Yes, it’s okay to send texts like that as long as you follow these basic rules:
1. Don’t send one every morning and night
Although it might be tempting to start and finish your day with a text message to your ex (e.g. because you still care for her and want to stay connected to her, you want to be the first and last person on her mind so that she knows for sure that you want her back), it’s not a good idea to do it every day.
Once or twice a week is much better because it gives her a chance to miss you, rather than feeling annoyed or bored by your constant attention.
For example: You send her a text on a Monday morning saying something along the lines of, “Hey sleepy head, this is your Monday morning wakeup call. Hope you have an awesome week.”
Alternatively, you can send her a text on Monday night saying something like, “If your day was half as busy as mine, I’m sure you’ll be looking forward to a good night sleep. Sweet dreams!”
That’s fine if you send her something like that on a Monday and then wait until Thursday to text her again.
She has a few days to miss you and can wonder about you over the weekend.
In many cases, a woman will be missing her ex and will begin proactively texting him and hinting at the fact that she wants to meet up in person.
Then, a guy can get her on a phone call and arrange a meet up, re-attract her in person and get her back for real.
That’s how it works.
However, if you text your ex every day and she is currently turned off by you, your texts aren’t going to make her think, “Awww, how sweet. Even though we’ve broken up, I’m still the first and last person on his mind every day. He obviously still cares for me to be thinking about me like that. Maybe I made a mistake by breaking up with him. He clearly deserves another chance!”
Instead, she will most likely find it annoying and be thinking things like, “Why is he being so needy? He texts me every morning and every night like we’re still a couple. What is his problem? Doesn’t he realize that we aren’t together any more? He’s making me feel even more convinced that he’s not the right guy for me. Doesn’t he realize that a woman needs to be able to miss a man and want him? Is he too afraid to let me miss him? Is that how needy he is these days?”
If she’s thinking like that, she may continue to tolerate your texts, while in the background, she will be trying to move on with her life and possibly even hook up with other guys.
Alternatively, she may eventually block you on her phone in the hopes that you will get the message and leave her alone.
You don’t want that to happen, right?
So, make sure that you don’t overdo your texts and end up turning her off.
What you do want is to stay in touch with her just enough to make her miss you.
Make her naturally begin to wonder what you’re doing now that you’re apart (e.g. Have you gotten over her? Are you seeing another woman? Are you enjoying life more now that you aren’t in constant contact with her?).
Then, when you get her on a phone call and suggest a meet up, she will much more open to the idea, rather than looking for excuses to avoid you like she has up until now.
Another mistake to avoid making when texting your ex is…
2. Don’t hide behind texts
If your ex always replies to your texts, it might be tempting to think, “This is good! She’s not telling me to leave her alone, so it must mean something. I’ll just stick to texting and wait until she gives me a sign that she’s open to talking to me on the phone…and then I’ll call her.”
Unfortunately, that rarely, if ever happens in ex back situations where the guy still loves his ex woman, but she no longer has feelings for him.
Here’s the thing…
If a woman still at least has some feelings for her ex, she might keep the lines of communication open with him (i.e. by responding to his texts), but she won’t make it easy for him to get her back.
Instead, she will wait for him to make the first move to see if he is man enough to take the lead in the ex back process.
If he doesn’t do anything and just sticks to texting her every morning and night, she will assume that he’s not the real man she needs him to be (i.e. he doesn’t have the balls to call her, face up to a possible rejection when trying to get her to meet up with him and then re-attract her in person).
As a result, she will then close herself off from him.
Now, that is in a case where she still initially had some feelings for him.
In many ex back cases, a woman is over her ex guy and doesn’t want to be with him at all anymore.
So, when a woman is turned off by ex (e.g. because he was very insecure, needy or desperate during the break up), him hiding behind texts reminds her that he just isn’t man enough for her.
As a result, she stops wanting to text with him and possibly even blocks him.
So, what should you do instead of hiding behind texts?
If your ex is currently responding to your goodnight texts, try to transition to a phone call before she goes to sleep.
You: Goodnight ex girlfriend.
You: Hey, are you still fully awake? I wanted to ask you something before you went to sleep.
Her: What do you want to ask?
You: I have to ask it over the phone, otherwise it will sound weird.
Then, just call her and start with some humor to get her smiling and laughing.
For example you might say, “Hey, why aren’t you asleep yet? Get to sleep otherwise you will have bags under your eyes and look older than you are. You still look young and pretty, so get your beauty sleep girl” and have a laugh with her.
Then, the thing you wanted to ask her is, “So, I was thinking we should catch up to say hello as friends tomorrow or the next day. It’s not about us getting back together of course. We can just catch up to say hi for 10 minutes at 5:30pm. So, which is better for you, tomorrow or the next day?”
Make sure that you say it all in a relaxed, easy-going, confident way.
If you’ve made her feel relaxed and happy beforehand (i.e. by making her smile and laugh), she will most likely agree to catch up.
You can then go ahead and make plans to meet up at a convenient place and time.
