Here are 5 things that her not texting you back could mean and what you should do to get her back:

1. She’s playing hard to get to see how you will react

For a woman to really want to get back with an ex, she usually needs to feel that things will be different this time around.

She doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with the same old dynamic, where she ends up feeling bored, turned off and wanting to break up with him again.

She wants to be able to see that her ex has leveled up as a man, to the point where she can now fully love, respect and feel attracted to him.

So, rather than making it easy for him to get her back, a woman will sometimes test him by playing hard and assessing how he reacts.

For example, if she doesn’t reply to some or all of his texts:

  • Will he just give up and walk away because deep down, he doesn’t really care about getting her back?
  • Will he lose confidence in himself and start coming across an insecure way via text?
  • Will he lose control of his emotions and begin pouring his heart out via texts, emails or online messages?
  • Will he get angry with her for not texting him back and then possibly become aggressive towards her?
  • Will he have the confidence to call her and reactivate her feelings for him on a phone call or video call, or will he be too afraid to do that and instead, just stick to texting even though she’s ignoring him?
  • Will he lose interest and just move on with a new woman?
  • Will he start begging and pleading with her to reply?

Depending on how he reacts, she will either continue ignoring him, or will open herself up to interacting with him on a phone call or in person, to see where things go from there.

She is playing hard to get to see how you react

So, if your ex girlfriend doesn’t text you back, don’t sit around thinking negative thoughts like, “Her not texting me back definitely means she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore,” or “It must be a sign that she’s over me and has probably forgotten all about me,” or “She must hate me if she’s not replying,” or “I have no chance with her now because she’s not replying to my texts.”

You’ve got to be stronger than that.

When it comes to relationships between men and women, the man always has to be the more courageous, emotionally strong one who isn’t afraid of rejection.

So, in your case, you need to find a way to make her open up to you again, so you can start the ex back process with her.


Start by calling her.

She might not answer right away and that’s okay.

You’ve got to be courageous, emotionally strong and not afraid of rejection.

So, if she doesn’t answer, try calling her again in about 5 minutes.

If she doesn’t answer, try calling her again in an hour.

If she still doesn’t answer, text her this:

“Hey. Just want to let you know I accept that we’ve broken up, but I want to ask you something really quick over the phone. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious. I’ll call you in 10 minutes.”

Then, try to call her 10 minutes later.

If she doesn’t answer, don’t keep calling her over and over again because that will just annoy her and make her more determined not to talk to you.

Instead, try calling her again after a day or two.

If she doesn’t answer and possibly texts you something like, “What do you want to ask me?” or, “I don’t want to talk on the phone. Just say what you want to ask me via text and be done with it,” then don’t panic or worry.

Instead, just call her.

If she still won’t answer, text her this:

“It’s not something that can be said via text. I’ll call you in 5 minutes. After that, if you decide that you never want to talk to me again, I promise I will never text you or call you again, ever.”

She will be intrigued by that and will want to answer to find out what it is you want to ask her over the phone.

Then, call her after 5 minutes.

By the way…

What you want to ask her is to meet up with you in person, but don’t ask her that right away.

Instead, start the phone call off by making her feel some attraction for you initially (e.g. using humor to break down her defenses and make her laugh, maintaining your confidence regardless of how cold or unfriendly she seems at first, bringing up a private joke you and her have, talking in a more masculine tone of voice while still being yourself).

When she sees that you have the balls to go after what you want without fear and you have the ability to spark her feelings for you, her defenses will naturally come down and she will begin to open up to you.

She might not make that obvious, but it is what will happen.

When a woman feels a rush of renewed respect and attraction for her ex, she can’t stop herself from feeling good and feeling more open to him.

She might try to hide it, but she will be feeling it.

So, once you’ve done that, you can then go ahead and arrange a time for you and her to catch up and say hi.

If she asks why you couldn’t send that via text, simply laugh and say, “Because there’s no way you would have said yes if I asked you via text” and have a laugh with her.

You can then add in, “Look, I accept that we’ve broken up and are never getting back together. Yet, it will be good to catch up and say hi and end our relationship in a mature way. If you don’t ever want to talk to me again after that, I promise to never text you or call you ever again.”

Since she will be feeling respect and attraction for you in those moments, she won’t like the idea of never hearing from you again.

She will feel as though she is losing you and will realize that she is going to regret it if she doesn’t open up to seeing you again as assessing how she feels at the time.

As a result, she will almost certainly agree to catch up and say hi in person.

Then, when you meet up in person, you can fully reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.

Another thing it could mean if your ex girlfriend doesn’t text you back is…

2. She’s trying to signal to you that she doesn’t just want to be texting with you

She is trying to signal to you that she doesn't just want to be texting with you

These days, texting has become the preferred method of communication for most people.

In fact, according to Portio Research at the time of typing this article, people around the world already send about 16 million text messages per minute, 23 billion per day or 8.3 trillion in one year.

In other words, texting is a big deal and is only getting bigger by the day.

Additionally, people are becoming more and more used to just texting each other, rather than talking on the phone or in person.

For example: Currently, in the USA, one third of the population prefers texting over talking on the phone.

So, it’s possible that you and your ex might have texted each other a lot more than talking on the phone.

Yet, here’s the thing…

Although texting is fine between a couple who are in love, it becomes a lot trickier between ex’s, especially when one of them is no longer in love.

The reality is that texting leaves way too much room for misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

For example: Texting something innocent like, “Did you get my earlier message?” can be taken as a sign of neediness and desperation.

She can read the words in a different tone of voice that you actually meant it to be in.

You might have asked in a casual, easygoing way, but she might read it in a way that suggests you are being demanding, angry, needy or desperate.

