Over the years, there have been many studies conducted on couples who break up and get back together.
According to these studies, the age of the couple and the seriousness of the relationship will be the main determining factor about whether they get back together or not.
- In 2009 René Dailey from the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Texas, found that approximately 65% of U.S. college students had broken up and then gotten back together again.
- A 2012 study conducted by S. Halpern-Meekin, W. D. Manning, P. C. Giordano, M. A. Longmore (Relationship Churning in Emerging Adulthood: On/Off Relationships and Sex With an Ex) published in the Journal of Adolescent Research found that 44% of young adults aged 17 to 24, reported breaking up and getting back together again, with 53% admitting to having sex with an ex.
- According to a 2013 study conducted by Amber Vennum, an assistant professor of Family Studies and Human Services at Kansas State University, about 37% of couples living together, and 23% of married couples have broken up and then gotten back together again.
- Earlier studies on married couples (Kitson, 1985; Wineberg & McCarthy, 1994), found that between 10-17% of married couples separated and then got back together again, and about 40% of separated married couples attempted a reconciliation (Bumpass, Castro Martin, & Sweet, 1991; Wineberg, 1996a).
- Finally, some studies found that couples in less committed relationships were less likely to get back together again after a breakup than couples who were living together or married.
- According to research conducted by Nancy Kalish, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at California State University, Sacramento, married couples that reunite after divorce have a 72% chance of staying together for life.
The Statistics Look Bad Because They Aren’t 100% Accurate
The statistics show anywhere from 10% to 72% chance of getting back together after a break up, which isn’t isn’t very encouraging if you want a 100% chance to get your woman back.
However, the good news is that the statistics above do not take into account the fact that men can now seek help online and learn how to get their woman back.
Based on my years of online experience helping men to get women back, I see way better numbers than those listed above.
Most men are able to get another chance with their woman, even if they start the ex back process at a point where she has absolutely no feelings for him anymore.
The fact is, statistics rarely tell the whole story of what is really going on in today’s society, which is changing so quickly.
Pretty much all of the studies that have been done on break ups, separations and divorces are usually based on couples who broke up and then didn’t know how to get each other back.
The couple may have gone to counselling (e.g. if they were married or in a serious, long term relationship), but counsellors will rarely, if ever, teach a man how to re-attract a woman and will simply tell him to be nicer to her, listen and all the kinds of things that he’s already been doing and that hasn’t been working.
As a result, many men feel lost, don’t know how to get their woman back and end up making rookie mistakes like these:
1. Begging, pleading, asking for another chance even though he hasn’t really changed.
Not knowing what else to do, a guy will often beg and plead for another chance, even though he hasn’t changed or doesn’t even know what or how to change to make her happy.
When a guy is begging, pleading and generally putting himself in an emotionally vulnerable position, he actually becomes less attractive to his ex, and his chances of getting her back become diminished. Why?
A woman wants to be in a relationship with a man she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to; in other words, a man who is confident, emotionally strong, focused and determined.
So, when a guy is begging, crying, asking her to give him another chance, he’s not making her feel like she can look up to him and respect him.
Instead she’s seeing him as someone who is insecure, needy and emotionally weak, which turns her off even more and causes her to think, “I don’t want to get back with him. If he’s behaving like this now, what happens when he has to deal with something serious in our relationship (e.g. an illness or death, losing his job)? He will probably expect me to guide him and be the stronger one. I don’t want to do that. I want a man I can look up to and rely on, not the other way around.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
All of the statistics above don’t take into account the fact that I now provide this free video that helps guys understand what to say and do to recover from the mistake of begging and pleading to their woman…
As you can see from the video above, begging and pleading to her and turning her off like that isn’t the end of the world.
You can recover from a mistake like that.
Another rookie ex back mistake is…
2. Trying to convince her to give him another chance, rather than changing how she feels so she feels motivated to try again.
One of the most common reactions that guys have when they get broken up with is to try to convince their ex to change her mind.
For example: A guy might get into debates or discussions with his ex and say things like, “After everything we shared, the least we can do is try to make things right between us. Please just give you and me one more chance,” or “How can you just let our love die like this? I love you more than anything in the world. Don’t do this to me” in the hopes that she’ll change her mind.
Yet, a woman will rarely (if ever) change her mind based on explanations.
The only way a woman will get back together again with her ex, is if he triggers her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
Watch this video to understand why…
A lot of guys who don’t get their ex woman back try to convince her to give him another chance and when she says, “No” they give up.
Yet, now a guy can visit my site, learn how to re-attract her and get the relationship back together.
