Some good looking men have absolutely no problem getting themselves a beautiful girlfriend or a wife.
Yet, the reality is that a very high percentage of men who are labeled as being good looking, or who have been told that they’re handsome their entire life, have a secret that most people aren’t aware of.
That is, he rarely gets the girl that he really wants.
Additionally, when he sees his ideal type of girl and she has a boyfriend or a husband, he will sometimes find that the guy isn’t as good looking as he is.
He will wonder, why can’t I get a girl like that?
That’s the type of girl that I want and she’s with a guy who looks like that.
Why haven’t I been able to get a girl like that?
Additionally, his friends who may also be good looking, have been able to attract their ideal type of woman and they’re enjoying a relationship with her.
Yet, he can’t seem to attract his ideal type of girl and doesn’t know why it’s happening to him.
After all, throughout his entire life, people have been saying to him that he’s handsome and he’s good looking, but that hasn’t resulted in him being able to attract the kinds of girls that he really wants.
So, why does that happen and more importantly, what does it mean for you and your success with women if you rate yourself as being an average looking guy, a below-average looking guy, a good looking guy and so on?
How does it affect you and your success with women?
Let’s begin with number 1.
The first reason why a good looking guy won’t get the type of girl he really wants is that…
1. He gets a lot of attention from women, but is usually only pursued by women who aren’t as attractive as the ones he really wants
So what happens for a lot of good looking men, is that they get a lot of interest and attention and are often even get pursued by women that they may rate as being 6 or 7 out of 10.
At times, the good looking guy will accept some of those women who pursue him and in the process of dating her, having sex with her, hanging out with her, he will sometimes end up falling for that girl.
Yet, in relationships like that, what often happens is that the guy knows that he is more attractive than the girl and in some cases, he ends up taking her for granted as a result.
For example: If he was with a woman that he found very attractive and he really appreciated her, valued her and wanted her in his life, then he would try not to take her for granted.
He would try to make sure that she feels appreciated and that the relationship works.
Yet, if he is with a woman that he doesn’t find very attractive and he only got with her because she pursued him and she kind of grew on him, then he may find it difficult to genuinely make her feel like she is appreciated and wanted in his life and instead he may begin to take her presence in his life for granted.
Then, as a way to try to secure the good looking guy further into a relationship with her, the less attractive woman will often begin to threaten him with a breakup.
She’ll start to say that he isn’t treating her well and that she’s sick of it and in some cases, the guy will end up going from one extreme to the other and it will get him dumped by the less attractive woman.
One extreme was where he was taking her for granted and wasn’t treating her well.
Then, she complained and threatened to break up with him and he felt like he needed her in his life and didn’t want to lose that, so he went to the other extreme and started being really nice and putting in loads of effort.
Yet, that caused her to lose respect and attraction for him because he became desperate in her eyes and wasn’t the cool, confident guy that she fell in love with.
Then, when he’s at his weakest point emotionally, she dumps him and he is devastated emotionally.
He is miserable, unhappy and he feels like he needs her back, but she wasn’t even the type of girl that he really wanted in the first place.
She grew on him.
She wasn’t the type of girl that he’s really attracted to.
Yet, he got caught up in all of that and ended up falling for a woman that he didn’t even really want to be with in the beginning.
Meanwhile, he may notice that his friends have been able to attract and settle down with beautiful women that they love and really want to be with, whereas the women that he really wants always seem out of reach for him.
He has the good looks, so it makes sense to him that he should be able to get women like that, but they always seem out of reach for him.
So he wonders, why is it happening to me?
Why can other guys who aren’t even successful in life get themselves a pretty girl?
What do I need to adjust about my approach to pretty girls?
What am I doing wrong?
Why can’t I get the girls that I really want?
In some cases, it’s because of this second reason…
2. He is confused about why beautiful women look at him and seem to find him attractive, but don’t seem interested when he starts talking to them
If a good looking guy meets a woman who isn’t as attractive as him physically, she will often make it easy for him.
Not in all cases, but in many cases, the less attractive woman will make it easy for him to talk to her.