Note: If she doesn’t agree to catch up, don’t worry and start thinking things like, “She said no! It must mean we’ll never get back together again! I’ve messed it all up!” because she will pick up on your insecurity and feel turned off by it.
Instead, just maintain your confidence, laugh and say, “Okay, that’s fine. You must be too tired right now to make decisions about coffee. I’ll give you a call tomorrow when you’re feeling rested and we can chat about it then. Remember though – it’s just a coffee as friends. Good night sleepy head.”
Then, give her a call the next night, make her smile and laugh some more and ask her to meet up with you.
By that stage, she will most likely be feeling a lot of renewed respect and attraction for you (i.e. for being confident, emotionally strong, charismatic, funny) and will agree to catch up.
Another mistake to avoid making when texting your ex is…
3. Don’t add in lots of cute emoticons or emojis
It’s okay to add in the occasional smiley face 🙂 wink 😉 or playful ‘tongue out’ 😛 emoticon, but don’t go overboard with them.
If a woman broke up with her guy because he wasn’t being enough of a man for her (e.g. he was too emotionally sensitive, insecure, clingy, didn’t have much purpose in life), she will feel turned off if he then texts her in the style of a woman or girl who is trying to be cute.
Look at it this way…
You would never text a client, your boss or even a male friend and attach a bunch of emojis after every sentence, would you?
Of course not.
So, make sure that don’t text your ex in that way either.
If your goal is to show her that you’re an emotionally masculine, mature man who has learned from his mistakes and become a better man as a result, then make sure that you don’t text her in a feminine way.
Instead be masculine, funny, charismatic and confident when you text her.
Use texts as a way of getting her on a phone call with you where you can properly re-attract her (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine and girly in contrast to your emotional masculinity or masculine tone of voice).
Finally, if you really want to get your ex back, something you need to know is…
Sending Your Ex Good Morning and Good Night Texts isn’t the Main Thing That Will Get Her Back
To get your ex back, you need to show her by your actions and the way you talk, behave and interact with her that you are now a different man now than the one she broke up with.
So many guys try for weeks or months to get an ex woman back via text, while still…
1. Not understanding the real reasons why she broke up with him
A woman won’t always explain her real reasons for breaking up with a guy because she’s expecting him to already know based on all her hints or the things they’ve been fighting over, or because she doesn’t know what to say other than “something doesn’t feel right.”
So, in a lot of cases, because a guy doesn’t know the real reasons why she broke up with him, he will try to get her back by offering her the wrong things.
For example: A guy might think that being more romantic is the way to get her back and therefore send her flowers, gifts and texts every morning and night as a way of changing how she feels.
Yet, what she really broke up with him for was the fact that he was too emotionally sensitive and wasn’t enough of a manly man (in his behavior, thinking, actions, vibe).
Alternatively, a guy may pour his heart out in a long letter or e-mail in the hopes that she will change her mind.
Yet, what she really broke up with him for was his inability to make her feel sexually attracted anymore because he’d become too neutral around her (i.e. more like a friend).
This is why it’s very important that you understand the real, unspoken reasons why your ex broke up with you.
When you understand those reasons (she won’t tell you. You have to learn this stuff), you can then make some quick changes and adjustments to regain her respect and attraction.
When she feels respect and attraction for you again, getting her back becomes so much easier and more natural.
However, if you try to get her back before reawakening her respect and attraction, she will just keep telling you that she isn’t interested.
By the way…
If you have no idea how to figure out her real reasons for breaking up with you, here are some helpful questions to ask yourself now:
- Did she feel loved and appreciated, or did she feel like you were taking her for granted?
- Were you confident and emotionally strong around her, or were you insecure, needy and clingy?
- Did she feel feminine and girly in your presence, or did she feel more like a neutral friend or roommate?
- Were you lovingly dominant in the relationship with her, or did she wear the pants?
- Were you able to make her respect you without having to get angry at her or suck up to her, or did you lose control of your emotions or treat her like a princess when she was treating you badly?
- Were you loving and supportive of her goals and dreams, or did she feel like you were dragging her down or trying to hold her back from being who she really wanted to be in life?
- Could she relax and be herself around you, or did she feel like she had to hide her true self from you because you were too emotionally sensitive or conservative about certain things?
- Was she able to continually look up to you and respect you as her man, or did she lose respect for you over time?
When you fully understand her real reasons for ending the relationship, you can then change the things that she really wants you to change.
Then, when you text her, talk to her on the phone and meet up with her in person, she will be able to see for herself that you truly are a different man now.
She will automatically begin to feel respect and attraction for you again, even if she tries to fight it or hide it from you.
Her defenses naturally come down and getting her back becomes so much easier.
Another mistake that a guy might make is…
2. Not making any improvements to his emotional attractiveness prior to catching up with her in person
Your emotional attractiveness is essentially about how you make her feel when she interacts with you and when she thinks about you when you’re not around.
For example: A guy may have been broken up with because he was too clingy and needy.
Being clingy and needy is emotionally unattractive to a woman because it makes her feel as though she needs to take care of you.
