Important: These examples will only work if you reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you first.
If you just say these things to her without making her experience renewed feelings for you first, she won’t feel enough for you to say yes, or even consider, taking you back one more time.
To begin with, there are two examples of how you convince your ex to take you back:
1. Make her feel understood and show that you’ve moved past the level you were at when she broke up with you, by being serious and sincere when you talk to her.
Watch this video to understand how that works…
2. Break the ice with humor and get her smiling, laughing and feeling happy to be talking to you again, so that she drops her guard and opens herself up to the idea of getting back together again.
Watch this video to understand how that works…
If you use either one of those approaches, you should be able to convince her to take you back one more time.
Let’s have a look at those examples in more detail…
Example 1: Making her feel understood.
Imagine that you’re talking to your ex and she is saying things like, “It’s really over between us. There’s nothing that will make me take you back one more time.”
You can say something like, “Hey, I know that right now, you feel like there’s nothing good left between us. I get it. I messed up and clearly you’ve gotten to the point where you can now only focus on the bad stuff between us. All the good things that happened between us doesn’t matter to any more. I understand why you feel that way and I don’t blame you. If I were you, I would also be saying there’s nothing that can convince me to take you back one more time. However, one thing I want you to understand is that neither one of us is perfect. No one is. We both made some mistakes in our relationship, but that doesn’t mean we are bad people; it simply means we made some mistakes and learned from that, just like other people do. I accept full responsibility for my past mistakes, but I would appreciate it if you could see me for who I am now, not who I was back then. I’m not that guy anymore. I don’t expect you to believe that right away, and I don’t expect you to want to get back together again now because you’re feeling hurt. That’s fine and it’s your decision and I respect it. However, all I ask is that you at least let us try and be friends for now. Let’s get to know each other again based on who we are now, rather than who we were in the past.”
Naturally, saying something like that to her isn’t going to automatically make her think, “Wow! My ex has changed so much. I love him now. Let’s get back together again,” but it does calm things down and gets her to be more reasonable.
She begins to see that you have already matured and become a better man since the break up, which makes her feel some respect and attraction for you.
That’s what you want.
When you can make her feel some respect for you again, it makes her drop her guard, even if just a little bit.
From that moment, you’ve got to continue saying and doing the types of things that will build on her feelings of respect and attraction for you, rather than saying and doing the types of things that were turning her off in the past, or that have been turning her off since she broke up with you.
Example 2: Making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you.
Imagine that you’re talking to your ex and she says something like, “I don’t love you anymore,” or “You mean nothing to me now. It’s over… you need to move on.”
Instead of pleading with her, or trying to convince her to change her mind by saying things like, “Please! I’ll do anything you want me to do. Just give me one more chance,” or “I love you! What about what we had together – doesn’t that count for anything?” you can use humor to get rid of the seriousness of what she is saying.
Using humor to deflect serious comments like that takes away the anger and allows her to be more relaxed and open when talking to you.
So, if your ex says something like, “You mean nothing to me now. It’s over… you need to move on,” you can respond by joking with her and saying something along the lines of, “What do you mean I need to move on? I got engaged last week” and then laugh with her about that.
By approaching a potentially serious conversation in a funny way, she’s more likely to relax, smile, laugh and be more open to talking to you and agree to catch up and see you in person.
Using humor to get her laughing creates some positive feelings in her, which makes her stop only focusing on the negatives about you.
Even if she tries to fight it, she can’t stop herself from beginning to feel respect for you for having the confidence and the social skills to make her laugh and smile in a serious moment like that.
However, once again, that’s not the magic solution to convincing a woman to take you back one more time.
It’s just a great technique to lower her guard and get her open to going through the ex back process with you.
After you make her smile and laugh, you then need to get serious and show her that you respect her decision.
You might then say to her, “I was just kidding. Seriously though, I understand why you’re feeling like that about me now and I accept your decision about the break up. I now understand what I did wrong when we were together, and I’m sorry that I hurt you. I don’t expect you to want to get back with me, but I do want you to know that I’m sorry and I still love you, even if you and I never, ever get back together again.”
