Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy, but then regret it so badly and miss him so much, that she’ll need him back to feel better about herself.

Yet, other times, a woman will feel relieved after breaking up with a guy and will then be turned off by how he approaches the process of getting her back (e.g. he pleads with her, tries to work things out via text and ends up causing her to feel exhausted and annoyed by all the texting).

So, if you want to make your ex need you back, here’s what you should be aware of:

1. Attract her to the new version of you, but don’t try to sell yourself to her based on it

When a woman interacts with an ex guy and notices that he’s leveled up in ways that are important to her (e.g. he’s much more confident, he no longer gets upset or seems unsure of himself when she is being difficult, he treats her well, but he doesn’t suck up to her with a nice guy act, he is able to dominate her in a loving way during conversations, rather than her walking all over him with her dominant, independent personality), something amazing happens.

She stops focus on what she didn’t like about him in the past and starts focusing on what she likes about him now.

Her feelings of attraction begin to rise, which then motivates her to interact with him more to get more of those feelings.

At that point, she begins to need him to feel that way and therefore, wants to get back with him, or give hook up with him to see how she feels afterward.

Important: Don’t try to sell yourself to her by explaining what you’ve changed and seem to be hoping for a pat on the back from her.

If you make her feel that way, she will realize that you’re only doing it to impress her, which can then make her see you as desperate.

In other words, you’re the one who needs her.

So, just let her experience the new and improved you for herself.

She will pick up on the changes without you having to sell yourself by explaining what you’ve done, how you’ve changed and hoping to get a “Good on you” or, “I’m proud of you” from her.

Just be proud of yourself for the changes you’ve made and how you’ve leveled up as a man and then get on with being that man, so she wants to be back with you.

2. Make her feel attracted during interactions, so she wants to interact with you more

Make her feel attracted during interactions, so she wants to interact with you more

Some of the ways to make a woman feel attracted during interactions, include:

  • Being a bit of a bad boy who doesn’t let her get away with lousy behavior (e.g. when she’s being disrespectful towards you, talks down to you, treats you with disdain or as though you’re worthless). If she does that, playfully put her back in her place so she realizes that you’re the man and she needs to respect you, or will lose your interest, or lose you completely. For example: If she says, “Hhh…you’re such an idiot. I don’t know why I am talking to you again” you can playfully, but confidently say, “You love it. You can’t get enough of me” rather than getting angry, upset or expecting an apology from her for saying that you’re an idiot, or whatever else she calls you.
  • Keeping things light-hearted between you and her, by using humor to make her laugh, smile and feel happy to be talking to you.
  • Confidently flirting with her to build up sexual tension between you and her, so wants to release it with kissing and sex.

The more attracted she feels during interactions with you, the more the idea of losing you will worry her.

She will worry that if she doesn’t give you another chance, she will end up regretting it and feeling rejected if you move on with another woman instead.

So, to avoid that pain, she needs to get back with you for real, or at least give you another chance for a while to see how she feels.

3. Start being less available after re-attracting her

Don’t completely ignore her, or play way too hard to get to the point where she feels rejected, or loses interest.

Instead, simply don’t be available every time she reaches out to you.

For example: If she sends you a text, answer it right away sometimes, but other times, leave it for 20 minutes, an hour or even until later in the day or night.

Additionally, if you are genuinely busy with something else (e.g. you’re at work, hanging out with friends, watching a movie, playing a video game, working out at the gym), just wait until you’re finished before you reply.

That can be 20 minutes later, a few hours, or even the next day in some cases.

If she calls you, don’t answer every time.

Again, it’s not about ignoring her. Instead, just don’t answer every call immediately.

Call her back a bit later.

Get her to the point where she’s wondering, “What is he doing? Why isn’t he available all the time? Does he have a new woman in his life? Am I losing him? Is it something I said?”

The fear of losing you and feeling like the one who got dumped or rejected, makes her need to get back with you.

As a result, she feels motivated to see you in person and try to work things out, while she still can.

Important: Being less available only works if you’ve re-attracted her first.

If you play hard to get with her before re-attracting her (i.e. before making her have feelings for the new and improved you), a woman usually won’t care and will focus on moving on without you.

4. Let her sense that while her interest in you is rising, you are beginning to move on

It’s not about telling her that you’re moving on.

Instead, it’s about the subtle things about your conversation style and behavior that make her think she is potentially losing you.

For example: You interact with her, flirt and make her feel attracted and then back off and don’t contact her for a few days.

During those few days, she is missing you and wondering what is happening.

