5 possible reasons why:

1. She doesn’t want to admit that she wants you back, so she pretends to just want to be friends

Sometimes, a woman might break up with a guy, only to realize that she really misses him.

She may then begin to think things like, “I really thought that this was the right decision for me, but now I’m not so sure anymore. In fact, I’m almost certain I made a mistake. Not only do I miss him, I can see now that other guys out there don’t compare to him at all. I really stuffed up and now I don’t know what to do. I want him back, but I’m afraid that if I say that to him, he will reject me to get back at me for breaking up with him. What should I do?”

This kind of thinking can lead to her deciding to be friends with her ex as a way of keeping him in her life.

It also gives her a good excuse to be able to text, call or see him in person as often as she wants to.

She then hopes he will be bold enough to make a move, so that they can get back into a relationship together.

Unfortunately though, it doesn’t always work out that way.


Firstly, some guys make the mistake of rejecting a friendship with their ex.

A guy like that might say something along the lines of, “Sorry, but I can’t just be friends with you. It’s all or nothing.”

Essentially, he may be hoping that his ex will say something like, “Okay, then. Well, if we can’t be friends, let’s be together then” and make it easy for him to get her back.

Unfortunately, the woman usually says something like, “Fine. If that’s how you feel, then I guess it’s over” and walks away, even though she might still be secretly open to being with him.

He has put her on the spot and forced her to either agree to get back with him or nothing, so she rejects him and walks away.

By saying something like that, he’s also ruining his ability to stay in touch with her so he can then reactivate her feelings nd get her back.

So, don’t make that mistake with your ex girlfriend.

If she want to be friends, be happy about it, because it means you can easily get her back.

Note: Just make sure you don’t agree to be friends with your ex and then act like a nice, neutral friend who isn’t attracted to her anymore.

That would be a mistake.

Yes, be her friend, but also use interactions to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you.

Before you know it, you and her will be hugging, kissing, having sex and be in a relationship again, because it’s something you both want.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend wants to be friends is…

2. She wants to keep things amicable between you and her to avoid anything nasty happening

She wants to keep things amicable between you and her to avoid anything nasty happening

Most men are good guys who would never do anything to hurt a woman, even one who is breaking up with them.

However, a woman’s natural instincts to protect herself, won’t want to take that chance and risk getting hurt physically, or having to deal with a boyfriend who threatens her and wants to get revenge.

So, rather than just breaking up with him by saying, “Hey, it’s over between us and I think we should move on and not see each other anymore,” and then end up having to deal with him reacting in a way that makes her feel stressed, threatened or uncomfortable (e.g. he gets angry, becomes verbally or physically abusive, loses control of his emotions and breaks down crying, begs and pleads with her to change her mind, refuses to leave/let her go until she agrees to give him one more chance), she instead says something along the lines of, “I know this isn’t ideal right now, but let’s be friends.”

She’s hoping by saying that to him, it will lessen the chance of him taking the break too badly (e.g. because he will still have contact with her and be able to see her or talk to her over the phone) and she will be safe.

Then, while he’s hanging around being her nice, sweet friend that she can always rely on to be there for her when she needs him, she can focus on finding herself a replacement man to move on with.

If her ex then decides to try and get her back after being friends with her for a while, she will be able to tell him that she’s in a new relationship.

She can then cut him out of her life if she wants to, without worrying about the consequences, because she will have a new man to protect her.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend wants to be friends is…

3. She likes to do that with ex boyfriends, so she can spy on their life via social media now and in the future

Some women are naturally curious and want to keep tabs on a guy even if he’s an ex and a good way to do that is by remaining friends with him.

She can then satisfy her curiosity by checking up on him from time to time via social media, or even on a phone call or at a meet up.

Alternatively, a woman might be in the habit of staying “friends” with an ex, as a way of keeping an eye on him, to make sure that she moves on first before he’s had a chance to find a replacement to her.

She can then feel better about herself knowing that she’s desirable and attractive to other men, while he’s struggling to move on without her.

In some cases, a woman might even use a so-called friendship with her ex as a way of keeping him hanging on and thinking that maybe he still has a chance of getting her back.

It’s her way of getting revenge on him for how he treated her in the relationship, or for the break up.

She then moves on feeling good about herself, knowing that he’s suffering.

However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

So, if your ex is in the habit of staying friends with her ex’s as a way of giving them false hope about their chances of getting her back, it’s very important that you don’t allow her to do that to you.