She will try to keep the conversation going and she’ll try to make it easy for him to get something going between him and her.
A good looking guy likes that.
It’s nice and easy.
He just has to talk about anything and the girl is interested. She laughs at his jokes. She’s interested no matter what. Easy.
Yet, when he meets a woman who is his ideal type physically, she will rarely behave in that way.
Instead, she will usually test his confidence and test his interest in her by being difficult during the first 1-5 minutes.
In almost all cases, it’s not because she is a bitch and doesn’t have a friendly, easy-going side to her.
Instead, it’s because pretty much every guy who sees her or meets her would love to be her boyfriend or at least have sex with her once.
So she has to initially be a bit difficult by not contributing much to a conversation, to screen out the guys who lack confidence and don’t truly believe that they deserve to be with a girl of her quality.
She doesn’t want to give a chance to a nervous guy who is hoping to get lucky.
Instead, she wants to find herself a truly confident boyfriend who knows that he is good enough for a woman like her and wants to have a relationship based on real love that will last for life.
This is why a beautiful woman may look at a good looking guy (and seem interested), but then seem as though she is uninterested when he starts talking to her.
Most good looking guys who experience that type of reaction from women that they’re attracted to assume that it means the woman isn’t attracted to them.
In some cases, that is true.
Yet, in almost all cases the woman is just trying to find out how confident the guy really is.
Can he remain confident during the first 1-5 minutes where she is testing his confidence, or is he the sort of guy who can only feel confident if a woman is making things easier for him?
How strong is his confidence?
Is it a superficial type of confidence that he feels because people give him compliments all the time and make things easy for him, or does he have that deep belief and knowing that he is good enough to the point where he doesn’t flinch and become nervous if people aren’t behaving in a really nice way around him, or if people aren’t being supportive and making things easy for him?
Additionally, how interested in her is he?
Does he have a real interest in her or is he just interested in making her feel attracted and proving to himself that another girl likes him?
Is he just interested in maybe having sex and that’s it? Maybe having a fling for a while?
Maybe having a 2-3 year relationship and then breaking up with her?
Or, is he looking at her and finding her incredibly attractive and thinking, “I want that woman,” then making her his woman, getting into a committed relationship and building a future together?
The thing is, the majority of beautiful women out there are looking to find themselves a boyfriend.
You will sometimes meet beautiful women who just want to have sex and don’t want any strings attached; it’s just sex, don’t fall in love with her, bang her and leave. That’s what she wants.
Yet, the majority of women out there, whether they are beautiful, average looking, below-average looking and so on, want to find themselves a boyfriend, want to find themselves a man that they can get into a real relationship with, that they can build a future with, a relationship based on real love that is going to last and is going to feel amazing for the both of them.
So, whether you are a very good looking guy, a good looking guy, an average looking guy or a below-average looking guy, you’ve got to understand that when you start talking to a woman, she isn’t always going to make it really easy for you initially.
In many cases, it’s not because she isn’t interested, instead she’s just testing to see what type of guy you really are.
Can you handle that initial bit of pressure to let her see that you are a man that she can look up to and respect?
You are a man that can make her feel protected and safe.
You’re not an emotionally weak man who needs people to be patting him on the back all the time, giving him compliments all the time, making everything easy for him in order to feel confident.
You have independent confidence; you are confident no matter what people say or do around you.
That makes women feel more attracted to a guy than his looks and it’s often the reason why a good looking guy ends up getting to the point where he accepts women that he’s not very attracted to.
He can’t handle the heat, he can’t handle the pressure.
He can’t handle those initial 1-5 minutes and in some cases, 1-10 minutes where a woman is testing his confidence by being a bit short during the conversation, not giving him too much to work with and seeing how he handles it.
The thing is, once you are aware that women do that, you can then stop taking it personally.
You can stop thinking that you’re getting rejected because a woman isn’t jumping all over you during the first 1-5 minutes and instead, you can see it as an opportunity to make her feel deeply attracted to you by being one of the rare guys who can actually handle the pressure.
