Your ex putting you in the friend zone can actually be a good thing.
It allows you to interact with her anytime you want.
All you need to do is focus on re-sparking some of her feelings of respect and attraction and then get her back into a relationship with you.
So, how can you do that?
Here are 4 examples of things that you can do when you ex puts you in the friend zone…
1. Don’t See Yourself as Being in the Friend Zone
Just because a woman says something like, “I don’t feel the same way about you anymore, but I don’t want to lose you. I just want to be friends.
Can we do that?” it doesn’t mean you have to become her best friend and stop focusing on getting her back.
Where some guys go wrong is by accepting a friendship with an ex woman and then hoping that just by hanging around her and being a good guy, she will miraculously change her mind about him and want him back.
That’s not how a woman’s attraction works!
You’ve got to actively make her have sexual feelings for you and she will then not want you to remain in the friend zone.
She will want to hug you, kiss you and have sex with you.
Yet, many guys don’t realize how easy it is to change how a woman feels, so they just listen to her and follow her instructions on only being friends.
For example: A guy might say to himself, “A friendship with my ex is better than nothing. I have to make sure that I don’t do anything to push her away and make her change her mind. So, I’m going to just focus on being really nice and polite to her and help her out like a good friend would when she needs me. Hopefully she will see what a good guy I really am for respecting her wishes about just wanting to be friends. Then, she will realize how much she still loves me and we can get back together again.”
Yet, in most ex back cases, it simply doesn’t work like that.
If you put yourself in the friend zone with your ex and only focus on being her nice, sweet, reliable, neutral friend, that’s exactly how she’s going to perceive you.
She’s going to look at you as being a friend and will also be sexually turned off by your lack of confidence in your attractiveness to her.
Always remember: Women cannot stop themselves feeling attracted to a good man who believes in his attractiveness to her.
Women label guys like that as being charming, charismatic and mysterious and they happily and willingly have sex, get into relationships and fall in love with guys like that.
So, if you just act like a friend and doubt your attractiveness to her, it’s highly unlikely that she will start feeling sexually attracted to you again.
She might keep you around as a friend, but chances are high that she’s not going to stop dating other guys just because you and her are friends.
Don’t put yourself in that position where she can destroy you and break your heart some day soon by saying, “Ummm…I have something that I need to tell you. I’ve met someone else and we’re in a relationship now. I really like him and he doesn’t want you and me to continue being friends, so please respect that.”
That’s not the outcome you want with your ex, right?
If not, don’t just be a friend to her.
Make sure that you are actively triggering her feelings of romantic and sexual attraction for you.
The best way to do that is to…
2. Flirt With Her and Don’t Doubt That it is Working On Her
Sometimes a guy will attempt to flirt with his ex, but in the back of his mind he may be thinking, “This isn’t working. I’m trying to flirt with her and she’s just being cold and distant with me. She’s clearly not interested in me anymore. I can’t seem to make her feel the way she used to before. She just doesn’t want me.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
If you doubt that your flirting works on a girl, it won’t, because she will sense your self-doubt, which is unattractive to her.
Women are naturally attracted to confidence in men (especially confidence in your attractiveness to them) and turned off by self doubt (especially doubting your attractiveness to them).
Women don’t go around telling guys that though because guys would begin acting very arrogant and hoping that women like it, but that’s not the approach that women want guys to take.
Women just want a guy to have a relaxed, easy-going confidence in his attractiveness to her.
If you can do that, you will naturally be attractive to your ex and most of the women you meet.
So, what you need to do is flirt with her and believe that it’s working (i.e. it’s making her feel attracted, turned on and sexually interested in you again).
When you believe that your flirting is working, your ex will automatically sense your confidence via your body language, vibe, behavior, attitude and conversation style and it will turn her on because confidence is attractive.
Remember: A woman’s attraction to a guy is based mostly on how he makes her feel when he interacts with her, rather than what he looks like.
