5 things to consider:
1. Has she cheated on you before?
Naturally, if your wife has cheated on you before, trusting her when she is asking for time apart might be too much to handle.
You may begin to worry and think, “She’s only asking for time apart so she can do it again,” or “What if she meets someone else while we’re separated? I don’t think she’ll be able to resist cheating on me again.”
On the other hand, if your wife has always been a loyal, trustworthy woman, you might think something like, “What if she gets tempted to cheat on me when we’re apart? I know it hasn’t happened before, but if she meets someone while we’re not together, she might not be able to resist. Maybe this is going to be the end of our marriage. Maybe she already has someone else in mind.”
Although in both instances, you will probably feel justified in feeling as though you can’t trust her, the truth is that in a relationship, you have to be able to trust each other fully and completely, or else it simply won’t last because the distrust will cause one or both of you to resent the other and want to be in a relationship where you are trusted, loved and appreciated for who you are.
So, if you do decide to give your wife the time apart she’s asking for, make sure that you do it with the intention of trusting her.
In that way, she can feel respect for you based on you for being an emotionally strong man during such a difficult time.
When she feels more respect for you, it will be easier for her to feel attracted to you and when that happens, she will feel unsure about wanting to have time apart.
If you do end up having time apart, her feelings of respect and attraction for you will help reduce her need or desire to start dating or sleeping with another man.
Another thing to consider is…
2. Has she lost respect and attraction for you and no longer feels like she is in love with you?
For a marriage to last for life and be happy, a woman needs to be able to continue feeling respect, attraction and romantic love for her man over time.
If her man doesn’t know how to maintain those feelings inside of her (e.g. because he assumes that she will always love, respect and feel attracted to him because she felt that way at the start of their relationship), her feelings with naturally start to fade away.
When the love seems to have died and the spark hasn’t been there for quite some time, she might begin to look for ways to get out of the relationship (e.g. spending more and more time away from him and with her friends, family or coworkers, taking up hobbies or sports that allow her to meet new people, asking for time apart to work on herself or find herself).
In most cases, by the time a wife is asking her husband for some time apart, it’s usually not that big of a surprise to him (e.g. because they’ve been arguing and fighting for a while, they’re no longer as close as they were at the beginning of the marriage, the intimacy between them has dried up, she has been distant for quite a while).
So, even though he might not want to admit it to himself, a guy will likely know that his wife’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for him have started to fade, which is why he will then wonder whether or not he can trust her when she asks him for time apart.
He may think something like, “I’m afraid that her asking for time apart is just an excuse to end our marriage in a way that’s easy for her. I just don’t feel like she still feels enough for me to stay faithful if another guy comes along and lays the charm on her. She may just focus on all the bad times we’ve been having together lately and allow herself to get swept away in the heat of the moment. I’m so scared that this might the end for us. I don’t want to lose her. What can I do to stop this from happening?”
To ensure her faithfulness while you and her have time apart, you need to use every interaction that you have with her from now on to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction.
The more honest, sincere respect she feels for you as her man, the more attracted she will become.
With those two feelings building back up inside of her, it becomes easier for her to reconnect with her original feelings of love that made her want to be yours for life in the first place.
She will then be much more likely to be faithful to you while she sorts things out in her mind when having time apart.
Another thing to consider is…
3. Do you think spending time apart will make her miss you?
Sometimes, a week of space is just what a woman needs to make her realize that she’s still in love with her husband and that regardless of how difficult things might have been lately, life with him is still better than the alternative (i.e. separating or going through with a divorce).
So, if you believe that giving your wife a few days of space will make her realize that your marriage is worth saving, then yes, you should trust her.
Just back off for a few days (7 at the most) and give her a chance to begin missing you.
Then, interact with her over the phone or in person and re-spark some of her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you, so she remembers why she married you in the first place (e.g. because you make her feel like a feminine woman, you’re emotionally strong and she can always depend on you to be the man in the relationship, you and her have the same dreams and plans for the future that you’re working towards).
Another thing to consider is…
4. Are there men in her life (e.g. at work) who are interested in her?
Unfortunately, there are some men out there (usually men who struggle to attract women and get a girlfriend) who prey on lonely, unhappy married women.
Guys like that try to grow on her over time and hope that they will eventually be able to get a chance to have sex with her, or even a relationship.
So, if you and your wife at a point where you’re no longer having sex or being intimate with each other in any way, or if she’s been feeling neglected and taken for granted, then having another man available to her who is willing to flirt with her and make her feel desirable can be a threat to your marriage.
Of course, not all women will cheat on their husband during time apart, but it is a risk, especially if her real reasons for wanting time apart are that she no longer loves you in a romantic way and has a crush on a guy at work.
It all depends on how much trouble you feel your marriage is in and on how vulnerable your wife is at the present moment.
Either way, if your wife is currently not getting the attraction experience she wants from you in the marriage, she may be open to getting it from another guy and that can happen whether she’s still in a relationship with you, or taking some time apart.
The main thing to remember is that if you don’t want her to stray, you need to use every chance you get to restore her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Another thing to consider is…
5. Is she going to be going out for girl’s nights with her friends?
Going out with the girls doesn’t guarantee that your wife will be unfaithful to you, but going out with single girlfriends when she’s feeling vulnerable in her marriage can definitely lead to trouble.