So, for a guy who is wondering, “What are my chances of getting my ex back based on the statistics of couples breaking up and getting back together?” the studies don’t offer much hope.
However, as mentioned earlier, what the statistics don’t show is that these days help is available online.
5 Tips to Get Your Ex Back ASAP
Men from all over the world are quietly getting their woman back and getting on with enjoying a happy relationship with her by doing the following 5 things:
1. Understand her real reasons for breaking up.
The main reason why a woman will break up with a guy is because something about his behavior, way of thinking and attitude has been really turning her off.
- He took her for granted (e.g. stopped making her feel loved and appreciated, stopped noticing her efforts to look good for him, stopped being a man of his word, treated her badly and expected her to put up with it).
- He became too insecure and clingy in the relationship (e.g. stopped having a social life outside of his relationship with her, kept needing her to reassure him of her love, didn’t allow her to spend any time away from him because he didn’t trust her or simply needed to be with her for his sense of identity and happiness in life).
- He was too nice and always let her dominate him (e.g. he let her make most or all of the decisions, let her win every argument or disagreement in the hope that it would make her happy).
- He wasn’t following through on his big dreams and ambitions for life (e.g. he spent all of his time sitting at home watching TV or playing video games, drinking or hanging out with his buddies).
- He stopped making her feel girly and feminine around him (e.g. she felt more like a friend or a mother figure rather than his girl).
By figuring out caused your ex’s feelings for you to change, you can then begin to turn things around by making some attractive improvements to the way you think, feel, talk, act and behave to show her that you’ve learned from your mistakes and become a better man since the break up.
You are now a man that respect, look up to and feel sexually attracted to again.
2. Make changes to what is really important to her, which is usually completely different to what she says is important.
In most cases, a woman will rarely come out and say to a guy, “I want you to change these 7 specific things about yourself or else I’m going to break up with you.”
Instead, she will have likely given hints and suggestions in the hopes that he’ll figure it out on his own.
For example: A guy might be in the habit of always canceling plans with his girlfriend (fiancé or wife) at the last minute, without giving her much notice or taking her feelings into consideration.
She might then say something like, “I was really looking forward to that dinner/movie/concert,” rather than coming out and saying to him directly, “You let me down again! You’re now in the habit of taking me for granted and I don’t like it. If you keep doing this, I’m going to break up with you. You need to take my feelings into consideration. If you don’t change that, I will end the relationship and when I do, I will say something like “I just don’t feel the same way anymore” rather than reminding you of what you’ve been doing wrong and what you need to fix to get me back.”
So, why doesn’t a woman just come out and say exactly is bothering her and what the guy can do to change?
The main reason is because most women don’t want to be a man’s teacher or mother in life and have to teach him how to be the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to.
A woman doesn’t want to do that.
She doesn’t want to dominate him and feel like she needs to take care of him like he’s a little child.
She wants him to figure out how to be the man that she needs, without her having to help him or guide him.
She also doesn’t want to give him the exact instructions on how to get her back, because that would make her begin to become his teacher on how to become a man.
So, rather than getting stuck in that role, she will simply say something like, “I don’t feel the same way anymore” or “I need time apart to think things through.”
Here’s the thing…
If you don’t fully understand what your ex wants you to change about yourself, you might be offering her what she doesn’t want.
For example: A woman might want her guy to be more ballsy and stand up to her rather than putting up with her BS, but he keeps offering to treat her better and spend more time with her instead.
She thinks, “Hhhh…he just doesn’t get it” and doesn’t tell him, “Hey, man up. Stop letting me disrespect you like I do. Be loving and respectful to me when you stand up for yourself, but stand up for yourself. Stop being such a pushover!”
Alternatively, she might want him to be more ambitious and driven in his life, but he’s apologizing for taking her for granted.
So, it’s very important that you understand your ex’s real reasons for breaking up.
If you try to get her back by offering to change the wrong things about yourself, she will feel as though you don’t understand her, which will make her feel even less respect and attraction for you.
3. Reactivate her feelings during 1-3 interactions on the phone and in person.
The fastest way to get an ex back is by actively re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
Where many guys go wrong is by thinking that a woman’s feelings will change all by themselves without any effort on their part.
So, rather than actively making her have feelings for him over the phone and in person, a guy might then sit back and wait for weeks and sometimes even months to hear from his ex.
Then, when she doesn’t contact him he assumes that she just doesn’t want to be with him anymore and there’s nothing he can do about it.
The fact is, if a woman doesn’t have any feelings for her ex (e.g. because he really turned her off by being very insecure, clingy and controlling), not hearing from him will actually be a relief.