If you are being confident, self-assured and are making her laugh and smile, she will automatically feel attracted to you and won’t look at you as someone that she wants to keep locked away in the friend zone.
On the other hand, if you are being nervous, self-doubting and insecure when you interact with her, she will automatically feel turned off by you because she will feel more emotionally dominant than you, which means she can’t fully relax into being a feminine, girly woman around you.
So, don’t doubt yourself at all.
Have a relaxed, easy-going confidence in you attractiveness to her and never doubt it no matter what she says or does to try to make you feel insecure.
Women do that to guys to test their confidence and when you pass the test, you get the attraction and the girl.
Here’s the thing…
The more that you believe that what you’re saying and doing around your ex is turning her on, the more it will come through in your actions and body language.
You will appear confident, charming and charismatic to her and she will automatically feel attracted to you.
When you do that, everything changes.
She stops seeing you as her nice, neutral friend and begins to think, “I’m seeing him very differently all of a sudden. Something has changed. I don’t want to be just friends anymore. I want more than that. What is happening to me? Why do I feel like I want to kiss him all of a sudden? He seems so much more attractive and appealing now. I’d better kiss him before another girl feels attracted and then takes him from me.”
Another way to escape the friend zone with your ex is to…
3. Improve Your Ability to Attract Her in the Ways That She Really Wants
Guys who get friend zoned simply don’t know how to actively attract women during an interaction (i.e. when they are talking to her).
Most guys think that a woman’s attraction for a man is based on her conscious decision that he looks physically attractive, has money or has a big dick.
Yet, her attraction is actually a result of her instinctive reaction to various personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that he is either displaying or not (e.g. confidence, charm, charisma, humor, emotional strength).
That’s what really matters to most women.
Yes, there are some women who are completely shallow and only go for a guy based on looks or money, but those women are the minority.
Most women place way more importance on how a guy makes her feel when he talks to her (e.g. Does he make her feel awkward because he is nervous, or does he make her feel relaxed and attracted because he is confident?)
That’s what really matters.
Yet, when a guy hears that he needs to attract his ex in the ways that she really wants, he sometimes assumes that it means he needs to improve on his physical appearance.
He might also remember back to when his ex said something like, “Why are you always wearing shorts and t-shirts? Why do you never wear something nice like a suit or at least a pair of trousers and a shirt?” or “You really need to get to the gym. You’re putting on weight,” or “I wish you’d do something with your hair. Hanging all over your face is not a style, you know?”
He may then go out and buy new clothes and shoes, get himself a new hairstyle, or go to the gym and workout.
In his mind, a woman’s attraction is mostly about a guy’s physical appearance, so that’s what he focuses on.
He tries to change who he is on the surface, when what really matters to a woman is who a man is on the inside and how that comes through when he interacts with her.
Yet, he doesn’t know that, so he focuses on improving his physical appearance.
He’s secretly hoping that when he interacts with his ex, she will take one look at his new and improved appearance and think, “Wow! He is looking so great. He looks so awesome in a suit/with that great haircut/now that he’s lost some weight. I feel so attracted to him. I simply must have him back!”
However, that’s not how it works.
Although a man’s physical appearance is one of the things that a woman feels attracted to, it’s still not as powerful as the attraction she feels for his personality, behavior and inner qualities.
- Is he so emotionally masculine that he makes her feel feminine and girly in his presence, or is he an emotionally weak or sensitive guy who makes her feel like the more dominant and powerful one in the relationship?
- Does he have drive and determination to succeed in life, or does he sit back and whine about life like a victim?
- Is he the kind of man she can look up to and respect, or does she look down on him a little bit?
- Is he confident, emotionally strong and self-assured, or is he insecure, self-doubting and fearful?
- Is he a go-getter who faces life head on, or does he hide from his true potential as a man?
- Does she feel like she will be winning by hooking up with him again, or does she feel like he’s just not good enough for a woman like her because he doesn’t know how to change and improve in the ways she really wants?
