So why is your ex being rude or mean to you?
Many guys have contacted me and talked about their ex-girlfriend or ex-wife, and said it was like she changed into a completely different person after the break-up.
“She used to be so loving and warm and caring and she actually gave a crap about me, but now she treats me like dirt. She is rude to me, she’s mean, she’s cold, she’s distant.”
So, why is that?
Why is your ex being rude to you?
Here are five possible reasons why it’s happening to you.
1. She’s trying to get you to react in an angry or insecure way
Sometimes when a woman breaks up with a guy who is a good guy and she doesn’t really have much of a reason to break up with him, she’ll start being cold, mean and bitchy.
She’s hoping that he reacts by becoming angry or he becomes insecure and starts begging and pleading with her to give him another chance to open back up to him or to not forget about the love that they shared.
This often happens to guys who are very nice and they’re supportive of their woman and they essentially are being a really good boyfriend or a husband but she is not feeling the spark of sexual attraction that she wants for him.
It’s good to be a good man to a woman but when you’re leaning towards just being really nice to her all the time and being supportive but you’re not a dominant man, then she’s going to start getting bored of that.
It’s not about being an overly dominant or domineering man and saying to a woman like, “Sit over there. Alright, go make me a coffee. Make me food. Rub my feet. Suck me off. Get down on your knees right now.”
It’s not about being overly dominant, but women do respect a guy who has some dominance; a guy who can stand up to her in a loving, but assertive way.
So when a guy is too nice to his woman, he’ll often get that where she breaks up with him and she’s saying, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and that essentially means that she’s not feeling the spark.
She might then start to be cold and mean and bitchy and rude to her ex because she’s hoping that he can give her a reason to hate him, he can give her a reason to say, “See? That’s why I’m breaking up with you.”
If he becomes really angry at her and sends her insulting texts or if he becomes insecure and starts begging and pleading, she can say, “The way that you’re acting here makes it clear that we’re not supposed to be together. You’re not the right guy for me. I’ve had enough of this. I don’t want to hear from you anymore. Please leave me alone,”.
She can then feel good about herself for breaking up with him.
She doesn’t have to feel so guilty about dumping a good guy.
Now, I know that some guys who are here that might think, “Damn. So, women want me to be a bad boy? Do I have to treat women badly? Is that what I have to do be successful and not get broken up with?”
That’s not what women are looking for.
What the majority of women want is a good guy who has some dominance.
He has the ability to be dominant at times.
Not all the time, but at times.
When a guy is too soft with his woman, he’s too nice, he’s too supportive, too helpful and he listens too much to her drama, then she starts to get bored.
Likewise, if a woman is treating a man badly and he just puts up with it and keeps giving and giving even though she’s not being nice to him, she loses respect for him.
She looks at him as being a guy who doesn’t have much of a backbone.
She doesn’t want to be able to walk all over him like that.
She wants him to be able to stand up to her in a loving, but assertive way.
She wants a guy who understands that women do want a good man but they want that man to also have some balls, to not let themselves get walked all over by a woman.
When she throws a tantrum and demands things, she doesn’t want a guy to be giving in all the time and bowing down to her and being submissive.
She wants a guy who is able to stand up to her in a loving, but assertive manner.
So, to answer the question of, “Do you need to be a bad man to keep a woman?” the answer is obviously no.
Don’t confuse the idea of a woman dumping a good guy as meaning that they want a bad guy.
In most cases, when a good guy gets dumped, it’s just because he was too soft with his woman.
He was too gentle, he lacked assertiveness, he lacked confidence and it turned her off.
2. You keep asking for a relationship before re-attracting her
To get an ex-woman back, you have to focus on re-attracting her first.
You’ve got to make her feel respect for you as a man.
You’ve got to make her feel sexually attracted to you and when you do that, she will start to reconnect with the love that she used to feel for you.
She’ll also feel more love for you.
She’ll feel more attracted because you will have gone up one, two, three, maybe even 10 levels as a man in terms of your emotional attractiveness to her.
A big part of emotional attractiveness is about your style of confidence and how that makes her feel.
There are all different types of confidence that a guy can have.
A guy can be a good guy with a bit of confidence, a good guy with very assertive confidence, a good guy with situational confidence (e.g. he’s confidence at work, but he’s not confident in social situations).
There’s also the bad boy type of confidence, the arrogant guy and so on. There are all different types of confidence.
So with your woman, if she broke up with you and one of the reasons why is that you became insecure in the relationship, she’s going to feel more attracted to you if you get rid of your insecurity and become a more confident man.
The reason why she will feel more attracted is that you used to be at a certain level of confidence and she felt attracted to that.
