Some women will make it obvious that they don’t want to get back with an ex boyfriend, whereas others will only give subtle clues.

Likewise, sometimes a woman will secretly be missing her ex boyfriend and be hoping to get back with him, but will not make it obvious.

So, here are signs to look out for that suggest she either wants you to get her back, or to leave her alone:

1. If she wants you back, she will usually be open to talking to you

In many cases, a woman won’t show a lot of interest in an ex (that she secretly wants back) because:

  • She doesn’t want to seem too desperate for pursuing him after she broke up with him.
  • She doesn’t want to give him the impression that it’s easy to get her back, so he then thinks he doesn’t have to change or improve anything about himself.
  • She doesn’t want to get rejected by him if he’s not interested in her anymore. If that happens, she will end up feeling hurt and like the one who got dumped, so she plays it cool.
  • She wants to see if he’s got the confidence to do what needs to be done to get her back, or if he will be unsure of himself and wait for her to lead him. Women respond to confidence, so if she senses that he’s insecure and unsure of himself, she will question whether or not it’s a good idea to continue being open to him.

So, if you want to get your ex back while you still have a chance, don’t waste time wondering whether or not she wants it as well.

If she has contacted you, take it as a sign that she does want you back.

Then, interact with her (on the phone and in person), create additional sparks of attraction inside of her (e.g. by being confident, using playfully challenging humor, flirting with her) and get her back.

2. If she truly wants you to leave her alone for now, a woman will usually say that and then block you

So, a woman will say something like, “Just leave me alone. It’s over. You need to move on” and then block your number.

She might also unfriend you on social media and possibly even stop hanging out at any of the places that she might run into you.

If you do want her back, don’t assume it’s impossible to make it happen now that she’s blocked you.

The truth is, feelings change all the time.

Right now, your ex might be saying she wants you to leave her alone.

Yet, when you spark some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you, she’s naturally going to change her mind (i.e. because she’s feeling positive emotions such as respect, attraction and excitement again).

She then becomes more open to talking to you again.

How can you get in touch with her to spark her feelings if she’s blocked you?

Send her an email, ask a friend to text her for you, or even show up at her place of work or home (at a suitable time of course) so you can talk to her in person.

If you are worried about using those approaches, use a more subtle approach that works, which is to post photos to social media of yourself having fun and looking confident around other people.

Be sure to post the photos as ‘public’ so she can see them without having to follow you.

Whatever approach you decide to take, the most important thing to do is to focus on re-attracting her (i.e. posting photos of yourself looking happy and confident around others, rather than posting photos of yourself alone, or making posts that suggest you are on your own, feeling lonely or lost without her).

Another sign to look out for is…

3. If she wants you to get her back, a woman will often like and comment on your social media posts

A woman who has lost a lot of respect and attraction for a guy and no longer wants to be with him, will usually avoid being nice to him (e.g. liking his posts, commenting in a nice way).

Rather than being nice and potentially giving him the wrong idea, she will try to cut off all contact, make a clean break and move on without him.

So, if your ex has been clicking ‘like’ on most, or all of your social media posts or even leaving comments, it can be her subtle way of letting you know that she’s still interested.

Essentially, she’s giving you an excuse to message or call her and open up the lines of communication between you again.

If you want her back, you must build up the confidence to make a move while you still can (i.e. before she meets another guy that she finds more attractive and appealing).

4. If she wants you to leave her alone, a woman will often be very cold, rude and distant if you try to contact her

If she wants you to leave her alone, a woman will often be very cold, rude and distant if you try to contact her

That kind of behavior from a woman can often be a clear sign that she wants you to leave you alone.

Yet, not always.

For example: Sometimes a woman will be cold, rude and distant to test her ex’s confidence (e.g. if he was insecure in the relationship).

It’s her way of checking to see if he’s changed and leveled up as a man, or if he’s still stuck at the same level.

So, if your ex has been cold, rude, distant or mean towards you since the break up, it might have left you feeling confused about whether or not she wants you back, or wants you to leave her alone.

It really can be either.

However, the most important thing to understand about break ups, is that all it usually takes is a spark of respect and attraction inside of a woman, for her to begin to drop her guard and open up to the possibility of getting back with you.