She may think, “Phew! That was easier than I expected. I thought my ex was going to hound me to give him another chance. Instead, he just went away quietly. Now I can get on with my life without worrying about him anymore. I guess him and I weren’t meant to be. I haven’t really been bothered about him not being in my life, so I suppose that means I should be with someone else instead. If he was the one, I would be missing him.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
In most cases, a woman will only contact her ex (after he’s been ignoring her for a long time) when she’s still in love with him and wants to get back together again, or if she’s been struggling to find another guy to replace him.
In almost all other instances, the woman will just close that chapter of her life and move on because her ex hasn’t said or done anything to reactivate her feelings.
So, if you want to get back together with your ex, don’t waste a lot of time avoiding her and hoping she will come back to you on her own.
Instead, get her on a phone call with you right away and begin triggering her feelings of desire by making her smile, laugh and enjoy the thrill of talking to you again.
Then, get her to meet up with you in person.
In most cases, all it takes is 2 to 3 interactions where the guy is sparking her feelings (on the phone and in person), before a really stubborn woman will begin to drop her guard and open herself up to you again.
In easy cases, all it takes is one phone call and one meet up and the couple is back together.
However, with women who don’t have any feelings for their ex anymore, it usually takes 2 to 3 interactions to fully get her back.
Even if she tries to fight it, her mind will be telling her, “He’s not the same guy anymore. Maybe I should give him another chance” and her resolve to stay mad at him will fade away.
4. Get her to open up to giving the relationship another try.
So, how can you spark a woman’s feelings for you and make her open up to giving the relationship another try?
One of the ways is by using humor.
When you focus on making a woman smile, laugh, and feel good to be interacting with you, it makes it very difficult for her to hang on to her angry, negative feelings about you.
For example: If a guy is talking to his ex on the phone and she is being cold and unfriendly towards him, it’s easy for him to just give up on trying to talk to her and end the call.
However, if he lets her push him away like that so easily, he will miss out on the opportunity to use her unwillingness to talk to him as a way of sparking her feelings again, and at the same time gain back her respect by handling her bitchiness so well.
How does it work?
Imagine that you’re talking to your ex on the phone and she says something like, “Why are you calling me? Do you think I have nothing else going on in my life just because we’re broken up?”
A common reaction that a guy might have is to just say something like, “No, that’s not what I’m thinking,” but nothing about that is going to spark her feelings and make her feel attracted.
On the other hand, if she says, “Why are you calling me? Do you think I have nothing else going on in my life just because we’re broken up?” you can respond by saying something like, “Of course you have things going on in your life. Let me think…there’s eating, sleeping, washing your hair, reading, watching TV, washing your hair… Yep, I’m guessing there’s a lot of hair washing going on. I remember that was your favorite pastime when we were together. You used to watch your hair like 5 times a week. That hair of yours keeps you busy” and then have a laugh with her about that.
She will likely laugh, or at least smile how you handled her bitchy attitude in a confident, but loving way.
She will then feel curious about your newfound relaxed, confident attitude towards her, which will naturally spark some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When that happens, her resistance begins to fall away and she opens herself up to the idea of giving the relationship another try.
From there, it’s up to you to guide her through the rest of the ex back process.
5. Guide her back into a relationship that feels better than it ever did before.
When you spark a woman’s feelings for you again and then build on it, all her walls begin to come down and she literally wants to be back in your arms again.
The thought of hugging you, kissing you and even having sex with you all starts to feel so good again.
She wants it.
She might try to fight it at first by telling herself, “Why am I thinking of him in that way? I broke up with him for a reason. I don’t want him back. It’s over. Why am I acting like a silly schoolgirl who is in love all over again? Why do I want to have sex with him again?”
Yet, her heart will be full of new, pleasurable feelings for you that she won’t be able to ignore.
What she probably doesn’t realize now is that falling back in love with you will be one of the best feelings that she’s ever going to experience in life.
Getting back with an ex who has really changed and can now make her feel attracted in new ways is an amazing experience for a woman.
It makes her feel a kind of love, attraction and respect that she just can’t experience in any other way.
When you get her back, she will realize that if she had let you go, she would now be missing out on the greatest love of her life.
Remember: The key to getting her back is making her have such strong feelings for you that she feels she can’t stop herself from wanting to be around you again.
What a lot of guys don’t realize is that the breaking up and getting back together statistics available online rarely show the real picture.
So, while professors and psychologists might focus on the old numbers from outdated studies, today’s men are quietly getting help online, getting their women back and then enjoying a happy relationship with her once again.