So, when you step up one, two, three, four, even 10 levels of confidence, she is going to feel a different type of attraction for you.
It’s like a different flavor.
It’s a different sensation.
It’s a different experience for the woman to be around a guy who has a particular type of confidence.
So, what you need to do is focus on re-attracting her first rather than asking for a relationship.
You’ve got to work out what you need to improve to attract her and then start doing that when you interact with her.
She will pick up on it.
You don’t even need to tell her about it and say, “I’ve changed this and this and this.”
Just let her experience it.
She’ll pick it up.
Women are great at reading between the lines and noticing the subtle behaviors of men to assess for themselves whether or not a guy is this or that.
Once you’ve re-attracted her, then she’s going to be naturally interested in having a relationship with you.
However, if you’re asking for a relationship before you’ve even re-attracted her, then it should be no surprise that she’s being rude to you.
You want her back. You’re attracted to her. You have feelings for her but she doesn’t feel the same way.
She said that she’s broken up with, you keep coming at her asking for a relationship.
What do you expect her to do?
Be nice for the next 10 years and say, “Oh, look. You know, I’m just not interested in a relationship right now. You’re a great guy. Thanks for calling me for the 100th time. I hope you have a nice day.”
She has to get the message through, so she’s going start being rude to you.
She’s going to start trying to push you away because you haven’t transformed yet.
You haven’t gone up the levels that you need to go up to be more emotionally attractive to her.
You haven’t even done that yet.
You may have done a little bit of it, but it’s not enough.
If you haven’t got her back yet, it’s not enough.
You’ve got to step up to the plate and become a bigger better man than you have been before.
You may be a great man now already, but it’s not good enough to her.
You’ve got to step up and become more emotionally attractive.
Emotional attraction is about who you are as a man and how that makes her feel (e.g. your confidence, your charisma, your ability to use humor, how you pass her tests when she’s trying to mess with you and your general ability to connect with her and have a good conversation, have good feeling emotions flow when you’re interacting with each other).
Before I move on to the third possible reason why your ex may be rude to you at the moment, I want to address whose fault it is.
Whose fault do you think it is when a woman is acting rude to her ex-man?
There is no clear answer to that.
Sometimes it’s the woman’s fault because she’s a mean, nasty woman and sometimes it’s the man’s fault because he’s doing all the wrong things when he’s trying to get her back.
It’s making her feel annoyed and frustrated so she tries to be rude to him to get him to react badly.
Now, if you want to get an ex-woman back, you shouldn’t be trying to blame her or women in general.
You shouldn’t be focusing on saying things like women are all bitches, they’re untrustworthy, they’re disloyal, they’re selfish, they’re mean and so on.
You also shouldn’t be beating yourself up and thinking that you’re unlovable and unworthy of her.
You are worthy of her.
If you want to get her back, you must focus on getting her to respect you as a man, getting her to feel sexually attracted to you.
When you do that, she has feelings for you.
Her guard comes down.
She starts to reconnect with how she used to feel for you.
She starts to look at you in a different way.
Of course, some women are a bit more stubborn and cold and tough compared to others.
Even if you get her to respect you again and make her feel attracted to you, she may continue to behave in a cold, mean or rude way at times to test you.
She wants to see whether you’re new found confidence is real.
She wants to see whether you really can handle a woman like her.
She tested you out in a relationship and it turned out that you couldn’t handle a woman like her.
Yet, how about now?
Are you strong enough now? Have you transformed? Have you built the type of confidence that could handle a woman like her?
That is what counts.
3. She can sense that you haven’t changed
Women are very good at sensing whether or not a guy has changed the things that are important to her.
When it comes to attraction between men and women, women place a lot of importance on a guy’s emotional attractiveness.
So, if she interacts with you via text on the phone or in person and she can sense that you haven’t changed yet and you probably don’t even know how, she’s going to remain closed off.
She may even try to be rude to you to get you to turn her off even more so she can feel validated and feel right about breaking up with you.
4. You’re just texting her
Text messages and emails can easily be misinterpreted and misunderstood.
Have you ever sent an email to someone and they took it the wrong way or a text that you sent to someone and you meant something one way, but they took it another?
It’s so common.
The reason why is that according to many scientific studies, most of human communication is based on tonality and body language.
When you’re sending texts back and forth or emails and there is no tonality to what you’re saying, there’s no body language there, what does she do?
She has to guess at the kind of tone you would be using if you said that to her.
She has to guess at what kind of body language you would use if you were saying that to her face to face.
Now, if your woman has broken up with you and she’s turned off by you and you’re being insecure when she broke up with you, how do you think she’s going to be perceiving your texts?
