Yes, you can get an ex back after a year or more.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Understand that love doesn’t actually die
It’s only natural that if a man has been broken up with his ex woman for a year or more, the idea of getting her back will seem like wishful thinking.
He might say to himself, “She’s not going to be interested in me now. It’s just too late. The love is dead.”
Yet, here’s what you need to understand…
Love doesn’t die.
If your ex loved you before, then it means that the love really is still there in the background and therefore, it can be reactivated.
Love is something that we connect to, but it’s not something that dies.
If you and her connected to love together before and she eventually disconnected with it (e.g. because you turned her off, caused her to lose respect for you), then it means that she can reconnect with that love again if you approach her in there right way.
What is the right way to approach her?
By making her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction based on how to you talk to her and interact with her.
That is what works.
When you interact with her and make her laugh, smile and feel good to be hearing from you again after all this time, she instantly begin to reconnect with some of her her old feelings for you.
She will also experience new and more interesting feelings for you, which are based on the idea of reconnecting with a former flame, being in your arms again, having make up sex and experiencing each other now that both of you have had some time to grow and develop even more.
By the way…
A benefit to getting an ex back after a year or more, is that she will have had a lot of time to forget or stop hating some of the negative things about you that she didn’t like.
For example: A woman might have hated the fact that her and her ex guy always got into arguments over trivial things, but after a while of being apart and missing the good things about him and the relationship, she will be much more willing to hope that, if they tried again, things might be different this time.
So, don’t be afraid to contact her and start the ex back process.
When you interact with your ex (over the phone and in person) and re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she will almost certainly begin to focus on seeing you as the man you have become, rather than the man you used to be.
In other words, she will give you the benefit of the doubt.
Instead of thinking, “No, he’s such a jerk. I don’t want anything to do with him after all he did (goes through a list of things you did to turn her off) to me,” she can now think, “He seems so different now. It’s actually quite nice to talk to him again. He’s like a completely different man. Maybe it would be fun to catch up and talk to him in person. Maybe it would feel good to hug him again and be in his arms.”
Then, when you ask her to meet up with you, she will be more willing to say “Yes,” because she will want to experience the new you in person and she how she feels.
Another important step to getting an ex back after a year of more is to…
2. Understand that the original spark of sexual attraction for each other can be reignited
In the same way that love doesn’t die, the original spark of attraction that is unique to you and your ex still exists as well.
The reason why she isn’t feeling is is that she has disconnected from it and no longer wants to feel it, based on how you behaved leading up to the break up, during the break up and potentially even after the break up.
To get her to go back to feeling attracted again, you just have to relight that spark by giving her an upgraded attraction experience whenever you interact with her from now on.
For example: When you interact with your ex, ask yourself…
- Am I turning her on right now by being confident, emotionally strong, funny or charismatic, or am I turning her off by being insecure, hesitant, wimpy or emotionally weak?
- Am I making her smile, laugh and have fun to be talking to me again, or does she feel tense, stressed out, or turned off by me because I’m being too serious, nice or formal?
- Am I making her feel feminine and girly in my presence (e.g. by being more emotionally masculine than her, flirting with her to create sexual tension), or does she feel more like a neutral friend, or even worse, a complete stranger to me now?
- Does she feel respect and sexual attraction for me based on the man that I’ve become since we broke up, or does she feel like she’s still not getting the attraction experience that she really wants (e.g. she always wanted her ex to be more confident and ballsy, but he’s still being shy, timid, hesitant and neutral)?
You need to give her an upgraded attraction experience, so she can realize that getting back with you would be of benefit to her (i.e. she would feel exciting and interesting new emotions).
If you are doing it right, she won’t be able to stop herself from reconnecting with the original spark that she felt for you because you will now be giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you.
She can then start to think, “I know that my ex and I have been broken up for over a year now, but he’s like a different man. Maybe we can make it work this time. Maybe it would be fun. I should follow my heart and give it a try.”
As a result, the idea of getting back together again with you begins to feel good to her.
By the way…
Her ‘following her heart’ is simply woman’s talk for her following her feelings of attraction and love.