From then on, every time you interact with her (e.g. via text, on social media, over the phone, or in person), you need to focus on reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction for you, by displaying some of the traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, maturity, humor, determination, emotional masculinity).
You need to keep showing her (based on how you talk to her, behave, think and take action) that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with.
That’s how to convince her to take you back one more time.
She feels convinced because she feels good, not because you are giving her lots of good reasons to take you back.
She feels attracted, respectful towards you and is enjoying interacting with you, so getting back together seems like a good thing to do.
4 Mistakes to Avoid When Trying to Get Her to Take You Back One More Time
You can get her to take you back one more time, but if you make any or all of these rookie mistakes, it will slow the process down and potentially push her away for good.
The first rookie mistake that guys make is…
1. Asking for another chance without improving the things that she is really breaking up with him for.
If you’re asking your ex for another chance without improving the things that she is really breaking up with you for (e.g. she wants you to be more manly, but you are trying to get her back by treating her even better than you have before), she’s just going to keep pushing you away and saying things like, “Sorry, you and I aren’t a match anymore. It’s over between us… get used to it. You just don’t understand what I want or need.”
To reactivate your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you again, you first need to understand the real reasons why she broke up with you.
Then, when you next interact with her, you can show her that you really have changed in the ways that are important to her.
For example: If a woman dumped a guy because he was insecure and too emotionally sensitive, he has to show her that he’s become emotionally stronger since the break up.
A way to show her that he is now an emotionally strong and confident man is by behaving differently to the way she is expecting.
For instance, if she tries to get a reaction out of him by saying things like, “I hate you,” or “I never want to see you again,” rather than react by getting upset, or begging her to forgive him, he reacts by laughing and making a joke about it.
With the example of a guy getting dumped for not being manly enough, he needs to show her that he has now changed and can stand up for himself, while still continuing to be a loving, respectful man.
If she tries to test him by ordering him around, or telling him what to do, he can stand up for himself in an easy-going manner by joking around and saying something like, “Wow, you sure are a Miss Bossy Boots now, aren’t you? Ha ha ha, you’re funny” or, “Oh, yes Mam! Anything you say! My wish is your command” and then laugh at her and the situation.
Another example is where a woman dumped a guy because he lacked purpose and direction in life.
In a case like that, the guy needs to show her that he has now fully decided on his big goals and dreams for life and has started to make progress towards them.
When a woman can see that her guy has moved past the level that he was at when she broke up with him (without needing her help), she will naturally begin to feel some respect for him again.
When she feels respect, she can then begin to feel sexually attracted to him again and when that happens, she becomes more open to the idea of reconnecting with her feelings of love for him.
2. Promising her that he will do anything if she will just give him another chance.
It’s only natural that a guy might feel upset when he gets broken up with, especially when he is still truly in love with his girlfriend (fiancé or wife).
He might even say to himself, “I don’t want our relationship to end! I still love her. She is the only woman for me. I can’t let her go without a fight! I don’t want any other woman. I have to get her back no matter what!”
That’s totally fine, but what isn’t fine is when a guy allows that to come through as desperation when talking to his ex, which then turns her off even more.
He may begin begging and pleading with her and saying things like, “I love you so much! Please forgive me just one more time and I’ll do anything that you want me to do. I’m so sorry! Please give me one more chance. Tell me what you want me to change and I will. You name it and I will do it. You have my word on that.”
However, the very fact that he’s asking her to tell him what he needs to change about himself to make her happy, only backs up her feeling that he doesn’t yet have a clue as to what really caused her feelings for him to change.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be the one to tell her guy what he’s been doing wrong, because she doesn’t want to be his teacher in life on how to be a man.
If she has to teach him how to be the man that she needs now, she fears that she will end up feeling like she has to take on that role for the rest of her life, which will make her feel like his mother or big sister.
So, rather than promising your ex that you will do anything she wants you to do, focus instead on figuring out what happened to cause her feelings for you to change.
- If you were too emotionally sensitive, start being an emotionally strong, emotionally masculine man.