She suddenly realizes that her feelings for you aren’t dead, which then makes her begin to worry about regretting it if she doesn’t give you another chance before you move on without her.

This is why, if you want her back, you shouldn’t just give up based on her initial treatment of you.

As long as you focus on saying and doing the types of things that create a spark inside of her (e.g. maintaining your confidence with her regardless of how cold, distant or bitchy she’s being, using humor to break down her defenses and make her feel good around you again, showing her via your attitude, actions and behavior that you’ve changed and improved some of the things that turned her off during the relationship), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.

That’s how millions of men get women back, every day, all across the world.

It’s the best and most natural way to get a woman back and it works.

5. If she wants you back, a woman will find excuses to randomly contact you

For example: She might congratulate you on something you achieved or experienced recently, wish you a happy birthday, ask how a friend or family member is doing and so on.

Whatever her reason is doesn’t really matter.

If your ex is contacting you, then you have an opportunity to re-attract her during your interactions with her.

For example:

  • Don’t make the mistake of remaining neutral, or just acting friendly with her when she contacts you. Instead, be playful and flirtatious to create sexual tension between you. Sexual tension (i.e. when you feel the desire to have sex, but can’t because there is an obstacle in between you and her) will make more open to hanging out with you in person, so she can release the tension with touching, kissing and sex.
  • Don’t suck up to her with a nice guy act. For example: You might be tempted to be extra polite, nice and be on your best behavior to show how serious you are about getting her back. Yet, being a bit playfully challenging to make her laugh, feel excited and feel attracted around you is infinitely more effective.
  • Don’t apologize too much for what you did. It’s fine to give her one sincere apology, but repeatedly apologizing will make you look desperate and will create the wrong power dynamic in the new relationship (i.e. it will be about her allowing you another chance, rather than you both wanting to give each other another chance).
  • Don’t be stick to just texting her if she reaches out via text. It’s fine to reply via text, but get to a phone call shortly after, or at the very least, send her some voice texts, so she can hear your confidence and sense that you’re not being needy, desperate or too keen.

The more attracted you make her feel when she interacts with you, the more she will truly believe that getting back with you will be the right thing for her to do.

Then, it’s just a matter of catching up and you and her will be back together.

6. If she wants you to leave her alone, she might get into a new, serious relationship with a guy

Many women quickly do that to hopefully turn their ex off, or make him feel insecure.

Yet, if you maintain your confidence and have the courage to interact with her and create new feeling of attraction inside of her, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again.


Just like pretty much every woman on the planet, your ex will secretly want to be with a confident man who believes in himself and maintains his belief no matter what she says or does.

That is like being a 10/10 in a woman eyes, because it’s so difficult to find and when a woman does find it, she feels a deep, primal attraction for him because it also makes her feel safe.

On the other hand, if a woman is with a guy who is insecure and can’t maintain his confidence, then she can’t rely on him to protect her and keep her safe throughout life, so she feels instinctively and primally turned off.

So, make sure that you maintain your confidence no matter what she says or does to try to make you feel insecure.

When she senses your unwavering confidence, she will automatically feel a new sense of respect and attraction for you.

You can then build on her attraction and hook up with her again, so she feels unsure about her feelings for the other guy.

7. If she wants you to get her back, she might act like she is over you, but then show interest again the next day

If she wants you to get her back, she might act like she is over you, but then show interest again the next day

A guy might experience that kind of behavior from his ex and think, “I don’t know if she wants me to get her back or leave her be. It feels like she’s playing mind games with me. Maybe she is over me, but is just messing with my head…or maybe she wants me back. I don’t know!”

It can be very confusing for a guy.

So, let me clear it up for you.

A woman can have different (and often very valid) reasons for pretending that she’s over her ex one day and then showing interest the next.

For example:

  • She’s testing his confidence level (e.g. does he have the balls to get her back even though she’s not making it easy for him? Does he still lack the kind of confidence she looks for in a man?).
  • She’s testing to see how interested in getting her back he really is (e.g. does he want her back because he cares for her, or is it mostly about his ego being hurt when she dumped him?).
  • She feels attracted sometimes, but then feels turned off other times (e.g. she’s attracted when he’s being confident, self-assured, flirts with her and makes her feel desirable. Yet, she feels turned off when he’s being unsure of himself, sucks up to her and lets her call all the shots).
  • She is trying to keep the possibility of you and her getting back together open, so she can have a little more time to make her final decision.