When you make a woman feel attraction and love for you, she will feel like you and her are meant to be together and will open up to it.
This doesn’t mean that she will lead the way and guide you back into a relationship.
Instead, it means that she will open up to it and allow you to guide her back into a relationship.
Of course, some women will take the lead, but almost all women want to be lead.
A woman wants a man to have the balls to make a move, make things happen and let her come along for the ride.
She doesn’t want to have to take on the ‘manly’ role of leading the way, being the more confident and courageous one and helping you get her back.
Of course, some women will do that, but almost all won’t.
So, make sure that you are ready and willing to be the more courageous one and make things happen.
Another important step to getting an ex back after a year of more is to…
3. Reach out to say hello as an old friend or an ex that is now a friend
Naturally if you’ve been out of your ex’s life for a year or more, it might feel a bit awkward to just pick up the phone and call her out of the blue.
That’s understandable and totally normal.
So, if you’re not comfortable calling her, a good way to break the ice is by reaching out to her via social media, e-mail or text to say hi.
In most cases, a woman will usually have one or more social media accounts that she keeps active.
So, you can send her a message to say hi as an old friend.
For example: If your ex has a Facebook page, you can send her a message like, “Hey ex girlfriend. Long time no speak. I just wanted to say hi as a friend and see how you’re doing after all this time. Life is good for me and I’m sure it is for you too. How have you been?”
Since she hasn’t heard from you in a long time, she may think something like, “Well, that was unexpected. I wonder what he wants with me after all this time. Does he want to get back together?”
She will then probably look at your social media profile to see what you’ve been up to since you and her broke up.
Important: Make sure that you have updated your profile first before you contact her and posted lots of photos of yourself having fun with other people and doing interesting things.
You don’t want her seeing an outdated profile of you where you look lonely or sad and have her thinking something like, “So, he hasn’t been doing anything with his life for the past year and now wants to get some action with me. No thanks. Not interested.”
On the other hand, if she sees that you haven’t been lonely without her and have been getting on with your life, she will feel comfortable replying to you.
Just make sure that when she responds to you, you ask her for her phone number (e.g. in case you’ve lost it, or in case she’s changed it since your break up) and tell her that you intend to call and say hello as a friend.
Then, make sure that you get her on a phone call with you as soon as possible.
On the call, make her laugh and smile and re-spark some of her old feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Remember: The most important thing to do when getting an ex back is to meet up with her in person, so you can re-attract her, hook up with her (if possible) and get her back for real.
So, make sure that you don’t waste weeks or months messaging (or e-mailing) back and forth and potentially turning her off and losing your chance.
If you just keep messaging or e-mailing, she may begin to think, “Why is he wasting my time like this? Is he just lonely and in need of a friend? I mean, he contacts me out of the blue, acts like he’s changed and then doesn’t even get me to meet up with him. I guess he hasn’t changed after all. He’s still the same old insecure, self doubting guy I dumped. I have better things to do with my time. I’m not going to reply anymore.”
Alternatively, if you waste weeks or months messaging or e-mailing, you might simply lose your opportunity with her if she meets another guy, hooks up with him and really enjoys it.
So, just get her on a phone call with you as quickly as possible and arrange a time to meet up in person.
However, before you go to the meet up, make sure that you are ready to…
4. Give her an upgraded attraction experience
For example: If you were a little bit confident before, she’s going to feel a lot more attracted to you if you are very confident now.
How can you show her that?
No matter what she says and does to test you, or throw you off (e.g. she is cold or even mean and says something along the lines of, “Why are you calling me after all this time? What do you want? Do you think I haven’t moved on? Do you think I have just been waiting around for you to call me?”), you remain confident and emotionally strong.
Rather than get upset or start feeling nervous and insecure, you just laugh at her attempts to goad you.
You can then say in a joking way, “Relax! You’re getting yourself all worked up over nothing. By the way you’re reacting though, I’d say you really missed me. That’s so sweet,” and laugh (in a loving way) at her attempts to test you.
Another example is if you weren’t very masculine in how you talked, felt, behaved and acted.
