You and your girlfriend (or wife) broke up and naturally you feel terrible.
It doesn’t matter if breakup was your idea or hers. Either way, it’s a hard thing to get past, especially if you and her shared an amazing connection that felt great when things were really good between you.
At The Modern Man, we will show how to get over a girl by teaching how to attract new women, but your mourning period is going to be much longer and more difficult than it has to be especially if you make one or more of these eight mistakes.
Mistake 1: Getting Back with Your Ex
After a few days, weeks or months of feeling bad and being afraid that you’ll never find anyone else, you may decide that getting back with your ex is what you need to do to feel better.
In most cases that would be the wrong thing to do. If the relationship didn’t work before, chances are great that unless you, she or the both of you have made some major life changes that would make you a better couple now, hooking up again is only delaying the inevitable.
After a short time back together, you will undoubtedly break up again and this time you’re going to feel even worse so why would you think that that is how to get over a girl?
Mistake 2: Maintaining Contact
While there may come a time in the future that you and your ex can develop a level of friendship, that adjustment won’t happen overnight. For the time being, avoid speaking with her, un-friend her or block her messages on social media sites and basically keep your distance.
If you don’t break contact with her, at least until you’re in a better mental state, each time you communicate with her or you read something she posts, it will be like tearing a bandage off a wound that’s not yet healed. You will need time to go from lover to friend, if that type of relationship is ever even possible, so don’t try to rush it.
Mistake 3: Seeking Comfort in Food or Drink
While it’s true that more women seek comfort in food when depressed then men, there are many men who try to “eat their feelings.” It never works. In fact, studies have shown that gorging on fatty comfort foods will release stress hormones that will make you feel worse.
The same could be said for “drowning your sorrows” in a bottle of booze. It’s a temporary fix at best and, because alcohol is a depressant, it very likely is going to make matters worse and amplify your sadness and misery.
Also, when you drink alcohol your inhibitions will be lowered and you’re more apt to try to contact your ex to either pour out your sorrows or to bitch her out and say things that you never really wanted to say.
Therefore, if you seek comfort with overdoing food, drink or both, you will only be adding to your problems rather than solving them.
Mistake 4: Getting Into Some Trouble
Many men will feel rage and anger after a breakup and may find that they can’t control their temper. They’ll pick a fight with a friend, punch a wall or explode over what would normally be a minor annoyance.
If you feel your temper rising and you need to punch something, head to the gym and use a punching bag. Exercise will release endorphins that are mood enhancers that will make you (and your fist) feel better.
Mistake 5: Isolating Yourself
Some men, in an effort to shield their friends from their depression or because they don’t want anyone they know to think that they are not being “manly” because they are being emotional over a breakup, will virtually lock themselves in their home. They won’t talk to friends, go out, share their feelings with anyone and will basically isolate themselves from the world.
If they don’t have to go out for school, work or to do necessary errands, they hole themselves up and keep to themselves while they continuously try to recount what went wrong in their relationship that led to the breakup.
Closing yourself off from the world and the people who can help you see that there’s more to life than a broken heart is not how to get over a girl.
Mistake 6: Going Down Memory Lane
Often after a breakup, even when the relationship was terrible, men will head down memory lane and only focus on the good times they enjoyed as a couple.
They’ll recall every happy event, every time they had great sex and every loving moment they shared. If you only focus on the good times and don’t acknowledge or minimize the reasons for the breakup, then instead of facing reality you’ll face extended heartache.
Mistake 7: Keeping Reminders Everywhere
If you find yourself staring at photos of the two of you in happier times, focusing on things like the toothbrush she left behind or wrapping yourself in a sweater she left at your place so you can sniff her perfume, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
The best thing to do is to put everything in a box and mail it to her (no, you shouldn’t drop it off yourself) or ditch them in the trash. Keeping reminders from the past is not helping you to move forward.
Mistake 8: Engaging in Character Assassination
If she broke you’re heart and you feel the need to publically disrespect her…don’t do it. You may think it will make you feel better and it’s how to get over a girl, but it’s not.
If you start telling tales about her to others, if you start posting unkind anecdotes about her on social media sites or engage in any type of character assassination, it won’t be your ex that will look bad – you will. You will appear weak, spiteful and distasteful to future lovers and current friends.
They will assume that if you are behaving like this over someone you once cared about, what would you potentially say about them? When you act like this, the only character you would successfully assassinate would be your own.