As a result, in some cases, a woman can end up thinking, “Why is he pestering me with texts and expecting me to reply right away? Does he think that I just sit around all day waiting to hear from him and then text him back right away? Maybe he’s forgotten that we’re broken up. Maybe he doesn’t realize that I don’t have to text him if I don’t want to because we’re not a couple anymore.”

So, she will begin to ignore more and more of his texts, to hopefully let him know that she isn’t interested in texting back and forth with him anymore.

Yet, it’s not just that.

As I said, texting can be easily misinterpreted and misunderstood.

For example: Sometimes a woman does want to get back with her ex boyfriend, but she wants him to do more than just text her.

If he is just texting her, she can misinterpret that as meaning that he’s only putting in a half-hearted effort to get her back.

In her mind, she feels as though a man needs to call a woman and set up a time to meet up in person if he wants her back.

Yet, her ex is just texting her, so she feels as though he doesn’t really care and doesn’t value her enough to do what it takes to get her back.

She then becomes even more determined to ignore his texts.

Then, when he stops texting her because he assumes she is no longer interested, she feels as though he doesn’t care and she then decides to go out and meet other guys, or go on dates to start moving on without him.

It was all a complete misunderstanding because he was sticking to just texting her, rather than getting her on a phone call or video call and then arranging a time to catch up in person (after he’d make her feel attracted on the call).

Always remember: It is so much easier to spark a woman’s sexual and romantic feelings for you on a phone call/video call where she can hear the tonality of your voice, experience your confidence and sense your intentions, compared to just texting her.

When you talk to her on a phone call or video call and she starts off being cold, but you are able to make her laugh and smile by using humor, then she instantly begins to feel differently about you.

She begins to realize that you’re not so bad after all and in reality, there still is something there between you and her.

As a result, she naturally begins to feel attached to you again and open to something potentially happening between you and her.

Yet, if she’s being cold to you via text and you’re trying to reason with her or explain yourself, then she’s not going to be feeling happy, attracted and drawn to you.

Instead, the texts will start to feel draining, annoying and pointless to her because she doesn’t feel attracted to you and therefore, doesn’t feel motivated to try to work things out.

Then, she will naturally stop replying to your texts.

So, don’t waste time continuing to try to text your ex girlfriend back.

Instead, have the balls to call her, re-attract her, meet up with her and then get her back for real.

Another thing it could mean if your ex girlfriend doesn’t text you back is…

3. She doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore, so she doesn’t feel motivated to reply

When a woman disconnects from her feelings of sexual and romantic feelings for a guy leading up to, during and after a break up, she will usually feel like it would be a waste of her time to remain in contact with him.

In her mind, she knows that she’s not attracted to him anymore (e.g. because he became too insecure in the relationship and has no idea how to fix it and start being the confident, emotionally strong guy she needs), so there’s no point texting back and forth for weeks or months after the break up.

So, she will do her best to ignore her ex’s texts and focus her attention on finding a new man to move on with.

If you want her to care about you and want you back, you must start with re-attraction.

Without attraction, there is no boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

Attraction first and everything else after that.

Another possible reason why she hasn’t been replying to your texts is…

4. She is using the No Contact Rule on you to help herself move on

She is using the No Contact Rule on you to help herself move on

The No Contact Rule (not being in contact with your ex for 30 to 60 days) was originally invented to help couples get over each other and move on.

It’s essentially about getting your ex, “Out of sight, out of mind” and moving on during a set period of time.

So, it’s quite possible that your ex has been actively cutting off contact with you for 30 to 60 days to help herself forget about you, meet new men and move on without you.

This is why, if you want her back, you shouldn’t waste time sending her text messages that she ignores, or rarely replies to.

You have to be more assertive and courageous than that by getting her on a phone call or video call, rather than hiding behind the safety of texts.

If you don’t, then the next time you hear from her, it might be when she texts you something like, “I want you to know that I’ve met someone else. I’m in love and I’m happy with him. What you and I had is over. You need to accept that and move on.”

If you don’t want to find yourself in that position, then get past just texting with her.

Get to a phone call or video call and arrange a time to meet up in person.

When you meet up with her in person, make sure that you are fully prepared and ready to properly re-attract her and make her want you back.

Don’t just go to a meet up and hope that everything works out.

Get yourself ready to re-attract her (i.e. be ready to remain confident if she is initially being cold or closed off. Be ready to flirt with her and create a sexual vibe, rather than just talking to her as a friend, an ex or as a guy who is no longer worthy of her).

Prepare yourself to succeed, so you actually get her back for real.

Another thing it could mean if your ex girlfriend doesn’t text you back is…

5. She has recently met, or hooked up with a new guy and is beginning to lose interest in you

One of the most common ways a woman will try to get over her ex, is by finding herself a new man.

To accomplish that goal, she might:

  • Go to clubs, bars or parties and hook up with a guy for a one night stand.
  • Go on dates with guys that have been interested in her all along (e.g. a guy at work or university, a neighbor, a friend of a friend).
  • Hook up with an ex who is still missing her.
  • Using online dating, or an app like Tinder where she can easily set up a bunch of dates.

For most women, it’s pretty easy to quickly get some sex, or line up a bunch of dates with guys who are interested in her.

So, it’s possible that your ex girlfriend may have already gone on a date, or even kissed or hooked up sexually with a new guy she has met, or a guy who has liked her for a while and has been waiting in the wings for her to break up with you.

If that has happened, it doesn’t mean that you no longer have a chance with her.

You can still get her back if you interact with her on a phone call, video call or in person and begin reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for you.

Then, arrange to catch up in person, attract her further and then get to a hug, kiss and possibly sex to begin getting things back on track for you and her.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t follow through like that and just text their ex girlfriend and as a result, she simply continues to move on without him.

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