In that case, she is going to feel very attracted to you if you are now very masculine (This is not about your physical appearance. It’s about your inner masculinity. In other words, your balls) and are able to take the lead in the ex back process.
So, rather than always being on your best behavior around her and letting her get away with being rude or disrespectful, you now stand up to her in a loving, yet emotionally dominant way.
This allows her to relax into feeling like a real woman around you (i.e. feminine, submissive, girly, emotional).
The more you make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to your masculinity, the more she will think things like, “I thought I was over him, but I’m not. Suddenly I feel so attracted to him again. Why am I feeling this way? Is it possible that I’m still in love with him after all? I want him back…badly.”
Another example is if you weren’t very focused on pursuing your dreams and goals in life and were simply going through life being mediocre, or hiding from becoming more of a man because you feared failing.
In that case, she’s going to feel more attracted to you now if you are passionately pursuing your biggest dreams and goals and making them a reality.
Women are naturally attracted to a man who is emotionally independent, knows what he wants in his life and isn’t afraid to go after it.
Knowing that her man is following through on the things that are important to him in life (i.e. his goals, dreams, a big purpose), with or without her reassurance, support or encouragement allows her to relax and feel safe in the relationship.
She knows that she can depend on him to steer them both in the right direction, rather than having to be the stronger one who is always leading the way and looking out for the both of them.
Whatever the reasons are why you and her broke up, to get her back after a year or more, you need to show her that you are truly a better man now than you were before.
You are still you, only better.
Remember: Giving her a better attraction experience now, gives her a reason to want to get back with you.
However, if you try to get her back while you’re still stuck at pretty much the same level you were at when she broke up with you (e.g. you’re still insecure, still too emotionally sensitive), she may just say, “Sorry, but I’m dating someone else now. It’s too late for us,” even if it isn’t true, just to get rid of you.
So, make sure that you are ready to give her an upgraded attraction experience.
Once you’ve changed and improved on some of the things that really matter to her, you need to then…
5. Meet up with her and reactivate her feelings in person
No matter how much fun it might be to text back and forth, send cute messages to each other on Facebook or other social media, or how wonderful it is to talk over the phone, it will all mean nothing if you don’t meet up with her in person soon.
Face-to-face is where everything really happens.
When she can see you, experience your confidence first hand and interact with the man you have become, her feelings change and she opens back up to you.
She stops thinking of you as the ex who she hasn’t seen for a year or more and she starts looking at you with fresh eyes.
This is why you must get her to meet up with you in person.
Don’t make the classic mistake of feeling unwelcome to contact her and flirt with her.
So many guys sit around thinking what it would be like to get their ex woman back, but never make the call or push for an in person meet up.
As a result, they don’t get their ex back.
It’s the men who have the balls to make it happen who get their ex woman back and enjoy new, fun times with her.
So, don’t be afraid to contact her, meet up with her and trigger her feelings of attraction for you again.
Initially, if she sounds a bit reluctant to meet up, you can say, “Hey, it’s just a quick cup of coffee between ex’s. We can catch up on what’s been happening after all this time and have a good laugh together. It’s no big deal and doesn’t mean that we get back together. It’s just coffee. Come on…it’ll be fun to say hi again in person. Let’s do it.”
In most cases, if you’ve been making her feel attracted over the phone, she will say “Yes” to the meet up.
At the meet up, you’ve got to make sure you continue saying and doing the types of things that will reactivate her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that is by…
- Making her laugh and smile and feel glad that she agreed to see you again.
- Flirting with her to create some sexual tension.
- Showing her your confidence by not feeling nervous or unsure of yourself when she is being closed off towards you or when she tests you.
- Making her feel feminine and girly by being more masculine in how you now talk, feel, behave, move and act.
Remember: The whole point of meeting up with her in person is so that she can experience the new and improved you for herself and have her feelings reactivated.
The more you trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you by being the kind of man she always wanted you to be, the more she will start falling for you again – even if she tries to fight it.
Then, it won’t matter that you and her have been broken up for a year or more.
What matters to her is how she is feeling now and if you’re doing it right, she will be feeling sexually and romantically attracted to you once again.