This is why, the best response is for you to remain calm, relaxed and confident no matter how she behaves.

That way, you are behaving in a way that will be attractive to her, which will make it difficult for her to get over you and move on.

Regardless of how attracted you make her feel, don’t just sit around waiting for her to make it 100% clear that she wants you to get her back.

In many ex back cases, a guy needs to have the courage to make a move (i.e. arrange a catch up and then hook up with her), otherwise the attraction she has will fade away, or be replaced by her attraction to a new guy she meets.

8. If she wants you to leave her alone, she might ask you to never contact her again

In a case like that, the best approach is to tell her that you accept her decision, agree that you and her won’t ever get back together and then get her to agree to meet up with you one last time to say goodbye as friends.

If she says no, just tell her that if she never wants to hear from you after catching up as friends, you will never contact her again.

This gives you an opportunity to re-attract her in person and her an opportunity to close off the relationship.

Yet, when you re-attract her in person, she then feels confused and begins to regret saying that she never wants to speak to you again.

She realizes that if she doesn’t ever speak to you again, or see you, then she’s going to miss you because she does have feelings for you.

Her feelings for you have only just been reawaken, but they’re there.

She can feel the pain of losing you now.

When she’s feeling that kind of emotional pain, she naturally wants to stop it by trying to keep things open between you and her, rather than closing you off completely.

This means that she’ll be much more likely to be open to texting and potentially catching up in person again, or to you suggesting a goodbye hug at the end up the catch up, which can then lead to a kiss and to sex.

9. If she wants you to get her back, she will actively flirt with you

A woman will almost never risk getting rejected by an ex guy if she thinks he’s not interested in her anymore.

So, if your ex has flirted with you lately, or the last time you interacted, don’t sit around waiting for more obvious signs that she wants you back.

What are some flirting examples?

Her being cute in text messages, her being sexually suggestive in text messages, her using pet names or nicknames that you and her used in the relationship, her smiling and looking at you in a cute way when talking to you in person, her touching you more than she needs to and so on.

If she’s done anything like that, you’ve got to believe in yourself and understand that she’s still willing to flirt with you, which clearly suggests she still has those kind of feelings for you.

If a woman doesn’t have those feelings, she will rarely, if ever, flirt with an ex.

Instead, she will be cold, distant and talk to him only like a friend, rather than potentially giving him the wrong idea.

So, if your ex has been flirting, then have the courage to build up the sexual tension between you and her and then blissfully release it together with kissing and sex.

Don’t just let the sexual tension build and then not do anything with it.

If she’s feeling horny and you’re not fulfilling her needs, she will naturally begin to feel open to sleeping with other men.

So, if she’s feel attracted, make a move while you still can.

Sex speeds up the process of reconciling a relationship, stops a lot of the mind games or uncertainty between a man and a woman and helps get things back on track.

10. If she wants you to leave her alone, she won’t care if you ignore her or move on

In cases like those, the best way to make her care is to use any interactions you have with her (e.g. via text, social media, over the phone or in person), to re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings you.

The more you make her feel attracted, smile, feel desirable and feel good when talking to you, the more that the idea of losing you for real will begin to worry her.

She then naturally wants to talk to you more and hang out to see how she feels.

On the other hand, if she’s lost touch with her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you and broke up with you because of it, then you ignoring her for a few weeks or even months isn’t going to bother her.

Instead, she’s going to use the time to move on and find a new man.

11. If she wants you to get her back, she might not admit it to you and will just wait

In a case like that, she will be secretly be hoping that you have the courage to make a move.

Of course, she won’t wait forever.

If she notices that you’re not doing anything to get her back after a couple of weeks, she may force herself to get over you and move on (usually by hooking up with another man).

Don’t let that happen to you.

If you want your ex back, you’ve got to be man enough to take control of the situation, rather than expecting her to be the strong one who gets you and her back together.

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