She’s most likely going to be looking at those texts and imagining that you’re still being insecure.
Since insecurity isn’t attractive to women and it’s a big turn off, she’s not going to feel motivated to be nice and pleasant to you via text.
She’s turned off by what she is seeing as insecure text.
She thinks that you’re being needy or clingy or you’re trying too hard and she feels turned off by that so she starts being rude to you via text.
If you try even harder to impress her, she sees that as you being insecure and it turns her off even more.
So, this is why when getting a woman back, a guy should not focus on trying to get her back via text.
You can use text to create a spark with her and say a few things but if you want her back for real, you’ve got to get her on a phone call and you’ve got to meet up with her in person so you can re-attract her for real.
She can see your body language and your tonality in person.
She can observe your confidence in action.
She can feel it.
She can experience it.
It’s right there in front of her.
No matter what she says or does to try to make you feel insecure, you remain confident.
She can see it on your body language. She can hear it in your tonality.
She can pick up on it based on your choice of words, how you react to her, how you respond to her.
She can see it.
When that happens, she naturally feels respect and attraction for you, then you can actually get her back.
When a woman feels respect for ex-man and she starts to feel attracted to him as well, she then starts to reconnect with her feelings of love for him.
She starts to experience the new and improved version of him.
It’s exciting for her if he’s gone up a few levels in terms of confidence and overall emotional attractiveness.
She feels different.
She feels more drawn to him.
She feels turned on.
She feels like it would be exciting to hug him, to kiss him, to have sex with him again even if she just wants to do it to see how it feels and see how she feels afterwards.
Yet, in the process of going through with that, she falls back in love with her ex-guy and he gets her back.
5. She is over you and won’t change unless you do
When a guy is seeking help to get his woman back, it’s usually a case where his woman is over it.
She’s over him.
She doesn’t want to get back with him and she’s had enough.
So, if that applies to you, don’t worry.
Most guys who get their ex-woman back start at that same place.
She doesn’t want anything to do with him.
She says, “Leave me alone. I’m over it. I don’t have feelings for you anymore. Don’t even try to get back together with me. It’s done.”
Some guys believe that what she is saying is 100% correct and permanent.
Some guys believe that they don’t have any control over how they make her feel.
They don’t understand that a woman’s attraction is not set in stone. It’s fluid. It’s changeable.
For example: If a man is interacting with his ex-woman and he’s being insecure and begging and pleading or he’s apologizing over and over again, he’s not going to be making her feel respect and attraction.
She’s not going to get turned on by that emotional weakness and the sucking up type of behavior.
Yet, if he switches his approach and starts focusing on getting her to respect him and feel sexually attracted to him, then she stops talking about it being over.
She becomes open to going through the ex back process with him.
The Truth About Relationships
One final point that I want to talk about here in terms of an ex being rude is that sometimes it’s a bit of a wake-up call about relationships.
Before you and her got into a relationship, you were an individual and she was an individual.
When you are in a relationship, even though it might have felt like you and her were one, you were still two individuals.
You were two individuals in a relationship and you’re both deciding to be together. Therefore, the relationship stays together.
Now that you’ve broken up, she’s an individual and you’re an individual.
You want to be in a relationship but she doesn’t.
Sometimes what happens is that when a guy gets broken up with by his woman, he can’t believe how rude she’s being, how mean she’s being, how cold she’s being after all he did for her, after all they went through.
They used to be so in love.
She used to say, “I want to be with you forever. I want to grow old with you. I want to start a family with you,” and all that sort of stuff.
Now, she’s being rude.
Now, she’s being a bitch.
Now, she’s being cold.
Well, that’s the wake-up call, which teaches you the truth about relationships.
You’re actually an individual, she’s an individual and relationships only stay together if there are mutual feelings.
If you want to get ex-woman back, you’ve got to make her have feelings for you.
You’ve got to focus on making her respect you as a man, making her feel sexually attracted when she interacts with you and if you do that, she then wants to get back with you.
She starts feeling drawn to you.
Her guard comes down and if you can be confident and guide her through the ex back process, you can get her back.
I hope this video has helped you and if you need more help to get your ex-woman back, I recommend that you watch my program Get Your Ex Back Super System
It’s 10 hours of video and when you finish watching the video, you’ll be ready to contact your ex, get her to meet up with you, re-attract her and get the relationship back together.
When you watch the video, you’ll feel more confident than you’ve ever felt in a long time.
You’ll feel emotionally strong, you’ll have new techniques that you can use to make her respect you, make her feel attracted to you and make her love you again.