- If you lacked purpose and direction in life, get clear on your goals and start making progress. You don’t have to achieve your goals now, but just get started in the direction of your goals.
- If you let her wear the pants in the relationship and it turned her off, decide that you’re not going to be a pushover with her anymore.
- If you were closed up emotionally and didn’t properly convey your love for her, start being emotionally fearless, but do not become a hopeless romantic and pour your heart out to her.
- If you stopped making her feel attracted to you, start attracting her in new ways.
Take action to turn things around by making the necessary improvements to yourself that will show her you’ve learned from your past mistakes and are now a better man.
Be a man that she can look up to, respect and feel attracted to, rather than a man that she feels sorry for, resents or looks down on.
3. Explaining all of his feelings for her in a long letter, e-mail or series of text messages.
Some guys believe that if they fully explain to their ex how they feel and how much they still care for her, she will suddenly change her mind.
In cases like that, a guy might send his ex a long letter, e-mail or a series of text messages to say things like, “You still mean the world to me. Without you I’m lost. I really love you and I will do anything to get you to take me back one more time. I have never loved a woman as much as I love you. You mean so much to me. All the times we spent together are my most cherished memories in life. Do you remember the time when we…”
…and so on.
Yet, in most cases that doesn’t work.
Firstly, when a woman has stopped feeling respect and attraction for a guy, him telling her all about he feels now just isn’t going to matter to her.
Instead, a woman will usually think, “Whatever! I’ve had enough and I’m moving on with my life. I’m not interested in hearing about your feelings for me anymore. I don’t have feelings for you now and you still have no idea how to change that. You’re trying to get me back to make yourself feel better. I feel fine without you, but you need me. I just don’t feel the same way as you do anymore. You’ve lost me. You don’t even know what will make me feel respect, attraction and love for you right now. You are trying to get me back and nothing that you are saying is hitting the mark.”
She just doesn’t care because he hasn’t done anything to reactivate her feelings for him and is trying to get her back based on what he wants.
Even though he might be a good guy and is trying to do the right thing, she will think of him as being selfish because it’s all about him getting what he wants.
Secondly, according to multiple studies, only 7% of communication between two people is based on words, while a whopping 93% is based on body language, vibe and tone of voice.
So, when a woman gets a letter, e-mail or text message, she cannot experience your body language or listen to the tonality of your voice.
She then has to guess at your state of mind, and if she currently has negative feelings towards you, she will probably perceive your words in a less than favorable way.
Instead of thinking, “That is an amazing letter. I am so moved by it. My ex obviously really cares about me. Maybe I’m being too hard on him,” she is likely thinking, “Here we go again! He’s just trying to push me into taking him back,” or “How annoying. He thinks telling me that he loves me in a text or e-mail is actually going to change all the bad things he did to me. Think again!”
So, don’t waste time pouring your heart out to your ex in a letter, e-mail or text message.
Instead, focus on getting her on a phone call where you can reactivate some of her feelings of respect and attraction for you by making her laugh and smile, and then get her to meet up with you in person.
4. Trying to show her how much he cares, rather than making her care by reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction.
Sometimes, a guy may think to himself, “Maybe if I buy my ex some roses, pay for her rent, and be extra nice and supportive towards her, she will see how much she really means to me and will then take me back one more time.”
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that even if a woman accepts his gifts and attention, if he doesn’t do anything else to reactivate her respect and sexual attraction for him as a man, it’s not going to matter that much to her that he is trying to show her how much he still cares.
So, rather than wasting a lot of time trying show your ex that you care by getting her material things, focus instead on making her care by reactivating her feelings of respect and attraction.
You can do that by letting her experience positive emotions such as respect, attraction and happiness, every time that you interact with her from now on.
The more that you reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you, the faster it makes the negatives of your relationship seem less important to her.
She naturally begins to feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her, and she can’t stop herself from wanting to interact with you via text, on the phone and in person.
Even though she might have previously been saying, “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore. I’m over you,” she will now start to think about taking you back one more time just to see how it goes.