Here are 5 common reasons why it can be difficult for a man to move on from his ex woman:
1. He tried to get her back in all the wrong ways and failed
When a man gets dumped by the woman he loves, it can cause him to behave out of character and start doing things that make the situation even worse.
For example: He might…
- Beg and plead with her for a second chance.
- Apologize to her over.
- Take the blame for everything that happened (i.e. say that it was all his fault) and ask her to forgive him and give him a chance to prove to her that he will change.
- Promise her that he will do anything she tells him to do to make her happy.
- Ask her to tell him how to be a better man in the relationship with her.
- Send her flowers, gifts, or cards.
- Send her loads of text messages, long-emails or letters telling her all about his feelings for her.
- Cry to her and try to make her feel guilty for dumping him.
When all that fails, he might then cut off contact with her for a few weeks or even months in the hope it will make her miss him and want him back.
Yet, cutting off contact and hoping that a woman (who is no longer attracted to you) will come running back is one of the worst ex back strategies a man could ever use.
It works well for a woman who wants to get a man back, but men who want to get a woman back who is no longer attracted to them fail miserably when they cut off contact and just wait…
When a man’s attempts to get his ex woman back fail, he then has to live with that feeling of rejection.
It sticks with him.
He realizes that he has lost the love of his life and nothing he tried to do worked to get her back.
Yet, in most cases, he didn’t try this…
He didn’t quickly level up as a man and then interact with her to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
As a result, she walked away from the relationship feeling as though she made the right decision.
He could have gotten her back, but he went about it in all the wrong ways.
If he knows, deep down inside that they are meant to be together, it will make it all the more difficult for him to move on with a new woman.
He will always have that niggling feeling that he should be with her, rather than with another woman.
He will always find himself imaging being back with her and being happy, but unless he is willing to try a new approach to get her back, he will have to deal with the lingering pain that always seems to sit in the background of his life, waiting for him to think about it again.
When he does remember her, the feelings come back.
The feelings get less painful over the years, but the regret and feeling of being left behind never goes away.
Another common reason why it can be difficult for a man to move on from his ex woman is…
2. She was more attractive than the kind of women he usually has access to
Sometimes a guy simply gets lucky in hooking up with a beautiful, confident woman that is ‘out of his league.’
She is only out of his league because he doesn’t have much confidence and doesn’t believe in his value to women, so he usually settles for the kind of woman who will accept him (e.g. unattractive, insecure women).
He is actually good enough for higher quality women, but since he doubts himself, those kinds of women overlook him and try to find a more suitable match.
So, it’s only natural that when a woman that he perceives as being too good for him (i.e. because she’s more beautiful than any of the women he’s dated before) goes ahead and breaks up with him, he’s probably then going to struggle to move on from her.
He may think, “I will never find another beautiful woman like her again. I got lucky with her and now that luck has run out. I’ve been trying to just get over it and accept that I’ve been dumped, but I can’t. I know that I don’t deserve her, but I also can’t live without her. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’ll never be happy now. Maybe I’ll never meet a woman who makes me feel the way she does.”
Unfortunately, that type of thinking just makes him smell of desperation and insecurity, which will not only turn his ex off if he interacts with her, but it will also turn other quality women off as well.
For example: If you interact with your ex and she sees that you have no longer have confidence in yourself and your attractiveness to her, rather than think, “Wow, he’s falling apart without me. I love that he thinks he can’t find a better woman than me. Maybe I should give him another chance. He’s going to be the most devoted boyfriend in the world because he thinks I’m too good for him,” she’s going to think something like, “He’s so nervous and unsure of himself around me now. He’s doing a good job of trying to hide it, but I can see it. I just don’t want to settle for a guy who feels like I’m doing him a favor by being with him. I want a man who feels worthy of me so I can look up to him, respect him and feel proud to be his woman. He just isn’t that man. He’s not good enough for a woman like me.”
Even though are good enough for her, she’s not going to believe that if you don’t believe it.
You have to believe it deep down, so you can then sincerely project that confidence in yourself.
Women can smell insecurity and self-doubt like a bloodhound dog can smell blood.
Women have been hard-wired to sniff out insecurity, self-doubt and desperation and avoid it, so you can’t hide it if it’s in there.
You’ve got to honestly believe that you are good enough for her and then interact with her, make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and get her back.
You can do it, but you have to believe that you can.
If you doubt that you can do it, you won’t come across in the right way via text messages, on a phone call or in person.
Another common reason why it might be difficult for a man to move on from his ex is…
3. The connection they shared was so unique and special that he can’t seem to find anything like it with another woman
If you and your ex had an amazing connection (e.g. you were into the same things, the sex was great, you loved each others individual quirks and odd personality traits, you had the same or similar beliefs about life, politics or love, you shared a similar vision for the future, you got along so easily), it’s only natural that it will be hard for you to move on with just any new woman you meet.
Here’s the thing though…
Even though you and her shared a unique connection, it doesn’t mean that she is the only woman who is perfect for a guy like you.
In reality, there are many millions of different women across the world who can easily be the one for you.
Of course, you probably don’t want to hear that right now because you want her back and that’s fine.
However, if you want her back after she has left you behind, what you need to understand is that all that really matters from is how she feels.
How much you want her back doesn’t really matter to her.
What matters is how she feels about you and her together.
If she doesn’t feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for the man you’ve become since the break up, then it’s not going to matter to her that you really want her back.
What matters is how she feels about you and her.
If you want her back, you have to reawaken her feelings for you, so she can realize for herself that there is still something there between you and her.