When you’re able to remain confident and continue talking to the woman without thinking that you’re being rejected, what you’ll see is that beautiful women then show you their friendly, easy-going, down to earth side that they don’t show to other guys.
In most cases, they then open up and make it easy for you to hook up with them because you are one of the rare guys who can handle the initial pressure.
You are able to remain confident around her no matter what because you believe that you are more than good enough for a girl like her.
The third reason why a good looking guy won’t get the type of girl that he really wants is that…
3. He doesn’t want to ruin the illusion that his friends have of him
A good looking guy’s friends will pretty much always notice that he gets more attention from women than they do.
In some cases, he will get average looking women approaching him and in other cases, he’ll even get hot girls approaching him.
To his friends, he is a stud, he’s the man.
Girls want to be with him and his friends think, “If only I could look like him, then I would get all the girls.”
Yet, the good looking guy has a secret.
That is, he’s not getting the type of girls that he really wants and in many cases it’s because he doesn’t want to approach women that he finds attractive, get rejected and then ruin the illusion that his friends have of him (i.e. that he is the ultimate ladies man and can get any woman he wants).
In other cases though, a good looking guy isn’t really worried about what his friends may think, but is instead worried about how it may affect him.
If he walks over and approaches a woman that he finds attractive and she rejects him, then it may ruin the illusion for him.
In his mind, he is a cool, handsome man that should be able to get any woman he wants and the girls that he really wants often look at him.
They look at him and they seem to be attracted to him, but they don’t run over and approach him like the other girls do, or they don’t make it easy for him when he starts talking to them.
In his mind, he should be able to get those ideal type of women that he wants, but it’s not happening.
So, when he goes out with his friends, he will rarely, if ever, be the one who approaches a group of girls first.
He will usually be the one who comes over afterwards or gets introduced.
That’s safety for him.
He doesn’t have to get rejected.
He can just come in as the handsome guy and get attention from some women in the group and his friends will look at him and think that he’s the stud, he’s the man and so on.
Yet, although that can be fun for a good looking guy, as the years go on, it can start to be a bit of a drain where he ends up sleeping with women that he’s not sincerely attracted to.
They’re not the ideal type of women that he really wants.
Additionally, as time goes on, he may notice that some of his friends who aren’t as good looking as him end up settling down with a pretty girl and he is then left thinking, “What’s going on here? Why aren’t I getting that? Why can’t I get the type of girl that I really want?”
Finally, another reason why a good looking guy won’t get the girl that he really wants is that…
3. He uses Tinder or online dating rather than approaching women that he finds attractive in real life
Due to the fact that an attractive woman will get contacted by hundreds of guys, she rarely answers messages.
Most attractive women just use Tinder or online dating to look at messages and use it as a self-esteem boost.
If an attractive woman does start replying to messages just to see what happens, she can have 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 guys messaging her at the same time.
As a result, a good looking guy can become 1 of 10, 20, 30 good looking guys trying to get her attention and hopefully keep a conversation going.
In some cases, a good looking guy will then begin to accept the women who are actually replying to him and seem interested.
Yet, she’s usually not going to be the type of girl he really wants.
In most cases, a guy won’t stick with that type of woman.
He might have sex with her a few times or even for a few months, but he will also keep other women on the side, or he will dump her as soon as he finds something better.
Yet, in some cases, he will actually settle for that type of woman.
He’ll get to the point where he thinks, “Well, she’s good enough. She isn’t my ideal type of woman, but who cares? We get along, we have a good relationship, let’s just settle down.”
That’s all very well and good initially, but what usually happens around the 2-3 year point of the relationship (and in some cases even earlier), is that the guy’s eyes start to wander.
He starts looking at other women, finding them more attractive and thinking, “Why don’t I have a girl like that? I want to be with that type of woman, but I’ve ended up with this type of woman, what am I doing?”
Regardless of that realization, he may end up staying with the woman he doesn’t mind for many years, before the relationship eventually ends in a breakup or divorce.
Meanwhile, he will have spent many years of his life feeling disappointed with himself that he never did get the kind of girls that he really wanted, even though he had the looks.