In fact, you can turn things around and not only not give her the satisfaction of seeing you hurting and staying stuck in your life without her, you can even reactivate her feelings for you and get her back, if you want to.

How can you do that?

By showing her that even though you still care about her and want her back, you don’t actually need her back.

Of course, you don’t tell her that.

Instead, you show it to her by living your life to the fullest, having fun without her and beginning to pursue your big goals and dreams in life with a more focused passion and determination.

Let her see during interactions with you that you are happy, confident and moving forward in life now and you don’t need her to feel happy and emotionally fulfilled.

When she sees for herself that her plan is backfiring and that instead of feeling good about herself for stringing you along, she’s actually feeling as though she’s missing out and like she made a mistake by breaking up with you, she won’t be able stop thinking about you in a more positive light.

All of a sudden, she feels drawn to you in a way that feels good to her and she then wants to be your girl again.

It’s then up to you to take her back if you want to and enjoy a relationship with her that’s so much better than before.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend wants to be friends is…

4. It’s her way of saying that she doesn’t want a relationship, but is okay about being friends

In some cases, a woman might get to a point in a relationship where she really does care for her guy, but she no longer feels sexually and romantically attracted to him.

She may then decide to break up with him, but she doesn’t want to lose him completely by cutting him out of her life.

As a result, she may say something along the lines of, “Even though we’re not a couple anymore, I really want us to be friends.”

The good news is that staying friends with an ex is one of the best ways to get her back quickly.

So, if your ex girlfriend said that she wants to be friends with you, say “Yes” right away.

Then, you need to actively make her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again by using every interaction you have with her, especially on the phone and in person, to make her smile, laugh and feel good about keeping you in her life.

Don’t pretend that you’re not interested in getting her back, or that you don’t find her sexually attractive anymore.

If you only focus on making her feel neutral, friendly feelings for you, she will almost certainly put you in the Friend Zone and then nothing will stop her from moving on with another man.

So, make sure that you flirt with her and make her feel sexually attracted to you again.

Then, getting back with you will happen naturally, because she will realize that being in a relationship with you is actually the one thing that makes her feel the happiest and the most content.

Another possible reason why your ex girlfriend wants to be friends is…

5. To string you along, so you can feel emotional pain as you see her move on and be happy with a new man

There are times when a woman resents her ex for what happened in the relationship (i.e. he didn’t live up to her expectations and give her the attraction experience she wanted from him).

So naturally, she might feel betrayed by him and like she wants to get revenge on him for causing her so much pain.

As a result, she may suggest that they stay friends.

Secretly, she could even be hoping that he will take her suggestion as a sign that she’s still open to the idea of them getting back together again some day.

He might then wait around for her.

In the meantime, she will focus on quickly finding herself a new man to move on with.

Then, when she’s safely involved with another guy, she can say to her ex, “Hey, I have something I want to tell you. I’m in love with someone else. I’m so happy again! Don’t you think that’s great?” and get her revenge by seeing the pain her news is causing him.

So, don’t let that happen to you.

If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, make sure that when you agree to be friends with her, you also actively take steps to re-attract her and get her back.

You can’t just sit around and hope that being a nice, sweet, reliable friend to her is going to cut it.

If you don’t level up as a man and then let her experience the new you during interactions, you won’t be able to regain her respect and attraction for you.

On the other hand, when your ex girlfriend can see for herself that you are a new and improved man already and that if she gets back with you, you’re not going to go back to making the same attraction mistakes as before, she will naturally start to feel drawn to you again.

When that happens, her defenses will come down and she will open back up to talking to you and hanging out with you again to see where things go from there.

4 Pitfalls to Avoid When Being Friends With an Ex if You Want Her Back

Generally speaking, staying friends with an ex is a good thing, because it gives you the opportunity to stay in her life and as a result, be able to re-attract her and get her back.

However, there are also pitfalls that you need to be aware of, so you don’t make the kinds of mistakes that will ruin, or at least diminish, your chances of getting her back.

For example: 4 of these pitfalls are…

1. Saying that you can’t just be friends with her because you wouldn’t be able to deal with that

Some guys make the very big mistake of rejecting an ex woman’s offer to stay friends after their break up.

A guy like that might say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I still have so many feelings for you, that the idea of talking to you or seeing you and not being able to hold you and love you would destroy me. I just can’t deal with that pain. As far as I’m concerned it’s all or nothing. Either you’re my girl, or we just go our separate ways.”

