t we go to counseling? Maybe that will help us. I honestly that believe our love is worth fighting for. Will you at least try?” she will be ready to say something like, “I feel guilty for breaking up with you, but I’m sticking to my decision. Please accept that and leave me alone.”
Another reason why your girlfriend might be sticking to her decision is because…
4. She’s given you plenty of chances before
In most relationships, a woman won’t just break up with her guy before she’s given him at least a few chances to change and improve.
For example: If a guy is too much of loner, a woman might try to encourage him to get out more.
A woman has a natural instinct to have a support system around her, rather than feeling like her and her man are essentially on their own in this world.
So, if her instincts are urging her to build a social circle, she might say something like, “Why don’t you invite some of your coworkers over for dinner this weekend? I’ll cook up something nice and we can have a bit of fun. It would be great to hang out with some friends for a change, rather than just the two of us all the time.”
If he listens to her and makes the effort to build some relationships outside of the one he has with her, her feelings of respect and attraction for him will deepen.
However, if she notices that no matter what she says to him, he keeps saying, “No,” or “What for? You’re more than enough for me. I don’t want other people around. Besides, no one is as much fun as you are,” she will begin to lose respect for him and her feelings of love and attraction will begin to fade.
If he notices the changes in her (e.g. she stops being as affectionate, seems upset at him all the time, complains about being bored), he might try to appease her by saying something like, “I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been trying to make friends, but I promise to make more of an effort. Please don’t give up on me.”
She might then say to herself, “Okay, great. He sounds like he means it this time, but if he doesn’t follow through, I am not giving him another chance.”
If nothing changes, she will eventually feel like she just has to break up with him to teach him a lesion.
If he then comes crying to her and saying, “I stuffed up! I didn’t keep my promises to you, but if you just give me one last chance, I will do whatever it takes to change and make you happy,” rather than believe him, she will likely be thinking, “I’ve given him more chances than he deserves. Clearly he doesn’t want to change and I can’t force him. It’s sad because he is a great guy in so many other ways and I do care for him, but I can’t stick around with someone who keeps breaking his word to me.”
So, if your girlfriend said that she feels guilty for breaking up with you, but is sticking to her decision, it may be because you’ve made important promises to her that you didn’t keep.
The only way to change her mind now, is to interact with her and show her that you’ve already started to change and improve the things you and her used to fight about.
Be the new, improved you around her (e.g. when you’re talking on the phone or seeing each other face-to-face) and let her feel a flood of respect and attraction for you again.
If you do that, changing her decision about breaking up becomes something that she wants to do, rather than feeling like you are forcing her into it.
Finally, another possible reason why your girlfriend might be sticking to her decision is because…
5. She doesn’t feel enough respect for you to change her mind
One of the main reasons why a woman will lose respect for a guy is when she feels more emotionally dominant than him.
In other words, he’s just too soft for her.
He’s too much of a wimp, nice guy or is too gentle or reserved for her.
She feels too powerful for him.
Then, when she breaks up with him, he doesn’t know what else to do, but continue being the wimpy, insecure guy he has been.
For example: He says things like, “I’m sorry! Just give me a chance and I promise I’ll do anything you ask. You name it and I’ll do it for you if it will make you happy. Please don’t break up with me.”
He hopes that giving her even more power over him will make her feel satisfied.
Yet, that’s not actually what she wants.
She wants him to show her his emotional strength and emotional masculinity, so she can relax into feeling like a feminine woman around him.
If he shows her more emotional weakness, she feels like she is in a masculine or dominant position (e.g. like a mother, big sister, older friend).
She doesn’t want that.
She wants to feel the sexual attraction that comes from feeling girly in comparison to her man’s emotional masculinity (e.g. his balls, his courage, his confidence under pressure).
So, if you want your girlfriend back for real, you have to commit to the idea of being a much stronger man that you’ve ever been before.
I’m not talking about lifting weights and building physical strength.
I’m talking about the most attractive strength of all; emotional strength.
That is what women really care about.
A man’s emotional strength makes a woman feel respect, attraction and love for him.
It also makes her feel safe around him, knowing that no matter what happens in life, he is one of the rare men who is strong enough to handle it while remaining calm, confident and in control.
That’s what a woman really wants.
So, if you want her back, don’t waste time ignoring her and hoping that she contacts you and says, “Okay. I feel better now. I’ve decided to change my decision about being broken up.”
That’s not going to happen in 99% of cases.
What works is when you actively make your ex feel attracted to you during interactions.
You interact with her and display traits and behaviors that naturally attract women.
Then, rather than saying, “I feel guilty about breaking up with you, but I’m sticking to my decision,” she will be the one asking you, “I think I made a mistake. Should we give our relationship another chance?”