In some cases, that can cause a man to fall into depression as he looks back on his life with regret.
In other cases, it can cause a man to become angry and bitter towards women and society.
Yet, in other cases, a man realizes that if other guys who aren’t as good looking as him can get themselves a beautiful girlfriend or wife, then he can too.
For example: No doubt you’ve seen guys with pretty women and thought,“What is she doing with him? I’m better looking than him, why don’t I have a girl like that?”
The thing is, it’s very easy to make women feel attracted to you and guys like that are clear evidence of it.
It’s not a difficult thing to do.
When you know how to make women feel attracted to you (as you talk to her in person) and you’re willing to do that, then you can have access to all sorts of beautiful women.
The reality is that some pretty women don’t contribute much to a conversation for the first 5-10 minutes and are a little bit more challenging to talk to.
However, the vast majority of beautiful women out there drop their guard and open up to you after only 1-2 minutes of conversation.
If you’re able to remain confident and spark her attraction by displaying personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women, traits and behaviors such as charm, confidence, emotional masculinity and the ability to make her laugh as you talk to her, you will see that pretty woman open up to you and you can then connect with them and take things to the next level (e.g. phone number, kiss, date, sex, relationship).
Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you are one of the guys who find it difficult to attract women as you talk to them, or if you don’t have the confidence to walk up and talk to a woman that you find attractive, then I recommend that you read my eBook The Flow or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.
The Flow is everything that you need to know to go from hello to sex with a woman that you find attractive.
It includes my best techniques for starting conversations, keeping conversations going and keeping them interesting, making women feel instantly attracted to you and increasingly attracted to you the more they talk to you, creating an unforgettable connection between you and a woman, getting a phone number, getting a kiss, having sex on the first night or getting a phone number, setting up a date and then having sex on the first, second or third date, whatever works for you.
The Flow is the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend.
It gives you your choice of women.
By the way…
If you don’t know my story, I used to struggle to try to get myself a girlfriend or even get laid.
I went through many years of my life wondering why women weren’t finding me attractive, even though I was working in a good office job, I wore nice clothes and I was a good person.
It just didn’t make any sense to me, so I eventually got to the point where I decided that I was going to go out every weekend and approach women until I worked out how I could actually attract women.
Initially, I got rejected as per normal because I didn’t know how to make women feel attracted to me as I talked to them.
Yet, when I figured out how to make women feel naturally attracted to me and turned on by me as I talked to them, the floodgates opened.
I was sleeping with new women every week, I had 3 to 4 girlfriends at once and I enjoyed that playboy lifestyle for over 10 years.
Then, I met my perfect girl when she was 20 and I was 35, we settled down and we’ve been together ever since.
We’ve been together for nearly 7 years now and our relationship just gets better and better over time.
Getting Attention vs. Getting Results
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that there’s a big difference between getting attention from women and getting results with women.
A lot of guys waste many years of their life noticing that women LOOK at them.
Women check them out, but nothing happens.
The guy thinks, “Well, I will have to go to the gym more. I will have to get even better clothes. I’ll have to get a better haircut” and he goes and does that and in some cases, he then gets more attention from women.
They look at him, they check him out, but nothing happens.
He’s still on his own.
His friends, his family members (e.g. cousins or brothers) and his coworkers have got a girlfriend or wife.
They are enjoying themselves.
Yet, he doesn’t have anything, or he can only get women who are throwing themselves at him, which in most cases aren’t the type of women that he really wants.
The attractive girls that sometimes check him out, or the attractive girls that he sometimes notices, but doesn’t have the confidence to approach, never enter his life.
They always remain out of reach for him because he gets stuck at the stage of attention.
He’s getting attention from women, but he’s not doing anything with it.
So, whether you are a good looking guy, an average looking guy or a below-average looking guy, what you have to understand is that as a man in most cases, if you want to get the type of girl that you really want, you need to talk to her and make her feel attracted to you.
When you make her feel attracted to you as you talk to her, you can then connect with her and take things to the next level (e.g. phone number, kiss, date, sex, relationship).
It’s very easy to do.
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