5 Common Mistakes That Guys When They Can’t Move On From an Ex Girl
Right now, you probably just want the pain of losing her to stop, so you can either feel confident enough to interact with her re-attract her, or move on with a new woman and forget about her.
Yet, no matter what you’ve tried so far, you just can’t seem to let her go and move on.
A lot of guys find themselves in your situation and then make one or more of the following mistakes, which rarely solve the problem or result in him getting her back…
1. Trying to distract himself with hobbies or work
Sometimes, a guy might decide that the best approach to move on from his ex woman is to make himself so busy that he doesn’t even have time to think about her.
He will then focus all of his attention on work or hobbies to block out any thoughts of her and what he has lost.
Here’s the thing though…
Although getting on with your life is a good thing and can often result in your ex feeling attracted to you, it won’t get her back if you just keep running away and never stop to interact with her and re-attract her on a phone call in person.
If you bury your head in work or distract yourself with hobbies to avoid thinking about it, it just keeps you stuck in a limbo where you’re not really getting over her at all.
Work and hobbies can only distract you so much, but as you would know, thoughts of her still find time to creep back into your mind.
You might have had a busy day or a busy week, but then you have to deal with laying in bed alone and thinking of her, or looking at happy couples when you’re out in public and missing what you once had.
This is why, if you want her back, you should quickly improve your ability to attract her during interactions and then do it.
Interact with her, re-attract her and get her back.
If you don’t want her back, then you have to level up your ability to attract women during interactions, so you can then attract high quality women and feel more than satisfied with what you’ve got.
If you don’t level up and end up trying to settle for a girl who is less than your ex, you will never be able to move on.
You might also fall into the trap of treating your new girlfriend (or wife) badly at times, because secretly, you don’t really love her or feel attracted to her the same way you felt for your ex.
So, whatever you do, make sure that you level up your ability to attract women, whether that is your ex or a new woman.
You deserve to get what you want, but you won’t get that if you are unable to properly attract the women you want.
The next mistake that guys often make in your situation is…
2. Comparing every new woman he meets with his ex
Regardless if how great your ex is, comparing her to every other woman you meet won’t help you get over her.
The truth is that every woman is different.
Some women will be better than your ex and some won’t.
What you and her shared was unique and it can never be replaced or replicated by another woman.
That is true.
However, by comparing every other woman to your ex and avoiding getting to a new relationship as a result, you’re simply delaying yourself from doing what you really want to do (i.e. get her back).
So, if you’re finding it hard to move on from your ex, rather than looking and hoping that you might find someone better and then feeling disappointed when no other woman matches up, just focus on getting her back.
Even if you and her don’t stay together forever after you get her back, at least you will have gotten her back, enjoyed having sex with her again, enjoyed hanging out and then parted ways on better terms.
However, that said, you’d be surprised at how many times I get contacted every week by men saying that they got their ex woman back and have been back with her for years now.
It’s always great to hear that because it lets me know that I’m making a difference in this world.
I hope to make a difference in your life too.
If you want her back, then keep learning from me here at The Modern Man and I will help you do that.
If you want to move on and find a new woman, same thing.
All the answers you seek are right here.
The next mistake that guys often make in your situation is…
3. Having sex with unattractive women because he doesn’t feel worthy beautiful women anymore
After getting dumped by the love of his life, a guy will sometimes lose so much confidence in himself and in his value to women that he ends up accepting unattractive women.
He thinks something like, “This is the best that I can do. My ex was so beautiful and now that I’ve lost her, I have to settle for what I can get, because no other quality woman will ever want me. I can’t even keep a relationship together. My ex was an amazing woman and was patient with me, but even she left me. If I want a relationship to last, I have to accept an unattractive woman. At least she won’t leave me.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that if he lacks the ability to build on a woman’s feelings of attraction for him in a relationship, even an unattractive woman will want to leave him.
Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, since he doesn’t truly feel attracted to the unattractive woman, he is less likely to be a good boyfriend or husband to her and will almost certainly end up taking her for granted and treating her badly at times.
This will then result in him getting dumped and being back where he started.
So, just know that wasting your time with unattractive women isn’t the solution to get over your ex and be happy.
In fact, in most case, it makes a guy miss his ex girl even more because no other women even comes close to making him feel how she did.
Another mistake that guys often make in your situation is…
4. Focusing on all of her good qualities and overlooking the bad because of how much he wants her back
One of the most common mistakes that guys make after a break up is to put their ex on a pedestal by focusing on all of her good qualities and ignoring the bad ones.
For example: A guy might think, “She was so perfect in every way. Not only was she really beautiful, but she was also intelligent and was a great person.”
Yet, he doesn’t focus on the things about her that weren’t so perfect.
For example: His ex might have been beautiful, but she may have used her looks as a weapon to make him jealous (e.g. by flirting with other guys, complaining about his physical appearance and saying that she likes guys who have traits that he doesn’t).
Alternatively, she might have been really intelligent, but she may also have been very selfish or lazy.
Another example is that she was good in bed, but was a horrible cook, or vice versa.
By only focusing on her good qualities, it causes a guy to think that he isn’t good enough for her and as a result, he will naturally display self-doubt and insecurity when he interacts with her, which will turn her off.
Another mistake that a guy might make in your situation is that…
5. He doesn’t go through the ex back process to get her back for real
Many guys don’t yet know that the secret to getting an ex woman back has been discovered.
The code has been cracked.
It is a set of steps that you follow and when you do, it results in you and her getting back into a sexual relationship and being more in love than you ever had been before.
If you want to learn those steps, continue now…