- Is he man enough to take the lead in the relationship, or does he expect a woman to take the lead and make him feel safe?
These are some of things that a woman looks for and finds most attractive in a man.
So, if you want to get out of the friend zone with your ex, you need to be able to improve on your ability to attract her in the ways that really matter to her, not in the ways you think matter to her.
For example: There’s no point in rushing out and spending a lot of money buying new clothes and shoes, if what your ex really wants is for you to be more emotionally masculine rather than being so emotionally sensitive.
Alternatively, if what your ex really wants from you is to have more drive and ambition in life, then if you go out and lose some weight, or get a new hairstyle, she probably won’t say, “He’s still going through his life aimlessly without a plan or clear direction, but hey – he cut his hair, so let’s get back together again!”
Those things are superficial and a woman knows it.
Sure, she might appreciate the effort and she may even comment about it and say something like, “You’re looking nice. Good for you for cleaning up/losing weight,” but that doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you in the ways that really matter to a woman.
If you’re serious about getting out of the friend zone with your ex and getting her back, you must improve your ability to attract her based on who you are when you interact with her.
Remember: A woman is way more interested in who you are as a person and how that makes her feel when she talks to you, than how you look or what you’re wearing.
Finally, to get out of the friend zone with your ex make sure that you continue on with the ex back process until you get her back.
4. When Her Feelings Are Properly Reactivated, Hook Up With Her Sexually and Start the New Relationship From There
The main thing you need to focus on from now on, is to use every interaction you have with your ex (whether it’s via text, on social media, on a phone call or in person), to re-spark her feelings of sexual attraction and respect for you.
One of the most effective ways to do that is by making her smile and laugh when you interact with her.
The more laughter she experiences when she interacts with you, the more she will associate feeling good with you.
You will be an attractive man in her life again, rather than a lost guy who is hanging around in the friend zone hoping that she changes her mind on her own.
She will enjoy talking to you because it will make her feel sexually and romantically attracted.
When that happens, she will begin to think, “Every time I hear from my ex, he makes me smile and feel good. I can’t believe how excited I feel just talking to him again. What does that mean? Does it mean that we should get back together? I actually miss him when he’s not around. Does this mean I’m not really over him like I thought I was? Maybe being just friends isn’t what I want after all,” and she becomes open to meeting up with you in person and having sex again.
She might not telling you that directly and will instead hint at it and hope that you pick up her signs and then lead the way to kissing and sex.
For example: She might…
- Constantly play with her hair or a necklace when talking to you in person. This is to show you that she’s feeling girly, turned on and is looking at you as being the more dominant, masculine one.
- Touch you playfully on the arm or leg in conversation.
- Hug you a lot more often, or for a longer period of time when you are saying hello or goodbye.
- Find excuses to get you to come over to her house, or she will just show up at your place.
- Bring up past, happy experiences you and her shared together (especially moments in bed).
By the way…
Not all women are confident enough to give clear signs and some women don’t want to give signs as a way of testing your confidence.
This is why it’s always better to not pay much attention to her potentially confusing signs and just guide the interaction to a hug, then kiss and sex.
Remember: You must be confident when getting a woman back into your bed and into your life, because women are not attracted to the emotional weakness in men.
If you hesitate and second-guess yourself when going in for a hug or kiss, she will pick up on it and might then say, “No. We’re just friends. It’s not like that between us anymore” because she will feel turned off by your self doubt in that moment.
On the other hand, if you confidently make a move when the time is right, she will be happy to hug you, kiss you, have sex and get back into a relationship with you because she will be feeling attracted to your confidence.
So, don’t wait around letting her call the shots.
What you need to do when your ex puts you in the friend zone is take the lead and make her yours once again.
Even though she might not act like that’s what she wants, it’s what she is really waiting for.
She wants you to be confident, believe in your attractiveness to her and get out of the friend zone with her.