She has to constantly show love, attention and affection or else you become insecure, irritable or even angry.
That’s not attractive to a woman at all.
A woman doesn’t want to feel like she is responsible for how you feel.
She wants you to be confident and have high self esteem, regardless of whether she shows you love, attention or affection.
So, in the case of a guy being dumped for being clingy and needy, he needs to make sure that he makes improvements to become a more emotionally independent guy prior to catching up with her.
For example: He needs to quickly find a balance between being emotionally independent enough (i.e. he wants her, but doesn’t need her to be happy and successful in his life) and giving her the love and support she really needs.
It’s not about cutting off contact for weeks or months (I never, ever recommend that for ex back cases) and is about quickly changing and improving and then getting her back.
In the case of a guy who got dumped for being clingy and needy, he has to quickly become more confident.
Then, when he interacts with her and she picks up on his confidence in the way he talks, thinks, acts and responds to what she says and does, she will automatically feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the man he has become.
On the other hand, if he does what most guys do and just focuses on getting her back without changing first (e.g. he sends her good morning and good night texts, he sends her flowers and gifts), she will lose even more respect for him for not understanding how to be the man she needs and changing.
Another mistake that a guy might make is…
3. Thinking that sending a good morning or night text will keep him on her mind and prevent her from having feelings for any new guys she meets
He might then decide to send her a good morning and good night text as a way of essentially saying to her, “Hey, I’m still here and I still have feelings for you. Don’t forget about me!!!”
He’s hoping that she will think, “Awww, my ex is so sweet. No matter what happened between us, he still thinks about me every day. He must really love me. Maybe I should give him another chance! After all, finding a loving, devoted, loyal guy in this world is not easy!”
It would be nice if women were that dumb, but they aren’t.
Women are just as smart as men and if you think about it, you wouldn’t fall for the old, “Good night” and “Good morning” text trick yourself.
You would see right through it if you dumped a girl and she kept sending you morning and nightly texts.
In fact, you might even get a bit annoyed by it and block her number.
So, here’s what you need to realize…
Even though a woman might continue texting back and forth with her exand even agree to meet up with him for coffee to say hi, if he doesn’t do anything else to re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him, it’s not going to fully prevent her from moving on.
She will still feel as though she has to leave the relationship and find a new guy who makes her feel the kind of respect, attraction and love that makes a woman want to be in a relationship.
If her ex doesn’t do that, he’ll send her a text one day to say “Good morning,” or “Good night,” and she will reply by saying something along the lines of, “Look, thanks for being so sweet and all, but I’ve met someone else now and he doesn’t like it when I get a text from you every morning and night. So, out of respect for him I’m going to have to stop responding. I’d appreciate it if you don’t contact me again. Bye.”
If you don’t want that to happen to you, you need to remember: Only text your ex as a way of breaking the ice and getting her on a phone call with you.
Don’t hide behind texts and hope that you will magically get her back that way.
Do what works: Phone call > Meet up in person > Re-attract her > Hook up > Get the relationship back together.
When she can hear the confidence in your voice over the phone, she will feel respect for you.
When you make her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again on the phone, her feelings of attraction will automatically be reawakened.
Her guard will come down and she will be more willing to meet up with you in person, where you can truly show her that you’re a new man now.
Another mistake that a guy might make is…
4. Thinking that being sweet via text will get her back
Women only see niceness as charming and sexy when it’s coming from a confident guy, who makes her feel respect and sexual attraction in other ways.
If a woman doesn’t feel respect and sexual attraction for her ex and he’s being really sweet (i.e. by sending her a good morning and good night text), she’s going to see right through it.
She will know that he’s just trying to suck up to her because he has no idea how to re-spark her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for him in any other way.
So, rather than make her think, “He’s being so sweet and nice to me. Maybe we should get back together again,” a woman will just enjoy the feeling of power in knowing that he still has feelings for her and desperately wants her back.
At the same time, she will keep herself open to hooking up with another guy who can trigger her feelings of respect and sexual attraction by being the kind of confident, masculine guy that all women want.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to your ex, or even sending her a good morning and good night text from time to time if you want to.
However, just make sure that you’re not using that as your main strategy to get her back because it doesn’t work.
To get her back for real, you need to get her to reconnect with her feelings of respect, attraction and love based on how you now make her feel when she’s interacting with you.
The more she experiences your confidence, emotional strength and emotional masculinity, the more she will naturally want you back.
On the other hand, if your main plan to get her back is to focus on being sweet and nice to her, she simply won’t have sexual desire for you.
She might appreciate your niceness and sweetness, but it won’t be enough to make her want you back sexually and romantically.
Additionally, if she meets another guy who is more confident and emotionally masculine, she will feel raw, sexual desire for him and open herself up to it.
So, make sure that you are the one she craves sexually.
Without sexual attraction, you’re just not going to be appealing to her in a sexual way anymore.
Focus on making her feel sexually attracted to you and guide her through the ex back process.
You will see that focussing on sexual attraction is easy, fast and it works.