If you’ve begun to feel scared of losing your girlfriend, don’t worry – you can stop her from losing any more interest and get her to fall back in love with you again.
When a guy contacts me to say, “I’m scared of losing my girlfriend, what should I do?” he usually doesn’t know that to keep a relationship together with a woman, you have to deepen her love, respect and attraction for you over time.
You can’t just expect that a woman will want to stay with you because things felt good at the start or because she used to say that she loved you and wanted to be with you forever.
If you don’t want to be living in fear that you’re losing your girlfriend and she may cheat on you or dump you soon, just make sure that you do the right things from now on.
Starting right now, you have to make sure that you focus on saying and doing the types of things that will make her feel respect and attraction for you.
You have to stop saying and doing the types of things that have been turning her off and pushing her away.
The Start of the Relationship is the Easy Part
Let’s face it, when you first meet a woman and begin a relationship with her, it’s easy for everything to feel great because you both feel so attracted to each other and are enjoying the novelty of being with someone new.
Everything you do together feels fresh and exciting. You both have so much to talk about, the sex is fun and enjoyable and there are so many things you enjoy doing together that in the beginning of the relationship you are inseparable.
Yet, as time passes, the novelty of being together and doing everything together may start to wear off if you haven’t been focussing on evolving the relationship and deepening her love, respect and attraction for you.
It doesn’t matter how good things were at the start; a woman will begin to consider leaving you if the love, respect and attraction fades away.
You might feel betrayed by her if she breaks up with you or you might feel confused about why a woman could dump you if she once loved you so much.
However, that is how it works.
The love, respect and attraction between a man and a woman has to be deepened over time.
You can’t just take it for granted and expect that she will stick around.
In the past, a woman had to stick by a man for life even if she was unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced.
Today’s women are free to break up with a guy if they don’t feel happy. They can also have sex and experience many relationships with different guys until they feel like they are ready to settle down.
If you want to keep a relationship together for life, you have to do it right these days. You can’t just expect that your girlfriend will stick around because things were great at the start.
3 Signs That She’s Losing Interest
Let’s now determine what else might have been making you think, “I’m scared of losing my girlfriend” lately.
For example: Has she really given you a definite reason to doubt her love for you, or are your insecurity get in the way of the relationship?
Some of the classic signs that a girlfriend is looking for a way out of a relationship include:
1. She tells you she needs space
This is a very clear and obvious sign that your girlfriend is losing love, respect and attraction for you.
Most women won’t come right out and say they want to break up, so in many cases they will say things like, “I need some space to figure out what I really want” or, “I think we should spend some time apart so that we can decide where we want to take our relationship.”
Essentially a woman will ask for space for several reasons, including:
- She’s becoming bored in the relationship.
- She doesn’t want to settle down, or doesn’t feel that you’re the guy she wants to settle down with.
- She doesn’t want to break up with you fully until she’s certain she has another man lined up.
- She no longer respects you as a man.
2. She avoids having sex or being affectionate as much as possible
When was the last time she initiated sex? What happens when you touch or kiss her; does she turn into you and reciprocate or does she pull away making some excuse like, “Not now, you’re going to smudge my lipstick” or, “Not now, I have to go out” or the dreaded, “Not now, I have a headache”?
An obvious sign that the relationship is in trouble is when the sex dries up and a woman makes excuses to avoid even kissing, touching, holding hands or any other displays of affection that are common between happy couples.
3. She goes out without you
In a healthy relationship, a couple will do things together, but they will also spend time apart doing things with friends or by themselves. However, if a woman is looking to break up with her boyfriend, she will begin going out partying without him.
Many women will keep their boyfriend around until they find another guy to replace him with. So, if your girlfriend is going out without you on a regular basis, it means that she is making herself available to meet new men.
If she loved and respected you, she would want you to come along or she would have little interest in going out without you because she would prefer spending that time with you.
When a Man’s Behavior Makes a Woman Want to End the Relationship
When a guy is experiencing some of the pre-breakup signs mentioned above, he may begin to worry about losing his girlfriend.
He then may make the mistake of being needy, clingy or showing obvious signs of insecurity around her. However, this has the opposite effect to what he’s hoping for because women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness.
Instead of making her realize how lucky she is to be with him and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, his behavior will cause her to see him as weak and insecure. She will begin asking herself, “Is this really the guy I want to be with in the long term?” or, “How could I have overlooked how insecure and needy he really is?”
Since women are naturally attracted to confident, emotionally secure and mentally strong men and turned off by insecure, emotionally and mentally weak men, she will begin to feel repelled by him on a deep and instinctive level and she will pull even further away.
If he then reacts by becoming more needy, clingy and insecure, she will lose respect and attraction for him at an even faster rate.
Understand What’s Really Going On and Fix it Before it’s Too Late
When a woman begins to distance herself from her relationship it’s for one simple reason: She has stopped feeling the way she wants to feel when she’s with her man.
Understanding this is the first step to turning things around and fixing the core problem between you and your girlfriend.
The fact is, your girlfriend stopped getting what she needs from you, so she is now pulling away and opening herself up to finding someone else who will give her what she needs.
Instead of feeling bad about it, blaming yourself or holding on to the past, begin to get clear on what is really causing her to lose her feelings of love, attraction and respect for you. Ask yourself some honest questions:
- Did I take her love for granted and not really care about how I was making her feel?
- Did I become too clingy and jealous?
- Did I let work / studies / friends come between us?
- Did I smother her by needing too much of her time, affection and attention?
- Did I stop pursuing my own goals and ambitions in life and put too much focus on her?
- Did I listen to her and understand her needs in the relationship, or did I expect her to stick around even though I was making her unhappy?
- Were we going in the same direction in our lives? Did we want the same things?
Answering those questions will help you to begin seeing where the problems in the relationship are coming from and what you need to change.
From this moment on, you have to begin making serious changes. You can’t just say to your girlfriend, “I realize that we had problems and if you give me another chance I promise I’ll do whatever I can to change.”
That isn’t good enough for most women. Instead, your girlfriend is going to want to see that you already have changed and that, in every interaction she has with you, it now feels better and different.