The fact is that nightclubs, bars and parties are designed for drinking, partying, dancing and finding someone to hook up with sexually or romantically.
If your wife is going to bars, clubs and partying with her single girlfriends, she is going to be bumping into a lot of guys who will want to hook up with her.
Add few drinks and she may become more open to the idea of having a one night stand than she would be if she was sober (alcohol temporarily raises a woman’s level of testosterone, thereby increasing libido and reducing inhibitions).
So, unless your wife is the type of woman who doesn’t drink alcohol, if she is going partying with her single girlfriends, she will usually be having a drink or two and becoming more open to flirting with other men, especially if she hasn’t been feeling very desirable in her marriage of late.
Where Some Husbands Go Wrong When a Wife Asks For Time Apart
Whether you should trust your wife when she is asking for time apart is entirely up to you.
However, if you want to stay married, there are definitely some things you should avoid doing from this moment onwards:
For example: Here are where other men go wrong when in your situation….
1. Not reactivating her feelings of respect, attraction and love before she has time apart from him
If your wife is determined to take some time apart, trying to stop her can be a mistake.
Unfortunately, she is your wife, but she’s not your property and she can go if she wants to.
Saying things like, “I won’t let you leave,” or “I don’t want time apart and if you love me, you will stay and try to fix things between us,” will only make her more determined to get some space away from you.
So, what can you do instead?
You need to use whatever time you have left with her to restore some of her positive feelings for you (e.g. respect, sexual attraction, love).
You need to make her feel so good again that she starts to wonder, “Why am I even thinking about taking time apart? Why would I want to leave my husband when it feels so wonderful to be around him again?”
Then, not only will she likely change her mind about taking time apart (i.e. because you’re making her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with you), if she does decide to go, she will probably spend most of her time thinking about you and missing you.
Alternatively, if you just let her go without doing anything to restore some of her feelings for you, then she will be much more tempted to stray if another guy is able to attract her and turn her on as he talks to her.
The next mistake that other men make in your situation is…
2. Putting so many restrictions on the time apart that she feels compelled to cheat out of spite
A guy might say to his wife, “Okay, I will agree to time apart, but only if you promise me that you won’t go out partying with your friends, you won’t work late or go out with your colleagues (especially with the men in your office that are probably interested in you) and that you’ll text me and call me every day to tell me what you’re doing and who you’re with.”
As you would understand, acting like your wife’s jailer and treating her like a little girl that needs to be kept under strict supervision, is the quickest way to make her want to do naughty, bold things just to spite you.
3. Trying to make her feel sorry for him because he doesn’t want the time apart
In some cases, a guy might try to put his wife through a guilt trip to hopefully stop her from taking time apart.
For example: He might say things like, “I love you and I took our marriage vows to you seriously. I said that I would commit to you for life and you said the same thing to me. We promised each other that we’d stick by each other through good times and bad. So, why can’t you just put in the effort to work things out? Why do you have to get away from the marriage for that to happen? Can’t you see that I don’t want to be apart from you for even one day? When I said “I do” to you, I meant it. Being married includes putting in the effort to fix things when everything isn’t going well, not running away just because you don’t like something. All I care about is you and what we have together. If you leave me, I will be destroyed. I will lose the will to live. What’s worth living for if I don’t have you? Don’t do this to me, to us. Please.”
Essentially, he’s hoping that if she feels sorry for him, she will change her mind about taking time apart.
Yet, attempting to make a woman feel guilt for how she’s feeling and what she wants (i.e. to take time apart) only turns her off even more.
When a man does that, it comes across as selfish and possibly even a little bit immature and childish.
The man is going on about his feelings, what he wants and is trying to manipulate her into staying with him so he can feel good about himself.
Yet, he’s not considering her feelings and what she wants.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t like to feel like she’s doing a man a favor by being with him.
She wants to be with a man that she is in love with, respects and naturally feels attracted to because he is a good man that she can look up to and rely on.
Even if a woman is really soft-hearted and agrees to stay and try to work on their marriage, if the man is unable to restore and build on her romantic feelings for him, she will want to have time apart so she can start to move on.
So, if you don’t want to drive your wife further away from you and the marriage, make sure not to play the pity card with her.
Instead, focus on restoring her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you.
Make her want to stay with you, rather than making her feel as though she is being made to feel sorry for you and has to give you another chance out of pity.
Another mistake that other men make when in your situation is…
4. Not being able to trust his gut instinct to sense her true intention
Sometimes when a man is asking, “Should I trust my wife when she’s asking for time apart?” it’s usually because deep down, his gut instinct is telling him that the answer is “No.”
He can sense that she’s just asking for time apart as an excuse to start creating a life without him, so she can then divorce him with less hassle.
Here’s the thing…
You probably already know whether or not you can trust your wife.
So, what you might want to ask yourself instead is, “If my wife’s true intention is to get out of our marriage, what am I going to do about it? Am I going to sit back and let her go, or am I going to actively focus on re-sparking her feelings for me so that she wants to stay?”
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