She worries that you might have met another girl, or are losing interest and wanting to move on without her.

As a result, she feels motivated to turn on her charms and make you really want her again (e.g. giving you compliments, being more submissive or girly in her behavior to make you feel manly, hinting at wanting to kiss or have sex with you).

5. After re-attracting, let her find out that you have been spending time around new women

Sometimes a guy will be afraid to do that because he’ll worry that if she finds out, she will take it as a sign that he’s completely over her and will then move on.

Alternatively, she’ll quickly go and hook up with a new guy to make him feel hurt in return, or will get angry and say that he’s blown his chances with her now.

Yet, the reality is that women are always more attracted to guys that other women find desirable.

A woman might act angry when she finds out, but she will absolutely feel more attracted to him as a result of other women wanting him.

It’s just how a woman’s attraction works.

So, don’t be to let your ex see you with other women, or find out that you’ve been spending time around new women.

Of course, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.

The wrong way is to brag about it to her, or say it in a way where you’re trying to hurt her with the news.

If you do that, she will close up and want emotional revenge.

The right way to do it is to let her find out via mutual friends, by seeing photos of you with other women on social media, or when she asks you and you briefly answer (e.g. She asks, “Have you been seeing other women?” and you say, “Yeah, why?” or “Yeah, I’ve been hanging out with some girls. You’re still my favorite though”) and then get on with talking about other things.

She then starts to look at you as being of a catch, rather than a reject that she dumped and other women don’t want.

She then feels the need to get back with you asap, because you clearly have other options and aren’t going to remain single for very long.

6. Build up sexual tension with her, so she wants to release it with you

Build up sexual tension with her, so she wants to release it with you

Sexual tension builds up when both you and a woman feel attracted, but don’t immediately kiss or have sex.

So, when you make your ex feel very attracted again, but don’t immediately kiss or have sex with her, she begins to feel the need to be with you physically to then release the built-up sexual tension.

As a result, hooking up with her, or getting back into a relationship becomes so much easier.

7. Hook up with her again, but don’t suggest getting back together

As long as you’ve been building sexual tension, your ex will be looking for a chance to release it.

So, when she seems open and is giving you signs that she’s sexually attracted (e.g. regularly touching you on the hand, arm or leg, licking her lips in a cute, girly or submissive way, playing with her hair, softly stroking her throat or fidgeting with her necklace, hugging into you), just lean in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

If she doesn’t pull away, deepen the kiss.

Then, go to her place or yours and hook up with her sexually.

After the sex, don’t mention getting back together.

Instead, let her be the one who feels an emotional need to get the relationship back together.

You can then grant her that privilege by giving her a chance with you.

8. Use social media to make her feel like she is missing out on being in your life

You can do that by posting photos of yourself having fun and looking confident and happy around other people.

Important: It must be photos with other people and not a photo of you alone, (regardless of how good you think you look in a particular photo).

This means, no photos of the sunset on the beach, what you ate for lunch or dinner, or your pet.

Don’t post anything that suggests you might be alone, bored, confused about something, or depressed.


Women aren’t attracted to loneliness or emotional weakness in men.

Women are attracted to emotional strength, which can be displayed to her through photos of you having fun and looking confident around other people.

Even just seeing a few photos of you looking confident and happy without her, is enough for most women to feel like they’re missing out and want to become a part of your life again.

9. Make her feel the need to impress you to gain more of your love and attention

In other words, be more of a challenge to her from now on (i.e. be good to her, treat her well, but also show her that you’re happy and getting on with your life without her), so she doesn’t take your current interest in her for granted.

Instead, she feels the need to impress you, treat you well and turn on her charms to maintain your interest.

Of course, this approach only works if you’ve re-attracted her first.

A mistake some guys make is to play hard to get before re-attracting an ex.

As a result, she doesn’t care that he’s playing hard to get, because she doesn’t even want him anyway.

She then closes herself off and focuses on moving on, or decides to teach him a lesson by playing mind games of her own (e.g. she pretends she wants him back and when he shows interest, she rejects him again or asks for more space).

So, make sure that you re-attract her and then make her feel the need to impress you to gain more of your love and attention.

10. Vary the way you respond to her when she reaches out to you

Flirt with her sometimes, but not always.

Show interest sometimes, but seem to be potentially losing interest other times.

When you do that, she feels the need to get more of what she wants (i.e. the exciting feelings of sexual and romantic attraction she sometimes feels for you).

As a result, she tries to interact with you more, or shows more interest in hooking up or getting back together.

You then simply give her a chance to be with you again.

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