Unfortunately though, in most cases, the woman will usually reply with something like, “Well, then it’s going to have to be nothing. The only thing I can offer you is a friendship, so if you don’t want to accept that, then I’m going to have to say goodbye to you forever.”

He then loses out on getting her back because he’s cut off all his lines of communication with her (e.g. if he tries to text her or call her she will likely respond by saying something like, “Look, you said that you don’t want to be friends so it’s better if you don’t contact me at all.”)

So, don’t make that mistake with your ex girlfriend.

If she’s offering to stay friends, be grateful for the opportunity to stay in touch with her.

You can then use the friendship to reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you and get her back.

Another pitfall to avoid is…

2. Accepting her friendship and then acting like a friend

Another common mistake that guys make is agreeing to be friends with an ex woman and then acting like a nice friend every time they interact with her.

Yet, here’s the thing…

If you act friendly or neutral around your ex, she will probably only ever have friendly, neutral, non-sexual feelings for you.

Even worse, she might even start turning to you (i.e. her nice, neutral friend) for advice about her relationships with other guys, or ask for your ‘man’s opinion’ on how to make herself more attractive for a new guy that she’s interested in.

That’s definitely not a position you want to find yourself in.

So, if you agree to stay friends with your ex girlfriend, make sure that you don’t pretend that you just want to be her innocent, neutral friend and that you’re not interested in getting her back.

Of course, it’s totally fine to be friendly with her, as long as you’re also sparking her feelings for you during interactions.

Make her want you again sexually and romantically and when you do, the relationship will naturally get back together right away, or very quickly.

On the other hand, pretend to only be her friend and watch her move on with a new guy.

The choice is yours.

Another pitfall to avoid is…

3. Hoping that if you’re a good enough friend to her, she will eventually realize that you’re the most loyal, honest, kindhearted man she’s ever met and she will then want you back

Under the guise of being a good friend, a guy might sometimes lavish his ex girlfriend with gifts and tokens of his affection, help her out financially by paying her rent or taking care of some of her bills and generally making himself available to her 24/7.

At the back of his mind he might be thinking things like, “If I’m really nice to her, spoil her and make myself an essential part of her life, she will realize that even though we’re broken up, I’m still the one person who really cares for her and is always there when she needs me. She will see that no other guy can take care of her the way I do and she will then naturally change her mind and want to get back into a relationship with me.”

Unfortunately though, it doesn’t really work that way.

So, even if a woman really appreciates the attention, loyalty and kindness given to her by her ex, it’s not what makes her want to be in a sexual and romantic relationship with him.


Mainly because all he’s doing is being nice to her.

Yet, what he should be doing is actively reawakening her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him.

So, don’t waste your time being kind, loyal and sweet to your ex girlfriend and then feeling hurt and rejected when she moves on with some other guy (usually someone you will perceive as being not as nice as you are).

If you want her back, you need to get her interested by making her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.

When you re-spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. via the way you think, talk, behave and interact with her), she will naturally start to feel drawn to you again.

Then, she will also appreciate the fact that you care about her and are a good guy to her.

As a result, giving you another chance will actually feel right to her.

The next pitfall to avoid is…

4. Only being her friend via text

Being friends with your ex girlfriend has to be more than just texting back and forth with her from time to time.

If you don’t also talk to her over the phone and meet up with her in person, eventually, the texts will stop coming and she will move on.


If you don’t actively spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you, she’s usually going to find someone else who will.

So, while you’re out of sight (i.e. all she gets from you is a few words on a screen), she could be meeting new guys who are making her feel sexually attracted.

This is why, if your goal is to get back into a sexual and romantic relationship with your ex girlfriend, then don’t make the mistake of texting her as a friend and assume that it will happen from there.

It won’t.

You have to spark some of her feelings of attraction for you first (e.g. by flirting with her to create some sexual tension between you, making her laugh and smile and feel good to be around you, showing her during interactions that you’ve leveled up as a man, making her feel girly and feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe).

However, you can’t do all that via text.

You have to get her on a phone call with you and then meet up with her in person so she can experience it via the tonality of your voice, your body language and the way you respond to what she says and does.

She then naturally begins to feel surges of respect and attraction for you again.

When that happens, her defenses come crashing down and then being ‘just friends’ doesn’t feel right to her any longer.

She wants more.

She wants to be your girl.

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